There's fanfiction about us!
by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR
Summary: My 2nd Naruto fic. Shikamaru gets a laptop and discovers our website. Major OOCness! Rating changed to Mature because of Chapter 9! Next chapter is up! Currently reading Naruto Harem/Bashing type fic.
1. Prologue: Shika's new gift

Yo, everybody! This is my 2nd Naruto fic, in which the Narutotachi read all the fanfiction that we have posted about them! Beware of OOCness! On with the fic!

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Prologue: Shikamaru's new gift

It was another normal day in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Many people were simply going about their own business, the villagers working, and the Ninja's training to become stronger…well, except for one Nara Shikamaru.

He, as usual, was just staring at the clouds again, being the lazy genius that he is. He trained for an hour, said, "How troublesome," and felt that was more than enough for one day. Now he just wanted to relax.

But that never happened.

"Shikamaru-san, the Hokage wishes to speak to you now," An ANBU who appeared out of nowhere said.

Shikamaru sighed and jumped to his feet to follow the ANBU.

* * *

Tsunade was busy learning new card tricks on a weird-looking device as she waited for Shikamaru to show up. She was learning quite a lot, and planed to use this to do better in the gambling she loved to do.

"You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?" a voice came into the room. Tsunade looked up from the device to see Shikamaru looking down at her.

"Ah, yes I did, Shikamaru-kun. I sent for you so that I could give you this," Tsunade said, pointing at the device.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at the strange looking thing. "And what is this…thing, if I may ask?"

"It came from someone who lives in a place known as the U.S.A called Prince of DDR, or something like that."

(And that was today's shameless self-insertion brought to you by PrinceofDDR. Sponsored by Burger King. 'Have it your way!')

"It's called a wireless Laptop."

"But who is this Prince of DDR?"

Tsunade shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Heck if I know. But this thing is great! It comes equipped with something called the 'Internet.' This 'Internet' has everything you could possibly ask for! Card Tips, Poker sites, the list goes on and on! I wish that this thing was mine! But alas, it had to go to a lazy bum like you. But don't let it just sit around and collect dust. AS THE HOKAGE, I COMMAND YOU TO USE IT! AND TO LET ME BARROW IT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE! Got it?"

"Sure, got it," Shikamaru said in a tired tone.

"Good! Here's the manual. I'm sure you'll love it!" Tsunade said.

* * *

Later on, Shikamaru could be seen looking at various websites that all had new 'Lazy boy' recliners for sale. Once he learned to surf the net, he couldn't get enough of it! Suddenly, a pop-up showed up, and caught Shikamaru's interest.

"I wonder what this site is all about. Oh, well. Only one way to find out!" He said to himself as he clicked the link...

* * *

And that's how it starts! I'm going to start with a funny fic first. Give me some feedback, or stories besides your own that you would like to see! Catch you next continue! 


	2. The first story & Naruto arrives!

Yo, everybody! I'm so glad that so many people reviewed! This is the most reviews that I've gotten for a first chapter, let alone a story, ever! That is why I must do great with this fic! Since you guys were so great, here is the next chapter! And before I forget, thanks to chinkeepdaughter126 for the story idea!

Notes:

"blah" Someone talking.

_"blah" _Thoughts, or story they are reading.

**"blah"** Kyuubi talking.

_"**blah"**_ Kyuubi thinking.

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There's fanfiction about us!

Chapter 1: The first story & Naruto arrives!

* * *

As Shikamaru clicked on the link, he came across a place that had all sorts of fanfiction in it. The genius raised an eyebrow as he saw all the different things that people made fanfiction on, including books, movies, T.V shows, something called 'Anime', and so on.

"What is this 'Anime?'" Shikamaru said to himself. His interest was peaked, so he clicked on it. In a few seconds, he saw all sorts of different named anime. There were ones called 'Dragonball Z', 'Yu-Gi-Oh', 'One Piece', etc. But one name really caught his attention.

It was the name, 'Naruto'.

"What? They have fanfiction based on that troublesome Naruto?" Shikamaru said in disbelief. "I have got to see this."

And with that, Shikamaru clicked on the name, and was surprised to see a ton of stories that weren't just about Naruto, but every major person as well! Including him! After a few moments, he saw a story that he thought to be interesting.

* * *

Nosy Shinobies 

_What would happen if the four best chuunins of Konoha decided to spy on the girls?

* * *

_

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at this and was about to look at it when a loud voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey, Shikamaru-san!"

Shikamaru flinched as he heard that voice. He knew that only one person could be that loud.

Naruto himself.

"What do you want, Naruto-san?" Shikamaru said in a tired, yet slightly irritated, tone.

Naruto ignored the tone and replied, "The rest of us just finished our training and were about to have a picnic, so I volunteered to find you. What are you doing anyway?"

"I was just about to read a story that looked interesting. Nothing that you would like anyway," Shikamaru said.

Naruto looked insulted. "Oh yeah? Try me, smart boy!"

Shikamaru sighed and gestured for Naruto to sit down and be quiet. He then clicked the link and they both began to read the story.

_

* * *

Rays of the golden sun penetrated through the thick branches of an old cherry tree, where an obsidian-eyed lad was currently leaning._

"_Ahhhhhhhh! Why are we cursed with the most tardy and perverted senseis? Why?" Naruto wailed as his three companions sighed loudly.

* * *

_

"Wow, this story is about me?" Naruto exclaimed.

"It looks like it," Shikamaru shrugged. "Now, be quiet so we can read on."

Naruto scowled at Shikamaru before returning his gaze at the Laptop screen.

* * *

_He had been going on about this for about an hour of the time they had spent waiting for their sensei. It was because of an important training they were about to receive, though the reason behind it, they didn't know._

"_Shut up, dobe," Sasuke said monotonously. _

"_Ha! Don't pretend to be so cool, teme! I know you're just as irritated as I am with this. I mean, why do we need this stupid training anyway? It's not as if we don't train ourselves," Naruto complained with a childish pout. _

"_Hn. At least we're not whining and complaining like a total idiot," Sasuke retorted._

"_TEME! Prepare to die! Naruto growled furiously as he prepared to lunge at Sasuke, who had his eyes closed, not moving an inch.

* * *

_

"Alright! I finally get to show that bastard whose boss!" Naruto cheered.

"Don't get too excited, Naruto. Read the next few lines," Shikamaru said simply.

* * *

_Shikamaru sighed and muttered something under his breath before standing up from his position and pulling Naruto away from Sasuke before he even reached him._

"_Hey! Put me down, let me go! Let me at him!" Naruto protested while struggling to get out of Shikamaru's grip on him._

"_You are too troublesome for your own good, Naruto," Shikamaru said as he put Naruto down and laid in the grass again to watch the clouds. Naruto just pouted.

* * *

_

"Aw, man! Why did you have to stop me! I was gonna give that teme what he deserves!" Naruto whined at Shikamaru.

"Naruto, you seem to forget that this is a 'story.' You know, as in NOT real? It would be far too troublesome for me to even bother," Shikamaru sighed out.

"Whatever. Anyway, this looks good. Where did you find this story anyway?" Naruto inquired.

"It's one of many stories about us, and some others that we know, that I found on a site devoted to fanfiction," Shikamaru replied.

"Wow! You mean that there's fanfiction about us!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yes, by the looks of it," Shikamaru said.

"Cool! I'll go and tell the others about this! Wait for a second while I go and get them!" Naruto shouted as he rushed out of the room, leaving a trail of smoke behind him.

As Shikamaru watched Naruto run out of the room, he only had one thought in his mind. _"This is going to be troublesome…"

* * *

_

And there we go! Don't worry, I'll get to some action stories and Yaoi between Sasuke and Naruto soon! Please review! And catch you next contintue! 


	3. Nosy Shinobies: Revelations

Yo, everybody! This fic is doing even better than I thought it would! Thanks to all you guys who reviewed! And now, here's more of: There's Fanfiction about us!

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There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 2: Nosy Shinobies: Revelations (Part 1)

* * *

Shikamaru waited for Naruto to return with the rest of the Rookie Nine from the picnic. He didn't have to wait long before he heard a voice say, "This had better be good, dobe. I was just about to eat my juicy Hot Link."

"Don't worry, teme. I'm sure you'll like this story. You too, Neji!" Naruto's voice sounded off.

"…For your sake, I hope you're right, Naruto," Neji's cold voice came through.

Shikamaru watched as Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji made their way into the room. "Finally back, Naruto," he said.

"Yep! I could only get these guys to come, though. The rest said that after they're done eating, they'll come," Naruto replied.

"So what's this story that the dobe wanted us to see?" asked Sasuke in a bored tone.

"It's a story that I found on a site devoted to fanfiction. It's called, _Nosy Shinobies_," Shikamaru replied.

"What's it about?" Neji inquired.

"It's about four chunnins, namely us, spying on the girls," Naruto said.

"So far, we are waiting for Kakashi-sensei, who is late as usual…" Shikamaru said.

"I began to get bored and started to rant about late, perverted senseis…" Naruto continued.

"Sasuke got annoyed and told the 'dobe' to shut up…" Shikamaru went on.

"I was about to kick the teme's ass…" Naruto went on.

"And I got up from the grass, grabbed Naruto, and stopped him before he even got to Sasuke," Shikamaru finished.

"It seems that this person knows our personalities quite well…" Neji said.

"Scary huh? Anyway, we were about the read the rest of it. And by the looks of it, there is more than one chapter. Want to read it with us?" Naruto asked.

"Sure. This story seems quite interesting," Neji said, sitting down.

"Hn," was all Sasuke said as he sat down as well.

"Cool!" Naruto said with his big fox grin as they all turned to the laptop.

* * *

_Hours passed by, and there was still no sign of Kakashi, or his perverted book._

"_Ahhhh! This is so boring, so let's play!" Naruto said, breaking the silence, as well as distracting Shikamaru from his cloud watching, waking the Hyuuga prodigy who was apparently sleeping while leaning on a tree, and snapping Sasuke out of his brooding._

"_We do not play childish games..." Neji said flatly._

"…_especially with an idiot like you…dobe," continued Sasuke, while glaring daggers at him, then at Neji._

_Neji, in return, glared back at him._

"_It's too troublesome," Shikamaru said as he yawned sleepily and focused his attention back on the clouds._

"_Come on, guys! I'm just going to ask you some questions, okay? Just to kill time! PLEASEEEEEEEEE!" Naruto pleaded with puppy-dog eyes, complete with fake tears and a childish pout. Only from Konoha's loud-mouthed idiot._

_The three men resisted the urge to send Naruto flying for about at least 150 kilometers from them.

* * *

_

"To hell with that. If that happened, I WOULD'VE sent Naruto flying that far," Neji said suddenly.

The other three men looked at him with wide eyes.

"What? I hate it when people fake crying more than anything."

"Oooookay…" Naruto said slowly.

* * *

'_Does this man have no shame?' They all thought._

_Naruto continued to whine like a baby…and it wasn't a very good sight either._

'_Apparently not,' they all thought with disgust.

* * *

_

"That's not true! I have plenty of shame!" Naruto shouted out indignantly. "… Wait, that didn't come out right…"

"…dobe," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

"What did you say, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto roared at the avenger.

"Calm down, Naruto. Let's just get back to the story," Shikamaru advised before a fight broke out.

* * *

"_Fine, fine. Ask all you want. Just stop from being a whiny, idiotic moron even for a moment okay? Some of us want silence you know!" bellowed Sasuke._

"_Yay! Okay, let's start with you Sasuke, since you seem to be so excited about this, ne?" Naruto said as he strode towards Sasuke and began pestering him._

"_Do you like someone?" Naruto asked slyly to Sasuke who just pretended he doesn't care and has his eyes closed while leaning on a tree, an old cherry tree._

_Minutes had passed, and still Naruto hadn't given up on Sasuke. Finally Sasuke snapped at Naruto, annoyed at his big filthy, blabbering mouth._

"_Listen and listen well. I DO NOT LIKE SAKURA! OKAY!" He shouted as he held Naruto by his collar and then dropped him instantly._

_Then, he noticed the weird stare his companions were giving him. Even Naruto hadn't got up from the ground where he landed._

"_WHAT!" he asked, irritated at the way they were acting._

_Neji spoke first. "Do you realize that Naruto here is only asking you if you like someone, and then you shouted at him saying you do not like Sakura, when he did not even mention her?"

* * *

_

"Ha, Ha, Ha! I outsmarted the teme!" Naruto crowed.

"This is just a story, dobe," Sasuke reminded him. "The day you outsmart me in REAL life, is the day I wear pretty pink nail polish." (A.N: I heard this from another fanfic! But I can't remember the name…)

* * *

_Naruto smirked widely at him as he helped himself up._

"_I knew it! Our little Sasuke is growing up!" Naruto said with fake tears as he ran to Sasuke to give him a hug… only to be met with a fist._

_Naruto appeared beside Neji as Sasuke only punched a bunshin of him._

"_Okay, time to move on. How about you Neji? Huh?" He asked with an innocent face plastered on._

"_You can move on, Naruto. I don't like anyone," Neji said coolly as he crossed his arms over his chest._

_"Ohhhh harsh, aren't we Neji. But we're not falling for that! So make it easy for yourself and tell us," he said._

"……"

"_You know I think I saw Tenten with Lee the other day …." Naruto said off-handedly._

"_WHAT? WHERE DID YOU SEE THEM? WH—"he was cut off when he noticed the smug expression of Naruto and the bewildered looks of Sasuke and Shikamaru._

'_Crap,' He thought as he realized he had been caught in a trap_.

* * *

"Alright! I outsmarted Neji too! I'm beginning to like this story!" Naruto exclaimed with a big smile on his face.

Neji just glared at him in return.

* * *

"_Okay, so let's recall. Sasuke loves Sakura," this earned a glare from Sasuke with a microscopic blush, "Neji loves Tenten," Neji glowered murderously at him, "I love Hinata-chan –"he was cut off by an enraged Neji._

"_What?" Neji asked Naruto with glint of pure murder in his eyes as he advanced to the bewildered Naruto._

"_H-hey, Neji! I'm not doing anything to her. She doesn't even know yet!" Naruto exclaimed, backing away from Neji._

"_You'd better not be doing anything, or else…" Neji warned him, finally calming down.

* * *

_

"I didn't know that you cared so much about Hinata-chan, Neji," Naruto said slyly.

"Well, she is my cousin," Neji retorted. "Only god knows what you would do with her if I weren't around."

"Hey, I'm not like that!" Naruto shouted, glaring at the Hyuuga genius.

"Well, seeing as how you trained with Jiryia, the legendary super-pervert, AND maker of Icha Icha Paradise, you can't be too careful," Neji said with a shrug.

"Let's get back to the story," Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

"_Okay. Shikamaru, admit to us that you like that Sasuke-obsessed freak!" Naruto stated._

_Shikamaru tuned to glare at him. "Don't call her that Naruto!"_

"_Ha! So you admit it! You have a thing for her!" he said triumphantly as he did a little victory dance. Shikamaru just sweat dropped seeing his action.

* * *

_

"Yay! I outsmarted _everyone!_" Naruto said, doing the same victory dance.

"Naruto, how many times do we have to tell you?" Shikamaru said tiredly.

"It's," Neji began.

"Just," Sasuke went on.

"A," Shikamaru continued.

"STORY!" All three of them finished.

"Dobe," Sasuke said for finish.

"I. Don't. Care." Naruto replied while still doing the dance.

The other three shinobi just sweatdropped.

* * *

Alright, I hope you liked this chapter! Next chapter, the guys finally finish the first chapter of Nosy Shinobies, and some of the girls will show up! Catch you next continue! 


	4. The Girls arrive!

Yo, eveybody! Thanks for all the reviews! This is by far my best story! Here's the next chapter of, There's fanfiction about us!

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There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 3: The girls arrive!

* * *

After about ten minutes of Naruto's victory dance, the guys were about to get back to reading. But just then, Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata all came into the room. (A.N: Convenient, huh?)

"Hey guys!" Tenten called out cheerfully. "We're finally done eating! Now we can read that story you wanted us to see!"

The boys froze, and for good reason. Even though the author of the story might have just guessed whom the four boys liked, he/she was right on the money. But they, even Sasuke, were too bashful to admit it. They considered burning the computer right then and there, but they didn't for two reasons. 1: Because it would be the end of this story (not that THEY knew that) and 2: Tsunade, who would still want to use the computer for gambling reasons, would kill them.

Besides, it's not like the girls would think this was a TRUE story or anything.

Right?

"By the way, what's the story about anyway?" Sakura inquired.

"Well…um..uh…" The boys stammered, very OOC from their usual selves. It was Shikamaru that snapped out of it first.

"This story is about we four, (Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, and Shikamaru) spying on you four, (Hinata, Sakura, Tenten, Ino) because we were bored waiting for Kakashi-sensei."

"So far, I've outsmarted the rest of the guys into revealing who they really liked, even the teme here!" Naruto cheered, which earned him a glare from said guys, especially Sasuke.

"If it wasn't a story, I'd find that hard to believe," Ino deadpanned, causing Naruto to fall Anime-style, which caused everyone else to laugh. (Even Hinata)

"Aw, shaddup, Ino-pig," Naruto said as he pulled himself back up. "Let's get back to the story!"

The four girls sat down and they all looked at the Laptop screen.

* * *

_After that, all of them were lost in their own world.__Inside Sasuke's utterly confused world… _

_'Hn. That dobe. Why did I act that way anyway? It's not as if I even like her. And her soft pink hair, with that creamy white skin, and those green orbs, that plague my mind till dawn during the night. I consider it as a fleeting attraction. A mild one. Right?'

* * *

_

Sasuke and Sakura where blushing so BRIGHT right now, that they might have been confused with Hinata if seen from afar. And everybody else laughing was NOT helping.

"Man, I didn't… know you… had… thoughts like that… about… Sakura, Sasuke-teme," Naruto choked out in between laughs.

"Yeah, Uchiha. Maybe you are growing up after all," Neji said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh, shut up, you two. I think of Sakura as a friend, and nothing more," Sasuke replied bitterly.

"Then why are you blushing, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said, with the same blush on her face.

"Natural reaction," Sasuke lied quickly, getting back into his brooding mode.

* * *

_In the Hyuuga's jealous mind …._

_'That idiot. I do not know how he managed to outwit me, THE HYUUGA NEJI. I should not have believed him in the first place. So what if my sparring partner had been with my best friend? I will of course feel anything BUT betrayal of my friends. Tch, I'm thinking too much. ……still……'

* * *

_

Now Neji and Tenten were the ones blushing while the rest were laughing.

"Damn, Hyuuga. You sure are vain, huh mister, 'THE-HYUUGA-NEJI,' Sasuke smirked.

"I know! Even the teme isn't THAT vain!" Naruto said while laughing his head off.

"Very funny, everybody," Neji and Tenten both said in sync, sending death glares all around.

* * *

_Shikamaru's complex befuddled mind …._

_'Naruto is so troublesome! Whatever was he thinking? Ahh, thinking so much is too troublesome, like that troublesome woman who's always on my mind, along with her long golden locks that move with her every movement … wait, what am I thinking? Describing her is too troublesome….'

* * *

_

Now it was Ino's and Shika's turn to blush as the rest laughed the loudest at these words.

"Man, Shikamaru. ANYTHING is just too troublesome for you, isn't it?" Naruto laughed.

"I know! He said troublesome FOUR whole times in that statement!" Shouted out Hinata in a very Non-Hinata like way.

"Hn, you guys are all just too troublesome for your own good," Shikamaru AND Ino said at the same time, which caused both to look at each other and blush some more, which made everybody else laugh harder.

* * *

_A couple of hours passed, and there was still no sign of Kakashi.__"AHHHHHH! Why are we cursed with perverted senseis? WHY?" _

_"Don't ask us dobe. You were cursed with two," Sasuke remarked bluntly._

_"I know! Let's play another game! So, what do you think guys?" Naruto said while looking around, expecting a positive answer._

_"No." the rest said flatly._

_"Oh come on! Don't be such party-poopers. We could spy on the girls," Naruto stated excitedly.

* * *

_

"And leave it to Naruto to be the one to suggest the whole, 'spying on the girls' idea," Sakura deadpanned.

"That's not nice!" Naruto said, pretending to cry. "Why didn't you think it would be any of the others?"

"Because Neji and Sasuke-kun would rather train, and it would be too troublesome for Shika-kun," Ino stated.

"Don't call me Shika-kun," Shikamaru said, a tiny blush on his face.

* * *

_Neji broke from his glaring contest with Sasuke upon hearing on what the fox boy said. "You're sick." He said disgustingly._

_Sasuke turned to Naruto and said wearily "As expected, coming from a dobe like you, the idea is obviously trash."_

"_It seems like you picked up a thing or two from that perverted sennin Naruto." Shikamaru said._

_"NO! You guys, I was not thinking of anything perverted. What I mean was we could know their secrets. Anyway there's nothing better to do. Heaven knows that our perverted teacher won't be here for at least a couple of hours, so what do you think? Huh? Huh?" The blond boy said, absolutely giddy at the prospect of spying on the girls.

* * *

_

"For some reason, the words 'Naruto' and 'giddy', without the words 'ramen' or 'learn new powerful justu or move' doesn't feel right," Ten-Ten said with a sweatdrop.

The rest of the girls agreed, even Hinata.

* * *

_'Well, I do want to know if Sakura has grown on me …. I mean, where did that come from?' Sasuke thought as he tried to brush away the thought.

* * *

_

"That's an understatement. Sakura-chan has been growing on Sasuke for the past FIVE years," Naruto deadpanned, which caused said girl to blush.

* * *

_"Alright dobe, I'll go to this stupid thing." Sasuke said monotonously while eyeing Naruto suspiciously. "No funny business okay?"_

_"Alright! Teme will go! How about you, Neji?" Naruto asked looking hopefully at Neji._

_'Come to think of it, maybe I'll find out if Tenten likes me…. erm…. I mean as a friend," Neji thought as a small amount of blood made its way on his face._

_"Whatever," Neji replied while looking away. Naruto then looked expectedly at Shikamaru._

_"Fine. But what if they caught us, huh? What would we do?" Shikamaru pointed out to them._

_"Oh come on! We're ninja's for Hokage's sake!" Naruto cried desperately._

_The other three looked thoughtful for a moment then slowly nodded._

_"Hn."_

_"Whatever."_

_"This is too troublesome…" "Alright! Now, we have to find them. Where could they be?" Naruto said as hescratched __the back of his head._

_Suddenly they heard a loud giggle followed by splashing of water and shrieking._

_"I think I have an idea where …" Naruto said as they followed the sound rather silently, like a mouse.

* * *

_

And that ends the first chapter of, Nosy Shinobies! I'll try to make the reactions to the next chapter even funnier! Catch you next Continue! 


	5. Yaoi time!

Yo, everybody! Sorry I haven't updated in so long, but I'm also working on the other Naruto Fanfic of mine. Hopefuly, this chapter will make up for it! Enjoy!

There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 5: Time for Yaoi!

"Well, we're done with the first chapter," Shikamaru stated. "Do you guys want to go on, or read a different story and come back to this later?"

"I say we read a different one. We can always come back to this, and I want to see what other types of stories there are out there," Neji said. Everybody else agreed with him, even Sasuke.

"Very well. Now which story type do you want to see?" Shika asked.

"It should be humor!" Naruto shouted.

"Action/Adventure!" Ten-Ten put in.

"Mystery," Neji said.

"Tragedy," Sasuke muttered.

"ROMANCE!" Ino, Sakura, and even Hinata exclaimed.

"Sorry guys, and Ten-Ten, but the ladies want romance," Shikamaru said.

"YAY!" the said ladies went.

"AWWW!" The boys (and Ten-Ten) went.

So Shikamaru (being the only qualified one to work the computer) chose to put romance in the search box, and pressed O.K. Soon after, a ton of stories showed up in that field. And while Shikamaru looked through them, he saw one that made him do a double take. He read it closely. He read it again. Then he did something that no one thought he would ever do.

He laughed.

He laughed REAL loud.

He was rolling on the floor with laughter for Kami's sake!

The others, knowing Shikamaru, knew that only something REALLY funny could get him to act like this. So they all took a look at the story title.

* * *

_Only you: The love Chronicles of Sasuke and Naruto_

_This is a collection of SasuNaru oneshots in their daily lives as lovers.

* * *

_

There were many different reactions.

Neji joined Shikamaru in good old-fashioned rolling on the floor laughter.

Ten-Ten had her face glued to the monitor.

Hinata, Ino, and Sakura were seething on the outside, but their inner Yaoi fangirls were screaming, "CUTE!"

Sasuke looked like he wanted to throw up.

Naruto ran outside and DID throw up.

After Shikamaru had regained his composure, he stated, "We have GOT to read this!"

"For once, I agree with you," Neji said with a smirk.

"Sounds interesting!" Ten-Ten said, still staring at the laptop.

"Why not!" Ino, Sakura, and Hinata said before even thinking.

"If you click that story, I will make sure you suffer a slow, painful _death_." Sasuke warned, revealing his Sharingan.

"Ditto!" Said Naruto who just came back in, powering up the Rsanegan. (Spelling)

Shikamaru looked at both of them, did some hand signs, and preformed his family's trademark Jutsu, which pinned down both Naruto's and Sasuke's shadows so they couldn't move.

"Too bad, but it looks like we WILL be reading this story," He said with a grin.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" Naruto and Sasuke roared as the rest began to read the story.

* * *

**Love 1: The Genius & the Dobe**

_A tall, dark haired man sat on a branch, his back leaning against the tree; the cool breeze blowing long raven bangs that framed a slightly annoyed, yet handsome face. The man's onyx eyes trailed off to a certain mop of unruly blonde hair belonging to a slender man in a green yutaka, who happened to be grinning at his longhaired companion._

"_Stupid, Dobe," said Sasuke. He glared at the blonde's companion who held the blonde's chin, wiping something from his face, causing the blonde to blush._

_Sasuke continued to watch the pair as they walked among the crowd, stopping by a few stalls here and there._

_His eyes softened as he watched, mesmerized by the blonde's smile as he managed to catch a goldfish at one of the stalls. Sasuke's lips tugged into a small smile as he saw the Kyuubi holder's beaming face as he won a teddy bear from another. But the recipient of those smiles was not he, and he felt a sudden wave of jealousy for the lucky man beside the blonde._

_The last Uchiha survivor wanted nothing more in the whole wide world than to be the one who was at the blonde's side, having the blonde smiling at him, laughing with him, blushing for him, and him alone.

* * *

_

Everybody, except Naruto and Sasuke, was laughing their asses off.

"Man, Uchiha. Who knew you had it so bad for the dobe here!" Neji exclaimed while laughing.

"That's Sasuke for you! He's a romantic deep down inside," Shikamaru said in a girly tone, causing the others to laugh even harder.

"Ha, Ha, Ha. Very funny. Like I would ever have any feeling other than contempt for this dobe," Sasuke stated.

"Same goes for me. It's awfully hard to love someone you utterly HATE!" Naruto shouted, trying to break free of the shadow Jutsu.

* * *

_He wanted to confess his feelings, pour out the emotions that he had held closed inside of himself for so long._

"_Usuratonkachi" Sasuke sighed. If only words were something for him to express easily. _

_The blonde's companion turned suddenly and stared right into Sasuke's eyes. White orbs met black ones. The man beside the blonde gave a smirk, as he slipped his arm around the blonde's waist, pulling him closer. The blonde man seemed to protest weakly, but let the arm stayed around him nevertheless.

* * *

_

"Wait, 'White orbs,'?" Shikamaru said.

"There's only one man with white orbs that would be near Naruto!" Sakura stated.

"And that man…" Hinata began.

"Is…" Ino continued.

"NEJI!" Everybody, except Neji, shouted.

"WHAT!" Neji shouted, an angry look on his face.

"Well, I guess I have some competition, huh Hyuuga?" Sasuke said with a sly smirk on his face, which caused everybody else to laugh, while Neji swore.

* * *

"_That bastard!" A low growl came out of Sasuke's mouth as he watched the longhaired man bend down to kiss the blonde on the mouth. Sasuke's face flushed with anger and jealousy, his body shaking in rage at what he had witnessed. He was so shocked in fact, that he somehow lost his balance and fell hard to the ground, and then there was darkness as everything around him went black.

* * *

_

"OH MY GOD, NEJI! YOU KISSED NARUTO!" Ten-Ten screamed in a Yaoi fangirl shriek.

"AND SASUKE-KUN FAINTED!" Sakura and Ino shouted in the same way.

Hinata was just staring wide-eyed at the screen, thinking, '_I didn't know Neji-nii-san felt that way about Naruto…'_

"Pathetic, Uchiha. Fainting just because I kissed your crush. And you call yourself a man," Neji taunted in a mocking tone.

"Whatever, fruity," Sasuke replied with smirk, which made Neji growl.

* * *

"_Sasuke!" A loud voice called out to him in the darkness._

"_Sasuke! Sasuke! Wake up, teme" Slowly a bright light pierced through the darkness, as he opened his eyes, blinking at the sun's rays glaring down at him from opened window. The scent around him smelled of medicine and hygiene products._

"_What happened?" He asked the blonde dobe beside him._

"_You fell and hit your head, baka" Sasuke frowned at the name the other man had addressed him with_.

"_What are you doing here?" He asked._

"_Oh. Sakura told me you were in the hospital. So here I am." The blonde was fidgeting at the hem of the yutaka he wore._

_"Yes. But why?"_

"_What do you mean why? You got hurt so I came to see you."

* * *

_

"Didn't know that Naruto cared so much," Shikamaru stated.

"Well, wouldn't you come if your friend was in the hospital?" Naruto said.

"Not for the reasons that this author/authoress made you come for," Neji said, which made everybody else snicker, and Naruto glare.

* * *

"_Hn. What about your boyfriend? Shouldn't you be with him at this moment?" Sasuke scowled at the blonde._

"_What?" Startled, the cerulean eyes widened for a moment before he frowned at the black haired man in bed._

"_Hey. You were spying on me!" Whiskered cheeks turned a shade of pink._

_"Che"_

_"What did you see?" _

"_Nothing"_

"_I'm asking you what did you see!" said the blonde, a little angry at Sasuke's curt reply._

"_Why should I tell you, dobe?" Onyx eyes gaze darkly into cerulean ones, his arms crossed._

"_YOU ARE SO STUBBORN, YOU KNOW THAT BASTARD!" Yelled Naruto into Sasuke's face as he yanked Sasuke's collar forward._

"_Why don't you go back and kiss your boyfriend, dobe?" The raven-haired man said coldly._

"_WHY YOU…YOU…TEME!" The blonde suddenly pushed the black haired man down onto the mattress roughly, leaning forward bringing his lips onto Sasuke's_.

* * *

Everyone went wide-eyed while they read that sentence.

"Wow! Naruto made the first move!" Ino said.

"I didn't think he had it in him," Neji stated.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at the sentence, then at each other, and both turned away, blushing a little bit. (AN: NOT YAOI! THEY ARE JUST EMBARESSED!)

* * *

_Clearly taken by surprise and in shock, Sasuke's mind began to register what was currently happening. Naruto was kissing him; he could feel the soft, supple lips molding into his. The genius Uchiha mind quickly came up with two options: One was to take the willing, kissing blonde and ravish him, while the other was to push the blonde off of him, out of the room, and out of his life._

_Obviously his other head was much faster in making up his mind for him so he grabbed hold of Naruto and turned over quickly, reversing their positions._

_Uchiha Sasuke gave a smirk, congratulating himself. 'Much better,' he thought. The dobe laid flat on his back taken by surprised, while he, the Great Uchiha was looming above him, straddling him._

"_TEME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Blushing furiously, the blonde man tried to push Sasuke of him._

"_Shut up, dobe" Uchiha Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto's hands pinning him to the mattress._

_His lips caught hold of Naruto's roughly, sucking the pink supple lips beneath him. He wanted more. No. He needed more. He bit the lower lip, tugging on it to open. The blonde man moaned at Sasuke's assault. He could feel blood coming out of the slight wound, as Sasuke's tongue slid out, tasting the trickles of blood. His mouth closed around the bruised lips, while his tongue prodded at the small opening he had found, forcing Naruto to open his mouth as Sasuke's tongue advanced forward on its quest to further explore the blonde's hot cavern. As Sasuke's tongue swirled around, feeling the texture and taste of the blonde, Naruto's hesitant tongue began to join his, braving itself to feel the inside of Sasuke's mouth.

* * *

_

By this time, everybody was blushing so hard, that they almost passed out, Sasuke and Naruto in particular.

"OH," Shikamaru began.

"MY," Neji went on.

"GOD!" The girls finished.

A couple of seconds passed.

"Well…" Sakura began. "Naruto and Sasuke are… REALLY going at it…huh?"

"Damn, I'll say!" Shikamaru said, still wide-eyed.

Everybody else was wondering whether to laugh uncontrollably, or look away to hide the blushes on their faces.

* * *

_More moans followed as both men were so engrossed in their kissing, that they failed to hear someone coming in.__"Ehem!…Cough..Cough"_

_Sasuke brought his gaze up to the man who had interrupted him much to the protest of the blonde man beneath him. He glared as he saw Hyuuga Neji watching him with a smirking face_.

* * *

"Uh, oh. Busted," Ten-Ten said like she was watching a soap opera.

"I hope Sasuke and Neji don't kill each other TOO badly…" Shikamaru said.

* * *

"_My…my…busy aren't we, Uchiha?" Sneered the longhaired man looking at the angry avenger and the dazed blonde on the bed._

"_Che. Mind your own business," said the dark avenger, his glare intensified enough that a normal person would have died in fright, right on the spot._

"_Perhaps you would be so kind as to get off my little angel there?" Neji was referring to the blonde underneath Sasuke._

"_Get your own turf, Hyuuga. He belongs to me!" Growled Sasuke, holding Naruto tightly against him._

"_Oh really? Is that right, Naru-chan?" he asked, looking between the blonde's flushed face and Sasuke's glaring one._

_Naruto's face turned a darker shade of red as he suddenly burst out. "HYUUGA NEJI. THAT IS ENOUGH! STOP PLAYING WITH SASUKE! DON'T YOU GUYS THINK YOU'VE TEASED HIM ENOUGH!"_

_Sasuke blinked. Pondering at the blonde's statement. 'What did he mean by "you guys"?'_

"_Okay. Okay, I heard you. Come on out guys! We've been busted!" Neji called. The door opened with a bang as Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Tenten, Kiba, Hinata, Sakura, Lee, and Shino and came crashing into the room._

"_Ha…mendokse"_

"_Ouch, Ino, your foot's in my face"_

"_Well you're elbowing me, Choji"_

"_Are you okay Hinata?"_

"_Umm."_

"_Hehehe…hai Sasuke-kun"_

"_Aaa…the marvel of youthful love"_

"…"

* * *

"Oh my gosh! EVERYONE was in on it!" Exclaimed Ino.

"I could just picture the amount of embarrassment that Naruto and Uchiha-san would have right now," Neji declared.

* * *

_A trickle of sweat dripped down Sasuke's cheek. Obviously they had been spying through the door all along. He was at a loss for words and settled with simply glaring at his friends._

"_What is the meaning of this?" He demanded._

_The room became somewhat noisy as everyone had something to say at the same time. Sasuke's eye twitched._

"_OUT!" he yelled at the group. All eyes stared back at him. More explanations came out of his friends' mouths in protest._

"_I SAID OUT!" With a death glare worthy of an Uchiha, the group rushed out, leaving the room empty except for him and his blonde dobe._

_Sasuke sighed in relief, at last, alone with his kitsune. His gazed back at the blonde who stared at him in silence._

"_Sasuke," A soft whisper of his name came out of those adoring lips. His heart blossomed with the warmth he felt for the blonde in front of him._

"_Naruto. I love you." He didn't care if he was wearing his heart on his sleeve. He didn't care if he looked like a fool saying it. He didn't care that his pride got shoved down the drain. All that he cared was what Naruto had to say, how Naruto felt towards him.

* * *

_

"AWWW! Sasuke admitted his love for Naruto!" The girls said with hearts in their eyes.

"Calm down, girls. This is just a story after all," Shikamaru said.

"But will Naruto return Sasuke's love?" Ten-Ten said with a hopeful look in her eye.

* * *

_The blonde leaned into Sasuke kissing him. "Sasuke. I love you too."_

"_What about…?"_

"_Neji?" The blonde kitsune gave him a foxy grin. "Really Sasuke. You should have figured it out by now. They were planning it all along."_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Naruto sighed. His beloved Sasuke could be so dense sometimes, especially when it came to love._

"_Neji and my relationship was just an act to make you jealous."_

"_What!"_

_Naruto gave a soft chuckle. A confused Sasuke was sometimes kind of cute.

* * *

_

"YAY! Naruto returned Sasuke's love!" The girls cheered.

"And I outsmarted the teme yet again!" Naruto cheered, getting him a glare from Sasuke.

* * *

_Naruto brought his face closer to Sasuke's, their noses touching._

"_I guess you're not that much of a genius as everyone keeps saying, right Uchiha?" Naruto laughed, smiling mischievously._

_Sasuke smirked at the joking statement his Naruto had made. He lips tugged into a lazy smile as he pushed his kitsune back on the bed and whispered into his ear._

"_Uzumaki Naruto, you won't be walking properly for a whole week once I'm done with you."

* * *

_

"Such a cute story!" All the girls sighed.

"And such great blackmail material," Neji said with a smirk.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Both Naruto and Sasuke roared at the same time, glad that the story was over.

"Look, there's one more chapter," Shikamaru said with a gleam in his eye. "Should we read it?"

As the others were debating on it, Naruto and Sasuke both had the same thought on their minds.

'_I knew that accident kiss in the Ninja school would come back to haunt me...'

* * *

_

Okay, that's my longest chapter yet! And right now, there is still one more chapter to this story. Do you guys want them to read it, or move on to something else? It's your call. Anyway, read and review. And Catch you next Continue! 


	6. Intermission 1: Sasuke sees the light

Yo, everybody! Here is the newest chapter! But just to let you know, this has nothing to do with the main story. I've decided to do Intermissions from now on after every few chapters, where one or more people will read oneshots. And this is the first one. Not my best chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!

Disclamier: And now I shall do my disclamier with help from the Spirit Squad! Give me an 'I!'

Spirit Squad: I!

Give me a 'Don't!'

Spirit Squad: Don't!

Give me a 'Own!'

Spirit Squad: Own!

Give me a 'Naruto!'

Spirit Squad: Naruto!

Put that together, what does that say!

Spirit Squad: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! WHOOHOOOO!

I also don't own the Spirit Squad. WWE does.

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Intermission: Sasuke sees the light

* * *

Sasuke had managed to convince Shikamaru to let him borrow the laptop. So right now, he was just looking for stories where he was featured killing Itachi. After a while, he came across one.

* * *

_All Roses Die_

_Itachi is dead. That's pretty much the whole of it. _

_

* * *

_Sasuke raised an eyebrow and clicked on the story. _

* * *

_

_When the sun sets, it still leaves beauty_

_Amidst the darkness, colors only lie asleep_

_And tomorrow comes_

_There is no ending_

_Life continues to be born and_

_Life continues to hope_

_All roses die_

_But new flower blossoms_

_Pain vanishes away with time

* * *

_

"This is an interesting poem," Sasuke thought. "Now, on to the part where I kill Itachi."

* * *

_It was all over._

_Blood seeped deep into the earth, embracing lives beneath it with pure loneliness. But its stain remained visible in his eyes; its metallic scent still lingered in the air surrounding him._

_His death was not a scene in a dramatic movie. There was nothing revealed. There was nothing said. The moment he harshly fell on the ground, spine loudly snapping, blood spilling from his mouth, and eyes repulsively wide open, he was dead. There was no director to cut the scene and, above all, there was no retake._

_Sasuke remained lying far beside the lifeless body of his brother; his eyes were dark and blank as he stared at his corpse. There was no doubt about it – it was not genjutsu, it was not an act, it was not a dream._

_Itachi was dead.

* * *

_

"Yes, I finally beat that bastard!" Sasuke cheered, doing a little dance since he was alone. He then began to read more of the story.

* * *

_Nobody spoke as he stared at the picture before him. Nobody even dared to think. Even the birds were silent, even the air failed to move._

_It was all over... The worse part, however, was he never expected it to be like this – he never expected to feel nothing.

* * *

_

"What? I'd feel joy after beating him at last!" Sasuke said. Though, he didn't sound too sure of himself.

* * *

"_Sasuke-kun," a girl whispered, breath fragile and restrained, and Sasuke was suddenly willing to listen for the first time in his life as an avenger. But she spoke no more. So Sasuke remained silent and watched._

_He watched the last drop of his brother's blood ugly traced the contour of his jaw. Surely, he thought, there still must be blood in Itachi's veins although it had ceased flowing. Surely, he continued, there still must be blood just cowering to fill his heart._

_He looked intently at his brother's chest, expecting to see it breathing once more, albeit difficult, and then he would have to stand again and prepare another attack or, most probably, be on guard. He waited. But Itachi remained still. Sasuke silently frowned and pulled himself up, his bleeding right arm still able to support his upper weight as he knelt on the ground._

"_Oi!" Sasuke called, his eyes suddenly bewildered. "Don't tell me you're down just like that."_

_He received no response.

* * *

_

"Something's fishy here," Sasuke said to himself. "There's no way that Itachi would die that easily."

* * *

_Sasuke smirked. "Trying to recover enough chakra, I see. That won't work. Stand up and fight like your proud self goddammit!"_

_Still, there was no response from Itachi. Instead, he heard a muffled sob and a troubled sigh behind him._

_His frown deepened, his eyes glaring, annoyed, unused for such disappointment. "Itachi!" he shouted._

"_Sasuke-kun," Sakura only managed to whisper in between her sobs, tears now flowing freely on her haggard face, weak hands trying to wipe them off but to no avail, as they never ceased to escape from her closed eyes._

_Sasuke wanted to laugh and kick his brother so that this whole act would end and they could resume their fighting. How could Itachi even think of fooling him? Did Itachi actually think he, Sasuke, would believe that his brother could be defeated?

* * *

_

"…That's a good point. Even if I got stronger, Itachi wouldn't go down just like that. He'd get up and keep fighting."

* * *

_But he could not even stand up. He couldn't seem to find the strength to do so for he was afraid… afraid to witness the truth._

"_Itachi…"_

"_Oi…"_

"_Oniisan(1)…"_

"_Oniisan!"_

"_Oi…"_

"_Oniisan…"_

_He had long prepared himself for his fight against the man who ripped his world apart. He trained himself so much, hated this man so much, and sacrificed so much. Now his effort proved fruitful – he finally completed his revenge, he proved himself true to his oath. Yet what had gone wrong?

* * *

_

"Yes… what did go wrong?" Sasuke said to himself as he thought about it.

* * *

_This was not what he imagined. He just wanted to fight him. Endlessly, he would strive to kill him. Endlessly…_

_It never crossed his mind before that he could actually win._

_He never wished for anything between them to end; after all, it was the only way to remember each other.

* * *

_

"…That's true… Itachi's dead… but now what?" Sasuke said in a soft voice.

* * *

"_Sasuke," the firm but gentle voice of his sensei called, "He's dead. It's all over."_

_Sasuke really wanted to laugh badly now and laugh he did, mockingly, adamant. "Oniisan! Cut the crap and stand up! We're not done yet!"_

"_Sasuke, he's dead," Kakashi once more announced._

"_Kakashi-sensei, please…" It was Sakura._

"_He doesn't look it but he's quite a good pretender. He actually made it look like he was not guilty of killing his best friend! You're not going to fool me again, Itachi-niisan!"

* * *

_

"Now I'm calling that bastard my brother again…?" Sasuke thought to himself.

* * *

"_Sasuke he's dead! Get a hold of yourself!"_

"_Shut up! He's not dead! Damn you, Itachi! Stand up right now or else you'd find yourself real dead!"_

"_Stop it, Sasuke! Itachi is dead! You've always wanted this now stand up and rejoice like a mad avenger!"_

"_Damn you! I could never defeat my brother! He's the strongest man ever alive! Damn you he's not dead!"_

"_Sasuke!"_

"_Go to hell! All of you! He's not dead dammit! Fuck you, Itachi! Cut the acting, dammit!"_

"_Sasuke!"_

"_He's not yet dead!"_

_And a punch connected._

_Silence once more engulfed them.

* * *

_

"…Would I really act like that if I DID beat Itachi…?" Sasuke said. He noticed that he was almost at the end.

* * *

_How many times did his teacher Kakashi remind him of the use of Chidori? Chidori was meant to protect. _

_He should never use it for revenge. Was he wrong for disobeying his teacher? Obviously. Why was he so insistent anyway?_

_If there's one person he should have obeyed, it was Kakashi. But he still followed his brother. He did what he was told. He continued running. He continued living. He continued hating his brother and dreaming for revenge. Itachi still owned him._

_Why couldn't he do things his own way? In the end, Itachi was still the winner._

"_Fuck you…"_

_His dream belonged in the past. Until now, it still does. And perhaps it will remain lying there forever.

* * *

_

"…" went Sasuke as he read the last line. "…This author… has a point. Even if I kill Itachi, it will be all for nothing if I did it HIS way. He would still win. And I'll be DAMMED before I let that happen. But what should I do…?"

After a while, a light bulb went over Sasuke's head.

"That's it!"

* * *

Later on… 

Itachi was seen heading for Konoha, wanting to pay his 'foolish little brother' a visit. He wanted to see if Sasuke had been consumed by the darkness at last.

But when he found Sasuke, he got the shock of his life.

Sasuke was wearing white robes.

All over his body.

"Ah, greetings, brother," Sasuke greeted Itachi as if he HADN'T murdered his entire clan. 'What brings you to these parts?"

"What are you doing, foolish little brother?" Itachi said, staring at the robes that Sasuke donned.

"If you must know, I've open my eyes, brother. I have seen the light! And it came in the form of a fanfiction. No longer will I do things by the way YOU want me to do them. I have decided to act good now! And I'm doing so by joining the Secret Order Of Monks," Sasuke finished.

Itachi stared at Sasuke like he had grown a second head.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for mediation rituals. May the grace of good be with you!" Sasuke departed.

Itachi just stood there, wondering how on earth Sasuke ended up like this.

* * *

And that ends my first Intermission! I hope it was okay! Anyway, R&R! And Catch you Next Continue! 


	7. Back to Nosy Shinobies!

Hey, everybody! I want to thank you all SO much for all the reviews that you have given me! I just hope that I can reach the great 100 soon! And now, here is the next chapter!

There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 7: Back to Nosy Shinobies!

After much discussion, the group had decided that Sasuke and Naruto had suffered enough, so they left the story, and clicked back on the first story they read. Nosy Shinobies.

"The last time we read this, Naruto, Neji, Sasuke, and myself, were about to go spying on the girls," Shikamaru reminded everyone. "So we are on Chapter 2 right now."

The rest nodded, and Shikamaru clicked on the next chapter.

* * *

"_Aaiiiiiieeeeeeeeee! Ino-pig! How dare you! You'll pay for that!" Sakura said with a mock glare as she splashed some water to Ino._

"_Forehead-girl! Take this! "Ino countered and splashed water right into her face. Then they both fell down and laughed.

* * *

_

"Wait a minute. Ino? And Sakura? Acting FRIENDLY?" Ten-Ten said in a disbelieving voice.

"It's not that big of a surprise, Ten-Ten. Sakura-chan and Ino were best friends before they began fighting over this teme here," Naruto said, pointing at Sasuke.

"STOP CALLING SASUKE-KUN A TEME, YOU BAKA!" Ino and Sakura shouted as they punched Naruto in the back of the head.

"OWWW!" Naruto shouted.

"Open mouth, insert foot," Neji said, smirking.

"Oh, shut up, fate-boy," Naruto grumbled, rubbing his head.

"Let's get back to the story…" Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

_Sakura and Ino had invited Hinata and Tenten for a picnic today. When Sakura found the perfect spot accompanied by a clear lake, she changed plans and told them to wear swimming outfits._

"_You, guys! Aren't you hungry? Let's go eat first. What did you bring for our snack anyway?" Tenten called to them as she got out of the water. She was wearing a brown two piece suit that Ino picked out for her at their shopping earlier._

_Meanwhile at the bushes, the four chuunin found comfortable places behind the bushes, near enough to see them clearly and hear the girls' conversations. They toned down their chakras so the girls won't be able to sense them._

_When Neji saw Tenten, a good amount of blood rushed up to his cheeks making him look like a tomato. There was also blood oozing from his nose that he quickly wiped which the other three noticed and it caused them to smirk widely.

* * *

_

"Some great ninja you are, Hyuuga. Getting a nosebleed just at the sight of a woman. And you call yourself a man," Sasuke smirked, earning a glare from Neji.

"Hey, I wasn't the one playing 'Hide the Tongue' with Naruto in the last story, Uchiha," Neji retorted, which got him a death glare from Sasuke and Naruto.

* * *

"_Ne, Neji, you like Tenten, don't you?" Naruto said as he raised his eyebrows at him as if daring him to deny it. Neji looked defiant though._

"_Whatever made you say that, Naruto?" Neji said flatly._

"_Well, the blush on your cheeks is enough proof to me," Naruto said with a huff._

"_I am not blushing, Naruto. You must be going blind," Neji replied calmly, trying to internally compose himself._

"_Hah! Nice comeback you got there! Even a blind can see that blush!" Naruto said._

"_The dobe's right Hyuuga. If that was not a blush, what do you call the red hue that appeared on your pale face the moment you saw Tenten? Do you have a terrible case of sunburn?" Sasuke said mockingly._

_Neji's face grew hot._

"_Mind your own business Uchiha." He said while glaring at him, still blushing._

_Sasuke just smirked at him, which made the Hyuuga even more pissed.

* * *

_

"And I get the best of the Hyuuga yet again," Sasuke smirked.

"Keep it up, 'Mr. Avenger.' Your turn will come up soon," Neji replied simply.

* * *

_Although before they could interrogate the shocked Hyuuga more (in which he is most thankful for), Hinata soon followed suit and came out of the water revealing her one-piece brown swimsuit that hugged the curves of her body perfectly, courtesy of Ino of course._

"_Eeew, Naruto, are you drooling? It's mixed with blood coming from your nose," Shikamaru pointed out to him, looking utterly disgusted._

"_Dobe," Sasuke said, revolted at Naruto's behavior._

"_Shut up, Teme!" Naruto spat angrily at him as he wiped his face with the back of his hand._

"_Oy, Naruto, don't drool over my cousin!" Neji spat at Naruto as he shifted his gaze from Tenten and turned to glare murderously at Naruto._

"_I am not!" Naruto said defiantly as he wiped the blood and drool from his face.

* * *

_

Hinata and Naruto were blushing a lot at reading that, while everyone else just howled with laughter.

"Man that was disgusting!" Ten-Ten said.

"So the dobe finally gets a clue. At least in this story," Sasuke said, smirking.

"Ha, Ha, HA. Very funny, you bastard," Naruto said, glaring at Sasuke.

* * *

"_Shush! They might hear us…" Shikamaru said as he tried to stop the two from their bickering._

_They all froze and held their breath as they heard Ino talk._

"_Hey, guys! Did you hear that?" she said suspiciously as she looked around as if trying to find something or rather someone. Finally her gaze landed on the bushes exactly where the four boys were hiding._

_Shikamaru immediately turned bright crimson at the sight of Ino in her hot blue two piece which also showed her great body._

"_It looks like everybody's caught Neji's bug." Sasuke said as the three glared at him hard.

* * *

_

"And, yet again, I am the greatest," Sasuke said, his smirk the smirkest that he ever smirked…smirk.

"I wouldn't say that, Uchiha. Keep reading," Neji said with a sadistic smirk of his own.

* * *

"_What's the matter Ino-pig?" Sakura asked with a hint of worry mixed with her voice as she too got out of the water._

_Sasuke's case was probably the worst. His face was the reddest color known to man and he had blood rushing from his face like a waterfall (not to mention drool) all because of seeing a certain pink-haired kunoichi in a red two piece bikini that showed all her curves in the right places._

"_Uchiha looks like you caught my bug, only yours is the worst." Neji said, obviously trying to get even at what he said to him earlier._

_Shikamaru and Naruto snickered._

'_Revenge is sweet…' Neji thought as he smirked inwardly seeing the flushed face of his rival, who turned to glare at him.

* * *

_

"Now who's the best, Uchiha?" Neji said as the rest of the people laughed out loud.

"I still am," Sasuke replied simply.

"Oh, and why is that?" Neji said, eyebrow raised.

"This story is false. Uchiha Sasuke NEVER blushes," Sasuke stated, which caused all the others to sweatdrop.

"…You just keep telling yourself that, Uchiha," Neji replied, turning back to the story.

* * *

"_You're going down, Hyuuga," He said in gritted teeth._

"_I'd like to see you try, Uchiha," He replied calmly, his glare matching Sasuke's._

_Shikamaru and Naruto stopped snickering as they sensed another fight initiating from the two. The last fight they had, both of them ended in the hospital, each badly beaten._

"_Guys, stop it. They might see or hear us." Naruto said worriedly as he imagined what would be left of them when Sakura learned that they have been spying on them, especially with Ino and Tenten there. And as for Hinata, you don't know what a quiet person can do when provoked._

_The mere thought sent shivers running up through his spine. Who knows when they will get out of the hospital after this?_

_He's too young to die. He has his dreams to fulfill after all.

* * *

_

"…Just so you know, I would have totally OWNED you, Hyuuga," Sasuke said.

"Yeah right, Uchiha. You would have been my bitch, and everyone knows it," Neji replied with a smirk, while Sasuke gave him a mega volt Death Glare.

* * *

"_I thought I heard something over there…" she said as she jerked her thumb towards the bush where the boys are hiding._

_They tensed at her words as sweat came trailing down their faces._

'_Oh, Kami! I knew it! Goodbye to my dreams of being the greatest hokage of Konoha.' Naruto thought dramatically._

'_Troublesome woman…..and a pretty one too.' Shikamaru thought as he blushed lightly._

'_It's the Uchiha's fault.' Neji thought._

'_It's the Hyuuga's fault.' Sasuke thought._

_Then, as if reading each other's thoughts, the two prodigies glared murderously at each other._

"_Uchiha…" Neji said glaring._

"_Hyuuga…" Sasuke said glaring._

_Shikamaru and Naruto just groaned.

* * *

_

"You know, you both are far too troublesome for your own good," Shikamaru said, turning to face Sasuke and Neji.

"Yeah! Don't you ever think about anything else besides kicking each other's asses?" Questioned Naruto.

"Of course we do. I dream of smiting my brother with a broom," Sasuke replied.

"And I dream of blowing up the Hyuuga main house, and making it look like an accident," Neji replied as well, getting huge sweatdrops all around. Especially from Hinata, who LIVES in the Main House.

"…Did I just say that out loud?" Neji questioned.

"Yes. Yes you did," Naruto replied.

"Let's get back to the story…" Shikamaru said.

* * *

_All of the girls focused their attention there._

"_Probably just my imagination, come on let's eat!" she continued._

"_Wow, Sakura! Did you made these chicken enchiladas? They're delicious!" Ino said after taking a bite of hers._

"_Thanks Ino-pig!" Sakura said while smiling happily._

"_You're welcome ….forehead-girl!" Ino replied._

_They all laughed._

_The boys all sighed, relieved they were not caught and hearing the laughter coming from_ _the girls.

* * *

_

"Please. Like I'd be scared of a couple of weak females," Sasuke scoffed.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?-!-?-!" All of the girls, even Hinata and Sakura shouted at Sasuke, glaring at him with fire in their eyes.

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he shrunk into his lap saying, "Meep…"

"I've said it before, I'll say it again. Open mouth, insert foot," Neji said, smirking even more.

* * *

_All of them were lost in their little worlds, watching the unknowing kunoichis._

_'Wow. I never knew Tenten had a great body. I mean when we spar, she only wears those Chinese tops and baggy shorts. Who would know she had a great body? I mean now that I know, I would be the sole survivor who would know. No one, as in NO ONE will see her in this state.'_

_Neji was snapped out of his little reverie as he heard something interesting in what Ino inquired at Tenten._

"_So, you're saying to us you have a secret crush?" Ino asked, obviously interested._

_Tenten just blushed and nodded timidly._

"_Who's he?" Sakura asked as she took a bit of her sandwich._

_Tenten's blush escalated to ten-folds._

"_Well, can you just describe him? Maybe we can guess." Hinata offered shyly._

"_Is he handsome?" Ino asked excitedly. Tenten nodded. Ino grinned._

_Neji frowned at the scene that was unfolding before him. Tenten has a CRUSH!_

'_What the hell?' he thought furiously thinking of creative ways to kill whoever Tenten has been crushing on.

* * *

_

"Jealous much?" Naruto said to Neji, raising an eyebrow.

"Naruto, we've been through this many, many times. IT'S JUST A STORY!" Neji said, loosing his temper.

* * *

"_Is he strong?" asked Sakura who was grinning broadly now. Tenten nodded again._

_All the girls giggled while Tenten just blushed harder._

"_Is he intelligent?" Hinata asked shyly in which Tenten agreed, again._

"_Wow, looks like you've got Mr. Perfect there Tenten-chan!" Ino said jokingly_

_Tenten just smiled at them._

'_I know…' she thought happily._

_Meanwhile at the boy's hiding place, Sasuke, Naruto and Shikamaru were witnessing the stages of how a Hyuuga gets jealous and what happens. Deciding by the fiery/jealous aura that the Hyuuga prodigy is emitting, this was probably the next-to-last stage of the stage since his face was also burning hot like an active volcano ready to erupt any moment._

_Neji DID NOT like, even a bit, at where their conversation was going._

_The three of them looked at each other and shrugged._

_Shikamaru thought it was best to take the matter into their hands…before it gets worse._

"_Um, Neji? Are you…alright?" Shikamaru asked him carefully._

_They were surprised when Neji looked at them with his byakugan activated._

_Neji, realizing that he has activated his byakugan, deactivated it._

_They all watched amusedly as the spidery veins around Neji's eyes disappeared._

'_So, this is what happens when the Hyuuga's provoked…interesting.' Sasuke thought as he smirked inwardly._

'_I never knew that a calm, cool and collected Hyuuga would end up like this! And they're just talking about Tenten's crush. Wonder how Sasuke will react when he's in Neji's place…' Naruto thought, thinking of ways to do a prank on Sasuke now he confirmed the Uchiha's soft spot for the girl._

'_Troublesome women…makes you jealous ending up in a wreck…' Shikamaru thought._

"_Sorry, I was just ….stressed out.' He said quietly as his gaze shifted to Tenten who was looking like a tomato now with the girls bombarding her with questions about her mysterious crush._

'_Yeah, right. Stressed out huh?' the boys all thought, unconvinced.

* * *

_

"You are SO jealous, Neji!" Naruto shouted out, while everyone else laughed at the blush he had on his face.

Neji couldn't do anything other then just glare at Naruto

_

* * *

_

"_Do we know him?" Neji heard his timid cousin ask Tenten._

_Tenten's face darkened considerably as she nodded meekly._

_Hearing this, Ino squeled excitedly._

_Neji's face darkened more._

"_So, who is it? Come on Tenten-chan don't be shy, it's just us here." Ino said encouragingly._

_The four shinobies smirked inwardly._

'_If only they knew….' They all thought._

"_Yeah, we won't tell others. Promise!" Sakura said, exchanging secret glances with Ino who smirked at her._

_The three girls all looked expectantly at Tenten, their picnic lay beside them forgotten._

"_Well, it's .." Tenten started as the three girls leaned on Tenten, excited to know who Tenten's crush was._

_Neji' heart pounded hard on his chest as he found himself holding his breath as they waited for Tenten to reveal her secret crush._

'_It's ……" she said awkwardly as the girls leaned again their faces almost touching Tenten's._

_Neji gulped nervously._

_He watched Tenten's lips parted as she said the dreaded answer._

"_It's ……Neji." Tenten said in a barely audible whisper but Neji heard it perfectly nonetheless._

_All the girls squealed and hugged Tenten congratulating her saying she'd chosen wisely while Tenten just smiled at them thankful for her friends support._

_Neji's eyes were round as he tried to process at what had just happened._

"_Woah! Neji, you're the man." Naruto said as he patted Neji hard on his back snapping the Hyuuga out of his thoughts._

_Naruto was congratulating him also Shikamaru and Sasuke was simply smirking.

* * *

_

"You can stop being jealous now, Neji. You got the girl!" Naruto cheered, while the girls had hearts in their eyes and the men snickered.

Neji was currently thinking about how he could blow up NARUTO'S house, and make it look like an accident.

* * *

_Neji would have laughed out loud at his mistake if he has no intention of keeping his reputation intact._

_HE was the one, whom Tenten referred to as handsome._

_HE was the one, whom Tenten had said strong,_

_HE was the one, whom Tenten believed to be intelligent._

_HE was the one SHE adored._

_As his gaze wandered over the chestnut-haired girl again, who was smiling happily talking to her friends; he thought life could never have been better._

_It brought a warm feeling in his heart, cloaking him in warmth.

* * *

_

"And that was a perfect, sappy ending for the Hyuuga," Sasuke said with a huge smirk.

Now Neji was thinking about how to blow up the UCHIHA'S house as well.

Three houses to blow up.

It was gonna be a LONG Sunday.

* * *

And that's the chapter! I hope you liked it, because I might not write for a while. If you want the reason why, then read the latest chapter of my other story, "Why Do You Treea Me Like A Hero." R&R! And as always, Catch you next Continue! 


	8. Nosy Shinobies!: Ino's change of Heart!

Yo, everybody! Sorry about the delay, but I got so caught up in reading the other fanfiction! Anyway, here is the next chapter! And at the end of it, see how you can vote for three different things!

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 9: Nosy Shinobies: Ino's Change of Heart. And theVoting begins!

While Neji was lost in the thoughts of seeing the Main House, Naruto's House, and the Uchiha's house all go down in flames, Shikamaru clicked to the next chapter of _Nosy Shinobies_.

"Ino's change of heart, huh?" Shikamaru said as he read the chapter title.

"This chapter must be about Ino confessing her love for YOU, Shika," Naruto said.

"How troublesome..." Shikamaru said.

One second later, he got bashed in the head by a very pissed-off looking Ino.

"ITAI! What was that for?" Shikamaru complained, rubbing his head.

"When I'm about to confess my love for you in a story, you don't just say, "How troublesome!" Ino shouted.

"Well, what DO you want me to say?"

"You should say something like, "This is great! I get to hook up with the hottest babe in Konoha in this story! I might as well enjoy it because I will NEVER get her in real life!" Ino said while striking a pose, which caused the others to sweatdrop.

"...How troublesome..." Shikamaru repeated.

"SHIKAMARU!-!-!" Ino shrieked.

"Let's get to the chapter before we have a murder on our hands," Sakura suggested.

* * *

_The afternoon sun shone high above the white puffy clouds hovering above Konoha. It was a particularly hot day, so the girls decided to take a dip in the lake again, leaving their half-eaten sandwiches lying on their tatami mat._

_As they played around, splashing water with each other, (still teasing Tenten about Neji who was laughing all the time while blushing madly) their conversation somehow drifted to Ino and Shikamaru whom she kept mentioning to them._

"_---and then he always calls me 'troublesome woman'! I mean can you imagine it? Also, he always watches those stupid clouds and never pays attention to his team, even to me! Arrrghh! I do not know what to do with him. People like him do not deserve to live. I ---"she ranted on and on until they couldn't understand her._

_They all sweat dropped.

* * *

_

"This author really caught Ino's banshee personality quite well," Naruto said, crossing his arms and nodding his head. 

"Indeed," The rest of the males agreed, doing the same thing.

"WHAT?-!-?-!" Ino roared, shooting them a death glare that would have made any lesser man run away screaming, "Mommy, help me! The Platinum Blond is going to eat me alive!-!"

The men just ignored her, which got her even more upset.

* * *

_Meanwhile, back in the boy's hiding space; Naruto was getting irritated at Ino's ranting._

"_Man, how can you stand her and her blabbering mouth?" he said as he covered his ears in vain because he could still hear her._

"_You might ask that very same question to us dobe, and as for the answer, we can't stand your annoying filthy, blabbering mouth," Sasuke said monotonously._

"_Why, you cold-hearted bastard! Who cares about your opinion anyway?" Naruto replied furiously as he glared at the raven-haired teammate._

"_It's not my opinion; it's the whole village's opinion. Dead-last." He said at the fuming blonde._

"_Egoistical, human ice-cube!"_

"_Filthy, annoying, loudmouthed, idiotic-moron."_

"_Cold-hearted bastard!"_

"_Dead-last!"

* * *

_

"So the great Uchiha is reduced to name calling. Pathetic," Neji commented. 

"Keep talking if you want a beating, Fate-boy," Sasuke replied coolly.

"Fat chance of that happing, Pretty-boy," Neji said.

"Pale eyed freak."

"Chicken-head."

"Mr. Personality."

"Teme."

"Chior Boy!"

"Worthless Avenger!"

The others sweatdropped as they turned away from the glaring prodigies and kept on reading.

* * *

'_Ah, it's too troublesome to see them fight, again because I'm obliged to stop them. 'Shikamaru thought as he finally spoke to them._

"_Okay, guys that's enough. We don't want to be caught now do we?" Shikamaru said as he tried to soothe the tension rising between them._

"_You know bastard, with all your 'I'm so cool and uncaring guy' attitude, Sakura's starting to change her mind about you. I mean, I don't blame her. You're not the only man alive on earth, especially in Konoha, where her fan boys are willing to bet their life just so she can be their girl." Naruto said with a huff knowing that he had hit a sensitive spot (aka) his weakness._

_Sasuke just had his head lowered, his raven bangs covering his eyes as he clenched his fists almost turning white._

'_Suits him right, that bastard! Took him long enough to realize his own feelings for Sakura-chan. Someday they'll be thanking me. Oh, I'm such a good best friend to both of them that it brings me to tears. Kakashi-sensei would be so proud he'd treat me to ramen.' Naruto thought, his cerulean eyes sparkling as he imagined himself eating a thousand ramen courtesy of Kakashi and Sasuke thanking him repeatedly apparently unaware of the deadly aura a certain raven-haired is emitting._

_Neji, sensing the dark aura was snapped into reality as he shifted his gaze from Tenten to his rival only to be met with a vermillion pair of eyes._

_Swirling commas was found in his eyes as he glared intensely at the cowering Naruto who had just noticed his teammates' aura._

"_Shut up dobe. You don't know what you are talking about….." he said his eyes pure of murder intent as he gritted his teeth._

"_Uchiha, calm down. You don't have to believe everything the idiot says." Neji said calmly as he saw Sasuke's eyes on him slowly turning to its original onyx hue._

"_Hn." He replied seemingly calm on the outside but internally cursing every single thing about Naruto. He made a mental note to beat up Naruto real hard later.

* * *

_

"Neji just saved your ass, Naruto," Sakura commented. 

"As if! I would have beaten the teme down easily!" Naruto replied.

"Just keep living in your dream world, dobe," Sasuke said simply.

"What was that, you bastard?-!" Naruto shouted!

"You heard me. Or are you dumb _and_ deaf?" Sasuke said with that famous Uchiha smirk.

"**THAT'S IT!"** Naruto roared, tackling Sasuke to the ground, where they vanished into a white cloud, various body parts showing up randomly as they kicked the crap out of each other.

"Catfight!" Neji said, laughing his ass off in a very OOC manner.

The rest sweatdropped yet again, and turned back to the story.

* * *

'_Stupid Naruto. He knew that Sasuke had a certain weakness for that girl and yet he teased him about it. Although his eyes returned to normal, I could still see that will to actually murder Naruto. Don't worry Naruto, I'll always bring flowers and give respect to your grave.' Shikamaru thought._

_As Kakashi steeped into a certain area where he was supposed to meet the four chuunins, he wondered if they were getting back on him for being late on their previous meetings seeing that they weren't here yet._

_He scratched the back of his head as he looked around._

'_Perhaps, they're hiding here somewhere…'_

_Although all he saw was big tees, the biggest was an old cherry blossom one, birds chirping and flying around._

'_Okay…maybe not,' He thought as he didn't sense the four chuunins around._

'_Now, where could they be?' he thought as he thought Naruto would probably be eating at Ichiraku while Shikamaru would be watching the sky somewhere in the forest, though as much as he think, he couldn't comprehend on where Sasuke and Neji would be. He knows Neji follows the orders given to him – whether he liked them or not – and Sasuke too._

_Giving up, he hopped to a tree branch as he reached for his beloved book to read._

_He decided he would just add some spice on their training when they arrive for being late._

"_Ah, they'll come sooner or later; the best thing to do now is to get some reading done." He said to himself as he settled down and read._

_A perversely giggle can be heard ringing through the forest's trees.

* * *

_

"…You know, I can see Kakashi-sensei doing something like that. Punishing us for being late, when HE was the late one in the first place!" Naruto shouted, having a large lump over his right eye due to the 'Catfight', as Neji called it, between him and Sasuke. 

'_---and you know the other day he called me troublesome woman AGAIN then I got so mad that I beheaded all flowers in our shop and daddy was so angry especially mommy because it's bad for our business but WHO CAN YOU BLAME? Shikamaru of course! It's entirely HIS fault because if he had not called me an annoying troublesome woman this would not happen. Besides ---"Ino ranted, on and on until all of the girls are giving her weird looks which she didn't notice._

_Meanwhile at the bushes, Shikamaru is trying to hold Naruto down who was so irritated he almost revealed their hiding place as he wanted to put a packaging tape on Ino's rambling mouth._

_When he heard his part about the beheaded plants, he sighed heavily._

'_I can't believe she sill blames me on that one.' He thought quite irritated._

_He just concentrated on his task at hand, convincing Naruto to shut up.

* * *

_

"Good luck. Trying to get Naruto to shut up is like trying to stop him from eating Ramen. IM-POSS-I-BLE," Sakura snorted. 

"Hey!" Naruto shouted out indignantly.

* * *

_Shikamaru, of course was the one obliged to stop him since Neji, apparently still dazed about what Tenten had said about him, his gaze never leaving her while Sasuke just sat there, eye brows furrowed, obviously in deep thought not to mention he was still angry about what Naruto had said earlier._

"_Oy, Naruto. Stop it already. We're going to be good as dead if you reveal our hiding place to us. They'll think we're perverts spying on them." Shikamaru tried to convince Naruto who was still struggling against his grasp._

_In all the struggling and more convincing, Naruto accidentally stepped on a twig, causing the small but noticeable snap in their direction._

_The girls stopped talking or rather stopped listening to Ino's ramblings. Ino stopped as well as she turned her head in the bushes._

_Neji was snapped out of his daydream as Sasuke was with his deep thinking._

"_No matter what happens, don't move." Shikamaru mouthed to them._

"_What was that?" Sakura asked as she eyed the certain part of the bushes where the boys were hiding._

_The boys' back stiffened while Sasuke blushed._

'_Why do I always have to blush when she looks at me? I mean she doesn't even looked at me, she doesn't know I'm here anyway.' he asked himself._

"_It may be perverts…." Hinata said weakly._

_Tenten instinctively reached for a kunai._

_The other girls followed suit._

_Shikamaru's face was trickling with cold sweat, one of those rare times you would see him so. Even in missions he was always as laid back as possible, being a genius as he was though probably except when his friends are in danger._

_But now, how knew his mind won't be able to help him. No matter how many times he tried tot think of an escape plan, he fails miserably as a certain platinum gold haired woman appeared_

'_I always knew women are troublesome…' he thought._

"_Ne, Hinata-chan, can you use your byakugan to see what's behind those bushes." Tenten asked the shy girl.

* * *

_

"You guys are so busted!" Tenten exclaimed. 

"I don't think so. If we got caught, then the story would end, and there are still some chapters left after this," Neji replied smugly, which got him an irritated look from Tenten.

* * *

_All the boys are now sweating madly as Naruto whispered to Shikamaru frantically, "You're the genius here, think of something."_

"_Damn, Hyuuga, you're girlfriend's real nice." Sasuke said sarcastically as the pearl-eyed genius glared at him._

"_It wasn't her fault; it's this clumsy idiot's fault." Neji replied to him._

"_Okay "Hinata agreed._

'_Oh kami spare me from them! I still want to be the greatest Hokage!'_

"_Bya -- "_

'_Remind me to kill the dobe after this mess. It was his stupid idea after all!'_

"_ku –"_

'_And they call me genius? What a troublesome life I have.'_

"—_gan."_

_All of them watched nervously as spidery veins appeared around Hinata's eyes as she searched the entire surroundings with her byakugan activated._

_What the three boys didn't know is that Neji has performed a series of hand seals as Hinata activated her byakugan._

"_There's no one in there." Hinata said as she finished searching, the spidery veins slowly disappearing reveling her pearly white eyes._

_The girls sighed in relief as they began talking again.

* * *

_

"See? I told you, Tenten. And this time, I saved EVERYONE'S asses," Neji said with his conceited little smirk, while all the boys (and Tenten) glared at him.

* * *

_Meanwhile, all the boys' mouth are hanging open as they dropped on the forest floor while Neji wore triumphant smirk on his lips._

"_How did we get past a byakugan is beyond me." Naruto said stunned._

'_For once, I agree with the dobe." Sasuke agreed which made Naruto grin widely._

"_Glad to have some sense plastered in you face bastard!" Naruto said happily._

"_Hn. Don't flatter yourself too much."_

"_Me either, unless it was a jutsu or something though I've never heard of one before." Shikamaru stated._

"_Of course it was a jutsu I had recently made. It was still experimental though so I kept it to myself at first." Neji said proudly._

"_Not bad, Hyuuga." Sasuke said smirking._

"_Whoa! Neji that was so cool! You're my hero!" said Naruto jokingly as he batted his eyelashes at him ready to hug him._

_Neji looked rather horrified by the act.

* * *

_

"I think that ANYONE would be horrified by that act. Except for Hinata," Sasuke said, showing no bruises from the so called Catfight between him and Naruto. Because Sasuke is just cool like that. 

"Bastard," Naruto muttered, glaring a hole through Sasuke.

Hinata just turned bright red at the statement.

* * *

_Suddenly, Naruto burst out laughing._

"_You're face was priceless Neji." He said in between of laughter._

_What was worst was Neji saw Sasuke smirking at him._

"_Shut up you idiot. They'll hear us!" Neji spat at him angrily._

_However, Naruto still laughed quietly, which irritated the Hyuuga more.

* * *

_

"I outsmarted you again, Neji!" Naruto laughed, holding up his hands in a victory sign. 

"You won't be laughing when I Jukkyen (Spelling?) your ass to the moon!" Neji replied.

"Have we forgotten about the Chuunin Exam already, Neji-_chan_?" Naruto taunted him, still laughing.

"He's got a point, Hyuuga. The last time you tried that, Naruto just kicked your ass with one punch from what I heard," Sasuke said, smirking.

"He just got lucky, that's all!" Neji replied, growling.

"You just keep telling yourself that, Hyuuga-bozu (squirt)," Sasuke replied with the same smirk.

* * *

"_I think Ino-pig's in love." Sakura stated, which made Ino froze._

_This caught Shikamaru's full attention as he looked at Ino who was sanding nervously in front of Sakura._

"_W-what a-re you talking about forehead-girl?" Ino sputtered, nervously trying to be braver than she felt as she saw Sakura's lips curved into a smirk._

"_Well it seems to me that the center of your attention isn't Sasuke anymore but a certain young man who always calls you "troublesome woman" rather frequently." Sakura said, her smirk growing bigger._

_At this, Sasuke was suddenly saddened as the words of Naruto earlier rang through his ears tormenting his mind._

_You know bastard with all your 'I'm so cool and uncaring guy' attitude, Sakura's starting to change her mind about you. I mean, I don't blame her. You're not the only man alive on earth especially in Konoha, where her fan boys are willing to bet their life just so as she can be their girl._

…_.Sasuke……_

'_No more the affectionate –kun huh?' he thought as he tried to push the rejected feeling that engulfed his heart making it fell heavy.

* * *

_

"Like I would be saddened by Sakura, of all people, not liking me anymore. It would be a blessing," Sasuke said, not really meaning it, but wanting to save face. 

Nobody noticed the hurt look in Sakura's face, but she got rid of it quickly.

Inner Sakura, on the other hand, was swearing up a storm, screaming about if Sasuke wasn't so damn hot, she'd cook his ass slowly over a roaring fire.

* * *

"_Wait, Sakura-chan, did I just hear you say Sasuke? Tenten asked shocked._

_Sakura furrowed her pink eyebrows at her as she turned to her obviously confused._

"_Yeah, why? What's wrong with that?" Sakura asked her friend._

"_Well, I didn't know you actually gave up on Sasuke, I mean I've heard rumors from his fan girls of course though I didn't believe them at first." Tenten replied._

_Sasuke's mood even darkened as he heard this._

"_That's beside the point. We're talking about Ino-pg here." Sakura said with the let's-drop-the-topic-now tone. Tenten immediately got it and asked no more._

"_Sasuke-kun is still the center of my affection forehead-girl." Ino said though Sakura looked unconvinced._

_At this Shikamaru saddened._

'_So, still the Uchiha huh? Wonder what the girls see in him. How troublesome…' Shikamaru thought._

"_You're lying. It's written in your face Ino-pig." Sakura said as the blonde girl flushed._

"_Did not."_

"_Did too."_

"_Did not."_

"_Did too."_

"_Did not."_

"_Did too."_

"_Okay, guys you can stop now." Tenten said to the two girls currently glaring at each other._

"_Whatever Ino-pig I still think you have got a big crush on Shikamaru." Sakura said with an "hmph"._

"_Speaking of Shikamaru, what were you doing with him the other day? I saw you two walking towards his house." Hinata asked Sakura._

"_Well ---"Sakura tried to explain but Ino suddenly lunged at her while yelling as the other two girls gasped and tried to stop them._

_Meanwhile Sasuke was holding Shikamaru by the collar of his shirt as his eyes turned blood red, glaring at him as his grip tightened on his shirt._

"_H-hey, let me explain first. Hey!" Shikamaru said as he tried to shove Sasuke away._

"_What were you doing with her?" Sasuke said his voice filled with mixed emotions though the jealousy clearly stands out.

* * *

_

"Great! It's going to be a Catfight four-way!" Neji said in glee, laughing again. 

"What is it with you and Catfights?" Shikamaru said, turning away from the computer to look at Neji.

"None of your business!" Neji snapped, then went back to laughing, causing the others to sweatdrop.

"…Ooookayyyyy…" Shikamaru said slowly, turning back to the computer.

* * *

"_We were just going to play board games like we used to." Shikamaru said while Sasuke looked at him narrowing his gaze, apparently not satisfied enough with his answer._

"_What do you mean 'like we used to'?" he asked highly suspicious forming a strong sense of dislike towards the boy._

"_Come off it Uchiha. You can't tie Sakura at her house now can you? You're not even her boyfriend so you have no right to pounce on every boy that has been with her. I even saw her practicing taijutsu with Lee and she even asked me to teach her on some ninjutsu. She has a life you know…and it doesn't revolve around you anymore" Neji said as he saw Sasuke turn his gaze on him letting go of Shikamaru._

_Those words hit him hard as his world practically crumbled._

'_She has a life you know…and it doesn't revolve around you anymore…'_

"_Why would she ask you?" he said glaring at the brown-haired lad as he tried to shove in a box whatever was he feeling at that moment. He decided he would deal with them later._

_Neji smirked, "She has gotten around lately now that she's given up on you and had some true friends of her own who are sensitive to her feelings."_

'_She has gotten around lately now that she's given up on you and had some true friends of her own who are sensitive to her feelings.'_

_Suddenly, for the first time in his life, Sasuke felt left out._

_It was quite strange to Sasuke especially since he doesn't mind being alone for how many years now, preferring to stay and train while others go out and have fun._

_He didn't know that word 'fun' nor does it matter to him then._

"_You also know that she can't ask you because, come on, you always reject her." Naruto piped up which made him more miserable._

'_...you always reject her.'_

'_Perhaps I've been too locked up in the mansion to notice that everything's changed ….even her.' He thought as he looked at the girls who were still trying to pry Ino from the annoyed Sakura.

* * *

_

"Damn, you've got it **BAD** for Sakura-chan in this story, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto shouted out. 

"Don't forget that this is still a **STORY**, dobe," Sasuke replied simply.

* * *

_He still remembered the times that she and Naruto would barge in on his mansion and try to drag him out of it and he would push them out as he tried to push the dejected face yet again of Sakura whenever he drove them away._

_He momentary wondered if it's still not too late to patch things up._

"_Let go Ino-pig! We were just going to play some board games. You know that!" She said, annoyed._

_Ino suddenly stopped struggling against Tenten's grasp as she finally let her go_

"_Sorry." Ino weakly muttered._

"_Anyway, I thought you don't like him!" Sakura said finally composing herself as she interrogated Ino once more._

"_Well, I --- Uhrmm ---- you see ----"she stuttered as if finding the right words to say._

_The three girls just stood there waiting patiently for Ino to spill out what she really wanted to say._

"_Well…" Tenten said encouraging Ino to continue._

"_I-I like Shikamaru." Ino whispered into thin air._

"_What? We didn't hear you1" Sakura said as she tried to make out the words that barely escaped Ino's pink lips._

_Ino tried to squeak it out again but in vain._

"_Huh?" Tenten said as she asked for her to repeat it again._

_Ino was stating to get furious now as she repeated it now, quite loud._

"_Sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Hinata remarked shyly as she beckoned for Ino to repeat it again._

_A big, fat vein appeared on her forehead as she repeated it again._

"_HUH?" They all said, confusion written on their faces._

_Ino finally snapped as she shouted all her might._

"_I LIKE SHIKAMARU GOD DAMMIT!" her face all red from embarrassment or from shouting, they couldn't tell._

_Even Shikamaru couldn't believe it. Perhaps his ears were deceiving him? Or it was just an Ino clone standing there, apparently confessing her love to him in front of her girlfriends?_

"_Wow. Do you think she's gone crazy?" Naruto asked, which Shikamaru chose not to answer as he watched Ino stand there, red faced.

* * *

_

"The truth is finally revealed!" Tenten declared. 

"Tenten. Three words. Just. A. **STORY.** Everyone knows that my true love is Sasuke-kun!" Ino exclaimed.

"Ino-pig, just because you say that over and over to help you sleep at night, doesn't mean it's true," Sakura replied.

"What was that, Forehead-girl?-!" Ino shouted.

"You heard me you porker!" Sakura shouted back.

"Billboard Brow!" Ino growled.

"Fat little Piggy!" Sakura growled back.

It wasn't too long before Sakura and Ino were in the same cloud that Naruto and Sasuke had been in.

"CATFIGHT!" Neji said, laughing even laugher than he did before.

"Dude, stop shouting that. You are creeping me out. Seriously," Naruto said, scooting away from Neji.

The rest (even Hinata) rolled their eyes at the stupidity, and went back to the story.

* * *

_As Sakura opened her mouth to say something, Ino went like "AND DON"T YOU DARE TELL ME TO REPEAT IT AGAIN! I AM SO SICK OF YOU THREE ASKING ME TO REPEAT IT ALL THE TIME!"_

"_Sorry but we just want to confirm if we heard it right. After all you just denied a while ago about this one, so it's pretty hard to believe you're not into Sasuke anymore," Sakura said sensibly before Ino could stop her._

"_Wow. It is Ino!" Shikamaru muttered under his breath._

"_What?" Naruto asked him as he shook his head at him._

"_Well, I know it is sudden but I've given up on Sasuke a long time ago, I just wanted to tease forehead-girl about it." She confessed to them as they all fell anime-style._

"_What a very sensible reason!" Sakura said as they recovered from their fall._

"_Well, that's nice to hear Ino-chan." Hinata said softly as Ino returned it with a sincere smile._

"_Thanks guys!" she said as she lunged at them for a group hug and whispered something the boys couldn't make out._

"_Ch. Girls" Neji muttered._

"_Yeah, they always manage to talk so soft that even our trained ears can't hear. How do they do that?" Naruto wondered as he put a finger on his chin actually thinking._

"_Cheesy." Sasuke muttered._

_Though as Neji and Sasuke watched the girls muttering to them selves and Naruto wondered about how girls always manages to speak so soft, something in what Ino said to the girls made Shikamaru smirk._

_Although he didn't hear what she said he could make it out as her lips move._

_And it said "I love the way when he says I'm troublesome."

* * *

_

"And that ends yet another chapter! But I think I want to see another type of story now. We could always come back to this one later," Tenten said. 

"Yeah, you've got a point. Shall we have a vote on it?" Shikamaru said.

"Before we do that, I need to go to the bathroom," Sasuke said.

"Fine, but hurry up, teme," Naruto said.

And with that, Sasuke went up, and left the room.

And soon after that, everybody heard a High Pitched Girly-Scream come from outside of the room.

While everybody else was wondering what the hell that scream was, Naruto had a big smirk on his face that would have Neji and Sasuke to shame.

'_Delayed Chakra punch,' _He thought, mentally laughing inside his head. '_Next time, you might want to wear a cup, Sasuke-teme."

* * *

And that ends yet another chapter! And now begins my favorite part of the story! THE VOTE CORNER! This is where you vote for your favorite person in the story, who you think has the funniest reactions, and what type of story the guys and girls will read next when I have them finish another story! Here are the choices this time around! _

1: A fic where they find out Naruto is the Kyuubi!

2: A fic where Naruto is smarter than the people think, and just hides it!

3: A Team Seven fic!

4: A Neji-Centric fic!

And 5: A Dark Naruto Fic!

If you want your vote to count, you have to give me a discriptive review telling me what you like best, what you don't like, and how to improve if you think I need to. Please review and vote! And catch you next continue!


	9. Intermission 2: Hinata gets Naughty

Yo, everybody! I just wanted to say thank you for giving me so many reviews in only two days! As a reward, I wanted to give you the second Intermission! I hope you enjoy it!

**Warning! Warning! Warning!**

This chapter will feature Hinata reading a one-shot that has a lemon between her and Naruto, and there **_WILL _**be a Mini-masterbating scene. If you don't like stuff like this, then don't read any further. **_YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!_**

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Intermission #2: Hinata becomes Naughty

After Sasuke had finished reading his one-shot story, he decided to let Hinata have the computer for a while. Hinata was happy for this, because now she could read a romance story about her and her beloved Naruto-kun.

"Okay… choose romance… put Naruto's name and my name in… and press go," Hinata said to herself.

After she did, she was surprised to see Twenty-three pages of them as the Main Pairing. This made her very happy, as she thought that many of the people really wanted her and Naruto to get together in real life. (A.N: If only she saw the **Seventy-three** pages of Naruto and **Sasuke** together. Hee, Hee, Hee….)

Soon, Hinata got to a fic that caught her attention.

* * *

_Her Turn_

_Hinata has a little fun with Naruto. Dark one-shot.

* * *

_

Needless to say, the title, the summary, and the fact that the fic was rated **M**, really caught Hinata's curiosity. Before she knew what she was doing, she clicked the story and began to read it.

* * *

"_Errrrgh!" Naruto practiced his signing over and over. Exhausted, he rolled onto his bed to rest a moment. He lifted his sleepy eyelids to see the sun setting through his window. He felt darkness coming over him, buried his face in his pillow, and fell asleep._

"_Hey! Where do you think you're going with that! Get back here!" Naruto pulled himself up as he heard the yells outside. Feeling refreshed, he stood up to look out his window. It was dark out now; he must have slept for a couple hours._

_Naruto went to the bathroom to freshen up. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he headed for the door._

"_I wonder what's going on tonight?" he thought to himself._

_As he approached the door he heard a soft knock coming from the other side. "Hello?" Naruto moved closer to the door._

"_Naruto-kun..." As he slowly opened the door he met with a girl's white eyes.

* * *

_

"T-that must be m-me…" Hinata said to herself as she continued reading.

* * *

"_Hinata, what are you doing here?" Naruto fully opened the door to let her in. As Hinata slowly moved into the apartment she replied,_

"_I don't know, do you ever feel like there is nobody to talk to?" Hinata's gentle breath made Naruto feel at ease._

"_Is everything all right Hinata?" Naruto closed the door as he watched her move into the room. Hinata dropped a small bag she was carrying to the ground and lay down on Naruto's bed. Naruto was a bit shocked at her gesture, "Well she seems to be making herself comfortable," Naruto thought as he walked closer._

"_Naruto-kun, do you ever have fantasies about anyone?" Naruto, only half-paying attention up until this point was caught off-guard. Maybe there was another side to the sweet, innocent Hinata...

* * *

_

Hinata's face began to get really red as she read that part.

* * *

"_Come here," Hinata told Naruto, as she sat up and finally got to her feet. Almost in a trance of intrigue, Naruto came to Hinata without question. Hinata brought herself close to Naruto, and looked up into his eyes. Feeling her piercing gaze, it took a few moments for Naruto to feel her delicate fingers pulling down the zipper on his orange jacket. Her small hands pushed the jacket over his shoulders as he watched it fall to the floor._

_Naruto finished the job by taking off his black shirt. Hinata's eyes grew wider as she took in the toned muscle that came from years of training. Naruto could feel her cold fingertips against his chest, lightly raking her nails down his torso. Hinata shifted and Naruto could feel her slowly pushing him down to the bed.

* * *

_

Hinata was REALLY bushing a lot by now. _'A-are we going to do i-it?'_ she thought to herself.

* * *

_Hinata vanished for a moment into her small bag. She returned with four silk ties in her hands. She got on the bed and threw a leg on each side of Naruto, using her strong thigh muscles to squeeze each side of him, holding him in place._

"_Hinata..." Naruto reached up to touch her soft, inviting face. Hinata quickly grabbed his wrist in midair and slipped the silk tie around it with a pre-made knot. As Naruto's other hand went for his tied wrist, Hinata expertly bound both of the ties to the small wood bedposts. With one last jerk, Hinata pulled the two ties tight, spreading out Naruto's arms._

"_You never did answer my question," Hinata brought her head close to his, and grabbed a handful of his beautiful blonde hair. Pulling his head close, she nibbled on his ear, her soft breath teasing his senses.

* * *

_

Hinata was very close to having a nose bleed right about now. She found it hard to believe that she would EVER do anything like this to Naruto in real life. Yet… she found herself getting aroused by the idea.

* * *

"_Who do you fantasize about?" Her question was almost answered when she felt Naruto's arousal behind her. A sadistic smile crept across her face when she realized how much Naruto was enjoying this. Tying his ankles, she spread them apart and once again bound them to the bedposts. She slowly crawled back onto the bed, increasing the tension. Naruto's pants tightened with each moment._

_Hinata slipped her fingers across the waistline of his pants, making sure to grab his boxers. Watching Naruto look at her with pleasure, she pulled down Naruto's pants and boxers to his ankles. He shuddered in delight as the sharp cold air hit his exposed member, trying to bring his tightly bound legs together as a reflex._

_Naruto blushed as he watched Hinata finally take off her own jacket, revealing her beautiful breasts. "She didn't wear a bra, she probably planned this,"Naruto thought to himself as he squeezed his hands, trying to break free. He had never known what a perfect body she had. He wanted to reach out and caress it, at least touch it._

_Hinata could see his longing look, she felt so good to be wanted. She slowly brought her cold fingernails up Naruto's inner thigh, watching him moan in pleasure. She slowly wrapped her fingers around his member, and brought her head down, while pulling at him, smiling as he winced in pain. She ran her tongue up and down his length, kissing and biting_.

* * *

Hinata was very close to FAINTING after reading what she was doing to her Naruto-kun. She could pretty much see herself doing that stuff to him, and the idea was REALLY turning her on. Without knowing it, she moved her hand towards her slightly wet panties, and began to rub her womanhood through it, getting a few gasps out of herself.

* * *

"_Hinata!" Naruto tried to force himself deeper into her mouth, put her hands were pushing his hips into the bed. Naruto felt helpless, he was under her control. Hinata pulled down at her tight black pants, revealing lacy pink panties. Naruto smiled as she pulled them down her feminine legs. Now naked, Hinata once again got on top of Naruto. He looked at her perfectly trimmed mound, fantasizing about going into it.

* * *

_Hinata was getting more and more aroused as she read the story, slipping her hand into her panties and rubbing her clit, letting out soft moans and whispers of, "Naruto-kun…"

* * *

"_Who do you fantasize about Naruto?" Hinata reached to the small table next to the bed. She grabbed Naruto's forehead protector, letting the fabric tormentingly rub across his chest._

"_Well, I can see you aren't in the mood to talk, that's just fine." Hinata took the discarded pink panties and shoved them in Naruto's mouth. Making sure they were balled up properly, she tied the forehead protector over his mouth, making sure no noise could escape._

_Seductively, Hinata sucked on her finger. Slapping Naruto's inner thighs, she widened his legs for more access. She took a small bottle of lube from her bag and covered her fingers. She hoverer her finger at his opening, seeing the look of fear in his eyes._

"_Mrrph, Erphgh!" Small noises escaped through Naruto's gag. He began squirming, trying to escape. Hinata smiled at her handiwork, the bound, helpless, and humiliated blonde tied down before her._

_Her index finger slowly entered Naruto. His back arched up as a hiss of pain came through the gag. When the tension eased, she started pumping harder, widening him. She finally put a second finger in, enjoying the moans that came from him.

* * *

_

Hinata was moaning louder as she read each word, now sticking two of her fingers into her pussy and thrusting them back and forth inside of her, thinking of dominating Naruto.

* * *

_With a few more seconds of painful pleasure, Naruto let go. Hinata smiled as she reached for her tight black pants. They hugged against every curve, making her look more beautiful. She zipped up her jacket and grabbed her small bag. Slowly walking towards the window, she watched Naruto's response as she opened it. The cold air soon flooded in._

_Hinata looked down at the bound boy again, nibbling his ear._

"_I want you to think who you fantasize about." She stood up, turned off the light and left. Naruto looked around the dark room, feeling the cold torment his most sensitive area. He struggled against the expert knots, but to no use. Feeling like a toy, used and humiliated, his mind began to wander, fantasizing.

* * *

_

Hinata couldn't take anymore of her self-inflicted pleasure. With one last scream of, "Naruto-kun!", she climaxed, dousing her panties with her womanly juices. She fell on her back to the floor, panting and covered with sweat. 

As Hinata thought while getting her breath back, she realized that she LIKED the idea of doing kinky stuff like that with Naruto. Tying him up, torturing him, having her way with him…

As she began to go to the bathroom to take a shower, she had one thought on her mind.

'_Naruto-kun's birthday is tomorrow. And I think I just came up with the best present to give him…'

* * *

_

This is very different from my other chapters, and I was blushing so hard when I typed this down. But don't forget, since this is an Intermission chapter, it will not, I repeat, **WILL NOT**affect the main story. And here are the poll results so far!

* * *

Favorite person with funniest reactions: Neji 

A fic where Naruto is revealed as the vessel of the Kyuubi: 4 votes

A fic where Naruto is really smart but hides it: 6 votes

Team 7 fic: 2

Neji-Centric fic: 2

Dark Naruto fic: 5

* * *

So far, the 'Naruto is really smart but hides it' fic is winning, but only by one vote! Dark Naruto is right on its tail at second place; A fic where they find out Naruto is the Kyuubi Vessel is in third; and the Team 7 and Neji Fics are tied for fourth place! Don't forget, you can only vote **ONCE**. But there is still time for the people who haven't voted yet. I will declare the winner when I put up the next chapter! Keep voting, and Catch you next Continue! 


	10. Here Comes Dark Naruto!

Yo, everybody! I'm back! And the winner of the voting was Dark Naruto! So they shall be reading the fic, "The Broken Butterfly", written by T.N.K! Thanks for letting me use the story, T.N.K! And on another note, I just want you to know that the reactions I give to the people reading these stories are not my own thoughts on certin points in fanfiction. Just how I think THEY would react. Just wanted to make that clear. I would have put this up yesterday, but I got a big headache while I was writing. Anyway, here is the next chapter!

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 10: Here comes Dark Naruto!

After Sasuke came back from the bathroom, (glaring at Naruto for some reason) the Ninja began to vote.

"I still say that it should be a humor story!" Naruto said.

"Forget it, dobe. We've seen far too much happy stories already. We should take a look at a dark story now," replied Sasuke.

"I hate to admit it, but I agree with the Uchiha. We need to read something other than Humor and Romance," Neji said.

"They've got a point, Naruto. And besides, we can always read another funny story later," Shikamaru inputted.

Naruto was dismayed to see that even the girls had agreed with them.

"Fine, you win! This time," Naruto grumbled.

And with that, Shikamaru began to look for angst type stories. Soon, he found one that caught his interest.

* * *

_The Broken Butterfly_

_His dream, his love, and his heart, all gone in that fateful day. But from the remains of what used to be a warm and caring person rises a broken, yet dangerous and cold being of unmatched power. AU Dark Naruto! OOC Rated for language and violence.

* * *

_

The part that really caught everyone's interest were the words, DARK NARUTO. 

"Naruto? Dark? This I've got to see!" Sakura said.

"I agree. I just can't see Naruto in a Dark way at all," Tenten said.

Everybody else was agreeing with the two, while Naruto was thinking, '_Me? All dark and cold? Hmmm… I've always wondered what I would be like if I gave into the Village's hate and scorn…'_

"Naruto? Naruto!" Ino shouted, snapping Naruto out of his thoughts. "We're beginning to read the story!"

"Oh… Okay!" Naruto replied before turning to the Laptop screen.

* * *

_Konoha_

_Tuft, tuft, tuft, tuft…_

_The uniformal march of two black boots resounded clearly throughout the dusty, unkempt streets of the Hidden Leaf Village. The faces of the people around the area turned to the direction of where the sound originated, their facial features, slowly crinkling into disgust or cold hatred at the person innocently walking past them and unto the Hokage Tower._

_The young Jounin, a blonde male of Sixteen years old, donning a Void-Black Shirt with tears on the ends of the sleeves that reached near to the elbow, and lines all over the shirt that curiously looked like the markings found on every human being's skin, had his Hitai-ate wrapped snugly around his neck; Together with a pair of two leather gloves that cut from the base of the finger, he was also donning a pair of sleek, Pitch Black leather pants with a flame design of crimson and gold rising from the left ankle and unto the knee. He walked with eloquent grace, coldly ignoring the glares he received from the people and passerbies that met him on the road.

* * *

_

"T-That must be N-Naruto-kun. He's the only _M-Male _blond that we know," Hinata said timidly. 

"Yeah. Naruto seems like a bad-ass in this fic. At least he isn't wearing that stupid orange outfit," Ino said.

"Hey! I happen to LIKE orange, no matter how much of a target it makes me!" Naruto shouted out. "…But I do sound like a bad-ass, don't I?" he added with a big grin.

"Yeah. Too bad it'll NEVER happen in real life, dobe," Sasuke sneered, upset that they didn't pick a fic about HIM.

"Keep talking if you want another 'Chakra Delayed Punch,' Sasuke-teme," Naruto replied coolly.

* * *

_On his hand, being held on the neck of the scabbard was a normal looking Katana named 'Murasame' by the owner and was given to him by Jiraiya of the Sannin as a birthday gift during the pair's escapades in the time of their 2 year training. The sword itself may look normal, but the metal which the blade was made of is a special metal of foreign origin, one that was dubbed 'Titanium' for it's titan-like durability, was being suspiciously eyed by the ninja around him, fingering their kunai if ever the sword wielder would do anything sneaky to the civilians around him.

* * *

_"Since when did the dobe get a sword?" Sasuke questioned, getting more and more envious. 

"Since the author said so! Now shut up, Sasuke-bastard!" Naruto hissed at him, which caused Sasuke to glare at him.

* * *

"_**Tch, I honestly wonder why you do not follow what I would do if I was in your shoes, child." **A great voice growled from within his mind.

* * *

_ At that line, Naruto began to sweat with nervousness. Did this author know about the Kyuubi? 

"Huh? What's that, 'great voice' in Naruto's head supposed to be?" Shikamaru questioned.

"Ah, who knows? Probably something the author made up to make me seem like even more of a bad-ass!" Naruto replied hastily.

"I guess…" Shikamaru said, not really convinced.

* * *

'…' _The boy didn't respond, continuing his trek to the Hokage Tower._

"_**So pray tell, how does it feel working for that Uchiha brat now?"** The voice questioned, failing to hide his amusement._

'…_Shut up.' The boy mentally muttered coldly to his companion, who was now snickering with mirth at his reaction.

* * *

_

"**WHAT?-!** There is NO WAY that I'd work for Sasuke-teme of all people!" Naruto shouted. 

"Well, looks like you are in this story, dobe," Sasuke smirked, beginning to like the story now.

* * *

_Believe it or don't, a few days before from the present day was Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage's retirement day, and also the day that she elected the Rokudaime Hokage._

_At first, during that day, a man known as Uzumaki Naruto was literally destined to be that person who would claim that position inside the Hidden Village of the Leaves. He was immensely strong, loyal to the village, kind and fair to all around him, he never complained in his missions, knew a thousand Jutsu along with customized jutsu he had created himself, but most of all, he was the type who would die for the sake of protecting his people._

_He was a dream choice for the position of Rokudaime Hokage. He was truly everything that embodied being a true leader._

_But for the rest of the village and it's village council, he was one they would **never **pick even if the one choice they had would only be a missing nin from the likes of Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame, as he contained a beast of pure malevolence and evil that had assaulted and killed numerous Leaf shinobi in the past, the Kyuubi no Kitsune.

* * *

_

"What?-!" Everybody, other than Naruto, shouted. "Naruto has the Kyuubi inside him?-!" 

"THAT'S A LIE!" Naruto denied. "I do NOT have the Kyuubi in me! I mean, do you really expect a **DOBE** like me to posses something so powerful? Plus, like you always tell me, it's just a story!"

The others thought about this for a moment, and found that Naruto had a point. After all, the Fourth Hokage vanquished the Kyuubi a LONG time ago.

…Right?

* * *

_But being the so-called intelligent people they are, they wouldn't go to that type of a choice, right?_

_Uchiha Sasuke, a missing nin that ran away from the Hidden Village of the Leaves four years ago in search of power to kill his brother, in the form of surrendering himself to Orochimaru, another missing nin wanted for crimes against humanity, had finally made his grand return to the Hidden Leaf stating that he wished to atone for his crimes and become a shinobi of their ranks once more._

_Ping! Another candidate for Hokage._

_Naturally, the council forced Tsunade to surrender her position to the Uchiha prodigy instead of the Kyuubi child. But Tsunade, who cared deeply for the boy, refused and said something about her promise to Naruto that she would surrender her position to Naruto, and to him only.

* * *

_

"Damn straight!" Naruto exclaimed. "So how did Sasuke-teme, of all people, become Hokage in this story?-!" 

"Well, if you'd just shut up, Naruto, then we could find out," Shikamaru replied coolly.

Naruto glared at Shikamaru, but said nothing more.

* * *

_And the council, being the stubborn of fools they were born to be, threatened to banish Tsunade from the Leaf for something they referred to as… ah, who cares what they call it. The said they would banish her and send hunter-nins after her head 24/7 if she didn't comply with their rules._

_Simply put, that definitely put Tsunade back to her place, as she feared for her life above all else. Even with her skill as a Sannin, she could barely stand a chance against Konoha's top Hunter Nins, now that the next generation had finally reached the peak of their prime and joined the force.

* * *

_

"And there's your answer, Naruto" Shikamaru said. "The council threatened to kill Tsunade if she didn't make Sasuke the Hokage." 

"Well, that just sucks!" Naruto exclaimed. "If Tsunade had told me that in the story, I would have taken care of those bastards!"

"Maybe, but then it wouldn't be much of a story, baka," Neji replied.

* * *

_Flashback _

_The blonde jounin walked out of the Konoha plaza where the Ceremony of the naming of the Hokage had taken place, his shoulders slumped down as if he had just witnessed one's death or the sort._

_But this was somehow, a death of a person. Not physically, but rather emotionally._

_It was the day Naruto's heart, soul and mind was shattered into so many pieces, that it would be pretty much impossible to simply pick up the pieces and start all over again.

* * *

_

"So now we find out why Naruto is so Dark in this story!" Ino said. 

"I'll bet it has something to do with Sasuke, of all people, becoming Hokage," Tenten put in.

* * *

_And it was caused by this one simple statement by one blonde woman that goes by the name of Tsunade._

"_I nominate for position of Hokage… Uchiha Sasuke."_

_His feet had finally reached the outer reaches of the wildly cheering crowd, his hand wrapping tightly around a blue necklace that was given to him years ago by Tsunade._

_With a firm pull, he tore the thing away from his neck as if it had contained poison within it, and threw it to the ground with utter disgust and shear hate._

"I knew it!" Tenten said.

* * *

"Well, it was pretty obvious, Tenten," Neji said smugly, which earned him a glare from said girl, who cursed his smugness. 

"_Funnu no Hiraishin!(1)" Naruto growled out, instantaneously teleporting out of vision and unto the next building, leaving small traces of bright blue and white lightning bolts around the area his teleportation passed through._

_Nearby, a sobbing Tsunade, who was chasing after Naruto, had witnessed the whole ordeal, from the discarding of her most precious of gifts to him, to the performance of the jutsu that she thought only the Fourth Hokage could ever do. Naruto did notice her presence, but didn't give a flying f'ck as he had officially crossed that whore out of his 'precious persons' list.

* * *

_

"I would NEVER do that to baa-chan!" Naruto said. 

"I have to agree. Naruto wouldn't be THAT cold, no matter how angry he was," Sakura added.

"Well, in this story, he IS. And for some reason, the idea of Dark Naruto intrigues me," Neji said, his hand under his chin in a thinking pose.

* * *

"_Hehehehe…" _

'…_What's so funny?' Naruto questioned coldly to his tenant._

"_**Hahaha… The idiotic thing you did afterwards."** Kyuubi replied with a snicker._

'…'

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Flashback, Shortly after the Ceremony._

_(Jukebox: "I'm Still Here", Johnny Rezeznik)_

_Clagckak! _

_The loud clatter a bloody kunai had made echoed throughout the near-barren apartment, a shallow and ragged breathing of a seemingly dying man followed its echo, the sound becoming weaker and weaker at each passing second. _

_On a lump of rags and spring-filled cloth lay the paling body of Naruto, his wrists slit deeply with blood completing the horrifying mess building up on his bed._

'_It's… best this… way…'Naruto whispered out weakly, the darkness all around him overcoming his sight. Soon enough, his eyes fell to a full close, a grin adorning his flash white face._

_Little did he know that the grin would disappear the next morning, courtesy of a madly cackling nine-tailed youkai in his inner navel.

* * *

_

"I tried to KILL myself?-!" Naruto exclaimed. 

"By the looks of it, I'd say you did," Shikamaru said simply.

"I guess if your life long dream was taken from you just like that, you wouldn't want to live either," Sakura said.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_(Jukebox: "Sephiroth's Theme", Final Fantasy VII/ Advent Children Soundtrack.)_

_The morning light gently gave its shine to the desolate room of Uzumaki Naruto, and eventually, to his now colored body._

_His eyelids slowly opened as the light reached his closed eyes, finally opening themselves to a full brace. Standing up, he shuffled closer to the window and peered outside._

_It was still the same. Still the same Konoha, still the same Hell-on-Earth._

"_Wh-wha—"_

_He raised his wrists to his eye level, the cuts he made the day before, all gone and seemed as if he had done no such thing to them._

_The weight inside his stomach deepened and deepened itself at each heartbeat, his hands trembling lightly. Naruto made his way to the blood-encrusted Kunai beside his so-called 'bed' and began rapidly slashing on his wrists, blood mercilessly rushing out and splashing all over the concrete floor of his apartment. Faster than his own speed can follow, the cuts rejuvenated themselves and back to their normal state, the blood Naruto felt he had lost also being replaced exponentially._

"_Why…?" Naruto cried in a small whisper, blood covering his arms, but no pain was coming out. His eyes widened to a great degree as laughter filled his head._

"_What the…"_

"_**Hahahaha! You think you can die that easily?" **Kyuubi taunted._

'_Y-you! Why…?' _

"_**Are you stupid or something? Well, simply put. You die, I go with you. And I am sure I do not want to die, child."** Kyuubi responded icily._

'_You… You Sonova—!' Naruto began to slash at his wrists wildly once more, the laughter inside his head growing louder and louder at each slash he made._

"_**DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HURT YOURSELF THAT BADLY? THEN LET ME HELP YOU!" **Kyuubi roared while dark red chakra began leaking throughout Naruto's body.

* * *

_

'_Somehow, I think that the fox-bastard would do something like that. Not that I would EVER try to kill myself,' _Naruto thought.

* * *

_Before a single thought came into mind, searing and merciless pain erupted from every bit of fiber inside of Naruto's being, the feeling of life all over his body, now unfelt as he thrashed all around the apartment in a literal world of hurt as Kyuubi continued laughing maniacally inside of his mind._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_It seemed as if a whole eternity had passed before the mindless… torture had dissipated into complete nothingness. The odor of burnt flesh and dried blood surrounded the whole apartment like the black plague, refusing to let go of its hold on the place._

_Slowly, Naruto propped himself up sluggishly, every part of his body, mainly his torso, throbbed a never-aching residue of torment and unending heat desiring for moisture and coldness, while his legs continue their slow shuffle to the bathroom._

_He carelessly turned on the valve of the shower, not even bothering to remove his clothes and collapsed in a flopped heap on the moist and dank floor of the shower, cold droplets of water moistening Naruto's body, and lightly passing over the unnoticed black fabric clinging onto his body.(2)_

_He lay there, unmoving and without any of that enthusiastic energy he had before the Crowning. He blinked once, then twice. The third time, his eyes seemed to have become darker, as if his death of emotion had started manifesting itself in the outer world. _

_And he couldn't get any more right after that._

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

_(Jukebox: "Unforgiven" and "Outlaw Torn" By Metallica.)_

_Naruto continued walking on, the glares growing colder and colder by the minute, that walking in the Arctic in nothing but your birthday suit seems like a more hotter choice than being shot at with the villager's glares. But nothing inside the blonde Jounin seemed to care at all._

_His eyes wandered unhurriedly all over the small circles and crowds of villagers, all with a glare to accentuate their features or maybe even a few whispers in the background about gossip untrue of him. But what do they care, anyway? As long as it's against him, they'd believe anything._

_One glare after the other, his eyes widened a little in surprise at one person that wasn't glaring at him, or wishing a thousand deaths upon him._

_It was Hyuuga Hinata, her pale, Lavender eyes studying his own seemingly murky blue ones in meek fascination. And beside him was her cousin, Hyuuga Neji, eyeing him suspiciously, opposed to how Hinata was looking at him, yet he didn't really notice this as his mind was fully focused on the Hyuuga Heir._

'_Hinata…'

* * *

_

"You know, I have a feeling that something happened with Hinata as well, to make Naruto the way he is in the story," Sakura said. 

"Well, let's find out in this flashback," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_Flashback (Before Ceremony) _

_(Jukebox: "Open up your Mind" and "Alone", Gensomaden Saiyuki Soundtrack.)_

_The night-sky's stars glimmered all around the lightly illuminated streets of Konoha, where two figures, one that had his arm around the other, were walking in mutual silence. _

_A few moments have passed and the two arrived at the girl's home, specifically the Hyuuga Manor. She reluctantly pulled away from the male's arms, much to the male's confusion. _

"_Naruto-kun… I…" Hinata bit down her lip, her beautiful and saintly face filling with sorrow, that it nearly broke Naruto's heart._

"_Hinata-chan…" Naruto came closer to her slightly quivering form, to envelop her in his warm hugs that genuinely made Hinata feel safe from whatever the world can possibly throw at them. She pulled away hesitantly, tears starting to freefall on her cheeks._

"_I… I'm sorry Naruto-kun… But we cannot stay together anymore…" Hinata murmured in a bare whisper._

"_But…" Naruto reasoned, but Hinata spoke up first._

"_It is Father's command… I cannot disobey it." Hinata whispered, her voice cracking in her soft sobs._

_Naruto remained silent, his head bowed and his eyes hidden from view. Hinata tried to speak again, but the blonde cut her off, his eyes curved happily with his adoring smile back to his gentle face._

"_I… I understand." Naruto replied, flashing his true fox smile, and slowly walked out of the Hyuuga compound, leaving Hinata in her lonesome._

_If one looked close, you could see the crimson all around Naruto's eyes, and that his pupils have sharpened themselves into slits, accompanied by unshed tears._

"_I swear Hinata-chan, when I become Hokage… I will change the Hyuuga, for you and everyone else in the family…" Naruto vowed silently, now breaking his simple walk to a Funnu no Hiraishin, teleporting from one building to another._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

Hinata felt sad that she did what she did in the story, but reminded herself that she would NEVER do that in real life, no matter what her father said. 

"Damn… To vow that you would change the Hyuuga when you became Hokage… only to have Sasuke-kun steal it from right under your nose. Now I can see why Naruto would turn Dark in this story," Ino said.

"I'll say. Being torn away from your love, and losing your life-long dream will do that to a guy," Shikamaru stated.

* * *

_Naruto saw her eyes, full of regret and longing, peering closer to him as if she wished all time would stop and they would both stay at that exact moment their gaze met. Naruto, despite being now cold and merciless to all who oppose him, could never hate his precious people. And Hinata was as sure as hell in that list._

_In those rare moments, Naruto gave her a slight, near unnoticeable half smile, and immediately returned to his unemotional and heartless mask. Brushing past her, he continued his walk… and felt his shoulder being held roughly by a callous hand. He was whirled around and came face to face with a Hyuuga Neji, his seemingly effeminate face holding cold fury._

"_You touched her, didn't you Uzumaki?" Neji asked. Actually, more like demanded, his Byakugan activated and the veins beside his eyes pulsating and throbbing violently at the unfazed Naruto.

* * *

_

"Uh-oh. Something tells me that this won't end well," Tenten said.

* * *

_Naruto slightly raised a brow, and shortly returned to the scowl he had moments ago._

'_Jealous little lovesick prick.' Naruto thought disgustedly, the look on Neji's eyes was the same look that he had possessed when Naruto had caught him looking at Hinata and he when they were still dating together, the look of envy and loathing all rolled into one simple Byakugan glare. Most would probably soil themselves or maybe even fall unconscious at the Hyuuga prodigy's glare, but Naruto was not one with those kinds of cowards, and was simply put, immune to such a thing. He was pretty much used to it anyway._

"_Wouldn't you like to know?" Naruto muttered coldly, beginning to walk away from Neji._

"_You sonova… Answer my question!" Neji growled, grabbing his shoulder once more to whirl him into his direction.

* * *

_

"…Okay, now that is just wrong. Why would I be in love with Hinata-sama when one: she is my cousin, and two: I TRIED TO **KILL **HER DURING THE CHUUNIN EXAMS?-!" Neji shouted out in rage. 

"It's obvious that authors work in mysterious ways," Naruto said sagely.

"…Even so, it's still sick in my opinion," Neji replied.

* * *

_Beginning to become ticked off himself, Naruto, faster than the eye could ever see, withdrew Murasame from its sheath and allowed the blade to lightly touch Neji's chin. Hinata had arrived, just behind Neji, and froze at the sight of her cousin with a blade close enough to cut him clean of his head, knowing Naruto's swordsmanship skills._

"_I highly recommend against doing that again, Hyuuga. Because a third time might be your last." Naruto murmured calmly, yet his voice was dangerously at a point where it was causing a sudden sense of panic in not only in Neji, but also to the civilians who were starting to gather up, probably to watch the 'Kyuubi Brat' get his ass whipped or something._

_Turning his back and re-sheathing Murasame, Naruto began to walk once more, and internally sighed a second later as he sensed the all-too familiar chakra signature in the Jyuuken Neji was sending towards him, approaching his body fast._

_While it may seem to every one that Neji's Jyuuken punch looked like a blur, to Naruto, it looked like he was punching like an inexperienced little kid. Effortlessly, he jumped overhead over Hinata and Neji, landing gracefully behind the two with Murasame unsheathed on his hand._

_If one ever watched without blinking, all that you could have seen from Naruto's hands while he jumped were bright, metallic flashes._

_Naruto stood up from his crouching position, not even bothering to notice the frozen forms of the people around him, and calmly set the bloodless Murasame back into the scabbard. When the blade closed itself with a loud 'Tshack!' blood erupted from a deep slash starting from the beginning of Neji's hairline, and ending on his chin, spraying the nearby people with his precious 'Hyuuga Blood.'

* * *

_

"Damn! I kicked Neji's ass in such a bad-ass way! Like it was nothing!" Naruto said in awe. "I'm beginning to like this story!" 

"Please, Naruto. You can't even hold a sword properly. There is no way you'd be able to do that to me," Neji said smoothly.

"I am in this story!" Naruto said.

* * *

"_Aaughh!" The piercing cries of the whimpering and bleeding Hyuuga slightly amused Naruto as he continued his walk towards the Hokage Tower. Inside him, Kyuubi was congratulating his kit on a great job, well done._

_Hinata, who was tending to Neji's tears and pathetic whimpers, was visibly shaken at how Naruto had acted. Never had she seen him act in such a… brutal manner ever before. And it was definitely far from the ray of sunshine she had been together with a few weeks ago._

_She knew of his dream of being Hokage… and how Uchiha Sasuke stole that dream in one flash of a moment. Still, she wondered. Just how much did the pain of losing a lifetime desire affect him?

* * *

_

And that's the end of the first part! They'll read the second chapter next time. I don't think that my reactions were as good this time around, but I'll try to do them better next time. Catch you next Continue! 


	11. In Witch the Dark get Darker

Thanks for the reviews, everybody! I liked them so much, that for just this one time, I'm gonna respond to them before I start typing the next chapter!

* * *

**lackofname: **I'm glad you liked the chapter! And for the life of me, I can't really get behind Neji/Hina either. Here is the next update! 

**NarutosMego:** Thanks. I was hoping I could put in a good way they were reading the Fanfiction, while separating it from the main fic. Hope you like this chapter!

**Kar Blackheart:** I'll think about that. I've read the story too, and I really liked it. Here is your update!

**Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo: **Thanks for the praise! I'm glad you liked the choice and the reactions! They are much funnier this time around!

**blackXheart: **I know! Many people find Dark Naruto hot, don't they? Thanks for the review!

**rebel-girl: **That sounds like a good idea! I'll either try to put it in this story, or one of the sequels that I'll more than likely make. Thanks for the review!

**Megaolix:** But that's the point! Having people think he's a Dobe will throw them off his trail. Or, at least, I think so… Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

**the most OOC writer around:** I'm glad you liked it! Here is the next chapter!

**Lady Awesome: **Thanks for the great review! At first, I didn't really know about reading about a Dark Naruto fic, but when I read my first one, "Bloody Whiskers," I was _hooked_. And thanks for saying that this is one of the funniest stories that you've ever read!

**Light of the Demons: **I agree, it was very sad. And sorry, but T.N.K, in the story's second chapter, said that Naruto will not kill anyone in the Village. So unless someone else kills Sasuke, it won't happen. Nevertheless, I hope you continue to read this story! Thanks for the review!

**Arimi Kinamoto:** Thanks for the review!

**PurpleNek0: **You want more? You've got more! Thanks for the review!

**Bobboky:** I was thinking about that. I can just see the reactions to THAT! Thanks for the review!

**t0talpwnage:** I just look at the stories that I really like, pick one, and do it. Although from now on, I'm gonna ask people if I can use their stories. And at the end, I will thank all the authors. Thanks for the review!

**Meinos877:** Thanks! If I do put up a Harem or story where Naruto ends up with anybody other then Hinata, then I'll PM you! Although, I think the Naruto paring that is overused is Naru/Sasu. Thanks for the review!

**Ecchi-ANBU:** Don't worry; I'll stick with this one. Thanks for the review!

**Omniddesruction5678:** I was thinking about that. It'll more then likely be the next type of story that I have them read. Thanks for the review!

**T.N.K:** I'm so glad you liked it! And thanks so much for mentioning me in your latest chapter! I hope you like this next chapter!

**Silver Horror:** Thanks for the review!

**ravemastaj:** I've got to say, WOW. I love that you reviewed ALL of my chapters. Thanks to you alone, my review count went up by TEN! Thanks so much for that! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

**Coolio828:** Thanks for the review!

* * *

I think I'll only do this once, since I heard you can get banned for it. Thanks again, everyone! And here is the newest chapter of, "There's Fanfiction about us!"

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 11: In which the Dark get Darker...and the Funny get Funnier

* * *

"That was a real good chapter! I can't wait to see how much more of a badass I am in this chapter!" Naruto exclaimed, his ego growing to Sasuke-heights. 

"Whatever, dobe. Just don't forget that I'M the Hokage in this story," Sasuke replied with a smirk, which caused Naruto to fume.

"Okay, let's get reading already…" Neji said.

* * *

_Jukebox Selection: "Rise Up" by Disturbed; "Puke" by Eminem; "Suffer" by Staind; "Bleeding Me" By Metallica._

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_Hokage Tower…_

_Tguft!_

_The heavy thump of a boot sounded off all over the hall of the mission center and into the ears of the patrons handing out the missions for the day. Naruto looked around the table the mission dealers were doing their daily routine of handing out missions and the like, their eyes now fixed on him into a cold glare. Resisting the urge to shoot killer intent the size of the Great Flood, even if there are ANBU guards stationed just behind him eagerly fingering their little pea-sticks they refer to as swords in a chance to maim him and rid the world of Naruto's existence, he calmly suppressed the desire to do so and looked straight on for his missions._

_Ignoring the Dealers and the ANBU behind him, Naruto strolled to the particular spot the Hokage sits, except there was no Hokage there. Just a wrinkled lump of flesh being referred to as Utatane Koharu.

* * *

_

"UGH. That old hag of a woman. I never did like her," Naruto said. 

"Can you think of anyone who DID?" Neji replied.

"I'll tell you the answer to that. NO," Sakura said.

* * *

"…_Uzumaki Naruto reporting for duty." Naruto muttered emotionlessly, saluting Koharu half-heartedly, raising both a brow and a sword from Koharu and the ANBU respectively. Koharu shook her head slightly to the direction of the ANBU, telling them to stand down. They complied, albeit reluctantly, but still continued glaring at Naruto._

"_Great to see you, Uzumaki-san!" Koharu responded lively. Naruto tried his best not to cringe, as this old hag was one of the same with all the people around him that wants him more dead than dead could get. And add the fact that this was also one of the two that played a big part in destroying his dream; it was quite obvious she was playing a game with him._

'_Oh joy...' Naruto thought, having a lot of trouble in preventing himself from rolling his eyes.

* * *

_

"Don't you just want to KILL people like that? Or at least hurt them really badly?" Tenten said. 

"I know what you mean. I once thought that way of Hiashi-teme, before Hinata-chan changed my mind," Naruto said, not noticing Hinata blush wildly at being called Hinata-_chan_.

* * *

"_Where is Hokage-te…Sama?" Naruto hesitantly said the 'Sama' part. Koharu smiled wryly, obviously proud of herself that the Kyuubi-brat didn't get the Hokage position. She lightly pushed a brown Manila folder to Naruto's direction and gestured him to open it._

"_Sasuke-sama is… on a special diplomatic mission. He has left me in charge and requested you personally to do the mission inside that folder." Koharu replied, still smiling._

_Raising a brow of suspicion, Naruto opened the folder and took out the sheet of paper within, revealing an… interesting C-class Mission. It states that he must rid of bandits assaulting and mugging travelers at Rain Country's out of town forests and roads. Why it was interesting was that the roads shown in the map included in the mission folder was not used anymore, since better and more safer roads have been constructed over the past year, thus leading no more travelers into those roads. Naruto unconsciously thanked Jiraiya for explaining to him the geographical facts of the places they visited during the 2-year training time they had._

_Now the question was why the bandits would even bother doing their raiding and marauding in a deserted forest road where they can reap more goodies in those new and more populated roads?

* * *

_

"Can you say, "Set-up"? Shikamaru said. 

"It's so obvious," Neji agreed. "If Naruto is really skilled in this story, then why wouldn't the old bat send him on a very dangerous mission where he could get killed? She's just trying to trick him into thinking that this is a normal mission."

"I wouldn't be dumb enough to accept that kind of mission! Especially if it came from THAT old hag!" Naruto said.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, dobe. Remember the 'Chicken Incident?' Sasuke reminded him.

"Hey, I was young back then! How was I supposed to know that you had to WAIT for the chicken to lay the eggs?" Naruto retorted.

Sasuke snorted. "Even so, it was still dumb of you to try and get the eggs by shoving your arm right up the Chicken's…"

"MOVING ON!" Everybody else said, not wanting to remember that whole thing.

* * *

"_I'll take it." He muttered, turning his heel and walked out of the mission center. Behind him, Koharu is seen chuckling, but not for positive reasons, mind you._

"_A fool once, and still a fool he remains…" Koharu murmured quietly to herself, anxiously playing with her hands in hopes that the plan she and Homura cooked up will work without flaw against the would-be Hokage, and finally rid themselves of the Plague of the Kyuubi._

_Naruto heard this, no matter how quiet she said this because of the results from his intense training with Jiraiya and secretly grinned to himself, his mind as anxious and eager to get on with his mission as Koharu…_

_Because after he succeeds, his mind is literally dying to see how much shock the old walking antique would have on her face when she finds that her little plan backfired against her. Oh, sweet irony!_

'… _I can already tell…' Naruto thought to himself, the butterflies inside his stomach fluttering wildly like angry bees, a testament to the excitement his whole body is feeling at the possibility of a decent challenge. After all, he had not a fight worthy of his time for a long while already, as not even Jiraiya was able to defeat him in combat. During, and after their training.

* * *

_

"I outsmarted that old hag! I'm on a role in the Fanfiction world!" Naruto said happily. 

"Ah, shut up, dobe," Sasuke said with a glare.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-_chan_? Jealous?" Naruto taunted.

This time, it was _Sasuke _who tackled Naruto to the ground, where they disappeared into the cloud once again.

"CAT-"

"If you say "CATFIGHT" one more time, Neji, I will rip out your spine, and beat you to death with it," Tenten growled, giving him a death glare.

"Meep…" Neji squeaked, shrinking into his lap.

The rest rolled their eyes, and went back to the story.

* * *

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_Carriage traveling to Tanjaku Gai, the City of lights, gambling, and brothels. _

"_S-Sakura! I do not think it is time yet!" Sasuke, the Hokage of Konoha, and seen by the people as the most powerful of all the Shinobi of Konoha, stammered in panic at Haruno Sakura, A High Jounin, equivalent to the rank of ANBU Captain, who was sensually unzipping the pants under the panicking Hokage's robes._

"_Don't worry Sasuke-sama, I know the council will approve of this." Sakura cooed playfully, now pulling his pants down and revealing his briefs with the Uchiha clan symbol on it._

"_B-but!" Sasuke protested, his inner strength waning at Sakura's soft touches on his Sasuke Jr, which was now threatening to grow into Super Sasuke Sr. He really must scold Ibiki and Anko for giving her additional special training in the Seduction and Assassination division of the ANBU by the time they get back from Koharu and Homura's free and allowed vacation._

"_Ssshh… Just sit back and relax, Sasuke-sama… This wont hurt… too much." Sakura whispered gently, her mouth lowering down and down and down and down…_

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

Sakura was blushing hard at that part. Sasuke didn't notice this because he was too busy brawling with Naruto. 

"Damn, Sakura. You are such a slut in this story, huh?" Ino said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, PIG?-!" Sakura bellowed.

"YOU HEARD ME!" Ino roared back.

"RAAGHHHH!" Sakura shouted, tackling Ino to the ground, where they vanished in the same white cloud. Soon, the two fight clouds combined, and it was a free-for-all.

Neji couldn't contain his excitement any longer.

"CATFIGHT!" he shouted, laughing. But soon, he felt a massive Killing Intent behind him. He froze, and turned slowly to see Tenten glaring at him, cracking her knuckles.

"What did I just tell you?-!" She roared.

"EEEP!" Neji shrieked like a little girl. Tenten grabbed him by his expensive, flowing, and shiny hair, and threw him right into the middle of the Catfight free for all.

"How do you like Catfights NOW?-!" Tenten screamed, before going into an evil laugh.

Hinata and Shikamaru, the only SANE people left, went back to reading the story.

* * *

_Naruto _

_The minute he left the mission center, Naruto didn't bother going back to his house for any clothes or any article of clothing, as he had began hating the color orange and literally burned all of the offending material with a Grand Fireball. He neither packed any food, nor first aid kits for the like, as Kyuubi's chakra is enough for healing his wounds… And that food stands were present nearly at every place he went to. His wallet was sufficiently plump, and would be enough for a meal or two._

_He took a step forward and crouched low, readying to perform a Power Shunshin and run like hell towards his destination, but stopped on his tracks as he sensed a familiar chakra signature behind him. He instantly recognized who it was, and his teeth unconsciously gritted tightly to each other as he took off of Konoha's Gate in a blinding speed, not even acknowledging the approaching presence behind him._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Konoha's Gates, seconds after Naruto took off…_

"_W-wait!" Tsunade called out with her hand reaching out to the slowly dissipating form of Naruto, only mere seconds have passed and he was but only a dot in the Slug Sannin's eyes. Her eyes drooped in disappointment, her heart felt as if a weight had just dropped straight down onto it._

"_Naruto…" She whispered sadly, the small dot that represented Naruto, already gone. She gradually turned her foot and shuffled away from the Gate, hoping that she may have another chance to talk to him some other time._

_If that was even possible.

* * *

_

"Na-Naruto-kun is so c-cold in this s-s-story…" Hinata said softly. 

"But you know I would never do that in real life, right, Hinata-chan?" Naruto, coming from out of nowhere, said.

"EEEEEEKKK!-!-!" Hinata screamed in fright at Naruto just popping up out of nowhere. When she saw who it was, she blushed deeply at her sillyness. "Go-Gomen, Naruto-kun. I-I know that you would n-never be like that in real life," Hinata said, poking her two index fingers together in a nervous gesture. (A.N: That is just so cute!)

"It's okay, Hinata-chan. After all, it's just a story!" Naruto replied, giving off a big fox grin, which made Hinata blush even more.

* * *

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_Naruto, an hour of running later…_

_One of the most conventional and useful of habits that Naruto had developed when he was training with the frog sennin, and with Rock Lee after his return to Konoha, was the ability to run automatically while his mind and eyes slept, giving him a rare moment of peace and at the same time, getting him to his desired destination as he dozed off._

_But sometimes, not even the solace of your mind can keep you safe from the hatred of the world._

_Dream… _

_Darkness… Every corner inside Naruto's mind was shrouded in complete darkness… The never ending, murky color of ebony and the intangible color that simply exists when you close your eyes…_

_That was all he was seeing._

_He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound had came._

_He tried again, this time, in a furious scream that rattled his voice box up and down._

_But still, no sound._

_His vision began seeing white, along with an assortment of colors of orange and yellow, all blurring themselves into his vision like some twisted kaleidoscope of crazy, and bright colors._

_He absolutely loathed it._

_His vision began clearing, revealing sort of a memory from his childhood. And it wasn't a happy memory either. It showed a younger, 7 year old version of himself, crying and sobbing pathetically while he was surrounded by so many shadows, with eyes so cold… so hateful._

"_Demon…"_

"_Monster!"_

"_Demon!"_

"_MONSTER!"_

_The chants and the young Naruto's cries grew louder and louder at each passing moment, escalating to a volume that caused the original's ears to start aching in pain. He reached his arm out, to do anything in his power to stop the chants, to cease the cries… his cries, anything. Closer he had come to the scene, but it seemed like time had slowed down to a point of pure impossibility as his hand was gliding through the particles of the air around him._

_His hand was only a foot away towards his younger self, the voices growing and growing louder at the minute, nearly unbearable even. Closer and closer, his touch was only two inches away…_

…_But his hand was deterred from going to its destination, as if some invisible glass wall magically erupted from the ground and separated the two from each other. He retracted his hand and tried again, only for his hand to meet once more with the solid and invisible wall._

_The laughter and the taunts of the shadows grew louder and louder if it was still possible, the loud banging of Naruto's hands against the wall in desperation to get to his young self, not slowing down in their pace to reach out and comfort him, to say that the evils around him will never hurt him anymore as the unvolumed screams and yells that he mouthed seemed to fuel the shriek-like laughs and jeers of the voices._

_Louder and louder, they ascended to a near-heavenly high, forcing Naruto into clutching his head in pain of the noise until he couldn't stand another second of it all, shattering the glass wall down with a punch laced in pure hate and anger._

_Finally, the voices stopped. Silence reigned, and only the soft sobs of the blonde child emanated through the darkness around. He came close to the littler Naruto, who had now looked up to see his saviour. _

_Young Naruto's eyes widened, and he screamed in horror, stumbling back from his kneeling position and raising his arm as if to protect himself from the bewildered original. Taking a step forward in confusion, Naruto's foot met with a broken shard of the glass wall he had decimated a few moments ago. He had noticed something… off, in his reflection._

_Picking a shard up, he peered close… and gasped in surprise himself as he recognized and knew why his younger self became terrified when he tried to come close and comfort him._

_It was because what he saw in his reflection was that of the **Kyuubi no Kitsune.**_

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

Naruto was silent at this, remembering all the nightmares he used to have before he made friends with everyone. 

…And the Catfight was still going on in the background.

* * *

"_**No!"** Naruto bolted forward from his running sleep, skidding along the road he was now traveling in to prevent himself from tripping._

"_Wh-where…"_

_He looked left and right, seeing trees everywhere with a light sound of a rushing stream nearby. The Fresh smell of the pine and local fauna told him we was no longer in Konoha, and was already in the Forests of Amegakure, while a gut feeling was telling him that the mission's objective was close. The road across him, beckoned the blonde jounin to come closer into the dark recesses of the forest as if it were a charm of sorts._

_Panting slightly from his dream, Naruto shook his head, albeit more tired than revitalized from the so-called sleeprun and began walking towards the dirt road surrounded by so many trees around him, overshadowing anything Naruto could see human as a target for his mission._

_From afar, another blonde man with unruly hair and was dressed in a robe of dark orange with rising violet flames on the sleeves, stood calmly on top of a tree branch, his sharp, angular eyes observing every move that Naruto was making. He smiled a little as what he referred to as his 'prey' was coming close to his own nearby position._

"_Hmmm… What an interesting guy…" He murmured quietly, caressing the slightly glowing tattoos of words written all over his arms._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"And that ends this chapter. How troublesome," Shikamaru said. 

"You know, I'm kind of hungry. How about we go out for some ramen? Shikamaru? Hinata-chan? Tenten?" Naruto asked.

"S-Sure. A-Arigato, N-Naruto-kun," Hinata said, blushing again.

"It's so troublesome, but fine," Shikamaru said with a sigh.

"Okay, if it's your treat!" Tenten replied.

"Great! Let's go!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing all three of them and rushing out the door.

Meanwhile, the catfight was still going on…

* * *

And that ends this chapter! I hope you liked it! I have another poll up! This time, it's on who will enter the room and read the Fanfiction with everyone else! You can choose ANYBODY to join. I'll show the winner next time! Catch you next continue! 


	12. The Hokage joins in on the fun!

Hello, everybody! I'm so happy with all the reviews you gave me! Thank you all so much! Here is the next chapter!

* * *

There's Fanfiction about us!

Chapter 12: The Hokage joins in on the fun!

* * *

Naruto, Shikamaru, Tenten, and Hinata, were all currently at Ichiraku Ramen stand, getting some tasty (at least to Naruto) Miso Ramen. Sakura, Ino, Neji, and Sasuke, were still taking part in the Catfight-free-for-all. 

"Ah! Reading those stories about us is good, but nothing beats a good bowl of Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I don't know about that, but I guess it's good to be getting some fresh air," Tenten replied.

"B-but don't you think w-we should have broken up that c-catfight?" Hinata said.

"I'm sure the others will be alright. Besides, it would have been FAR too troublesome to even try," Shikamaru said in a bored tone.

As the friends talked and ate, a certain blonde-haired, busty Hokage came into the Ramen stand, looking for a certain someone.

"Shikamaru-kun! There you are!" Tsunade exclaimed when she spotted him, causing the others to look at her. "I need to use the computer to check out online Poker sites!"

"Aw, can't it wait, Tsunade no baachan? We were reading a story about me becoming a bad-ass!" Naruto pouted.

"What are you talking about, Naruto no gaki?" Tsunade said.

"What Naruto means, is that we have discovered a website where people have been writing Fanfiction about all sorts of things. Including us," Shikamaru explained.

"Right now, we were reading a story about Naruto becoming all Dark and Anti-Hero like," Tenten said.

"D-Do you want to l-look at it with us H-Hokage-Sama…?" Hinata asked timidly.

"Sure. I've got nothing better to do. I'll just have Shizune do all the paperwork for a while… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-!-!" Tsunade laughed evilly, with thunderbolts and howling wolves going off in the background.

The 3 members of the Rookie Nine (even Hinata), and Tenten, all sweatdropped.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Hokage Tower, Shizune sneezed. 

"…I…sense…a disturbance!" She said to herself.

* * *

After Naruto finished eating 30 bowls of Ramen, the gang, with Tsunade in tow, went back into Shikamaru's room. 

…And sweatdropped at seeing the Four-way Catfight STILL going on.

"Jeez. You'd think they'd be tired by now," Naruto commented.

"I-I hope they aren't hurt t-too badly…" Hinata said.

"UGH. This is VERY troublesome," Shikamaru groaned.

"You're telling me! Hokage-sama, could you break them up please," Tenten asked sweetly.

"And why should I bother doing that?" Tsunade huffed, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Because one: we won't be able to get back to the story until SOMEONE does it, (_And it sure as heck isn't going to be ME_) and two: if we DON'T stop them, they may run into the Laptop, and destroy it," Shikamaru said, whispering part of it.

The sentence, 'They may run into the Laptop and destroy it,' caught Tsunade's attention.

No more Laptop means no more portable online GAMBLING!

And Tsunade would be DAMMED if she let that happened.

Pulling a Megaphone out of nowhere, the busty Hokage shouted, "ALL RIGHT YOU FOUR, **BREAK IT UP!-!-!-!-!**"

The fight broke up almost instantly. This left all the participants in bruises, bumps, welts, and everything else.

Shikamaru sighed.

Naruto laughed.

Tenten rolled her eyes.

And Hinata looked worried.

"Hokage-sama, could you please recover these guys while I get to the next chapter?" Shikamaru pleaded.

"Fine," Tsunade said, beginning to heal the four people, with Sakura helping after she got healed.

The rest clicked on the next chapter of the story.

* * *

_Jukebox: Fade to Black; Metallica, Hallelujah; Bamboo (Filipino Rock. Give it a try… even if you don't understand the lyrics…)._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Konoha_

_Clink… clink… clink…_

_The sound of the spoon, slowly stirring the murky brown coffee inside of Tsunade's mug was the only thing that she seemed to hear as she sat quietly on one of the tables of the Konoha StarBar Café inhabited by people and teens of the younger generation, all going about with the daily trivialities people converse all around about. The Slug Sannin's eyes kept itself into one point in space, blurs of all colors, shapes and sizes passing by her eyes in a flash as if time had slowed down for her._

_Or is it that time had moved too fast for her eyes to see?_

_Her thoughts drifted themselves to the earlier, less complicated years she had experienced when she became Hokage. The time when he considered the Sannin as his Obaa-chan. His adoptive mother._

_The way he smiled when he gained her approval or recognition when he accomplished something truly noteworthy of praise._

_The way he whined like a child when he was assigned D-Ranked missions as a punishment for any idiotic pranks or mischief he had cracked up on the village. Those were also gone._

_And lastly… the way he would always yell out 'Granny' or 'Old Hag' as a greeting._

_She missed them all. No matter how idiotic his actions, she missed them all.

* * *

_

"As if I would miss the gaki calling me old. I've been trying to get him to stop that for weeks!" Tsunade exclaimed, having finished healing everyone. 

"Trust me, Hokage-sama, you'll think differently when you see WHY you miss it in this fic," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_The warmth she felt when he spoke to her, when his skin would sometimes brush with hers, or when he would simply smile for her; it was all gone._

_And it was her fault._

"_Hey, are you gonna drink that?"_

_Tsunade faced the direction of the voice, and at the same time, cutting her off from her thoughts of her precious blonde hero._

_It was Jiraiya._

"_What do you want?" Tsunade asked irritably, not minding the fact that Jiraiya was now stealing her mug of Vanilla Coffee._

"_Seeing as a pretty lady like you is upset, it's obvious I'm here to help." Jiraiya replied, drinking last of the coffee and letting out a breath of satisfaction after setting the mug down. Tsunade blushed a little at his statement, but just remained silent, not answering the perverted sennin's question._

"_So… your trouble is Naruto, right?" Jiraiya blurted out, causing Tsunade to wince. Jiraiya just smiled at Tsunade's reaction._

"_How…?" Tsunade started._

"_Oh, but I know Tsunade-hime, I simply know." Jiraiya answered cheekily.

* * *

_

"That smug, perverted old bastard. Thinks he knows everything," Tsunade muttered to herself. 

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, baa-chan, Ero-sennin isn't one of the Legendary Three alongside you and Orochimaru for nothing, you know," Naruto said, overhearing her.

Tsunade just Humph'd in response.

* * *

_Tsunade cringed a little in Jiraiya's answer, but calmed down a little afterwards and spoke softly once more._

"…_Why won't he open up to me like he used to?" Tsunade said sadly._

"_Well duh, you did have a hand in ruining the kid's dream." Jiraiya said flatly._

_Tsunade scowled. "What do you think I was supposed to do? Remember what Sarutobi-sensei said that the council is more powerful in politics than the Hokage, and add the fact that they practically own the ANBU, refusing to do what they want is practically walking straight to your grave!" Tsunade snapped to Jiraiya.

* * *

_

"I wouldn't be afraid of those bastards! I would just kick their asses if they tried to get smart with me, ANBU be dammed!" Tsunade said indignantly. 

"Hell yeah, baa-chan! And I'd be right there with you!" Naruto declared, striking a pose.

As the two shared a laugh together, Hinata stared at Naruto in admiration, Tenten stared at TSUNADE in admiration, and the rest were thinking how the Hokage was just like Naruto. In more ways than one.

* * *

"_Humph. That was what Naruto would have done if he were in your shoes." Jiraiya remarked dryly, chewing on a toothpick he had gotten from the dispenser on the table._

_The Slug Sannin froze on her seat. He was right. Knowing how compassionate Naruto is, he would have done everything in his power to give even a slight chance of success in electing Tsunade for Hokage, no matter how large the obstacles he may encounter. He would never give up on her._

_And she had downright failed all those. And for what? Her own selfish reasons that cannot match the mass of reasons Naruto had kept on one finger._

"_The kid's pissed right now. Give him time before talking to him." Jiraiya said, heaving himself off the Café's seat and began his walk out of the café, and into any place he may find interest in. May it be bathhouses, or anything that might spark his interest._

_Tsunade watched as the Frog Sennin's figure began to fade into the massive crowds of humanity, until the small speck that represented him had disappeared from her view. Unconsciously, a smile crept up her face as she rose up from her own chair. Tsunade left the café and proceeded to walk towards the Hokage Mountain to gather her thoughts of Naruto… and figure out what to say if the kid has cooled down._

_In her state of thought, Tsunade thanked Kami that Jiraiya could have the potential to be wise sometimes.

* * *

_

"Jiraiya/Ero-sennin? WISE? That'll be the day," Both Tsunade and Naruto said at the same time, making the others sweatdrop. 

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, you and the dobe are creeping me out right now. It's almost like you're brother and sister," Sasuke said.

"What can I say, Sasuke-teme? When it comes to Ero-sennin, we both tend to agree a lot," Naruto replied, shrugging.

"You got that right!" Tsunade said.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Naruto_

_Jukebox: Ultraviolet (Nelo Angelo); Devil May Cry soundtrack. Suffer, Chaos' Warm Welcome; Devil May Cry 3 soundtrack.(Beginning of battle.)_

_The light flow of the wind rustled the idle hanging grass surrounding the forests of the abandoned Amegakure road, accompanying the uniformal march of Naruto's boots. Five minutes had passed and not a single sign of the so-called bandits had appeared to mug the life out of him. If nothing was coming at him, then what was the reason for coming in the middle of nowhere for? Was it some random goose chase? A sick joke?_

_As if the question in his mind answered itself, Naruto sensed an overhead slash coming from behind him at an incredible speed, that Naruto himself was impressed at the attacker's battle prowess._

_Grinning to himself, he decided to showcase his own amount of strength to his unlucky attacker. Faster than you can say 'uh', Naruto gathered and wildly spun mounds of chakra into his hand and easily deflected the oncoming blade with the Rasengan, sending a large amount of force to his attacker, knocking him back a good twenty feet_.

* * *

"Finally, we get to the ACTION! Time for me to kick some more ass!" Naruto declared. 

"Blah, blah, blah. Wake me when it's over," Sasuke said, laying down on the floor and taking a nap.

"Suit yourself, Sasuke-teme! You don't know what you're missing!" Naruto growled at him.

* * *

_The attacker skillfully rebounded from the blow and landed clean on a crouching position. Slowly, he rose and eyed the now chipped and broken beyond all reason sword on his hands. The metal, which had finally ran out of durability, promptly snapped under its own weight and fell to the grassy soil with a light thud._

"_My, my… that was quite impressive… No one has been able to break one of my blades before." The man remarked, his eyes closed flamboyantly as he threw the useless hilt of the broken sword and withdrew another unused sword from one of the six sheaths of swords on his back. "You know, I guess that old man and woman was right about you. You're definitely going to be a lot of fun." The man said arrogantly, playing with the sword on his hand as if it were really a toy, still not opening his eyes._

_From the whole time his opponent had been blabbering nonsense, Naruto took the time to observe who exactly he was facing._

_The man wore a rough-looking dark orange robe with purple flames rising from the sleeves and ends of the cloak, accompanied with a pair of hard-leather gauntlets that reached up to his elbows. He wore a pair of dark green pants tucked comfortably on the pair of greaves reaching towards knee level. His hair stood up erected, like a broom, together with a Hidden Mist Forehead Protector with a horizontal slash on the middle, wrapped snugly around his forehead. Instantaneously, Naruto recognized who this person was._

_Stated from the bingo books of Konoha, this man is known widely around the country of the Mist, Leaf, and Cloud as a mass-murderer of samurai and ninja alike, scavenging the finest of swords that he can find from his killed opponents like some twisted collector. Even though his ninjutsu and genjutsu skills are only mediocre, his speed and ferality in battle together with his Taijutsu and Kenjutsu skills earned him a spot as a member of the most dangerous and most notorious group known in the Hidden Mist, the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. His speed and swordsmanship skills are one of the fastest and strongest in the Ninja world._

"_You are Sawagejou Chou, S-Rank Missing nin of the Mist, correct?" Naruto asked monotonously, earning a large smirk of satisfaction from Chou.

* * *

_

"Man, I'm so smart in this story! I'm the man!" Naruto said, doing the nice-guy pose, making everyone (Neji and Tenten in particular, since they have to deal with the 'Nice' guy pose EVERY DAY) cringe. 

"Naruto, if you EVER do that pose again, I will rip your head off and play basketball with it," Sakura growled at him.

"And I'll play baseball with it after that!" Ino said.

"Bowling for me!" Neji said.

"Sports are too troublesome. I'll just hold you down with my Kage Mane no (SP?) Jutsu while they cut your head off," Shikamaru said.

"Screw sports, I'LL use it as TARGET PRACTICE!" Tenten roared.

"Sorry…" Naruto whimpered, hiding behind Hinata (the only one who DIDN'T want to use his head for anything).

Hinata simply blushed at Naruto being so close.

The truth is that she wanted to feed Naruto to Kiba's nin-dog, Akamaru, for even THINKING about doing the 'Nice' guy pose.

Not that she'd EVER tell him that.

* * *

_The missing nin's eyes opened and met with the blonde's eyes for only a split second… and promptly looked away a little nervously and focused themselves on the katana he was playing with, trying his best to retain his cool._

"_Right you are, friend. Honored that even people from other countries know li'l me." Chou shakily replied with a bow. Setting himself back to a standing position, Chou's eyes began to focus themselves to the sleek and shiny Murasame, being held lightly on the scabbard by Naruto._

"_That's a beautiful piece you have there… foreign is it?" Chou inquired curiously, eyeing every small sheen Murasame's scabbard was making. Naruto didn't respond to his question, but still continued to stare coldly at Chou._

"_Not answering huh? Fine with me." Chou said, slowly rising up his katana into Naruto's direction a little more confidently than what he had been feeling a few moments ago. "This ain't personal alright? You see, my job's to take you out. And—"_

"_It does not matter. Do what you have to do." Naruto rudely interrupted._

_Chou smirked. "Heh, alright then. You asked for it." Without warning, Chou dashed forward and attempted to stab Naruto clean with his sword, only for it to be knocked away from it's destination with another Rasengan, courtesy of the blond shinobi._

_Rebounding away, Chou managed to get far away from Naruto, who was simply as impassive looking when the two met._

"_I didn't say I would go down without a fight." Naruto muttered, interlocking his eyes with Chou's.

* * *

_

"This fight is getting good," Sakura said. 

"I'll say. I'm at the edge of my seat!" Ino replied.

"Not bad… I guess," Neji said.

"I always love a good sword fight!" Tenten said happily.

"I hope Naruto doesn't let this go to his head…" Tsunade said.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted indignantly.

"SNOOOOOOOORRREEEEEEEEE…" Sasuke said, making the others sweatdrop yet again.

"…Lazy Uchiha," Neji said in disgust.

"Back to the story…" Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

_The missing nin's eyes flinched for a split second as his eyes met with the blonde's. Those two murky, ice-cold orbs, coldly staring at his own with seemingly calm ferociousness that was driving his mind nearly insane. And Naruto wasn't even doing anything! Another second of eternity passed, and Chou felt as if those two eyes were drilling themselves straight into his soul, tearing apart every shred of humanity he had inside of him._

'_I-it's like I'm coming face to face with the Devil himself…!' Chou thought, cold beads of sweat trickling down his cheeks, moistening the slashed Mist Headband he was wearing. The lingering and unbroken gaze was literally bringing Chou to the brink of his insanity until he could not take another moment of it all._

_Panicking, Chou raced in grasping the blade of his sword and gripped the metal tightly, slashing his palm with one swift cut, knocking his senses back to normal and out of Naruto's terrifying gaze._

"… _What's wrong?" Naruto questioned with a slight sneer._

"_Heh, nothing that concerns you." Chou answered with a smile, disappearing from Naruto's view and reappearing from behind him with a horizontal slash from his sword as the opening number to the two shinobi's macabre dance.

* * *

_

"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBBBLLLLEEEEEEE!" Neji shouted out randomly. 

The others face-faulted.

"What? I've always wanted to say that!" Neji huffed.

* * *

_Lightly jumping up from Chou's attack, Naruto instantly charged another Rasengan and smashed the raging compact tornado into Chou's former sword, the explosion knocking Chou away from Naruto's attack range._

"_Is that it? Or are you holding back on me?" Naruto asked, his eyes now looking bored._

_Chou scowled a little angrily, reaching towards his four remaining swords. Gripping two swords on each of his hands, he pulled them all out into the open, and charged straight to Naruto once more._

'_And I thought… wait…' Naruto's train of thought was interrupted as he saw Chou separating one part of the hilt from each of the katanas on his hands, removing one half of the sword guard and hilt and revealing a glimpse of some sort of a lock-like mechanism inside the each of the swords. Surprise filled Naruto as Chou had combined a pair of the half swords, forming a sword with two blades and began to double wield the pair._

_'Impressive… But still not enough.' Naruto thought._

_Chou came closer and closer, the double duo of blades forming a cross as he came close to Naruto for the killing strike._

"_Again and again…" Naruto muttered annoyedly, forming another Rasengan to deflect Chou's swords._

_The last thing he saw on Chou's face was a smirk before completely disappearing from Naruto's view._

"_Amazing…! It doesn't seem to be genjutsu…" Naruto remarked quietly, forcing his senses to go into high alert for Chou's location._

_The next thing he knew after a split second of careless thinking, the broom-haired swordsman stabbed Naruto clean on the back, both of the double blades he was wielding, firmly resting themselves on the charred leather fabric the shocked blonde was wearing, the insides slowly began to moisten itself with Naruto's own blood. A triumphant smile rose from Chou's face as he drove the blades deeper into Naruto's rapidly paling body, making him cough out a generous amount of blood._

"_Alas, it ends here." Chou said in mock disappointment._

"_Hahahaha…" Naruto laughed weakly, the color of his face, deteriorating at an extremely fast rate._

"_What's so funny…?" Chou inquired suspiciously._

"_Heh… you're an idiot." Naruto muttered out weakly before light erupted from his mouth, ears, and basically, all the openings present on his body._

"_Bunshin Daibakuha!" Naruto roared, the light all around him grew even brighter than ever as a scream of unadulterated pain erupted from the now-confirmed explosive bunshin Naruto conjured seemingly out of nowhere, self destructing into a giant, monster of an explosion, sending Chou flying away into a giant tree and leaving him senseless and unaware of his swords' destruction. Fixing himself to a standing position, Chou spat out blood from his mouth and tried to find any remainder of his swords that could still be used to battle Naruto, finding absolutely no luck as ALL four of his swords have been decimated by his blonde opponent.

* * *

_

"HA! Take that, you evil person!" Naruto shouted out in triumph. 

"Not bad at all, Naruto," Neji said, smirking a little.

"This author is very good at fight scenes, by the look of it," Tsunade praised.

"I'd have to agree," Shikamaru replied.

Hinata had stars in her eyes, after reading how HER Naruto-kun destroyed that guy's swords as though it was nothing.

* * *

"_Tsk… I guess I must use 'it'…" Chou muttered out as he started to pull up his sleeves… but stopped on his act as he felt a cold, metallic object rest lightly on his neck._

"_Game Over, Sawagejou." Naruto muttered from behind Chou._

"_Is it? Oh, but it's just beginning, kid." Chou remarked cockily. Naruto had heard enough nonsense and promptly decapitated Chou, who had expectedly turned into a Mizu Bunshin._

_Naruto however, wasn't surprised by this and simply flicked the water out of Murasame's blade and returned it into the scabbard. He scanned the area around, but found absolutely no sign of Chou, whether it be sloppy traces or chakra signatures._

"_Hm… You never give up, don't you?" Naruto addressed out loud to the seemingly empty forest._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

"_Oh yeah… you are going down, swordie man…" Chou whispered heatedly with sadistic excitement as his teeth sunk on both his thumbs. Forming a cross with his arms, he ran his thumbs down the tattoos on both arms and formed the tiger seal with his bloodily moist hands._

"_Kuchiyose: Yasatsuna!" Chou growled a little loudly, the seal tattoos on his arms glowed a dark red color before gathering close to his hands, forming a distinct shape of a katana._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Naruto heard a mild shout and quickly followed the direction with the Funnu no Hiraishin, observing every bush, tree or branch that Chou might be hiding in._

_The air around him suddenly tensed, forcing him to stop mid-Hiraishin, landing cleanly on a tall tree branch._

"_What do we have here…" Naruto uttered out barely audibly at the thick blanket of mist, shrouding the branches and trees around his position._

_All around, the loud and sudden laughter of his opponent filled the area around, but still, Naruto was not affected and simply kept his cool at the situation around him._

"_Hmm… I wonder where… Urk!" Naruto gasped and suddenly vomited out a good amount of blood._

'_What the—' Naruto looked down and was shocked at a single-edged blade sticking out of his gut. The blade immediately withdrawn itself and the presence Naruto had started to just feel, both disappeared and left Naruto barely aware of what in the world had just happened.

* * *

_

"Uh, oh. Naruto's in trouble now!" Ino said, sharing a bag of popcorn with Sakura. 

"In real life, unless Naruto had some kind of medical Jutsu, I doubt he would be living after THAT strike," Tsunade said.

"That's why they call it FANfiction, baa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed.

Hinata now had an angry look on her face. How DARE the author write that HER Naruto-kun get hurt like that!

…And Sasuke was still asleep.

* * *

'_Damn! I wasn't able to sense him… Better get to better ground…' Naruto decided and started jumping down to the depths the mist was covering. Only at midfall, another flash-fast slash was able to penetrate Naruto's senses and left another deep cut on his abdomen, giving an opening on the black fabric Naruto was wearing._

'_Fast! But how…' Naruto ignored the pain and left Kyuubi to deal with healing the wounds and continued to jump down from tree to tree, in hopes of getting at a better vantage point._

_Slash after slash, and at every close-call block Naruto was able to make, he was finally able to get down on the ground, his senses now seemingly sharpening due to the adrenaline that was pumping non-stop inside his body. Even after all the cuts Chou was able to land on Naruto's body, which had noticeably torn off the lower abdomen part of his flesh shirt, he was still standing strong with the help of both Kyuubi's chakra and the Shosen Jutsu he was barely able to grasp in one of the Junín-level Medic scrolls he was able to study when he had returned to Konoha.

* * *

_

Tsunade looked worried at the part that mentioned the Kyuubi. How did this author know about it? 

Naruto saw the worried look on Tsunade, and smiled, reassuring her.

"HA! I _do_ have a medical Jutsu with me! In your face, baa-chan!" Naruto declared soon after, which made Tsunade sweatdrop.

* * *

"_**Kit, Do you hear me?" **Boomed out Kyuubi's voice._

'_What the hell do you want, fox? If you want me to use your little chakra, then forget about it!' Naruto mentally spat out in irritation, his mind still focused at where Chou might strike next._

"_**That does not matter, brat. Make sure he does not cut you up too much. The amount of blood you have lost was too much, even for me to restore. Remember that I do not have limitless chakra and if I run out, you and I are both in a lot of trouble, do you understand?" **Kyuubi stated seriously._

'_Heh, don't worry. But still, do you think I should use it?' Naruto questioned to his tenant, his gut feeling and instincts running haywire as they are sensing Chou's approach._

_Inside him, Naruto couldn't help but imagine the wildly smiling face of Kyuubi as he said: **"Definitely."

* * *

**_

"Uh, oh! Naruto's got a killer move he's going to use!" Tenten said, now eating some of the popcorn. 

"I hope it's a flashy one," Tsunade said.

"Knowing Naruto, it's almost a given," Sakura said.

"Let's find out!" Neji said, excited.

* * *

_Grinning himself, Naruto positioned himself to a battoujutsu position and closed his eyes, concentrating with all his might, just to hear, feel, and sense to where Chou might strike next._

'_Battoujutsu? Hah! That's not going to save you!' Chou thought as Yasatsuna was nearing its target behind Naruto's back where his heart was located at._

_The moment that only one foot away was the blade unto piercing Naruto's heart, all time stopped at that single moment, somehow, displaying a picturesque scene of the place._

_The light coursing of the wind passing lightly around the place like a gentle caress. The solid and excited breathing of Sawagejou Chou, the warm feeling of winning his battle with one of the most powerful and dangerous beings he had ever encountered emanated throughout his body like an aura, the beads of sweat flailing out of the way as the tip of Yasatsuna's blade came closer to Naruto's back._

_Naruto, with his eyes closed in concentration, gripped the hilt of Murasame firmly as he dug his right foot on the ground and swept the area behind him with a lightning fast sweep kick. Bolting his eyes open, Naruto immediately scanned the area behind and saw Sawagejou Chou, his features frozen in that split second Naruto made the turn. Naruto's grin grew more as he continued the momentum of the sweep and dragged it forward once more, twisting his body to add more force to the turn._

_The second time Naruto had made another twist, facing Chou, he immediately drew Murasame out of its scabbard and smashed the blade into Chou's Yasatsuna with every bit of strength he had inside his body, powerfully driving Chou away from stabbing him with his blade and at the same time, stunning him a little with the amount of force he had exerted into the blow._

_Still in the force of the sweep, Naruto retracted his right arm, which held Murasame, pointing it towards Chou's wildly spinning body._

'_Six Spirals; Initial Arts: Shotgun Thrust!' Naruto shouted inside his mind as he felt chakra rush inside his body and into Murasame._

_Pushing extra chakra into his feet, Naruto plunged himself towards Chou and threw all his energy and chakra into the powerful thrust, but barely stabbing Chou._

_Still, the small stab didn't put Naruto's smile down as the magnitude of strength and chakra he had put in the Shotgun Thrust literally smashed into Chou like a bulldozer, knocking him to near unconsciousness._

_Dashing forward to Chou's direction, Naruto resheathed Murasame and held its hilt tightly once more, the speed he was in nearly blurred everything he was seeing._

'_Six Spirals; Chain Arts: Shunshin Sword Dance!'_

_With all his might, Naruto focused chakra energy into his whole body and began rapidly slashing at Chou, each blow he had dealt cleaved off a chunk amount of flesh from his still airborne opponent, and at the same time, getting him just below Chou's position._

_Resheathing Murasame again, Naruto focused every bit of willpower and control he had, not to screw up his chakra control or any of the moves he was performing, as one wrong move can completely backfire on him, possibly even kill him at the worst case scenario. And this was one of those scenarios. Gripping Murasame tightly, he quickly slashed upward, though not hitting Chou, but the force the slash had, gave him leverage in Murasame and the key into performing his final blow to finish off Chou._

'_Six Spirals; Special Arts: Flash Splitter!'_

_Driving Murasame down, together with the chakra he had concentrated to the blade, Naruto was able to create a humongous fire-like extension on it and slammed down the zanbato-like, chakra-fused blade down to the ground, creating a miniature crater and earthquake, and splitting Sawagejou Chou into two heavily maimed pieces of flesh in the process.

* * *

_

"YAY! Naruto-kun won!" Hinata shouted out all of a sudden. 

The rest turned towards her, mouths agape.

"Um, I mean, N-Naruto-kun d…did it…" Hinata said in her normal shy voice.

The rest did a thumbs-up, and turned back to finish the chapter.

* * *

_Blood rained down from Chou's lifeless body like the light drizzles during spring, bathing the surrounding forest in a glorious display of twisted artistry between blood and human meat as the two larger parts of Chou fell on the ground with a sickening thud._

_Slowly flicking Murasame's blade to wipe the blade free of any blood, Naruto resheathed the blade with noble grace and walked towards Chou's cold and very dead body, which was still holding the blade he was using moments ago._

_Coming closer to it, Naruto was surprised to see that the blade, which was hit by one of his more powerful attacks, was unharmed and free of any chips. It looks as if it was still newly forged, amidst the blood and grime stuck on it._

_Gingerly picking it up, he raised his brow in fascination at the blade, not by its beauty, nor for its durability, and not even at its sharpness._

_He was quite surprised with the blade because he didn't even feel any weight from it._

"_Hmm… So that's why I couldn't sense it…" Naruto muttered to himself, giving the blade a few test swings around the air around him, not even having the slightest bit o difficulty in wielding it._

"_Yasatsuna, huh? Nice…" Naruto commented, the shout Chou had emitted moments ago coming back to his head like a recording._

_Speaking of Chou, Naruto glanced at his lifeless body, the whites of his eyes was all there is showing, his mouth wide open in shock that his underestimation of Naruto had made him pay the ultimate price. For a moment of thoughtful thinking and organization of thought, from the beginning of the mission till the end, of Koharu and Chou, Naruto's teeth slightly grit themselves in anger at what Koharu and Homura set him up on, but relaxed as Kyuubi had recently made a mental suggestion to his host._

_And it was one Naruto couldn't help but agree on._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"All right! I defeated an S-rank missing-nin, AND got a brand new sword! I LOVE fanfiction!" Naruto said happily. 

"Whatever. I just can't wait to see what happens to those two old bats in the next chapter!" Sakura exclaimed.

Just then, Sasuke yawned, sat up on the floor, stretched his arms, and rubbed his eyes.

"So, what did I miss?" He said.

Everybody else sweatdropped.

* * *

Yay! Chapter 12 is done! Sorry it took so long. I hope this 16 page chapter made up for it! 

And now, it's time for…

THE VOTE CORNER!

This is the part of the story where you can vote for the next type of story you want to see when I'm finished with this one. But there is a catch. If you want your vote to count, you must tell me your favorite quote in the whole story!

Okay, here are the choices this time!

An AU (Alternate Universe) fic!

A Crossover fic!

A Girl Naruto fic!

A Hyuugacest fic!

A Naruto Harem fic! (I think that this one will win) :p

* * *

I hope you look forward to the results! Like always, Catch you next continue! 


	13. I could have done without reading THAT

Yo, everybody! Nice to be typing this story again after so long! I'm SO happy for all the votes and reviews that I got! But you have to remember that I said only the votes with QUOTES would be counted. If you are one of the many who forgot to add a quote to their vote (Heh, that rhymes…), then this will be your LAST chance to do so. I will announce the winning story type at the start of the next chapter. And also, I will be adding a new type of story that you can vote for! I'll reveal it at the end of the chapter!

And with that being said, it's time for the Voting results so far!

* * *

The votes that COUNT: 

Naruto Harem: 9

Hyuugacest: 5

AU: 2

Crossover: 3

Since the Girl Naruto didn't get too many votes (Counting or otherwise), it will be taken off, and replaced with the one I will reveal at the end of this chapter!

* * *

Now, let us begin Chapter 13 of, "There's Fanfiction about us!"

* * *

There's Fanfiction about Us!

Chapter 13: …I could have done without reading THAT.

* * *

"Man, Uchiha, you must be the laziest bastard I've ever known," Neji said in disgust. "How could you possibly sleep through a fight scene as good as that?" 

"Simple. It had Naruto in it," Sasuke replied, ignoring the glare that Naruto threw his way. "So I'm assuming that the dobe won? 'Cause if he didn't, and he DIED, then it wouldn't be much of a story."

"HAH! Of course I won, you bastard!" Naruto shouted triumphantly. "You should have seen it! I was kicking that guy's ass in such a Bad-Ass way! I was DA MAN!!"

"Sure, Naruto-gaki. Leave out the fact that he stabbed you through the gut, and caused you to lose a great amount of blood," Tsunade said dryly.

Naruto simply glared at her.

Tsunade glared back.

"Okay, let's get back to the story before we have a glaring contest on our hands," Sakura suggested.

"For once, Giant-forehead, I agree with you," Ino replied.

Sakura resisted the urge to glare at Ino as Shikamaru moved on to the next chapter.

* * *

_Jukebox: Sanosuke's theme; Rurouni Kenshin soundtrack._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_After the battle with Chou… 2 hours later…_

_The mid-afternoon sun beamed down gloriously all over the life tingling flora surrounding the peaceful Amegakure fields, and all over an idly walking clad black, blonde haired man carrying a glamorous-looking blade by its hilt, together with a lump of dark orange cloth covering some sort of object on his other hand. On his back was another magnificent sword with its scabbard comfortably wedged in between the man's tight half-shirt and back.

* * *

_

"Alright! I took that teme's sword! Now I'll become even MORE Bad-Ass!" Naruto said happily. 

"Great. As if one Bad-Ass sword wasn't bad enough. Now he's gonna be bragging about this for weeks!" Tenten whispered into Hinata's ear.

Hinata simply giggled at that thought.

* * *

_His footsteps landed softly against the ground, creating small mushroom clouds around his foot and leaving behind small clouds of dust behind him._

_Though his face may look emotionless and unresponding to the world, his mind was active and was speaking to another being inside of him._

'_How long has he been following us?' Naruto questioned in his mind._

"_**From what I can sense… the moment you left that shithole village."** Kyuubi, the tenant of Naruto answered._

'_I see… should we call him out?'_

_Kyuubi paused a little, and shortly answered._

"_**No… Not yet. It would just waste your time." **Kyuubi replied solemnly._

'_Humph. Whatever then.' Naruto said, taking a look behind his shoulder, seeing nothing present from any of the surroundings he was seeing._

_Deciding to have a little fun, Naruto stopped on his walk and firmly thrusted Yasatsuna, his sword, unto the ground and held it in place. He slowly retrieved something from his kunai pouch and in a blur, threw it high into the sky, it becoming but a dot in Naruto's view._

_Retracting Yasatsuna from the ground, he continued his idle walk on the dusty dirt road and paid no heed to the falling gray ball he had thrown moments ago.

* * *

_

"I wonder why Naruto did that in the story," Sakura questioned. 

"Eh, it's probably me just doing more Bad-Ass stuff. Nothing different," Naruto said, while closing his eyes, folding his arms, and nodding his head with a smirk on his face.

The others, Tsunade in particular, just sighed at his cockiness.

* * *

_As the ball landed with a light thud on the ground, smoke began erupting wildly from the small lines and openings from it, blinding white flashes bursting from within as the explosive ball fulfilled it's purpose and blew the part of the path Naruto had been on moments ago to kingdom come._

_Naruto, who was now far away from the smoking crater the ball had done, grinned a little as his idle walk continued to drag itself slowly to the near borders of Fire Country._

_From the crater, far away from the blonde's view, a dark cloaked man with a venus flytrap-like head slowly emerged from the ground like a chameleon, scowling a little as he dusted the dirt and rock from his cloak._

"_So… He was able to find us…" The man's white-halved face uttered out a little amazedly at the figure of the walking blonde man far ahead of him.

* * *

_

"Ha! I knew it! I knew those guys were there, and acted like it was no big deal! If that's not being a Bad-Ass, I don't know what is!" Naruto proclaimed. 

"Would you SHUT UP ABOUT BEING A BAD-ASS ALREADY?!" Sakura shrieked. "We got it about the MILLIONTH time you said it!"

"Aw, but Sakura-chan…"

"No buts! Either shut up, or I swear to Kami, I will MAKE you shut up!" Sakura screamed, a little of Inner Sakura getting out of her.

And with that, Naruto made a little 'Meep…" sound, and shrunk into his lap.

"Man, Naruto. You've got it bad. You haven't even gotten married yet, and you're ALREADY whipped!" Shikamaru stated.

Naruto gave Shikamaru a death-glare, but didn't speak up for fear of suffering Sakura's wrath.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Sound Country._

_Deep within the bowels of the Snake's Den, the hideaway and outpost of dark mastermind and sinister cold-blooded beast who dons the mere skin of a human, Orochimaru, a dark ritual of unnatural extremes is taking place within the gigantic chamber of the snake sannin's personal experimentation laboratory, where one calm Yakushi Kabuto is laying down on a murkily glowing, human-sized rune circle dressed with absolutely no shred of clothing on him.

* * *

_

"Uh-oh. I don't like where this is going…" Sakura said. 

"Me neither. Let's just hope that experimenting is the ONLY thing that he wants to do with Kabuto's body," Neji replied.

"As long as Kabuto has his clothes off, it BETTER be the only thing that's going to happen," Sasuke said.

* * *

_A few meters away from him was his master and mentor, Orochimaru, chanting ancient phrases and making complicated handseals all the while in pure concentration like he had never done before. Or at least, a very long time. At each passing handseal he made, his chants grew louder and louder in volume and more roughly in texture like a real snake. Seal after seal, the faintly glowing letters around Kabuto intensified in their glow, somehow shimmering in the coat of darkness surrounding the two men. At last, Orochimaru's pale white, bony fingers landed on the final seal of his jutsu._

_Immediately, all the runes surrounding Kabuto raced towards all over his body, enveloping him in a midnight black cocoon of ink-like substance with letters wildly running all over his body._

_Panting hard from his work, Orochimaru smiled wickedly at the fine performance of his long-neglected jutsu. He crinkled his brow and wiped off the idle bead of sweat rolling down his face and stood up carefully to continue watching his loyal subordinate transform inside the mass of dark substance surrounding him._

"_I put all my faith to you, Kabuto-kun…" Orochimaru muttered with a smile.

* * *

_

"Whew. False Alarm," Tenten said. 

"Thank god. For a second, I thought that I was going to have to leave the room," Ino replied.

"And now that that scary situation is past, let's get back to the story," Shikamaru suggested.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Konoha's gates, late afternoon._

_An idle minute of walking towards the Hokage Tower passed by again as Naruto was finally back inside the Village of Konohagakure with the two trophies in his hands that he had rightfully claimed for himself from the rabid fight with who used to be Sawagejou Chou just a few hours ago. But pushing aside all serious matters, an interesting phenomenon that was currently happening all around to certain people, mostly the females on the side of the road, had caught Naruto's usually stoic attention._

_As annoying as it may seem to the blonde jounin, he couldn't help but feel fascinated at the looks the women gave him. Every time he caught one of the girls looking at his exposed abdomen, a deep red blush would appear on their faces, and would quickly look away, or glare back at him with the blush intact after they notice Naruto staring at them._

_But what was more interesting than this was the open lust that some of the younger generation of ANBU, Chuunin and Jounin kunoichi were radiating off, while some of the older ones were… ah, who cares. Still pretty much the same with them. But amidst this, Naruto stayed impassive and emotionless, just like usual, and continued with his walk to the Hokage Tower.

* * *

_

"Oh, great. Now Naruto's a babe magnet. I call favoritism!" Sasuke shouted. 

Naruto was tempted to gloat about this right in the Uchiha's face. But he remembered Sakura's words, and kept his mouth shut.

And Hinata, even though this was just a story, was starting to get a _little_ jealous.

* * *

"_**You do realize that those looks from those vixens means that you have potential to become an icon of lust for females around this village?" **Kyuubi asked from out of the blue._

'_Your point?' Naruto remarked flatly._

_Naruto felt Kyuubi sigh from within him. **"That means that you do not even have to extend a hand in getting one of these nymphs to bear your child. And of course… withalittlebratfromyoumeansIgettolivelongerafteryoukickthebucket." **Kyuubi said rapidly._

_From the outside, a smile suddenly curled up from Naruto's lips._

'_You know what? I think you're right! Maybe after I sign off from my duty, I'll look around for a few women that can suit us!' Naruto chirped happily inside his mind._

_Kyuubi smiled in triumph and tried to speak again, but Naruto had beaten him to the punch with his strangely happy mental voice._

'_But first, tell me. Do you think they wouldn't mind if I said: "Honey, I've got a confession to make. The Fourth Hokage? The guy that defeated Kyuubi? Well, he wasn't able to completely defeat him, so he sealed the monster that killed numerous heroes and shinobi of Konoha inside a child. Guess what! That kid was none other than yours truly! So do you still love me even if I have a bloodthirsty demon inside of my navel that can influence our future child to killing other children just for kicks?" Cheh. Don't make me laugh, furball.' Naruto spat out inside his mind with distaste as the smile immediately returned to a frown on the blonde's masculine face.

* * *

_

"I'd have to admit, that would be a REAL mood killer," Ino stated. 

"Tell me about it," Sakura agreed.

Naruto felt a little of himself die inside.

* * *

"_**Tsk. I swear, when we meet in Hell, I'm going to give you the greatest beat down to ever be witnessed by the omnipotent of powers both in the Underworld and in Heaven." **Kyuubi growled in anger._

'_Hmph. I'll be waiting for that day.' Naruto responded coldly. Another argument, another death threat. The pattern that the two follow is always the same. Kyuubi makes a conceited suggestion, Naruto declines, and then un-creative death threat. Sometimes, Naruto just wonders when the fox inside of him would at least think of something more original to use._

"_**I heard that!" **Kyuubi shouted._

'_Don't care.' Naruto replied.

* * *

_

"Is this angst, or a bad comedy?" Neji said. 

"It's obvious that this author knows NOTHING about angst. I should know. I'm MR. Angst," Sasuke replied.

"More like, MR. Ego…" Naruto said softly, making sure no one (Sakura in particular), heard him.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Jukebox: Error! Error! Rebooting… no selection available… _

_Naruto, after many more mental and verbal battles with Kyuubi, had finally arrived at the Hokage Tower and with only a small migraine to boot from the two's little 'disagreement'. He came closer towards the door leading to the Hokage's Office, deciding to pay a direct visit to his… superiors. _

_Carefully wedging Yasatsuna's unsheathed blade between Murasame's scabbard and his sturdy half-shirt, he used his now-free hand and lightly gripped on the doorknob leading to the Hokage's room… but stopped short as he heard extremely peculiar sounds coming from within._

'_Are those… moans?'

* * *

_

And with that statement, the whole group of friends froze. 

"You…you don't think…" Ino began.

"Don't. Don't even say it. I don't even want to image it," Tsunade replied, shivering.

"Now…let's not jump to conclusions…it might be two young people trying to do something…daring…" Shikamaru said, trying to convince himself.

"For the love of kami, I HOPE so," Neji said.

The rest of them were too busy trying to get the mental image out of their brains.

* * *

_Sticking his ear flat on the wooden door, the strange and ragged moans of an aged man, from what Naruto estimated to be between 60 to 70 years old, came clearer and clearer towards his field of hearing and also told him of the man's identity. He crinkled his nose in disgust at the… well, it's simply too disgusting to imagine.

* * *

_"Oh dear kami, it IS…" Sakura said, eyes wide. 

"Now…it might be a different man of 60 to 70 years in there…" Shikamaru said.

"…And that would honestly make it better for you?" Tenten said, staring at Shikamaru.

"To tell you the truth, yes. Because I wouldn't be able to image it as easily," Shikamaru replied.

* * *

'_You know, they could be more silent about it.' Naruto thought._

"_**Pah. I'd be moaning just as loud if I had, oh what's the word?" **Kyuubi remarked in mock thought. **"A GIRLFRIEND!" **_

'_Shut it fox. My damn headache is getting worse because of your constant whining.' Naruto shot back._

_Shaking off another looming argument, Naruto lightly gripped the doorknob and opened the wooden door as silent as he can, and with little to no creak and took a peek inside the room to see one Mitokado Homura with his eyes closed in ecstasy, and his mouth roughly moaning a few unintelligible words._

_Still maintaining his impassive and emotionless face, even though he wanted to vomit there and then together with the wildly disgusted Kyuubi, Naruto endured and crept inside of the room with unsurpassed stealth. Still keeping his hand on the knob, Naruto patiently waited for the right time to 'close' it, with his eyes averted away from Homura, of course. What he saw was something no man or woman should EVER see._

"_Rrgghaa! I'm… coming… Koharu-chan!" Homura moaned roughly, not noticing Naruto as his eyes were closed.

* * *

_

The result of that sentence was VERY funny. 

Naruto and Sasuke ran outside the house, and promptly spilled their lunch out of their guts.

Shikamaru was frozen.

Neji was turning green. VERY green. He ran out to join Naruto and the Uchiha.

All of the girls (including Tsunade) fainted.

…And the author was left alone.

All alone.

"…Um…" The Former PrinceofDDR said, looking at all of the people left. He tried waving his hand in front of Shikamaru.

No response.

He tried to dump water on the girls so that they would wake up.

Nothing.

He…well, he didn't even think to bother the rest of the boys, because he knew that they reacted the same way HE did when HE read that nightmarish sentence.

"…Well…it appears that I…am the only one left standing. Huh. Well, I would go to a break, but…I know how long you've all waited for this chapter, so I'll just add in my OWN replies about what happens for the rest of the chapter! How hard could it be?" PrinceDDR said. "Okay, here we go!"

* * *

_Deciding that enough was enough, Naruto promptly slammed the door of the Hokage's Office with an extremely loud bang, making Homura jump in surprise and his little partner in 'crime' to meet the end of the desk with a loud thud._

"_Wh-what the—" Homura stammered, finally noticing Naruto. Instantly, undefined fury released itself from his deepest pit of wherever he gets his anger from. " UZUMAKI! What in the world is the meaning of this?" Homura roared in anger, but slightly paled as he realized, 'Uzumaki is here.'_

_From underneath the large Hokage's table, one Utatane Koharu emerged from behind the desk underneath, slightly rubbing the top of her head that seems to have a small, red bump on._

"_What are you— Uzumaki-san! What in the world are you doing here!" Koharu shrieked. Naruto noticed the amount of shock and surprise from her voice. Nonetheless, he kept calm and spoke in his monotonous voice._

"_Mission was a failure, Koharu-san. It seems that there were no bandits present in the road the mission had specified." Naruto reported, tightly clutching the clothed something on his hand._

"_F-failed? Are you sure there were absolutely no bandits in the area?" Koharu uttered in disbelief. Homura raised a slight brow, and slowly turned into shock, as he finally knew what Koharu meant.

* * *

_

"Oh man, those two are in SO much trouble!" PrinceDDR said. "I hope they get what's coming to them!"

* * *

"_Yes. Within a Five-mile radius, there were no signs of any hostile life, aside from local animals and such." Naruto answered in mild boredom._

_Koharu and Homura began to glance at each other with worried looks, clearly present on their faces. Naruto noticed this and grinned at what he knew the two were panicking on and on about._

"_Is there… something of the matter?" Naruto inquired innocently, though he knew what the real problem was._

_The two old elders flinched from Naruto's voice and faced the ever-so-calm blonde and that strange something being held by his callous hand._

"_Ah…n-nothing. Well, it is all right Uzumaki-san. You are dismissed." Koharu answered shakily._

_Naruto slightly raised a brow, but bowed anyway and turned his back from the two. His hand opened the wooden door out of the office, but stopped short on the doorway and calmly started to unwrap the object in his hands from it's dark orange and purple coverings._

"_You know Utatane-san, Mitokado-san, out of all the things I hate the most…" Naruto started, and in the skip of a heartbeat, slammed the object on the table of the Hokage with unseen speed, making the two elders shout in surprise at the sudden ferality Naruto was emitting._

"_**It's definitely assassinations**." Naruto finished with a wild growl._

_Calmly releasing his hand on the object, he rose up and walked out of the room and closed the door with a light 'kshack.' But before he completely went out, he mentioned a light 'Good day.' to the two shocked elders behind the desk of the Hokage. After all, Naruto was not a barbaric beast, was he?

* * *

_

"Now THAT, is Bad-Ass behavior," PrinceDDR commented, chowing down on some Mozzarella Cheese sticks that he typed up.

* * *

_Homura was the first to recover from the sudden action Naruto had done, finally registering what the wrapped object was._

"_I-it's Sawagejou…" Homura croaked out._

_And indeed, what lay standing tall on the desk of the Hokage was S-Rank Missing Nin, Sawagejou Chou's cleanly decapitated head, his tall, broom-like hair all mussed up by Naruto's grip, the whites of his eyes were the only presence left inside those two lifeless orbs accompanied by the ash white colored, bloodless visage that was his face._

_Koharu was at a loss for words at how the so-called 'dead-last' of the century had not only defeated, but also completely annihilated one of the most dangerous ninja's in present history without as much as a battle scar on him, or disfigurement to go. The information overload was too much for her, prompting the old woman to a dead faint.

* * *

_

"HA! Eat THAT, you old bastards!" PrinceDDR cheered.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Jukebox: Alone; Naruto soundtrack._

_Naruto, minutes after the mission debriefing._

_The narrow alleyway Naruto had took instead of the regular roads he took, kept off all the unnecessary noise and usual horseshit the villagers dealt to him on a secondly basis. Even with the nifty surprise that he and Kyuubi had cooked up for the two crap bags, Koharu and Homura, had worked without a flaw, he was still unsatisfied and the unreleased rage that he had kept bottled up inside of his inner being was utterly consuming him like Chouji on a Korean Barbeque buffet. From the neglect of his so-called 'sensei' during the days of Team Seven, to the total injustice every person in Konoha had done to him. It refused to leave him. Always there; always watching._

_He unconsciously tightened his fist at the mere recollections of such thoughts, falling deeper into the need for someone to disembowel with his bare hands just to vent out his anger._

_The afternoon light embraced the blonde jounin as he passed by a metal fence and the greenery of the nearby playground just beyond, had entered his line of vision. From across the fence, numerous joyous squeals of delight and fun raided his ears. Taking a slight glance, he saw many of Konoha's little toddlers playing the games normal kids their age would play. Seesaw, slides, tag, and building up sandcastles with their caretakers, it was a scene of innocence that even touched the cold and callous Naruto's heart into forming a slight smile._

'_I wonder how it felt like…' Naruto wondered vaguely.

* * *

_

"So sad…" PrinceDDR said, blowing his nose with a typed up hankie. "I don't know what the so called, 'MR. Angst' was thinking. This author CAN right good Angst."

* * *

_He nearly left the area near the playground, but stopped as he heard a very frightened shriek from inside the playground. Taking a slight double turn, he looked again to see what was the cause of the fearful cry._

_From a tall, 7 meter tall Konoha brownwood, was a little crying girl hanging just by her little arms from one of the tree's tallest branches. The children below were crying and pointing while some of the non-shinobi caretakers didn't even notice the distress of the child._

_Her hands slipped, and she fell. All time had stopped in that small split second.

* * *

_

"OH NO! Naruto, catch her!" PrinceDDR pleaded, eyes wide.

* * *

_Acting fast, Naruto immediately pulled himself to a Funnu no Hiraishin, frying the top of the fence he had jumped over and rushed directly to the spot where the girl was falling. It took only a moment's heartbeat for the girl to land on Naruto's waiting arms, who was using chakra on his feet to stick himself up the tree trunk with relative ease._

_The girl slowly opened her tear stained eyes, only to meet themselves with Naruto's own, cold and emotionless ones. Her eyes widened, and her mouth gaped open in shock._

_For the first time in a very long time, a look of worry had crossed Naruto's face. 'I guess she'll cry and tell her mommy about how the demon tried to eat her or something.' Naruto scowled, but all doubts were erased as the girl had done the unexpected to him._

_She had embraced him! Her hug was chaste and simple, and so pure and innocent from all the darkness Naruto had witnessed throughout his Sixteen years of living._

"_Th-thank you so much, Nii-chan!" The little girl cried on his shoulder. Somehow, deep inside Naruto's cold and black heart, a small tingle of fuzziness reacted from within him like that strange feeling you get from being praised for a noteworthy deed or something. It was weird… But Naruto didn't mind.

* * *

_

"Yay, Naruto did it! And it looks like he made a new friend!" PrinceDDR cheered.

* * *

_Carefully dropping down from the tree, a woman in her twenties rushed towards Naruto and forcefully grabbed the girl from his arms. The woman looked at him with a glare and the same little voice Naruto had heard all the while from the beginning of his time in the world._

"_You monster! Don't you dare touch my child!" The woman screeched.

* * *

_

"Oh, great. Another one of those &#!$# villagers," PrinceDDR growled.

* * *

_The little girl frowned and spoke up._

"_But Mama, Nii-chan saved my life when I fell from the big tree! Stop being mean to him!" the little girl protested. Unknown to the two, Naruto actually smiled at that.

* * *

_

"Yeah, you tell 'em, little girl!" PrinceDDR shouted. "I wonder if the girl will become an important in this story later…"

* * *

"_Hmph. You better listen to your child's words, lady." Naruto remarked icily, beginning to walk away from the now growing crowd of caretakers and children._

"_And what in the name of Kami says I should listen to you?" The woman shot back with more venom evident in her voice._

_Naruto stopped and faced the woman. "Take a look at me and you'll get an answer. You so-called people are the ones turning me into a monster." He said solemnly, jumping over the fence and continuing his idle walk, leaving the confused children and their coldly guilty caretakers behind. But inside his mind, Naruto's thoughts were contemplating at the girl who defended him, the demon, from her own flesh and blood. Her own mother. It was truly outrageous and unheard of!_

…_But still, something inside of him couldn't help but cease his overwhelming urge to kill the inhabitants of the Leaf village, and to serve divine punishment left and right._

"_**And why is that?" **Kyuubi demanded out loud._

'…_It's because I have something worth protecting and fighting for.' Naruto said simply._

_Throughout his walk back to his apartment flat, not a word came out of Kyuubi shortly after that._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"Yay! That was a great ending to a great chapter!" The author said. "Okay, I hope you liked this chapter. I had a blast writing it! And before I close this chapter down, it's time to announce the new choice that you can vote for! 

**A Character Death/Tragedy fic!**

"That's right! This is the new fic choice that you can choose from! (Sorry for those who were hoping that Uchihacest would be the choice, but I'm saving that for later.)" PrinceDDR whispered to the readers. "And the good news is, if you've already voted, you can switch your vote to this story type if you want. And you won't even need to add a quote! But let me warn you that if this fic choice wins, then the story will get pretty serious for a while. In other words, the 'General' label of this story will kick in, and the 'General' will become 'Tragedy' until the story they read is finished."

"And with that, this chapter is over! Don't worry, the characters will be back to normal by the next chapter. …I hope. And I will announce the winner of the voting! Until then, catch you next continue!"

As the lights fade, PrinceDDR's voice can be heard saying, "Let's get a medic-nin in here…"


	14. Special Intermission!

Ah, it's nice to be writing again! I'm back! And with a new chapter to boot! It's going to be another Intermission. But unlike the others, this one will have multiple parts to it, and it WILL contribute to the Main Story when it's finished! See if you can figure out how, before the chapter ends.

And before I forget, the Winner of the Voting is Naruto Harem! Congrats to everyone who wanted that fic! I've already got three fics I'm thinking of choosing between, but I have to get the permission of the three authors before anything else happens. If I do get permission, then I'll put them up for you to vote on at the end of the next chapter! Wish me luck!

Now, without further ado, here is the next Intermission!

* * *

There's Fanfiction about Us!

The Special Multi-Chapter Intermission! Naruto Fanfics 101

Chapter 1: What makes a Naruto Fanfic?

After the whole, Koharu/Homura line incident, most of the Shinobi and Kunoichi that were reading the Fanfic had to be sent into intensive care to wipe the images out of their heads.

Well, most of them except for Naruto.

Since he had the Kyuubi within him, he was able to heal much more quickly, and get rid of the mental images better. So, since nobody else was around, he took it upon himself to take care of the Laptop until they were better.

"Wow…" Naruto said to himself as he looked through the various Fanfiction. "There are so many types of Fanfiction out there! I should make my OWN Fanfiction! But where would I start?

Then, just as if the Fanfic Gods had heard him, Naruto stumbled upon a peculiar Fanfic.

* * *

_The ingredients to writing a fanfiction_

_But fanfics are fanfics... They will be loved. They will be cherished. And now, for the first time, they will be made fun of._

_

* * *

_Naruto didn't pay much attention to the Summary as he did to the title. 

"So, this will teach me how to write a fanfic? Sweet!" Naruto cheered. He clicked the link, and began to read the chapter.

* * *

_Introduction_

_sum fanfix writerz write lyk diz...-  
Some use big words like repercussion and instigation, and capitalize, too.  
some haves really bad grammars they use run-on sentences alot.  
Some fnafics aer so ful lof typos taht thyr eamlost impossiblet ot reade  
Some...fanfics...have...too many pauses...and dots,...mostly...the translated...fanfics...  
Narrator: Some fanfics are in script form; I don't know why.  
Some beautiful smart innocent fanfic writers use too many, too too many long unnecessary unimportant words to describe nondescriptive plain ordinary things.  
Some repeat things over and over. Some repeat things over and over.  
Some (KAPOW!) have (CH-CH-CHRAWWW) sound effects (HOWWWWWL).  
Some. Are posted. Chapter. By chapter.  
Some are posted all at once, the whole fic, yes the whole fic, all in one big post.  
sOmE pEoPle eVeN dO tHaT weIrD cApiTalIzIng tHing...aNnOyIng, iSn'T iT?

* * *

_

"Okay, so I shouldn't write like that. Got it." Naruto said.

* * *

_But fanfics are fanfics...  
They will be loved.  
They will be cherished.  
And now, for the first time,  
they will be made fun of.

* * *

_"Cool. I'll get to learn how to type a fanfic, AND get a good laugh!" Naruto exclaimed.

* * *

Chapter one: There's no need to put these lyrics in, but hey! I'm currently obsessed with this song, so why not?

**_You're giving me too many things, lately._**

**_You're all I need (ohhhh)._**

**_You smiled at me, and said, (echoing) and said, and said…_**

_Naruto walked around the village, trying to find a place where he could have peace and quiet, to just relax and do some simple stargazing. He was never the type of person to sit down and observe the stars, he knew it, but he just needed it right then.

* * *

_

"This sounds interesting…" Naruto muttered to himself as he kept on reading.

* * *

_**Don't get me wrong, I love you,**_

_**But does that mean I have to meet your father?**_

_**When we are older you will understand**_

_**What I meant when I said no. (accent on the 'n')**_

_**And maybe, some things aren't that simple!**_

_Naruto grimaced when it echoed in his head again. The thing he was trying to run away from. The reason why he was trying to find a place to sit down and just clear out his mind.

* * *

_

"I wonder what the thing that I'm trying to get away from is," Naruto wondered.

* * *

_**When you walk away, you don't hear me say**_

"_**Pleeease," oh baaabaay…**_

_**DON'T GO.**_

_Naruto finally found a lake and sat down on a rock beside it, looking up at the sky full of twinkling stars. It echoed in his head again.

* * *

_

"WHAT echoed in my head again?" Naruto said, beginning to get a little annoyed.

* * *

**_Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight._**

**_It's hard to let it go._**

_It was that song that Sakura had sung to him the other day. The annoying Pop song with the nonsense lyrics that made absolutely no sense. Pop songs were always hard to get out of his head.

* * *

_

"Oh, THAT'S what's stuck in my head! The Pop song." Naruto said, nodding his head in understanding.

* * *

_**Hoooold me,**_

_**Whaatever lies beyond this moooooorning**_

_**Is a little later on.**_

_He tried to clear his mind, but it wouldn't work. The song kept going. And going. And going. Just like how a Pop song never ends. In your head, at least. That's what Pop artists were probably aiming for; if they've got a song stuck in your head for eternity, they've succeeded._

_**Regardless of warnings,**_

_**The future doesn't scare me at a… all!**_

_Naruto shut his eyes tightly, a vein popping out of his forehead in frustration._

_**NOTHING'S LIKE BEFORE!**_

"_ARGH!" Naruto yelled. "DARN YOU, JAPANESE POP ARTISTS!"

* * *

_

"Note to self. NEVER put in random songs during the fanfiction. …Even more so if they have NOTHING to do with said fic," Naruto said, as he wrote it down in a note pad.

* * *

_Chapter two: Suddenly the future_

_Naruto's mind was thankfully cleared, and he was just about to leave for home, when he saw something come out of the bushes. A figure, to add to that. And not just any figure: it was a person. A ninja. A friend. A rival._

_Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

_

"Aw, man! I thought this story was going to be all about ME!" Naruto whined.

* * *

"_What are you doing here?" Naruto asked accusingly._

_Sasuke just shrugged. "I GPS'd my way over here. Wanted to listen to my iPod without distractions."_

_Naruto's jaw dropped. "How the hell'd you get a freakin' iPod?"

* * *

_

"What's an iPod?" Naruto said as he scratched his head.

* * *

"_Dobe, every freakin' person walking in the village has one." Sasuke snorted. "I doubt you even have a simple computer."_

"_Hey!" Naruto shouted. "I so do have a stupid computer, thank you very much!"_

"_And I suppose it's one of those ancient Windows Ninety-five's, hmm?" Sasuke smirked._

_Sasuke was damn right, he had a Windows Ninety-Five. So what if he had an ancient computer? As long as he had the internet, right?

* * *

_

"Damn right!" Naruto said. "…What's a Windows Ninety-Five anyway?"

* * *

"_Hey, what's the point of having a computer, anyway?" Naruto suddenly asked. "I mean, we write all our documents on scrolls, and we're supposed to train, not surf the net. We're ninjas, for god's sake!"_

_Sasuke blinked. "I dunno. Never thought about that."_

"_And if we have computers, then the enemy should have guns, right?" Naruto said smartly. "And since they don't, it doesn't make sense for us to have all these gadgets that ninjas don't, and never will, have!"

* * *

_

"Ha! Beat THAT logic, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto said with a smug smile.

* * *

"_True, true." Sasuke nodded. Suddenly, he took out a gun from his pocket and shot Naruto in the shoulder. A piercing scream filled the air, and the blonde fell to the ground backwards. "But you never know… even if the enemy doesn't have a gun, the ally might…"

* * *

_"Okay… don't put things in the fic that would not exist in the current timeline," Naruto mumbled, writing it down. "…Wait. DID SASUKE-TEME JUST SHOOT ME?-!"

* * *

_Chapter three: Sap, sap, sap… and angst. DRAMA!_

_Sasuke's smirk slowly faded away when he realized what exactly he'd done. He started trembling all over and the gun slipped out of his hands, landing with a quiet thud on the grassy earth below. He glided over to his fallen comrade, taking less steps and more time to make it more dramatic._

"_Naruto…" Sasuke whispered, his words being whisked away by the wind. When Naruto didn't answer, tears started to form in Sasuke's eyes. He shut them tightly and punched the ground beside the blonde. Bangs shielded his eyes from view, like a torn veil guarding a great secret. "Damn it… I'm sorry…"

* * *

_

"You BETTER be sorry, bastard! You just SHOT me in the story!" Naruto raged.

* * *

_Suddenly, the raven-haired boy felt something cold and wet hit his pale cheek. Sasuke lifted his finger and touched the liquid on his cheek, observing his finger once he had finished taking a sample of the strange substance. A droplet of glistening, crystal, shimmering, beautiful water was on his finger. And on his arm. And on his leg. And on his forehead. And on his hair. And on his ear. And on his toe. It took him, and the readers, about three seconds before he realized it was raining. Just his luck._

_Darnit, Sasuke thought, gritting his teeth, Just my luck.

* * *

_

"Note to self, rain makes everything more dramatic," Naruto said, writing it down.

* * *

_Sasuke cried and mourned for his fallen comrade while the heavens poured down on him. Raven bangs swayed gently to the wind, impersonating a veil that had been torn apart suddenly and ruthlessly, even though the 'veil simile' was already mentioned.

* * *

_"…ANOTHER note to self. Never use similes too close to each other," Naruto said.

* * *

"_Naruto…" Sasuke whispered._

"_Naruto…" Sasuke moaned louder._

"_NARUTO!" Sasuke all but shouted, his voice shaking with so emotion, it would make anyone cry if they heard.

* * *

_

"Make the dialogue full of passion and sorrow, check," Naruto said, still writing in his notepad.

* * *

_But no one was around._

_No one at all._

_Except Sasuke._

_And his fallen comrade._

_His fallen Naruto._

_With the ugly orange._

_Jumpsuit.

* * *

_

"HEY!" Naruto shouted in offence. "Why does everybody have a problem with the color orange?-!"

* * *

_Chapter four: Where you can tell that the author had just read a book or a seen a movie with someone talking like this_

"_BWAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto shouted, sitting up and laughing his head off at a surprised and shocked Sasuke. The storm flew away suddenly, due to the sudden new style of the author that was just about to reveal itself._

"_You fell for it! I can't believe you bloody fell for it, man!" Naruto shrieked, another fit of laughter released._

_Sasuke frowned, his eyes tearless now. "That wasn't funny, man! That wasn't one bit funny at all."_

_Naruto smirked. "Dude, you know it was funny. You were cryin' your eyes out, man! Man, what a baby…"_

_Sasuke punched Naruto, the blonde falling into the grass. "Yo, wake up, dude. It wasn't that bloody funny."_

_Naruto suddenly stopped laughing and sat up. "Yeah, yo. Yeah, I know, man. I'm sick of laughing, dude. What's bloody next?"

* * *

_

"... … … …Okay…" Naruto said. "Note to self. NEVER write like THAT."

* * *

_Chapter five: Where everyone suddenly knows Japanese, due to the original series written by Japanese person, and the simple fact that it was a manga, which is Japanese, by the way._

"_KUSO!" Naruto blurted, making Sasuke blanch._

"_What the hell was that about?" Sasuke said loudly. Sometimes, the blonde could be really loud. Actually, no, that wasn't true. The blonde was always loud._

_Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. I just felt like saying a Japanese word in this obviously ENGLISH fanfic."_

"_Nani?" Sasuke said incredulously. Naruto was so weird. "You really are a baka…"_

"_Teme!" Naruto screeched. "I dare you to insult me again!"_

"_Usuratonkachi!"_

"_Che!"_

"_Onegai!"_

"_Nani?"_

"_Banzai!"_

"_Er… neko!"_

"_Bishounen!"_

"_Bishoujo!"_

"_Hentai!"_

"_Doujinshi!"_

"_YAMERO!"_

_Sasuke and Naruto ceased their showing off of Japanese words, and both looked up at the newcomer. Their eyes widened when they saw the dark, very very random, person standing mere feet away from them._

"_Oni-san…"

* * *

_

"Okay… some Japanese can be good in a fic, but too much will NOT work…" Naruto mumbled to himself.

* * *

_Chapter six: Where you display everyone's thoughts with different signs, so that it becomes way too confusing._

_(Sasuke/thought/_

_Naruto:thought:_

_Itachi: -thought-)_

_/Dammit, where did Itachi come from/ "Itachi, why are you here?"_

_-Well, well, if it isn't my dear brother?- Itachi smirked; Sasuke glared. "I'm just checking up on my little brother."_

_/Yeah right, he's checking up on me./ Itachi's smirk widened, almost as if he could read Sasuke's mind. /He hates my guts./_

"_I thought you hated my guts." Sasuke growled._

"_Not really." -What am I doing here?-_

_:What's he doing here:_

_-I guess I just felt like something was going to happen here-_

_:I guess he came for me. He's in Akatsuki, right:_

_/Seriously, what the hell is Itachi doing here/_

_-Really, I can't read their minds or anything. Why do they keep on---_

_/--standing there? Is he going to just stare at us all day, or is he going to--/_

_:--attack me! Please don't! I'm too pretty to--:_

"_DIE!" Sasuke screamed, leaping forward with a kunai. -Jeez, really, when's that guy gonna get it through his thick head that he can't beat me?-_

_:Sasuke's stupid. Even I know that he can't beat Itachi.:_

_-I blocked your attack easily, brother-_

_/He blocked my attack easily! Shit, he's good/_

_:Ramen…:_

"_Ha." -Stupid kid.-_

_/More like, your mom says 'ha'/_

_-I wish Sharingan could read minds.-_

_:Ha, it's all silent here:

* * *

_

"Only use ONE thing that indicates that people are thinking," Naruto wrote down.

* * *

_Chapter seven: Lights, camera, why the hell do we need it in script form?_

_Itachi: You're stupid._

_Sasuke: -glare- Shut up._

_Naruto: Ramen…_

_Itachi: Sasuke, I'm going to eat some cherries out of your internal organs._

_Sasuke: O.O WTFH?_

_Itachi: Oh, and just for the record, I'm not that creepy compared to--_

_Naruto: -- Orochimaru! -squealing, high pitched- Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, that weeiiiiirrrrdoooooooo!111one_

_Sasuke: More like, your mom's a weirdo._

_Naruto: -glances at Sasuke strangely- Sasuke, where'd you learn to be ghetto?_

_Sasuke: -bends his knees and starts moving his arms in a ghetto way- More like, where'd your mom learn to be ghetto._

_Naruto: SHUT. UP._

_Itachi: More like, your mom needs to shut up._

_Sasuke: Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Naruto got served!_

_Itachi: True dat, bro._

_Naruto: Okay, what the heck is going on here?_

_Sasuke: O.O Ah, we're repeating chapter four again!_

_Naruto: -incredulous look- What do you mean, 'chapter four'? Sasuke, what are you on!_

_Sasuke: More like, what's your mom--_

_Naruto: -font size seventy-two- SHUT UP!

* * *

_

Naruto looked ill as he read that. "Note to self. NEVER write a fanfic in SCRIPT format."

* * *

_Chapter eight: Now, the characters suddenly know they're in a fanfiction, and guess what? SURPRISE GUEST!_

_Itachi pursed his lips. "Sasuke, you must get stronger to destroy me. If you don't I shall surely chop off your head and serve it with meatballs to Kisame, soaked with your own blood. "_

_Naruto glanced at the camera, waving his arms around frantically. "Nothing to see or hear here, folks! Nope, nothing at all!"_

_Sasuke glared at his brother. "Itachi, I will kill you. And when I do, I'll serve you to the Hokage with parsley and gravy and make sure your blood is around all the decorations."_

"_Ahhh!" Naruto shook Sasuke's shoulders. "Stop it, Sasuke! You're scaring away all the readers! Now they're never going to review!"_

_Sasuke blinked. "Readers? Reviews?"_

_Itachi gasped. "Oh no, that means we won't be noticed anymore, and whatever we do, we will never be acknowledged!"_

_Naruto dropped to his knees and wailed, "Nooooooo!"_

_Suddenly, a random girl with big dorky glasses popped out of nowhere. "Don't worry! We'll still read you!"_

_Sasuke blanched at the horrific sight. "Who the heck--?"_

_Another girl popped in the strange fanfic. She had long, dark hair flowing graciously down to her hips, her hair tied up in two ponytails. Her dark, mysterious eyes scanned the area, making sure no one was there to see her. She failed at that._

_The girl swatted at the dorky girl. "You. Go away."_

"_Who're you?" Sasuke asked, raising his eyebrows._

_The non-dorky girl looked at Sasuke. "I'm the author of this fanfic. I make you do whatever you do."_

_Naruto ran up to the author and shook her shoulders. "Please, you've got to stop Itachi and Sasuke from beating each other up!"_

_The author shrugged. "Well, they kinda hate each other, you know."_

"_But still--"_

"_I will still read you!" The dorky girl blurted, then returned to her same still position, her eyes bulging and her gapped teeth visible._

_Naruto and Sasuke blinked at her. "Who's she?"_

_The author stood by the girl's side, placing a hand on her shoulder. "This is a reviewer. She has no life."_

"_Ah, I see." Sasuke nodded. "Like you?"_

"_Shut up."_

"_Anybody who spends their time writing stories about characters that aren't theirs, has no life and will never be successful if they keep on doing this." Sasuke explained._

_The author sighed. "I know. But it's addictive. Like a drug. Anyway, we must proceed. Onward to the next chapter!"

* * *

_

"NEVER act like the people in the fanfiction KNOW that they are in said fanfiction. Unless it's a humor story," Naruto wrote down.

* * *

_Chapter nine: OC's are really gross, OC's, I hate the most._

_The two girls disappeared just as suddenly as they appeared. Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto glanced around for a while, then stopped and all shrugged at the same time._

"_That was weird." Naruto said._

"_Well, at least they're gone." Sasuke shrugged._

"_I don't think I can stand another weird girl coming here." Itachi sighed, massaging his temples._

_An image emerged from the trees of the forest surrounding the lake. She had short raven hair, clothes exactly the same as Sasuke, and a hard expression on her face. When she spotted Sasuke, she gasped and grinned. The girl ran over to him and flung her arms around his neck. _

"_Noooooooooo…" Naruto wailed. "Another creepy girl! Why are girls so creepy and weird? Maybe that's why Sasuke doesn't like them."_

"_I heard that!"_

"_Sasuke-kun! I found you! You're really here! You're really alive!" The girl squealed, keeping the firm grip she had around his neck._

"_What do you mean, 'I'm really alive'?" Sasuke asked incredulously._

"_The massacre! The Uchiha massacre! I thought I was the only one who survived, but I guess you did, too!" The girl answered him cheerfully._

_Sasuke blinked. "Wait, now hold on just a minute." He managed to grasp the girls hands that were slowly suffocating him, pry them off his neck, and then step back a few steps to stand next to his brother. "You're an Uchiha?"_

"_Duh!"_

"_And you survived the massacre?"_

"_Yeah!"_

"_I remember very clearly only leaving Sasuke alive, little girl."_

"_Me, too."_

"_Sasuke-kun, you're so dumb!" The girl squealed. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Don't you remember who I am?"_

"_I have never seen you before in my life." Sasuke stated pithily._

_The girl clicked her tongue nauseatingly cutely. "Sasuke-kun, I spent all my afternoons with you when we were younger!"_

_Three… two… one…_

"_I'm your sister!"_

"_WHAT THE HELL?" Sasuke screamed, flailing his arms and stumbling backwards into Itachi, who caught him calmly._

"_Yeah, my name is Uchiha Kisara!" The girl then pouted as if she were the cutest thing in the world. She really didn't act like an Uchiha, like she claimed to be. "You really don't remember me?"_

"_No, no, no, no, NO!" Sasuke screamed._

"_Neither do I." Itachi said boredly. "And I think I'd know if I had a sister."_

"_Well, I'm your sister." Kisara said, placing both hands on her hips. "And there's nothing you can do about it! Ha!"_

"_Girls sure are creepy." Naruto whispered.

* * *

_

"Note to self. If I make an OC, then at least make it possible, and LIKEABLE," Naruto said.

* * *

_Chapter ten: "Sorry for the OOCness"_

_Out of surprise and shock, Sasuke-- the only one Itachi left alive-- took out a kunai and threw it at Kisara's forehead. She fell on the ground and died._

"_Phew, that scared me." Sasuke sighed._

_Suddenly Naruto came skipping up to him. He grabbed both sides of Sasuke's face and leaned in close to Sasuke. Sasuke gulped, a faint pink tinting his cheeks._

"_Naruto, what the hell are you doing?"_

_Naruto just giggled. Oh, dear god. Sasuke thought. Naruto did not just giggle.

* * *

_

"Yeah! I NEVER '_giggle!'_" Naruto said, nodding his head.

* * *

"_Sasuke-kuuun," Naruto moaned, leaning in closer. Sasuke was getting tired of hearing that. But that didn't stop his blush from increasing terribly._

_Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him forcefully away from the strange blonde. Sasuke looked up to see Itachi, his blood red eyes with so much emotion in them; Sasuke vaguely wondered if that was really Itachi._

"_Now, don't you lay one finger on Sasuke-kun." Itachi sang with a creepy smile on his face. Sasuke sighed. Sasuke-kun, again…_

_Naruto pouted, his big blue eyes swimming with emotion. "And what happens if I do?"_

"_Then I'll eat your head!" Itachi grinned, uncharacteristically not as violent as he was supposed to be. Itachi leaned in close to Sasuke's ear. "Sasuke-kun, I'll buy you ice cream if you cooperate."_

"_What the hell?" Sasuke blanched and ran away from both Itachi and Naruto. "What the hell is wrong with both of you?"_

_Naruto advanced toward the survivor of the Uchiha massacre. "We're only fighting over your love."

* * *

_

"OH. HELL. **NO.**" Naruto said slowly.

* * *

"_No, that's not true!" Sasuke shouted, pointing at Naruto. "You don't giggle."_

"_I don't?"_

"_And Itachi, you don't offer ice cream."_

"_I don't?"_

"_Stop acting like… not yourself!" Sasuke screamed. "It's creepy, makes no sense, and no one likes it! Why're you doing it, anyway?"_

"_Because it makes people confused!" Itachi said proudly, as if he were making a speech._

_Naruto clapped childishly. "Bravo, Oni-san! Here here!"_

_Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "This… is crazy."

* * *

_

"Okay, final note to self for now. NEVER, EVER, EVER have people be OOC. Unless, once again, it's for the humor," Naruto said to himself. "Well, that the end of this chapter! Now, on to the next…" 

"Naruto!" Sakura's voice came from down the hall. "Are you in here?"

"Darn!" Naruto said quietly. "Oh well. I'll look at the next chapter later. And after I look at all of the chapters, I'll try my hand in writing my OWN fanfic. I can't wait!"

"Coming, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, turning of the computer and heading for Sakura's voice.

* * *

And that's the end of this Intermission's first part! There will be four parts to go later on! Catch you next continue! 


	15. Kyuubi Arrives!

There's Fanfiction about us!

Written by: The FormerPrinceofDDR

_Summary: My 2nd Naruto fic. Shikamaru gets a laptop and discovers our website. Major OOCness!

* * *

_

I'm baaaack. Sorry it took me so long, but I'm trying to figure out which story to update next after this, my Pokemon/Naruto Crossover, or My Kyuu/Hina story. Ah well. Hope you like the next chapter! And I've got a bit of a surprise for you as well!

* * *

Chapter 15:

Kyuubi's arrival!

* * *

Naruto and the others had finally recovered from the horrible experience of reading about Koharu giving Homura a blowjob, even though they would never look at those two in the same way again. 

"UGH. They should REALLY put warnings about those types of things in the story," Naruto said.

"You're telling me." Sasuke replied, still looking a bit ill.

"Do we dare look at the next chapter?" Tenten asked.

"We've come too far to turn back now. We must persevere, and move on," Neji replied. "…after all, it's our **destiny**."

"…I thought I beat all of that stuff about destiny out of you at the Chuunin Exams," Naruto said dryly.

"Think again," Neji replied.

"And with that, let's get back to the story, everyone," Shikamaru said, turning back to the laptop.

* * *

_The frosty mists of the midnight atmosphere reigned free and abound all over the streets and skies of Konohagakure like pale shrouds and ghosts, innocently gliding all over the place with the lights of the pale white moon illuminating their hazy and smoke-like bodies. Silence and darkness competed with each other in dominance of who rules the night at a standstill competition of who gives up next… and neither side was winning either way._

_On the cold and gloomy roof of one modest and simple to the bone apartment lay Naruto, shirtless, yet wasn't fazed one bit by the cold mists and was reading a crimson covered scroll with burning enthusiasm, as if the material had put some sort of a trance on him. His eyes darted back and forth from one side of the scroll to the other, taking in every detail, every punctuation mark, and even down to the last hair of paper on the letters that it had started to cause a dry, stingy feeling to his unblinking eyes, forcing them to give in to their natural desire to blink. This was quite expected really, considering that Naruto had not given his eyes the chance to blink for the last ten minutes of reading.

* * *

_

"Damn. Naruto sure loves his scrolls in this story, doesn't he?" Tenten said. 

"As long as it has powerful Jutsu on it, Naruto loves ANYTHING," Sakura replied dryly.

"…I would REALLY take offence to that…if it wasn't so true." Naruto said.

* * *

_Using his thumb to jab out the excess eye crumbs out of his two murky orbs, he blinked twice, and firmly closed his eyelids and at the same time, washed over the annoying dryness with a good amount of eye moisture. Slowly opening his eyes, he glanced over to the crimson scroll, the endless streams of letters seemed to call out to him, begging to be read and be deciphered of their entrusted messages and secrets, but was firmly disappointed as Naruto rolled the scroll up, saving the rest of it's contents for another time.

* * *

_"Holy scrolls! Naruto NOT finishing a scroll? It's a sign that the world is coming to an end! Quick everybody, to the Ninja Bunker!" Neji declared, about to bolt. 

"Neji! Calm down! It's just a fanfiction. Not real life!" Tenten reminded him.

"…Oh…right…" Neji said, sitting back down on the floor, and looking sheepish.

"…And you like to mock ME? Pathetic Neji, just pathetic," Sasuke taunted him.

"I'll show YOU pathetic, you little…"

"Back to the story!" Tenten said, not wanting a fight to break out.

* * *

_He breathed out a smooth and misty sigh, slightly clouding his line of vision from the light, floating puff of white smoke in front of him. His thoughts felt so light tonight, holding so much experience from the out-of-the-ordinary events that collided with him just earlier this day. From pure bloodlust, to incomprehensible feeling of fuzziness, all in one day._

_Gazing high into the starless, moonlit sky, the midnight black clouds floated by like calm waves from the untouched seas, bringing a strangely simple comfort to Naruto. Even in such simplicity, such a thing was highly valued by the Kyuubi vessel; that's why he enjoyed spending quiet mornings free from the idiots of the world in solace and on his homey roof.

* * *

_

"Does Naruto have to be so dramatic in this story?" Tsunade said. 

"I know. That's MY job!" Sasuke said.

"…You're the Hokage in this story. You have nothing to BE dramatic about," Shikamaru stated dryly.

* * *

_The last clumps of the black clouds passed completely by, revealing the perfectly round outline of the brighter than usual golden moon, bringing a lunar fiasco of light into the streets and buildings of Konoha._

"_Hm…?" Naruto raised a brow._

_From beyond the horizon of cleared clouds, only a deep void of darkness came into view. Absolutely devoid of anything. It happens sometimes, as to what Naruto had observed from his previous nights and mornings lying under the moon, but at this particular moment that the beautifully clear sky made itself clear, a gut feeling inside of the blonde Jinchuuriki shivered a little harder than how it usually does at times._

_Sighing once more, Naruto jumped down and landed with unending grace at the cold cement of the apartment balcony and shuffled back into his room for some well-earned rest. Taking another look behind his shoulder, Naruto merely shook his head and continued back to his apartment._

"…_A storm is approaching." Naruto muttered, closing the door of the balcony behind him.

* * *

_

"I wonder if he means a REAL storm, or something else," Ino said. 

"Only one way to find out," Naruto said.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Jukebox: Daylight of Konoha; Naruto Soundtrack._

_The next day… 1:30 P.M. Sakura and Sasuke's P.O.V._

"_Mmm! It feels so good to be going back, right Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked cheerfully to her red and white-robed lover, companion, and Hokage from the roof of the carriage the two sat on._

"_Yes. Three days felt such a long time." Sasuke agreed, letting the wind of the beautiful Fire Country trees seep into his deep breaths._

"_You said it! I'm practically eager to start doing my Jounin-level missions now!" Sakura exclaimed, hugging his arm tightly. "Thank you so much for promoting me again, Sasuke-kun! It was so kind of you to give me training too!"_

_Sasuke smiled genuinely and warmly to the pink-haired jounin. "You're welcome, Sakura." Unknown to Sakura though, the reason that Sasuke promoted her was not out of favoritism, nor for the many services she provides, but for her unending care and kindness she shown to him when they were younger; from the time Sakura had stopped his first Curse Seal outbreak, to having the compassion and the bravery to at least attempt to stop him when he tried to leave Konoha. And add the fact that he had witnessed her skill in hand to hand combat, together with her medic skills, such a woman with both inner and outer strength with beauty to boot, were the keys that gave away Sasuke's attraction to Sakura.

* * *

_

"M-maybe this is the s-storm that the F-fic-Naruto was talking a-about," Hinata stuttered. 

"Maybe so. It looks like Sasuke-kun has changed for the better in this fic." Ino said, slightly jealous that SHE wasn't the one with Sasuke in the story.

"Yeah, and the bastard is getting everything he wants, as usual," replied a bitter Naruto.

"Don't be jealous, Naruto! You're pretty strong in this fic too! Not as strong as Sasuke-kun and I, but still pretty strong!" Sakura said.

"…You're not helping, Sakura-chan." Naruto said, lightly glaring at her.

'**And this is why I always tell you to give up on that pink-haired witch,' **replied a deep voice in Naruto's head.

'_What the…? Kyuubi?' _Naruto said, startled.

'**Who else would it be? Elvis?' **The Demon Lord replied sarcastically.

'_Why haven't you spoken up until now, ya furball?' _Naruto replied.

'**Well, I've decided that I've been waiting TOO long to show up in this fanfic. So I decided to just… pop up.'** Kyuubi replied.

'…_Fanfic?' _Naruto replied, titling his head a little.

'…**Never mind, idiot. You'll be hearing a lot more from me in the next chapters. Anyway, your friends are calling you.'**

"Naruto? NARUTO!" Sakura shouted, bashing him over the head.

"OW!" Naruto exclaimed, rubbing his head. "What was that for, Sakura-chan?-!"

"I was trying to say sorry for that comment about you not being as strong as Sasuke-kun or I in this story, but you were ignoring me!" Sakura huffed.

"Oh. Sorry, Sakura-chan. I was…occupied." Naruto said.

Sakura and the others stared at Naruto for a second, and then turned back to the story.

* * *

"_Hokage-sama? We're nearing Konoha at exactly five minutes." A bored-sounding voice from behind them informed to the Hokage._

"_I see. Thank you, Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke mentioned, softly leaning his head on Sakura's._

_Kakashi's single eye widened a little in surprise at the unexpected honorific, and decided to have a little bit of fun from it. "Oh? Since when did you call me sensei, Sasuke-**kun**?" He teased._

_Sasuke shrugged an arm lightly. "I don't really know myself. I guess it just came out."_

_At hearing this, the silver-haired jounin smiled from behind his mask. "Do whatever you please then." He said, taking a seat at the edge of the carriage and resumed his engrossed read of Icha Icha Paradise._

"_Right." Sasuke grinned. Never had Sasuke as much, GRINNED ever before, but he did. It was strange, but the light and happy feeling felt so nice, so… perfect, that he felt even Itachi doesn't have the power to take it all away._

_He was the leader of his village; he had strength that he felt was more than enough to take the whole world and his Aniki in front, head on. And best of all, he had felt love, something that his heart tore away from and stepped on so many years ago._

_Yep. Life was great._

'_And Konoha, I'm coming home.' Sasuke thought, finally seeing the small dot that was the gates of Konohagakure.

* * *

_

"Oh, GAG ME. I liked it better when Sasuke was Emo," Neji said in disgust. 

"You're just jealous because I've got everything in this story… and you got your ass kicked by Naruto in the first chapter," Sasuke replied, with the Uchiha-smirk.

Neji had nothing to say to that, so he just glared at the Uchiha.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Ichiraku Ramen Stand_

"_So how are you these days, Naruto?" Iruka asked to his former student, chewing off long and thick strings of noodles from his steaming Beef Ramen._

_Naruto glanced at his chuunin lunch buddy and answered: "… A little of this, A little of that." He said, pausing a little and took a light sip from the broth of his third bowl of Miso Ramen. "Nothing special, I guess."_

"_**If you think seeing old human sex is nothing disgustingly special, then consider me speechless, kit."** Kyuubi muttered sarcastically from Naruto's mind.

* * *

_

EVERYBODY flinched at that line. Including Sasuke and Neji. 

"…Damn. And I was SO close to forgetting all about it!" Naruto shouted.

"We all were Naruto. We all were." Shikamaru replied.

* * *

'…_Don't remind me again, idiot.' Naruto answered back to Kyuubi, shivering from the mental image he had just received._

_Iruka, ever so observant, noticed this and asked of the issue. "Anything wrong?"_

_Finally noticing Iruka's concerned and slightly bewildered look on him, Naruto snapped out of his reverie and slowly reverted back to his usual, unemotional self._

"_It's nothing." He waved off, gesturing Ichiraku Teuchi for another bowl of ramen, who simply nodded and got back to the boiler in preparing his number one customer's specially made Miso Ramen._

_Iruka raised a brow, but simply shrugged and took another bite of his lunch. "So, learned any new techniques lately?" He asked quite curiously, as his previous conversations with Naruto amazed the chuunin beyond belief of the things his former student told him that he had learned; from his self-made Sword style, the Six Spirals as Naruto put it, and a few medical jutsus that even Iruka himself would have a helluva difficult time learning._

_Finally receiving his quickly, yet surely made order of Miso Ramen, Naruto silently muttered a quick 'Itadakimasu' and answered Iruka's question. "Well, there is this one jutsu I've been practicing for a while. From what Jiraiya-sensei's scroll said, it is called—"_

_His final word was cut off as a bombardment of girls ran past the two, even hitting Iruka on the back of the head and sending his face to the soup of his ramen. Fortunately, Naruto's lightning fast reflexes helped in avoiding the raging rush of giddily squealing girls and helped in keeping his ramen intact, and his face dry, much to Iruka's chagrin.

* * *

_

"Ha, Ha, Ha! Poor Iruka-sensei! Ah well. Better him than me!" Naruto said, roaring with laughter.

* * *

"…_What was that all about?" Iruka groaned, wiping off the excess broth and veggies stuck onto his face with the tissue Naruto handed to him._

_Teuchi, the cook of the Ichiraku ramen stand spoke up. "Heh. Looks like Hokage-sama is back."_

"_Ehh? How'd you know?" Iruka asked, finally getting the last of the beef bits out of his hair._

_Teuchi shrugged. "Well, they **were **screaming 'Sasuke-sama' at the top of their lungs that it was pretty hard to not hear." He said nonchalantly while wiping the mess that used to be Iruka's meal._

_Iruka took a glance at the gathering crowd of girls at the faraway gate across the three and crinkled his nose a little in disapproval. Those girls really need to watch where they swing their arms, really.

* * *

_

"Ah, yes. Fangirls. The bane of every Emo-prodigy's existence. They are the sole reason that you don't see that much of us anymore," Sasuke stated. 

"For once, I can agree with you, Uchiha," Neji replied. "…But I'd much rather have Fangirls instead of Fan**boys**."

"EVERYONE would, Hyuuga. EVERYONE would."

* * *

"_Whatever then." Iruka remarked. "Well, I have to get back to work. Guess we'll just talk about your jutsu next time, eh Naruto?"_

_Naruto glanced at his chuunin father figure and simply nodded with a small smile to go._

_Iruka smiled back and waved a goodbye to him. "See you later then!" He said, and promptly Shunshin'ed himself back to the Academy, leaving Naruto to his own at the ramen stand._

"_Hmm…" Naruto hummed slightly, and simply went back to eating his most favorite food in the world: Ramen._

'_So… the lecher, the slut, and the bastard are back, huh?' Naruto thought, taking a small slurp of his Miso Ramen. 'I wonder what this day shall hold…'_

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"Oooohhh, by the sounds of it, there will be conflict in the next chapter. I can't wait!" Tenten said. 

"Me neither. I'm looking forward to Naruto putting Uchiha in his place," Neji said, smirking evily.

"Keep dreaming, Hyuuga." Sasuke replied coolly.

"About what?" A voice from the door said.

The friends turned towards the door to see all of their sensei and remaining team members standing in the door way.

"What have you all been up to?" Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow.

* * *

Andddd, DONE! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and the little surprise I gave you at the end! And now, it's time to reveal the Harem fics you can choose from! They will be underlined. 

But he's just a ramen chef!

All For One!

From Ramen with Love

The Dichotomy of Kazama Naruto! Featuring Female Kyuubi!

These are the four choices you have. For those of you thinking, "WHAT?-! No True Power?-!" I didn't put it up for two reasons.

1: The Author of the story never contacted me to tell me it was alright to put it up as a choice.

2: If I used that fic, I'd have to rate this fic MA instead of M. Especially because of the Naruto/Tsunade Lemon.

So, there you have it! These are the choices that you can choose from. I hope none of you are disappointed by the list.

You can vote as much as you want! But remember, for each vote, you have to leave a review! I look forward to the results! Well until next time! Catch you next continue!


	16. The Gangs almost all here!

There's Fanfiction about us!

Written By TheFormerPrinceofDDR

_Summary: My 2nd Naruto fic. Shikamaru gets a laptop and discovers our website. Major OOCness!

* * *

_

Hi, everybody! Surprised to see the next chapter out so early? Well then, I've got good news! Starting right now, I'm going to try and update this regularly, meaning that I'll try and update this every 1 to 2 weeks. Wish me luck! Here's the next update! 

**Warning! There is some strong language in this chapter! If you don't like this, then wait until the next chapter. You. Have. Been. WARNED!

* * *

**

_Last time on 'There's Fanfiction about us!'_

"_Oooohhh, by the sounds of it, there will be conflict in the next chapter. I can't wait!" Tenten said. _

"_Me neither. I'm looking forward to Naruto putting Uchiha in his place," Neji said, smirking evilly._

"_Keep dreaming, Hyuuga." Sasuke replied coolly._

"_About what?" A voice from the door said._

_The friends turned towards the door to see all of their sensei and remaining team members standing in the door way._

"_What have you all been up to?" Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow.

* * *

_

Chapter 16: Nearly everyone is here!

* * *

"Hey, everybody! What are you guys doing in here?" Kiba said. 

"We've been waiting for you to get back from that picnic for about two hours," Shino monotoned.

"Neji, Tenten, where have you guys been?-! We must get back to our youthful training!" Lee said…youthfully…while doing the Nice Guy Pose.

"We thought you may have been captured by rouge ninja, you were gone so long," Asuma put in.

"Or that you had a LOT of food at the picnic," Chouji said, scarfing down his bag of endless chips.

"So we decided to come looking for you guys," Kurenai added.

"And make sure that your youthfulness hadn't been extinguished!" Gai said, joining Lee in the Good Guy Pose.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said, staring at Gai with teary-eyes filled with awe.

"Lee!" Gai replied, staring at Lee with teary-eyes filled with pride.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sens…"

"ANYWAY," Kakashi said, not wanting to hear anymore. "Care to tell us what you were doing?"

"We were looking at this website on the internet called 'Fanfiction dot net,' Naruto said.

"It has Fanfiction for all sorts of things." Neji continued.

"But more importantly, it has Fanfiction about all of US!" Sakura said.

"REALLY!" the people who just showed up said.

"Yep!" Tenten replied.

Nothing was said for a few seconds.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"CHARGE!" Kakashi shouted out suddenly.

Kakashi, Shino, Kiba, Kurenai, Lee, Gai, Chouji, and Asuma all made a mad dash for the computer.

Tsunade, anticipating this, appeared in front of the Ninja with her arms outstretched.

"Anyone who touches this computer besides Shikamaru and me will be stuck with D-rank missions for life!" She threatened.

That stopped the Ninja cold. No matter how much they wanted to read stories about themselves, they would rather DIE before they did a life time of D-missions.

They had already dealt with that damn cat, Tora, in the past. They did NOT want to relive that again if they could help it.

"Say, what story are you reading anyway?" Asuma inquired.

"It's called, 'The Broken Butterfly.' It's a story about Naruto becoming all dark and anti-heroish," Ino explained.

"Naruto? An Anti-hero? This I gotta see," Kiba said, taking his place near the computer.

"I cannot even try to think of the youthful Naruto-kun as evil! I must see this story, in the name of youth!" Lee declared with fire in his eyes as he sat down too.

"That's the spirit, Lee!" Gai cheered, sitting next to Lee.

'_Hmmm. I've always wondered what Naruto would be like if he let the hate of the villagers get to him,'_ Kakashi thought as he sat down without a word.

The others all expressed their interest in the story, and sat down to read it.

"Well, now that the gangs all here, let's get back to the next chapter," Shikamaru said, turning back to the computer.

* * *

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Flashback to 9:00 A.M. earlier that day…_

"_Nothing?" Naruto asked. "Absolutely nothing at all?"_

_Shikamaru sighed for the umpteenth time that minute. Even with his magnificent mind that was armed with a glorious 200 beyond of IQ, he never understood why Koharu of the council elders chose him to be the replacement for the Main distributor of missions. With a ton of Chuunins, Jounins and ANBU to choose from, why was it that he was the one that was chosen to put up with so many of the distribution responsibilities, and of the troublesome demands for additional pay for returning Shinobi, **and** for other million troublesome predicaments he was thrown with this morning. Most specifically this one.

* * *

_

"I would NEVER take such a troublesome job. I'd rather deal with that demented cat, Tora, all day," Shikamaru declared. 

"LIAR!" Everybody present in the room shouted at him.

"…Yeah, you're right. Compared to dealing with that hellish cat, this would be a dream job," Shikamaru said.

* * *

"_Yes, Naruto. There aren't any missions available." Shikamaru stated dully, feeling the incoming headache of headaches to come along at any time now…_

"_You sure? Not even a C-Rank's available?" Naruto asked skeptically._

"_YES, Naruto. Nothing at all." The tired chuunin groaned. He was really getting tired of this._

_Still unbelieving of his lazy bum of a friend whom he thinks that he didn't even bother looking for a mission, Naruto took it upon himself and rummaged around the desk Shikamaru was on. From the stacks of papers on top of the desk, which turned out to be nothing but useless paperwork, to the cabinets beside the chair that contained a large stack of Icha Icha Violence? Whether or not that was Shikamaru's, Naruto will never know. Aside from that, he found nothing at all._

_Naruto slithered his hand to his chin, calculating the hidden possibilities at his current situation while Shikamaru merely stared at him with those two tired eyes of his._

"_So… nothing at all?" Naruto started._

_Shikamaru sighed loudly and dropped his aching head on the makeshift pillow that was his arms._

"_**Yes already!" **The lazy chuunin groaned from underneath. He really needed an Aspirin right now._

_Naruto scowled at how rude Shikamaru was, but simply dismissed it for the fact that he was **always** like that.

* * *

_

"I am NOT always like that," Shikamaru said indignantly. 

"Yes you are," Ino said.

"Give me one example," Shikamaru said.

"I'd love to, Shika-kun, but with so much to choose from, we'd NEVER get this story done!" Ino retorted.

* * *

"_Humph. Whatever." Naruto muttered, walking out of the mission center and leaving Shikamaru to his own lazy self._

_The noise of the twin doors traveled to the now lone chuunin behind the mission center's desk. He breathed another deep sigh and thought of the same thing, all the while keeping his aching head on his two folded arms._

'_Why's life so troublesome?' Shikamaru wondered as his mind lulled toward the comforting invitation of sleep._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"This author got Shikamaru down to the last detail," Kurenai said. 

"Definitely!" Ino, Chouji and Asuma agreed.

Shikamaru just glared at them.

* * *

_Present time, 1:32 P.M. Ichiraku Ramen Stand._

'_This sucks…' Naruto thought irritatedly, taking another bite of noodles from his fifth bowl of Miso ramen. Of all the days to run out of missions, it had to be today._

_Days like these pissed off Naruto to no end. The only times that he had peace for himself was either when he was on missions, alone and in thinking, or when he had someone to talk to that didn't hate him, or he didn't hate, either way. And that list was pretty short._

_For a while, training and an occasional spar sates his hunger for an activity to do. But that gets old real quick, for the fact that nobody was of any challenge to him since Chou and Jiraiya. And both were either busy being dead, or peeking at bathhouses with stealth Ninjutsu… and being beaten out of the place soon after.

* * *

_

"Speaking of which, I should have Shizune make sure that that old perv isn't doing that right now," Tsunade remembered. 

_Meanwhile, at the bathhouses…_

Jiraiya sneezed suddenly.

"I…sense…a disturbance!"

"Get your own damn lines, Jiraiya! (1)" Shizune said from the Hokage Tower.

* * *

_Finishing his bowl of Miso ramen, Naruto thanked Teuchi and Ayame, leaving an extra tip for two of his most favorite people._

"_Five bowls only, Naruto?" Teuchi asked disappointedly. Usually, his once hyperactive customer chugged down loads of ramen, reaching up to either twenty on breakfast, and lots more on lunch._

"_I guess… Been a bit dull lately." Naruto answered, fixing the two scabbards of Murasame and Yasatsuna onto the triple stacked belt he got a little recently to accommodate the new addition to his arsenal.

* * *

_

"Wait a minute. Naruto has THREE swords in this story?-!" Kiba shouted. "This is bogus!" 

"Deal with it, dog-boy! This is MY story!" Naruto told him with the Sasuke-smirk on his face.

* * *

"_I see…Please take it easy then, Naruto-kun." Ayame uttered gently. Knowing what happened to Naruto a few weeks ago, she made sure that her most number one patron would feel happy and cared for, as she also knew of the damage depression can do to most people. She was quite surprised as her father when they had noticed that he had changed his loud and cheerful voice into something more quiet and subtle._

"_I will, Ayame-chan." Naruto replied with a smile._

_Waving a little back to the duo, Naruto walked out of the stand and to the plaza, and eventually, into the waiting glares of the villagers._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

'_So even in fanfiction, the village still loathes Naruto…' _Kakashi thought, frowning under his mask. 

"W-why does the village hate N-Naruto-kun so much…?" Hinata said to herself.

Kurenai, hearing her, turned and gave her a small smile to reassure her.

'_Don't worry, Hinata. One day, you'll find out the truth,' _Kurenai thought. '…_I just hope you still feel the same way about Naruto afterwards…'

* * *

_

_Somewhere…_

_The aura of the afternoon calm in the forests of Outer Konoha mingled about with the flora and fauna nearby. The rustling of the Konoha Brownwood leaves provided a tune of originality, giving life to the silent garden of life._

_From a small opening from under a tree, one little rabbit popped its light-brown head out in search of food. Hopping out into the open, the furry critter sniffed the air about. Little by little, information of the surrounding are telling him that no predators were present, and that the food around was perfect for feasting._

_Bending its head down and opening its buck-teethed mouth, the rabbit got a first taste of the green grass of the forests._

_But as the roots left their place from the soil, a presence alerted the rabbit and prompted it to turn around and only to meet…_

_An incoming pair of giant, sickle like fangs and two yellow reptilian eyes that was no doubt, of a giant snake's._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"Man. Sucks for the rabbit!" Kiba said. 

"You're telling me!" Tenten said.

* * *

_Orochimaru watched in mild fascination at his snake, busily helping itself on some unfortunate brown rabbit. The critter was quite stubborn, as the snake Sannin had observed, never giving up in staying alive and wildly thrashing about inside his large snake summon's stomach. A few seconds passed… and the thrashing died down to twitches._

"_Kukukukuku… How amusing." Orochimaru commented, his snake summon gliding around his pale white arm and to the insides his robe.

* * *

_

"It's that snake-bastard!" Naruto shouted out. 

"Hmmm, looks like he's near the village. I wonder what he's up to…" Kakashi said.

* * *

_A blur of purple and white materialized beside the snake sannin, forming the figure of an Otogakure Jounin. Saluting Orochimaru, he spoke in his deep baritone voice._

"_Orochimaru-sama, Platoons Fifteen to Thirty-Seven shall be arriving at One Six-Thirty hours at Point C. The Distraction Teams reported that the explosives and cannons should be ready at Seventeen-Hundred Hours. Platoons One to Fourteen are ready at your command." The Sound Jounin reported._

"_Very well… you are dismissed." Orochimaru muttered, never taking his eyes off the tranquil scene of the forest and of the well-planned ambushes his summoned snakes are doing to the fauna running about._

"_Hai!" The jounin saluted, and promptly disappeared from view and left the Sannin to his own business.

* * *

_

"Uh-oh. This is sounding like the Sound-Sand invasion day all over again. Only without the Sand," Neji said. 

"Not to worry, Neji. My Bad-Ass fanfic counterpart will EASILY take care of that snake-freak!" Naruto said, laughing in triumph.

"Okay, Naruto, you are letting this get to your head now. It's annoying!" Sakura said.

"**Ignore the witch, kit. Howl in triumph!" **Kyuubi encouraged.

* * *

_Minutes of watching the uneventful animal manhunts his summons were partaking themselves in, Orochimaru's stoic lips curled into a gleeful smile at the interesting fight he was currently watching between one of his summon snakes and a small red fox._

_Despite its size, the fox stood strong against the snake. It gracefully dodged each of its attacks and made its way to the snakes back, there giving it a wave of deep gashes from its naturally razor sharp claws. The snake couldn't stand the constant attack and slammed it's own body down in an attempt to shake off the valiantly fighting fox.

* * *

_

"Come on, youthful fox! You can do it!" Lee shouted. 

"You must win in the name of YOUTH!" Gai declared.

* * *

_It succeeded in removing the fox from its back, but the little critter rebounded back and sank its canines down the snake's throat, ripping out the flesh and scales in a brutal fashion._

_The snake writhed and hissed, thrashing about and seemingly gasping for breath. A few seconds later, it completely stopped and dispelled itself into a large puff of smoke.

* * *

_

"HURRAY!-!-!" The little guy wins again!" Gai and Lee shouted simultaneously.

"Look at the next sentence, Gai," Kakashi pointed out.

* * *

_The fox, battered and bruised, howled in its victory… But stopped short as hundreds of snakes shot out and ripped apart the unprepared canine into a million pieces of meat and bone.

* * *

_"…" Went both Gai and Lee. 

"…"

"…"

"…Ah well. You win some, you lose some! Hahahahahaha!-!-!" Gai laughed.

"You are so wise, Gai-sensei!" Lee said.

The rest sweat dropped, and returned to the chapter.

* * *

_Finished in their feast, the snakes quietly slithered into one common direction. From the small path of trees and into the insides of Orochimaru's robes._

"_Interesting..." Orochimaru commented._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Konoha, Naruto's Apartment._

_Walking over to his bedside table, Naruto retrieved the crimson-covered scroll he was reading the night before, and tucked the item away to the safety his pants' pockets._

_With absolutely nothing to do, the next best thing that the blonde jounin can do for the time being was simply to read._

_From the first time his true sensei, Jiraiya the toad sannin, had lent to him a real scroll of Konoha Jutsu, alongside some other paraphernalia that didn't involve porn and women, Naruto had developed a sort of a hobby from the things he had read.

* * *

_

'…_Naruto must not be very pleased with me in this story,'_ Kakashi thought.

* * *

_The ideas and opinions of other people and writers in the books, magazines, and scrolls fascinated the blonde into delving deeper and deeper into the more complicated and engaging subjects the people wrote about. The more and more he read, the greater his interest in reading grew._

_From Politics to the Funny Papers, Naruto had read them all. Even a few private articles about him and Kyuubi from a few stray tabloids, obviously written by some of Konoha's more… smarter individuals. But even those kinds of reading material are read wholly by the blonde._

_Why?_

_Simply for the reason that he liked the fun of basking in other people's stupidity.

* * *

_

"Who doesn't?" Neji said.

Everybody else nodded.

* * *

_Stepping out of his messed up pad, Naruto walked onwards to the western section of Konoha, towards the location of Training Grounds Seven. Reading and relaxing under the sun proved quite effective in blocking out the daily problems and idiocy he got from the villagers._

'_Glare here, glare there, screw you all because I don't really care.' Naruto thought, again meeting the same old thing from the people 'round. He really needed to teach these bastards soon a lesson they'll never forget.

* * *

_

"Wow, I'm a poet, and I didn't even know it!" Naruto said.

Everybody else groaned.

"Naruto, stop being annoying! That's Lee and Gai's job!" Sakura shouted.

"YEAH!" The Bowl-cuts agreed. "…Hey, wait a minute!"

* * *

_Minutes of walking later, and the noise of merry yells and gurgling from a wide line of stools and the humanity seated on them, came close to the blonde Junín's ears._

'_Hn… The bar.'_

_Many of the times Naruto walked on this particular route did he encounter numerous drunken brawls and shouting matches from the patrons of the fairly large shop. Most of them occurred at night, from what he observed from his apartment rooftop. But even at broad daylight, the more braver or probably more stupid drunkards of the place would do those things in front of all the villagers and shinobi to see._

_Naruto strolled into the foul-smelling, bitter odor of the bar, going past the place into his original destination: the training grounds._

_The minute he walked by, the loud and brash conversations of the barhoppers toned down into suspicious murmurs and sharp muttering as Naruto passed by. Nearly all eyes were scornfully focused on him as a glare, along with the usual spread of hateful gossip and false lies about him. Though some voice inside the bar that was loudly boasting about something he obviously had not a hand in doing, instead of going along with the group hatred of the people. Must've drunk a wee bit too much of whatever he's drinking to pass up on insulting the so-called demon._

_Finally, Naruto's feet reached past the area of the bar, and the loud conversations of the people and their clinking of glasses returned to life as his presence left their sight._

'_Hn. Much bette—'_

"_Nii-chaaan!" Naruto's train of thought was cut off by the loud and cheerful-sounding call._

'_That voice…' Naruto thought._

_Turning his head behind him, Naruto instantaneously recognized who's voice called him out, and a small grin formed from his face to who it was._

_It was that little girl he had saved from falling a few days ago. One of the few, living human beings that acknowledged him as a real person, and currently one of the only civilians that have his highest respect.

* * *

_

"Little girl?" Everyone but Naruto inquired.

"That must be the little girl that the author, Mr. Prince, was talking about," Naruto said.

"Mr. Prince…? Naruto, who are you talking about?" Shino questioned.

"Nobody. Just ignore me," Naruto said nervously.

* * *

_The girl was enthusiastically running and calling to him, waving happily towards the jounin. "Nii-cha— Aah!" She stumbled and began falling forward._

_It only took a split-second for Naruto to pull into the Funnu no Hiraishin and gently catch the shoulders of the girl and prevent her fall. The girl looked up and came face to face with Naruto's eyes, curiously studying her own in amusement. Her round and childish cheeks flushed a little and she let out a sheepish giggle._

"_Hello, Nii-chan!" the little girl greeted cheerfully from Naruto's arms. The blonde grinned and fixed her to a proper standing position.

* * *

_

Naruto smiled at that part. Unknown to him, so did Hinata, the Jounin, and Tsunade.

* * *

"_Hm… I see you are well." Naruto commented to her as he bent his knees and came to her height level._

"_Why are you here?" Naruto asked gently. Normally, kids her age didn't frequent this part of Konoha, considering it was part of the Red Light District and was nearby Naruto's home._

"_I saw Nii-chan walking alone… so I came so he wouldn't be alone!" She replied brightly and a little loudly for all the people 'round to hear. Still, Naruto couldn't care and simply continued to listen to her._

"_I see… But where is your mo—" Naruto was cut off by another voice. He remembered this one too._

"_Keiko, where have you been? I was worried sick!" One voice of a woman hollered in worry at the little girl known as Keiko._

_The woman approached the two and instantly stiffened at the sight of Naruto. Her eyes began to crinkle into that same everyday glare Naruto was already so used to. In fact, the blonde jounin could already read her movements and was actually anticipating what was coming._

_But in his total surprise, the woman's features softened. Her eyes still held distrust, but no hate. Cloudy yes, but not a storm was seen._

"_I… please pardon my child. She can be quite a handful sometimes." The woman said, gently placing an arm on Keiko's shoulder._

"_Wasn't a problem." Naruto waved off. He was starting to like this lady.

* * *

_

"Oh, BARF. This story is getting WAY too sappy now," Kiba snorted. Akamaru barked in agreement.

Just before they felt a huge wave of Killer Intent coming from Naruto, Tsunade, the Jounin, and even HINATA.

'_What did I say…?_' Kiba thought as he and Akamaru hid in his jacket, shaking in fear.

* * *

"_I see… if it's alright, then can we leave now?" The woman asked politely._

"…_Yeah. S'alright." Naruto muttered. Turning to Keiko, he said in the same gentle voice: "Don't climb anymore trees, okay?"_

_Keiko simply smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "I promise!"_

_The woman smiled too. She firmly held Keiko's tiny hand and began walking out of the Red Light District, and away from the visible bars and brothels present._

"_Bye-bye Nii-chan!" Keiko waved back to Naruto._

_Naruto smiled and waved back a little to Keiko. For one thing, he was glad to see another person that wasn't wishing a death threat unto him in his day. Standing up, Naruto faced the direction of the Training Grounds and saw that all eyes, from the crowds and the nearby bar patrons were all on him. Some contained shock, others curiosity… and the rest was the usual.

* * *

_

'_Alright! Maybe things are starting to look up for me!'_ Naruto cheered in his mind

"**Look again, kit," **Kyuubi said.

* * *

_The hushed silence of the people accommodated their looks on Naruto, amplifying the sudden tenseness the atmosphere fell into._

_Suddenly, all the tense silence was broken by one loud boisterous laugh from one of the bar patrons._

"_Gwahahahah! The shithead demon's a fucking pedo!" The voice laughed. The people and Naruto all flinched at how loud this person was. But Naruto flinched completely for another reason.

* * *

_

Naruto frowned. _'Spoke too soon.'_

"**Look on the bright side, kit. Maybe you'll get to kill who ever said that," **Kyuubi said.

* * *

_A figure emerged from the crowd of barhoppers and out of the street came one wasted looking guy. His shirt was covered with dried rum stains and sauce from the foods the bar served. His burning red cheeks told everyone how wasted this guy was, and on his hand was a half empty bottle of beer._

_Naruto's face stayed impassive, but his teeth and fists were tightly clenched together at what that drunk just said about the relationship he and his precious person had. **No one **says anything against his most valued people. **No one.**_

_The man took a deep swig from the bottle and burped out loud. "Ghh, prob'bly fucks 'friggin men and 'lil boys too."_

_This time, Naruto's temper shot up significantly that he was already glaring and automatically emitting killer intent. The surrounding people felt it and stiffened at that sickening, twisted feeling. The same feeling you get when you already know when death will come for you. The same gut dropping, cold feeling you get before being given your announced time of impending doom.

* * *

_

"Can you say, 'dead man walking'?" Kakashi said.

"That most un-youthful person should be taught a lesson!" Gai replied.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be taught one. A very PAINFUL one. No one, and I mean NO ONE talks about my friends that way!" Naruto growled.

* * *

_The surrounding people tried hushing the drunk up, but he forcefully pushed them away and talked in the same slurred voice._

"_Bah! Gettha fuck away fr'm me, shi'heads!" He growled. When his vision came back to Naruto, he saw that his eyes were already blood-red and was scowling… no, the word did not describe the very epitome look of crazed bloodlust Naruto's eyes were plastered with. Every fiber of Naruto's being was screaming obsceneties and the tour de france of genocide, along with the raging encouragements Kyuubi was howling inside of him. But all those were but tinder that fueled the fire of the burner._

"_Hurh? Whazzis?" The drunk squinted. "Guhahahahha! Dam' demon's angry!"_

_The man took another swig of his beer bottle and began trash talking again._

"_Aww… Lil' bullshit demon's angry! Hahahaha!" The man slurred and drank his liquor again. "Why don't'cha go and cry on your kiddie girlfriend, huh? I'm shure sh'll make ya feel good! Gwuahahahaha!" The man laughed boisterously.

* * *

_

"This guy just WANTS a death-wish, doesn't he?" Ino said.

"I hope he gets it. People like that make me SICK," Tenten replied.

* * *

_The very fine line of Naruto's patience shattered at that point, and his eyes released their hold on their glare. Firmly closing his eyes and reopening them, Naruto looked behind him to see if Keiko and her mother were in hearing range._

_No one._

_No Keiko._

_No Keiko's Mom._

…

_Naruto smirked. The people saw this and simultaneously shivered at that creepy smile. It was… happy. Too happy._

_The guy noticed this and prodded on. "Hrh? Hey, retard demon! I'm fucking talking to ya!" Naruto faced him again and immediately returned to his impassive mask. The people nearly freaked out at his sudden change of emotions. "Yeah… look at me, y' piec'a shit!" The man spat out. Naruto didn't respond, but simply walked forward._

"_Huh? W'nna fight huh?" The drunk shouted and promptly smashed the glass on the nearby supporting pillar of the bar. "Br'ng it on demonshit!"_

_The man charged and tried smashing down the beer-bottle weapon on Naruto. The blonde effortlessly caught the drunk's hand and held it tight. He used his foot to sweep down his opponent's leg, tripping him forward and making him land on his stomach._

_Quickly acting, Naruto pinned down the man's arm with one foot and to the unadulterated, and extreme shock of the watching bystanders, did the brutally unthinkable._

_He pinned the arm down and literally **snapped **it clean from whatever was holding it from the elbow._

"_**AAAUGGHRAAA!" **The man screamed in pure, malevolent pain, totally recreating the new meaning of the phrase: 'A world of hurt.'_

_Many gasps and exclaimed curses of shock were heard from the gathering crowd of watchers and people around. A number were even shouting out calls to ANBU or any Shinobi to stop the incoming fight._

_Fight?_

_No, this wasn't a fight._

_To Naruto, this was Punishment._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"Ladies and gentlemen, the shit has just hit the fan!" Kiba proclaimed.

Kyuubi was smirking in his cage. **"Let the games begin…"

* * *

**

_Team 7, nearby the gates._

_Sasuke let out a content sigh. Finally able to convince his fangirls to kindly leave, he and Sakura, together with Kakashi were finally able to get peace from the hormone empowered little gremlins_.

* * *

"The day Sasuke is kind to his fangirls, even if it's just to get them to leave him alone, is the day I eat salad," Chouji said. 

"Ya got that right!" Naruto said, giving Chouji a Hi-five.

"Hahaha. Just remember who the Hokage in this story is, dobe," Sasuke reminded him.

Naruto glared at him.

* * *

"_I thought they would never leave…" Sakura remarked a little annoyedly. Kakashi simply nodded, and read on his little orange book._

"_Hn…" Sasuke responded. Sometimes, he couldn't understand why some of his subordinates think that having fangirls were cool._

"_Well, work awaits… See you later then, Sakura, Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke said a little disappointedly._

"_Aww… But Sasuke-kun…" Sakura started._

"_Don't worry Sakura… Work always has an end." Sasuke assured._

"_Promise?" Sakura asked with puppydog eyes._

_Sasuke simply laughed at his girlfriend's antics and replied. "Yes Sakura… It's a date at, uhh…" Sasuke thought, and said the next restaurant name that came on his mind._

"_Ichiraku's?" Sasuke tried.

* * *

_

"Oh, HELL no!" Naruto shouted. "That's MY place to eat. MINE!"

"Well, it's MINE now," Sasuke smirked.

"Don't make me delay chakra punch your ass again, teme (2)," Naruto growled.

* * *

_Sakura blinked, and shortly laughed at her boyfriend. "Ichiraku's it is then, Sasuke-kun! We would probably even see Naruto there."_

"…_Yeah." Sasuke responded. 'Come to think of it… I wonder how Dobezilla's doing…' From the last time the two met, Sasuke Chidori'd Naruto square on the chest. No doubt he was a little worried at how his friend may react to him, given he had abruptly returned just recently.

* * *

_

"I think that what Naruto's doing to the man would PALE in comparison to what he would do to Uchiha in this fic," Neji said.

"I'd have to agree," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_The two weren't able to continue as one ANBU came panting at the three's feet. He tried speaking, but was only able to sputter out a few incoherent sentences._

"_Woah, breath soldier, breath." Kakashi advised._

_Hyperventilating hard, the ANBU was able to get his breath back. He spoke with critical urgency at the three._

"_Hokage-sama! F-fight… Red Light District between villager…" The ANBU wheezed hard and coughed. " A-and between one Uzumaki Naruto!"_

_All three of the Shinobi's eyes widened in surprise. "N-Naruto?" They all exclaimed._

"_H-hai! He—"_

"_Why the hell didn't you stop him!" Sasuke shouted._

_If he didn't wear a mask, you would see the massively pale face of the scared ANBU. "But S-sir! He's blocking our forces with Kage Bunshin!" The ANBU answered quickly._

"_Wh-what?" Sasuke asked in disbelief. Slowly, that disbelief turned to anger. "Come on! Take me to that dobe!" the raven-haired Uchiha exploded_

_The ANBU was surprised at his Lord's outburst and simply complied, fearing that he might lose his head at another of the Hokage's outbursts._

'_Dammit… what the hell are you doing Naruto!' Sasuke thought angrily._

'_A Villager and a Shinobi? What is that dobe thinking?'_

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"And the confrontation is close at hand…" Shino said, adjusting his shades a little.

"This should be a real good Slobberknocker!" Neji said.

"Neji, you watch too much wrestling," Tenten sighed, shaking her head.

* * *

_Jukebox: Dullahan, Nightmare; Vagrant Story Soundtrack, Bombing Mission; FFVII Soundtrack. The Red Light District _

_Naruto picked up his pathetic excuse for an opponent by his shirt's collar and launched him into the air. When the flying mass of humanity came close to landing to the dirt floor, Naruto sent a powerhouse thrust kick on his opponent's body and sent the drunk flying across the tables and seats of the bar. The sickening cracks of broken bone and sinew reverberated all across the Red Light District, past the wild screaming of the ANBU to stop this… horrifying execution, and past the sea of cries of the people of faint heart._

"_Stop it already!" One of the ANBU shouted._

"_You really are a damn demon!"_

"_Monster! Monster!" One of the women cried._

_None of these entered Naruto's mind. Right now, he wanted… no, needed to give a taste of hell to this worthless piece of garbage a brain-dead monkey would even dare recognize as a human.

* * *

_

"Damn, Naruto's beating the _shit_ out of the guy!" Kiba exclaimed.

"And to think that this is only just the beginning…" Lee said, in horrified awe.

"Damn, I'm more ruthless in this fic then I thought…" Naruto said.

"**And that's not a good thing?" **Kyuubi said.

* * *

"_**Hell yeah, kit! Kill him! Destroy him! Crush him! Remember what he said of Keiko!" **Kyuubi roared in sadistic excitement. Even if his carrier had dramatically powered down the chakra he normally used in his attacks, Kyuubi loved the carnal pleasure of physically dismantling a human… slowly. And the best part was, the one doing the dismantling was his carrier, and that the bloodlust and the feeling of each sent punch and kick by Naruto, was felt by Kyuubi._

_Kyuubi's voice fueled the monstrous rage Naruto felt and intensified his need to rip apart his human punching bag._

_The extremely battered man had seen thousands of bar brawls and lived to tell each tale of how he was a survivor of each… But this… this was something that he may not even live through. He knew that single fact right now._

_He was endlessly wishing he hadn't taunted the demon brat in the first place.

* * *

_

"Shoulda, coulda, woulda, but it's FAR too late now!" Tsunade said.

"What's taking Sasuke so long to get there? Maybe he's afraid to fight Naruto!" Kiba taunted.

"Keep dreaming Dog-breath," Sasuke growled.

* * *

_The heavy thump of a boot entered the man's senses and snapped his head to the sound's direction._

_It was him, his tormentor… No more did he think of him as a demon. No more did he think he was even human._

_What he saw in him was Death itself._

"_N-no… please, **NO!**" The man cried in despair, but Naruto paid no heed to it. Tightly gripping the now-sober man's neck, he dragged his back on the wall and sent a flurry of punches to his abdomen using his free hand._

_The man choked on the mixture of blood and saliva inside his mouth and coughed the rest out all over the floor. This disgusted Naruto and prompted him to throw the villager's useless carcass rolling on the wide area of the road, cleared for them by the Kage Bunshins._

_The man panted hard, and saw Naruto's figure approaching him from the bar. Weakly, he tried getting up and run like hell into the crowd in hopes of losing him, but the overwhelming pain of all the parts in his body had sapped him of his will and energy to move his entire body._

_Naruto came close and firmly pinned the man down on the chest with his foot. His left hand reached behind him and to the hilt of Murasame. The man's eyes widened in fear at what he realized the blonde monster was going to do next. He was cryptically correct as the shining blade of Murasame graced the eyes of all the people watching._

"_Please… have mercy!" The man cried out in terror, his tears and his bladder all escaping the confines of his body.

* * *

_

"Yuck. I would have finished him off just for that," Sakura said.

"Me too," Tenten said.

"Me three!" Ino declared.

'…_Women can be so cruel…'_ the men thought, scooting away from them a little.

* * *

_Naruto emotionlessly quirked a brow and spoke._

"_Mercy?" He repeated. "Hn. Don't know the word." Naruto said flatly._

_The man's face paled at the blonde's answer… and resorted to the lowest, most pathetic form of being a man._

"_**NOOOO! Please, don't! Please, don't killmeee!" **The man begged in tears._

_Naruto snorted in disgust. "Hn. Take it like a man, garbage." He muttered coldly, gripping Murasame's hilt with both hands and promptly drove it straight to the man's neck._

"_**NOO!" **A new voice shouted. This time, in anger._

_The climax of the public execution was abruptly stopped by one furious Uchiha Sasuke, Hokage of Konoha, and the strongest Ninja of Konoha… or so they say. Both his hands were firmly gripped on Naruto's forearms to stop the descending stab of Naruto's sword that would totally kill that villager.

* * *

_

"Sasuke-kun to the rescue!" Sakura cheered.

"Why did you stop me, teme! I was this close to serving justice!" Naruto roared at Sasuke.

"Dobe, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. IT'S JUST A STORY!" Sasuke roared back.

* * *

"_Naruto… What the hell do you think you're doing!" Sasuke shouted in fury._

"_Giving him what's due, Teme. Now let go of me!" Naruto demanded and pushed an extra amount of chakra to strengthen his arms._

_Sasuke was surprised at the sudden burst of strength Naruto was showcasing. His arms began to feel weak as he was pumping all the chakra he can into his own arms. "This is murder Naruto! What did he even do wrong?" Sasuke roared._

"_He badmouthed someone important to me." Naruto responded coldly. "And anyone who messes with my precious people, Messes with me!" Naruto finished and doubled the amount of chakra he was pouring to his arms._

'_No! At this rate, I wont be able to match up his strength!' Sasuke panicked. He was not going to have the first death of one of his people caused by another from the same village. His Village.

* * *

_

"It'll be a cold day in hell before the village becomes yours instead of mine, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto declared.

"Naruto, it's just a… aw, screw it," Sasuke sighed.

* * *

_Fortune answered Sasuke as Sakura and Kakashi came and held back Naruto's arms. Sakura held back hiss forearms along with Sasuke, while Kakashi tried with everything he had to pull back Naruto himself._

"_Naruto… open your eyes! The guy's had enough!" Sasuke snapped. "Just look at him!"_

_Indeed, the guy was hyperventilating and was crying like a whipped dog. His eyes showed fear and the responses his body had done was proof enough that this guy was already at his physical limit._

_Pathetic._

"_This is justice. So let me go, **Now.**" Naruto growled._

"_Justice? Where Naruto, where the hell is the justice in this?" Sakura in turn shot back._

"_You're just killing someone, Naruto! You wont do anything but stain your hands with a person's blood!" Kakashi growled back._

_Naruto stopped. Abruptly. Carefully, all three of the two jounins and one Kage immediately dragged Naruto away from the quivering, battered villager. Sakura was the first to release her grip and rushed back to the beaten man to tend to his injuries. Her eyes widened in surprise and immediately, she used her new rank as High Jounin to command some of the ANBU nearby for additional medics._

_Kakashi was the next one to release his hold and immediately, he rushed beside Sakura and this time guarded the half-dead villager from any attacks Naruto might pull._

_Sasuke was the last to release his hold. The two teens were left staring at each other's eyes. Naruto's emotionless, cold and murky blue ones, against Sasuke's fiery red, Sharingan embezzled eyes._

_The tense atmosphere between the two was broken when Naruto snorted and calmly returned Murasame back to its scabbard. The blond jounin began to walk away from the scene of the crime and dispelled all the Kage Bunshins holding back the ANBU and the villagers._

"_Where do you think you're going?" Sasuke demanded._

_Naruto didn't answer. He muttered a lazy 'Funnu no Hiraishin.' And jumped high into the air. There he performed another Hiraishin and propelled himself out of sight._

"_N-Naruto! Come back here!" Sasuke shouted and began to chase after Naruto, but stopped as he felt a hand clamp on his shoulder._

_It was Kakashi._

"_Leave him alone… You've got more important things to do, rather than chase after one person." Kakashi said solemnly._

_Sasuke started to protest, but decided against it and just went along his teacher's suggestion._

_Meanwhile, Kakashi was having more different thoughts than the brutal incident._

'_It took two elite jounin and a Kage just to hold him down… And I bet my mask he was still holding back after that…' Kakashi thought as he watched the remnants of chakra disappear from Naruto's Funnu no Hiraishin._

'_Naruto… How strong can you truly be?' Kakashi wondered._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"I must be HELL of strong in this story if it took all three of you guys to hold me back!" Naruto said.

"Perhaps so, Naruto. Perhaps so." Kakashi replied.

* * *

_Naruto_

"_**Why the hell did you stop? You coulda taken that excrement out without any problems from those three!" **Kyuubi ranted. **"Care to explain why, Brat?"**_

_Naruto paused awhile and glided through the air with another Funnu no Hiraishin._

'_Simple. I got bored.' Naruto stated flatly._

"_**WHAT! You miserable excuse of an ant, how I oughta be the one to beat the living lights out of you!" **Kyuubi shouted and raged within his prison. Really, How much bloodlust did this fox need?_

'_Hmph. Do remember that what I had in mind in the first place was to read, not fight.' Naruto muttered dryly to his raging and ranting tenant._

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

* * *

_

"Yet another great chapter!" Naruto declared.

"Man, this story isn't bad at all! And you say that they've got a whole website dedicated to fic like this?" Kurenai said.

"Yep!" Said the others that were there first.

"That settles it. Training is over for today. We have just GOT to see more of these youthful stories!" Gai said.

"HURRAY!" The kids shouted.

* * *

And that's a wrap! I hope you liked it. Well, until next time, catch you next continue! 

(1). That part was inspired by 'Naruto The Abridged Series.' Check it out if you're a fan of Naruto. You will LOVE it.

(2). See the end of Chapter 8 to understand that one.


	17. Special Intermission: Part 2

There's Fanfiction about us!

Written By The Former PrinceofDDR

Summary: _My 2nd Naruto fic. Shikamaru gets a laptop and discovers our website. Major OOCness!

* * *

_

Okay, everybody! This is the next intermission chapter! And since you guys are insisting, I'll move on to the Harem story next chapter. And that means that you have ONE LAST CHANCE to vote! Hope you like this chapter! 

Chapter 17: Special Intermission: Part 2

* * *

Naruto had gotten some very good ideas from reading the Fanfiction, "The Ingredients to a Fanfiction," and had several ideas for a fanfic already. Some of them including Sakura falling madly in love with him, Sakura hating Sasuke and trying to kill him, and Sasuke getting violated by snakes. 

…Needless to say, Naruto didn't really like Sasuke all that much.

Anyway, he decided to read a couple of other fanfictions so that he could get inspired, and see what the reviewers liked.

He discovered that many great writers had things called 'Beta-readers,' which helped them make sure they didn't have mistakes when they posted a chapter.

Naruto truly wanted to become a great fanfic writer, so he decided to ask the smartest person he knew to help him.

Jimmy Neutron.

…

Just kidding. It was OBVIOUSLY Shikamaru.

"So, let me get this straight, Naruto," Shikamaru was saying to Naruto as they were going to the next chapter of the story Naruto was reading. "With all the fanfics that we've seen, you became inspired to write your own, right?"

"Right!" Naruto said, nodding his head.

"And you found a fanfic that will give you ideas on how to, and how NOT to, write fanfictions, right?" Shikamaru inquired.

"Right!" Naruto repeated, nodding his head again.

"And finally, you want me as a Beta-reader so that you won't make any mistakes, right?" Shikamaru said.

"Believe it!" Naruto said, not noticing the way Shikamaru cringed. "So, will you help me?"

"…How troublesome. Well, I've got nothing better to do, so I'll help you. But only on two conditions."

"And they are…" Naruto said.

"First off, you have to make me one of the main people in the fic."

"Deal!"

"And second off, never, and I mean NEVER say 'Believe it' again." Shikamaru said, glaring at Naruto.

Naruto, sweat dropping, said, "Okay, deal."

"Good. Now let's get to the next chapter," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_Chapter twelve: (A/N: Today, I had cheesecake)_

_There was a silence in the air, both calming yet irritating. (A/N: is that even possible?) All three boys glanced at each other, not knowing what was next._

_After many minutes-- "What're we doing?" Naruto said. (A/N: kyaaa, I love Naruto-kun!)_

_Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto and walked back over to him. (A/N: Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun should get together. They are hawt hawt bishies.) "Why're you such a dobe, Naruto?"_

"_Don't call me that!" (A/N: Really, Sasuke-kun!) _

"_I can do whatever I want, thank you!" (A/N: Really, Naruto-kun!)_

_Naruto puffed out his cheeks and was about to retort when (A/N: Sorry, you guys. I haven't been writing lately, because I was on a long, long trip to Africa with my family. It was so cool! Okay, if there's a place you have to go to, it's Zimbabwe. It's so friggin awesome, not just because it's got a name with a Z in it --how cool is the letter Z? -- but because it's in the shape of Homestar's head. You know, Homestar Runner? "Some folks say I'm a terrific athlete!" Well, if you don't know who Homestar is, which I doubt, go to Itachi disappeared.

* * *

_

"Okay, never interrupt the flow of the fanfic with trivial Author's Notes. Are you writing this down, Shikamaru?" Naruto asked. 

"Don't worry, Naruto, I am," Shikamaru replied, writing down the tip on a note pad.

* * *

_-----------------_

_Chapter thirteen: A typical SasuNaru, where they never say the people's first names and just use adjectives, plus they repeat things over and over again._

"_Hey, where'd your brother go?" The orange-jacketed-boy asked, glancing around. "He was here just a second ago. What happened? Does he do that often? Uchiha, do you know where--"_

_The tanned boy froze when he saw the pale boy sitting on a LONE rock, watching the waters softly ripple through the beautiful lake. The moon rested on the water's surface, shining its enchanting light on Sasuke's skin and face. The avenger looked like an angel, his body almost glowing. The kitsune boy gasped at how beautiful the-guy-sitting-down looked._

_Wait, what? That-guy-on-the-rock-that-I'm-not-supposed-to-say-his-name, beautiful?_

_Making sure for one last time if Itachi was nearby, the future-Hokage stumbled over to the LONE boy and plopped himself next to his friend. Friend? Was the-always-pissed-off-boy a friend? The smaller boy glanced at the taller boy out of the corner of his eye. A rival, yes, but was he a friend? Who knew? Whenever anyone asked him about their relationship, the blonde never knew what to say._

_All he knew was that their relationship was the strongest one he had ever felt._

"_What is our relationship, baka?" the LONE voice rang through the air._

_The spiky-haired kid froze, then sighed dramatically. "What does it matter?"_

_The raven-haired boy suddenly ticked. He grabbed the blonde by the shoulders and looked at him straight in the eye with so much emotion, it scared the other person senseless. "'What does it matter?'? 'What does it matter?'? 'What does it matter?'? **'What does it matter?'**? **'WHAT DOES IT MATTER?'?** I'll tell you why it fucking matters! You've been too dumb and clueless to notice, but I…" He suddenly froze in his random outburst, obsidian eyes widening. "Uzumaki, you… I…" The LONE look on the strange boy now wiped clean, Not-Kyuubi-but-kinda-close leaned in just an inch closer, eyebrows furrowing._

"_What, Uchiha?" The demon-vessel pursued desperately. "What are you?"_

_The bishie leaned in close to the whiskered-boy's face, making the fangirls scream like wild cats, but instead of landing his lips on the kid's lips, he hit the ear, concluding the fangirls' screams with disappointment, and starting the anti-yaoi girls' and boys' cheers._

"_Say something." The not-LONE boy whispered._

"_No."_

"_What? Why not?"_

"_Because every SasuNaru chapter ends with a cliffhanger."

* * *

_

"Okay, NEVER, and I mean EVER, write about me getting together with Sasuke. Oh, and cliffhangers are good every once in a while, but don't go overboard with them, or people will start to hate you for it," Naruto recited to Shikamaru, who wrote it down.

* * *

_------------------_

_Chapter fourteen: An all-too-censored lemon, written when the author doesn't want to sound too perverted, or if their parent is over their shoulder, reading everything they're typing._

_The person (oh, which one? YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.) touched the other person._

"_What're you doing?"_

_And then…_

_SOMETHING HAPPENED._

_But we cannot reveal it, no, we can't, because-- oh, look at that! Rated T, not M or higher! And someone said something, but we cannot reveal that, either, because-- oh hey, do you smell that? MY MEATLOAF IS BURNING! And what? What? Something's on the ground? But what is it? Well, we cannot reveal that, because-- ahh! Something's under my desk! And a single letter was repeated over and over again, but you'll never know which one it is, because-- hack cough cough cough cough cough. It could've been T, or B, or H-- YOU'LL NEVER KNOW._

_Never._

_Ever.

* * *

_

"If a story is rated T, then do NOT put the illusion of a Lemon, whatever that is, into the story. And if I DO a Lemon scene, make sure it is tasteful," Naruto recorded to Shikamaru. "But I don't get it. What does a piece of fruit have to do with how the story is rated?" 

"I'll tell you when you're older, Naruto," Shikamaru replied, blushing a little.

* * *

_-------------_

_Chapter fifteen: A typical ItaSasu, where everyone just happens to like Sasuke, and they repeat the word 'sin' a whole bunch._

_Sasuke ran away before Naruto could say anything. He ran into the forest surrounding the lake, and bumped into someone._

_He looked up. Oh dang…_

"_Hey, Itachi." Sasuke grumbled._

_Itachi suddenly grabbed Sasuke and pulled him close, their noses touching. "Sasuke, I love you."_

_Sasuke winced, not liking the close proximity between the two brothers. "Er, yeah, love you too."_

"_No, I didn't mean it like that."_

"_Huh?"_

"_Not like a brother."_

"_Oh."_

"…"

"_OH!" Sasuke, suddenly feeling very stupid, tried to free himself from Itachi's grip. "Eww, that's… sinful."_

"_I know. I'm a sin."_

"_Not really, because it's what you did that was sinful, not you."_

"_But I'm a sin, too."_

"_Why're you a sin?"_

"_Because… I dunno."_

_Sasuke raised an eyebrow, slowly nodding. "Okaaay, you're acting kinda… screwed-up."_

_Itachi spun around, bringing Sasuke with him. Sasuke yelped as he was flipped and widened his eyes at what was in front of him. Everyone was camping, at a clearing of trees. He could see all the genin of his year there._

"_You see everyone there?" Itachi asked. "They all like you."_

"_What? I mean, that's not hard to believe with Sakura and Ino, but not Kakashi."_

"_Well, he likes you. And you know that kid over there, looking bored?"_

"_Shikamaru?"_

"_Yeah, he likes you too."_

"_Uh, no, he doesn't!"_

"_And that girl over there? She likes you, too. And that guy over there. And that girl over there. And that squirrel. And that turtle. And that blanket. And that tree. And the sky."_

"_Itachi, you're high."_

"_I wouldn't doubt that."

* * *

_

"…" went Naruto. 

"…" went Shikamaru.

"…I don't even know what to learn from that little bit," Naruto said, scratching the side of his head in confusion.

"Me neither. And I'm the SMART one!" Shikamaru replied.

"Ah, well. Moving on!" Naruto declared.

* * *

_-------------------------_

_Chapter sixteen: The amazingly short chapter where it's only, like, six words or whatever, and I think they're not even allowed, but people still do them anyway, for some reason whatsoever._

_Sasuke walked into the camp.

* * *

_

"Make chapters at least three pages long," Naruto said, while Shikamaru wrote.

* * *

_------------------------_

_Chapter seventeen: A typical SasuSaku, where it's always the same thing. Watch this._

_Sasuke said hi to Shikamaru. Or someone. It's not important who he talks to. Whatever._

_Sakura glanced at Sasuke. She once loved him, but once she realized he would never love her back, she gave up on him._

_After about ten seconds, Sasuke wondered why Sakura wasn't latching onto his arm and asking about a date. He missed her company, and black eyes glanced through the area. Once he found Sakura, who had gone back ot talking to Hinata, he just randomly noticed how beautiful she was and started to like her._

_After about five seconds, Sakura noticed Sasuke was looking at her and started to like him again. She walked over to him and made out with him._

_The end._

_(seriously, guys, either make the stories interesting, or shorten it to twenty seconds)

* * *

_

"If I do a paring that has been done to death, then either make it short, or add a new twist to it," Naruto remarked, nodding his head. Shikamaru put that down as well.

* * *

_---------------_

_Chapter eighteen: Where they look up waay too much information on the characters._

_Naruto parted two bush braches with his palms, glancing around. He shook his head roughly, then moved to a different bush. He crawled around on the ground, sniffing the dirt. He climbed a tree, sniffing the air._

"_Naruto," Naruto peered down from a branch of a tree, to see a confused Itachi. "What the heck are you doing?"_

"_I smelled and sensed fresh vegetable!" Naruto called. "I hate those things!"_

"_Really? There's no information about me and my dislikes." Then he whispered, "They want to keep me mysterious and cool." Then he called again. "They didn't even record how tall I was! It says 'unknown' or something."_

"_Huh, that's weird."_

"_Yeah, but they've got all the information on Sasuke."_

"_What about me?"_

_Sasuke walked in on the two of them, returning from the camping party. He sniffed the air, then broke into a smile. "I smell a fish riceball. I love those things."_

_Naruto scowled. "What about the fresh vegetables? Can't you smell them?"_

"_And I smell red bean meatball sweet soup. That's what Sakura likes best." Then he scoffed at the air, flipping his hair. "I'm going on a walk. In case you don't know, that's my hobby."_

"_Have fun, mister one-hundred-fifty-point-eight centimeters!" Naruto shouted, then slid down from the tree, to land in Uchiha Itachi's open arms._

"_Let's go to the camp site." Itachi suggested.

* * *

_

"Keep the story simple without going overboard on details," Naruto said, as Shikamaru kept on writing.

* * *

_-------------------------_

_Chapter nineteen: The chapter that your little brother wrote without your notice_

_Itachi and Naruto whent to camp, Naruto still in Itachi's arms. They both saw everyone their and, everyone their saw them. Then suddenly, Itachi farted really loudly. Everyone laughed at him, but Naruto said that was how the guy greeted others. Itachi farted again, this time sooooooooooooooooo loud that all the trees behind him exploded. Pikachu came out of Itachi's fart and attacked everyone with Thunder. But Naruto killed Pikachu. But everyone was still fried and Itachi was still farting.

* * *

_

"Make sure Konohamaru and his gang don't get near the computer," Naruto said, as Shikamaru (who barely has any lines in this chapter) wrote on.

* * *

_----------------------_

_Chapter twenty: Where everyone dies by protecting the guy they love. Basically, the Japanese fics._

"_Ah! Shikamaru!" Ino cried, running to her teammate's side. She held his hand as she patted his hair with the other. There was blood all over it from the lightning bolt, and it seemed as if part of his skull had exploded. "No, Maru! Don't die on me!"_

"_Ino…" Chouji breathed behind her. "Look at that damage. He's… obviously gone."_

_Ino screamed then flung her arms around Shikamaru's neck. "No! How! Why? SHIKAMARU!"_

"_The only person that could've conjured up a lightning bolt would be Kakashi with Raikiri." Chouji guessed, the thought of an electric-type mouse generated by gas never coming to his mind._

_Ino ran to Kakashi in the speed of sound and punched his chest, but Sakura came to block him, getting knocked by Ino's fist to her nose. And with the amazing accuracy and power that was the effect of love, Sakura died._

_Kakashi took one glance at Sakura, then Raikiri'd Ino to her death._

_Chouji Meat Bullet Tanked Kakashi to his death, but Iruka came in and blocked it._

_Kakashi Raikiri'd Chouji to his death._

_Asuma threw a kunai at Kakashi's head, resulting to death._

_And five minutes later, everyone was dead. Except Naruto and Itachi._

"_Hey, I didn't do it this time!" Itachi noticed in surprise, smiling proudly at himself.

* * *

_

"And finally, never write THAT type of fanfic," Naruto said, as Shikamaru finally stopped writing. 

"Glad that's over," Shikamaru said, shaking his aching hand. "Doing all of that writing was so damn troublesome. Anyway, do you have an idea about what your going to name your story when you make it?"

"Well, I think it's too early to come up with a name, but I've got one in mind. It's called, 'Naruto: The True Copy-Cat Ninja!'" Naruto said with a smile.

"Not bad, Naruto," Shikamaru replied.

"Thanks. Now, what do you say to a break?" Naruto asked.

"Sure." Shikamaru replied, as the two friends went out for ramen.

* * *

And that a wrap! I hope you liked it. After the last three Intermissions, Naruto's story will make its debut! I hope you'll like it. Catch you next continue! 


	18. Naruto Harem! WTF! Part 1

There's fanfiction about us!

Written By The Former PrinceofDDR

_Summary: Shikamaru gets a Laptop, and discovers our website. Major OOCness!_

* * *

Yo, everybody! It's the moment you've all been waiting for! Drum Roll, please! 

'Drum Rolls By'

…That's not what I meant.

…ANYWAY, it's finally time for the Harem fic! Hinata, the envelope, please!

Hinata: Here you g-go, P-prince-sama…

Thanks, Hinata-chan!

Hinata: (Blushes)

Okay, (opens the envelope) and the winner is…

…

…

…

The Dichotomy of Kazama Naruto! Congrats to Thundereaper! Thanks for letting me use this story! And sorry to all the others that didn't win, but your stories are just as good! Better luck next time! Okay, at first, I was gonna try to have them comment on the ENTIRE first chapter in just one sitting. But just to get the next chapter out quicker, (and to save me a lot of headaches) I've cut it down into three parts, starting with this one! Hope you like it!

* * *

Chapter 18: Naruto Harem? WTF?-! Part 1

"This story is getting boring. Nothing exciting is happening!" Ino whined.

"…A Villager getting the living shit beaten out of him isn't exciting enough for you?" Kiba replied, raising an eyebrow.

"To be blunt, NO," Ino said while waving her hand. "We should see what other types of stories are out there!"

"No way! I LIKE this story!" Naruto protested.

"All the more reason to pick something else!' Ino growled.

"You're just jealous because you're not even MENTIONED in the fic!" Naruto growled back.

"How about this, Naruto. We'll pick another story, but it will still have you as the starring man. Will that work?" Shikamaru, ever the problem solver, said.

"Fine by me!" Naruto replied, nodding his head.

"What about you, Ino?" Shikamaru asked her.

"Whatever. As long as it's a new story!" Ino relented.

"Okay." And with that, Shikamaru began to look for stories with Naruto as one of the main people.

But then, an idea came into his head.

He thought that it would be really funny to see a Naruto and Hinata story.

He, like nearly EVERYONE else (except for Naruto) knew about Hinata's huge love for the blond ninja.

It would be SO amusing to see the look on his face when he saw a story about them getting together.

(**A.N: I know that this Harem fic isn't listed under NarutoXHinata (even though she IS part of the harem). I just couldn't think of a better way to lead up to them finding this story. Please forgive me!)**

After setting it up, Shikamaru began to look for the best story to have them read.

He found one…but what was in the summary was mind-boggling for him.

"WHAT THE HELL!-?-!" Shikamaru yelled out in shock.

The others, never knowing Shikamaru to lose his cool, went over to read the summary.

* * *

_What lies behind the Shiki Fuujin? Who is Naruto, really? Told from the Mizuki incident onwards, a new Naruto emerges, smarter, stronger, and better. Female Kyuubi. NaruXFemKyuuXFemHakuXTentenXHinataXIno. Rated M for language violence and later content

* * *

_"WHAT THE HELL!-?-!" The girls, except for Hinata and Sakura, roared. 

Hinata was too busy fainting to do anything else.

Naruto joined her a second later. But not before thinking, '_Fanfiction must love me!'_

Kyuubi was about ready to blow a gasket.

Sakura was just happy that she WASN'T in the harem. She thought of Naruto as a very good friend of course, but ONLY as a good friend.

And since Ino was in the harem, then her chances of ending up with Sasuke increased!

But she was worried about the part in the summary that mentioned the Kyuubi.

Sakura was one of the very few to know about the Kyuubi within Naruto, and NOT hate him for it.

For Naruto's sake, she had pretended to not know about the Kyuubi, despite the Dark Naruto fic just flat out SCREAMING that Naruto had the Kyuubi in him.

But both she, and Naruto (as well as the others in the room that knew about the Kyuubi being in Naruto), knew that they couldn't put it off any longer.

"So…let me get this straight. Naruto is going to end up with not one, not two, not even three, but FIVE GIRLS?-!-?-!" Kiba roared, looking very close to crying. "Even if this is just fanfiction, this is BULLSHIT! How come NARUTO of all people gets a harem?-! And more importantly, why does HINATA have to be a part of it?-!-?-!"

"Would Naruto even know what a Harem IS?" Asuma asked no one in particular.

"Do Pirates and Ninja get along?" Kakashi replied.

"Well, then how do you explain him fainting like that?" Kurenai questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"One of two reasons. One: he's been hanging around Jaraiya for TOO long, or Two: the shock of yet ANOTHER person knowing about the Kyuubi within him was so great that it was just too much for him," Kakashi whispered to the Jounin.

"…Now that you mention it, just HOW do so many people know about Naruto's youthful furry tenant?" Gai whispered back.

"What are you guys whispering about?" Shikamaru asked out of nowhere.

"Uhh…NOTHING! We weren't talking about anything! Certainly not about how so many people know about Naruto having the Kyuubi inside him, or anything like that!" Asuma blurted out.

"WHAT!" Everybody (except the people who already knew, Hinata (who is STILL out cold), and Naruto (same as Hinata), gasped.

"Oh, WAY to blow the secret, ASUMA," Kurenai groaned, giving said ninja a death- glare.

"That was MOST un-youthful, Asuma," Gai said, doing the same as Kurenai.

Kakashi simply shook his head in disappointment.

"I'M SORRY! I WAS JUST UNDER A WHOLE LOT OF PRESSURE!-!-!" Asuma shouted.

"…You weren't under ANY pressure whatsoever," Kurenai stated dryly.

"…Okay, I was just being random at the WORST time possible," Asuma shrugged.

"Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You say that NARUTO, the dead-last, the loser, the DOBE, has the most powerful of the tailed-demons INSIDE of him?-!" Sasuke said, dumbfounded.

"I'll make a deal with you, Sasuke. How about we look at this chapter first, THEN we'll explain it?" Kakashi bargained.

"…Fine. But I'm going to hold you to that, Kakashi," Sasuke replied. The others all nodded in agreement, and then turned to begin reading the chapter.

* * *

_Sleep didn't seem to be coming easily. It wasn't exactly surprising, considering the events that had taken place only hours before. After all, it wasn't every day that you learned that you had an extremely powerful demon sitting in your belly.

* * *

_"I still can't believe that Naruto, of ALL people, could have KYUUBI within him!" Chouji said, not scarfing down his chips for once. 

"Man, you think you know a guy…" Kiba muttered.

"To be honest, Kiba, none of us, except for maybe Hinata and Naruto's teammates, tried to learn about him all that much," Shino reminded him.

"Well, when we're done with this, I'm gonna try to learn a WHOLE lot more about Naruto!" Kiba replied.

The others didn't know weather or not he meant that in a good way… or a bad way.

* * *

_Just hours ago, he had learned that he was the container for __**the**__ Kyuubi no Kitsune. In a way, it wasn't nearly surprising as it should have been. In fact, if anything, it made him happy. It served to explain __so__ much about the young Nin's life, and the hell that he had endured for so long. The stares, the whispered, and not so whispered comments behind his back, and even to his face, calling him a 'demon' and a 'scourge', among other, more colorful adjectives. Yes, happy was about the closest emotion that he could attribute to his mood right now, but it didn't exactly describe his exact state of mind. No, to describe that, you'd have to look up the word 'pissed' in the dictionary.

* * *

_"Hell, I'D be pissed too if I found out a secret that nearly EVERYBODY other then myself knew. Even more so, if said secret were the reason my life was a living HELL!" Tenten declared. 

"Now, at least we know why Naruto went through what he did when we were kids," Shikamaru replied.

"So…how exactly are we gonna break the news to Naruto about finding out about his little… secret?" Ino questioned.

"…We'll burn that bridge when we get to it," Shino replied in his mysterious way.

* * *

_Naruto stared at his alarm clock, which read exactly 2:00 A.M. and let out yet another sigh. The whole situation was fucked up. Just, plain, fucked up. The more he thought about it, the more he became agitated, and even angry. Not at himself, and not really the Kyuubi…but at the village. It was a dangerous line of thinking, and Naruto didn't really want to dwell on it, but every time he tried to push it to the back of his mind, it popped up again, unbidden._

_They __knew__. They fucking __knew__. The village as a whole, at least those above the age of 14 or 15, __knew__ that he was the __**container**__ for the Kyuubi. They knew that the Kyuubi was __**sealed**__ into Naruto…the Kyuubi wasn't transformed, he wasn't somehow given a random human image and a human body, and some sort of uncanny acting ability to act exactly like a __human__ for all this time…he was __**sealed**__ into a human, and that human was just that…__**HUMAN**__. Regardless of this little __tidbit__ of information, they still treated him like trash. No, they treated him __lower__ than trash. They treated him as some form of life that didn't even deserve __existence__, let alone the ability to pursue the daunting task of being a human _

* * *

"…Damn. With how this author puts it, it makes you want to go outside and just kick all of the villagers' asses, doesn't it?" Kiba said. 

"I know what you mean. How could ANYONE think that Naruto, sweet, brave, courageous, dumb as a sack of hammers NARUTO, could be a vicious demon?" Sakura replied.

"I am NOT as dumb as a sack of hammers!" Naruto roared, zipping right back up to his seated position. Naruto's shout also managed to awaken Hinata.

He was about to continue ranting about how he was MUCH smarter then a sack full of hammers (or ANY other tool for that matter), until he saw the looks on nearly everyone's faces, and the apologetic one on Sakura.

"…I…guess I have some explaining to do…huh?" Naruto said, sighing.

"Yes. Yes you do. But we'll worry about that AFTER this chapter, dobe," Sasuke replied.

* * *

_Pushing away that train of thought, Naruto focused on the more positive aspects of the night. After all, the night hadn't been all bad. He'd helped root out a traitor, he'd mastered a Jounin level 'forbidden' technique, and he'd managed to graduate, all within the space of about 15 minutes. It was strange. Mizuki, who was obviously a traitor to the village, would probably get more general respect than Naruto would, even after…no, especially __because__ of this incident. After all, Mizuki had simply tried to kill the village's little demon boy, and he was simply grieving, or some such tripe…at least, that's probably how the council would see it. _

_The Konoha council. Quite possibly the most blatantly and unapologetically evil organization to ever exist within the walls of Konoha. From what very little he knew about their actions, he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they would have no compunctions about assassinating him. What's worse, the only thing stopping them from succeeding was the fact that they had to answer to the Sandaime…and he had forbidden it. He was alive at this very moment, all because the Sandaime had stuck up for him on multiple occasions. Naruto made a mental note to buy the old man some ramen sometime._

* * *

"…I'd have to agree with this author. I can't count the number of times the Old Man had my back. …Make's me sad that he's gone…" Naruto said, feeling a bit melancholy. 

"…I always knew that you had a close relationship with the 3rd, but I didn't know it was THAT close," Sakura said.

"Well, I think you'll more then likely learn a whole lot MORE about me by the way this story is going," Naruto replied.

* * *

_Naruto sighed again. The more and more he thought about it, there were precious few reasons for him to stay loyal to this abhorrent village, let alone __fight__ for it, save for the one promise he had made to the Sandaime. He had promised, when he was still young, oblivious, and impressionable, that he would become a ninja of Konoha. What's more, he had promised to the old man that he would protect the village with his life. Naruto was many things, but among them, he was __not__ someone who broke promises, even when there was a tremendous reason why he should. It simply didn't work that way._

_That didn't necessarily mean that he would fight for the village, though. There was no real reason for him to fight for anyone that lived in Konoha, save for the very, very short list of people that he considered to be precious to him. The Sandaime was easily at the top of that list, followed closely by the owners of Ichiraku ramen, Iruka and followed very, very __distantly by Uchiha Sasuke, simply because he was one of the first people to ever truly acknowledge his existence beyond that of simply, 'that demon boy' (A/N: think of that time that Sasuke and Naruto smiled at each other at that little pier)._

* * *

"...There was a time that you two were FRIENDLY with each other?" Ino asked Naruto and Sasuke. 

"Yes. Believe it or not, we were on good terms with each other back then," Sasuke replied.

"Why do you think I risked my life to save the teme from Orochimaru?" Naruto put in. "It's kind of a love and hate relationship between us. Only it's taken to the next level."

* * *

_Naruto glanced at his alarm clock again, and silently cursed. It was almost 3 A.M. now, and tomorrow he would be getting assigned teams. He needed sleep, and he needed it badly. He had to be at the very least __lucid__ tomorrow during the team assignment ceremony, and he wanted to be at least somewhat prepared for whatever came after that. It never really hurt to be prepared._

_Something clicked inside of Naruto's mind…if he couldn't find sleep, then perhaps he could find meditation. Sitting up, and positioning himself in a cross legged stance on his bed, he closed his eyes, and began…to…do…on second thought, Naruto had absolutely no idea how to meditate. All he knew was that you had to get in some stupid cross-legged position, close your eyes, and do something…like…centering yourself, or calming yourself…or something like that. Of course, he had absolutely no idea what the hell that meant, only that he had seen something like it on TV, or seen someone do it once. He had no real clue how he was supposed to…_

* * *

"Meditation: A State of concentrated attention on some object of thought, or awareness. It usually involves turning the attenton inward to the mind itself," Neji said suddenly. 

"And it is believed that there are 14 different types of meditation in all," Hinata added.

Everybody turned to look at them blankly.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"And NO, we did not get that from Wikipedia," The Hyuuga Cousins said, looking indignant.

* * *

_Naruto's train of thought was interrupted by what sounded like a low grumble emanating from his head, and then a sharp, excruciating pain that hit him in both his stomach, and in the back of his head at the same time. Naruto thought that perhaps he was under attack, until he noticed that there was truly no one else with him. The pain increased in both intensity and volume, and as Naruto saw a slight red aura envelop his body, his mind began to drag him into unconsciousness._

* * *

And that's it for the first part! I hope you liked the reactions, and that it was worth the wait! Catch you next continue! 


	19. Naruto Harem! WTF! Part 2

There's fanfiction about us!

Written By The Former PrinceofDDR

_Summary: Shikamaru gets a Laptop, and discovers our website. Major OOCness!_

Okay! Time to go to work on my most sucessful fanfic again! I hope you enjoy as always! Time for the next chapter!

* * *

_Last time, on 'There's Fanfiction about us...'_

* * *

_Naruto's train of thought was interrupted by what sounded like a low grumble emanating from his head, and then a sharp, excruciating pain that hit him in both his stomach, and in the back of his head at the same time. Naruto thought that perhaps he was under attack, until he noticed that there was truly no one else with him. The pain increased in both intensity and volume, and as Naruto saw a slight red aura envelop his body, his mind began to drag him into unconsciousness._

* * *

Chapter 19

Naruto Harem?! WTF?! Part 2

* * *

_The first thing he noticed was the smell. It smelled like fear. Scratch that, it practically reeked of fear…or something that sought to induce it. Naruto wasn't entirely sure that fear would produce a smell, but if there were to be a smell attributed to fear, this would be it.

* * *

_"What DOES fear smell like?" Naruto said, turning towards Kiba. 

"Why are you asking me?" Kiba said.

"Well, you have the super nose, don't you? Of course I would turn to you!" Naruto replied.

"...Fine, it smells like old gym socks. Now leave me alone! I'm still pissed at you for getting a Harem." Kiba growled.

* * *

_Naruto got up and surveyed his surroundings. It looked to be a sewer of some kind, and there looked to be pipes and conduits all over the place, as well as a thin layer of water covering the ground. On either side of him were what looked like passages. As he walked on, he could make out that some of these passages had doors with extremely tight padlocks, and others simply became dead ends. However, as he neared the end of the hallway he was in, he surveyed one passage that ended in a bright flash of light that blocked anyone from seeing past it, without first entering it. It was really the only path available. _

_Naruto stumbled down the hallway, and as he stepped into the light, he could vaguely make out what looked to be…a gate? He walked closer, and suddenly, the light was no longer obscuring his vision. Yes, it was certainly a gate. A gate with intricate patterns carved out along the bars, and a flimsy piece of paper in the middle, with the Kanji for 'seal' written in the middle. Everything beyond the gate, however, was pitch black, and no matter how much Naruto strained, he couldn't see what might be beyond it._

_That particular quandary was quickly answered, however. As Naruto approached the bars, a smiling, and particularly terrifying visage made itself known to Naruto, and as much as he wanted to back away from the bars, he found that his legs had suddenly seemed to stop obeying his mind. What a terrible time for insubordination._

* * *

"ANYTIME is a terrible time for insubordination," Tsunade said. "During wars..." 

"Training..." Gai said.

"My new shipment of Icha Icha books..." Kakashi added.

Everyone turned towards him, eyes half lidded.

"...What? They take FOREVER to come out!" Kakashi protested.

"Then I'm doing my job well," Tsunade replied.

* * *

_Both Naruto and the…entity…stared at each other for what seemed to be forever, before the frightening visage broke the stalemate and began laughing. It was a deep, bellowing laugh that was quite possibly the most evil sounding thing that Naruto had ever heard in his life, and yet, it carried an undertone of mirth to it that was quite hard to ignore. It was…confusing, to say the least. Naruto was about to voice his confusion to…whatever it was…when the visage began speaking. _

_"**The look on your face was absolutely priceless, kid. I haven't seen a look like that on anyone's face for a long time. Damned seal…"** Naruto was now more perturbed than anything, and was about to speak up, again, when he was interrupted…again._

_"**No doubt you're wondering just where you are, who I am, and why you are here. Well…the answer to the first two is rather simple. We are in your mind, and I am, of course, the great Kyuubi no Kitsune. As to exactly why you're here…well, that is going to take considerably more explanation."** Here, the fox seemed to pause in contemplation. Naruto waited for quite some time and allowed the first bit of information to sink in. He was talking to the Kyuubi. What's more, he was somehow corporeal within his own mind. It didn't make a tremendous amount of sense, but he couldn't really chalk it up to being some sort of bad dream or anything, so, for the moment, he accepted the fox's explanation. Naruto waited for the fox to begin again, but when it seemed as though no explanation was forthcoming, he decided to take the initiative, and this time, he was not going to be interrupted._

_"Well??! I'm in my mind, and I'm talking to a mass-murdering demon fox, now, why am I talking to you??!" Naruto gave the fox his best 'angry' glare, but against something that reeked of malice like this, it didn't really do much. Not to mention the fact that the fox looked even more amused than he did before._

* * *

**"Ah, this story has me in Character quite well," **Kyuubi praised within Naruto's mind. **"...Or it would, if I wasn't going to be a FREAKIN WOMAN!"**

_'Ha! Sucks for you, Kyuubi!' _Naruto replied in his mind.

**"Don't forget who ends up WITH the Female me, brat," **Kyuubi growled.

Naruto didn't say anything to that.

* * *

_"**Impatient, aren't we? Then again, when you have the lifespan of a human, I suppose time would be at a premium, wouldn't it? I wouldn't worry about it, kid. Although you're talking to me in here, the time that is passing out there in the real world is going considerably more slowly than it is in here. After all, even though you may be dense, the mind does move faster than the body. Besides, this gives us more than enough time for the rather lengthy conversation we are about to have."** Naruto gulped just slightly after the fox said 'lengthy'…it certainly didn't bode well for whatever it was that the fox wanted to talk about._

_"**Simply put, now that you actually know of my existence, it's time that both you and I attempt to make the best of this rather…unfortunate…situation. Before, I had the luxury of being able to simply sleep my days away and plot various dastardly things that I would do when or if I ever managed to escape this horrible prison. However, now that you know I'm here, undoubtedly, you're going to get into a situation where you'll call upon my power, either consciously or not. As such, I propose that we make a deal. Or rather, several deals, regarding my situation, as well as your situation out there."**_

_"**You see, I know much more about you than you do about me. During the time I've been cooped up in this infernal cage, I've been able to observe both your life, and your bodily processes, and I've been able to concoct a rather…fortunate…deal that will, in the end, make both of us more happy."**_

_At this, the Kyuubi paused for a moment, allowing Naruto to absorb what the Kitsune had just said. Call upon the fox's power? Deals? Being happy? If the fox had been observing his life, then surely he had to know that it had been hell…he quietly prayed that the fox had an empathetic nerve somewhere in his body. Naruto made a smart decision for once in his life, and simply plopped him self down on the cold ground of the cell, falling quiet to listen to whatever it was that the fox was proposing._

* * *

"Well, if it were ME in the fic, I'd take anything the Kyuubi offered me if it meant a better life... as long as it didn't involve me becoming a demon," Naruto said. 

"...And as long as it didn't involve the destruction of Konoha. ...Right?" Tsunade said.

"..." Naruto didn't reply, getting an evil look on his face.

The rest turned towards Naruto, getting a little scared.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"JUST KIDDING!" Naruto shouted, and began laughing, much to the relief (and chargin) of the others.

"NARUTO! Don't scare us like that!" Sakura shouted.

* * *

_"**Since you are obviously at a disadvantage here, information wise at least, I'll start off with a few acts of 'good faith'. The first things you should know are, predictably, about both your heritage, and the purposes of the seals…yes, seals, plural, that were placed on you when I was sealed into you."** At the word 'heritage', Naruto scrambled up and stared wide eyed at the visage in front of him, eyes slightly quaking in both apprehension and barely contained anticipation._

_Naruto had wanted…no, dreamed of having a family, or, at the very least, knowing who his family was, for as long as he could remember. It was one of the things in life that he wanted more than anything else, and this...fox…was willing to tell him who his parentage was, even when other's wouldn't. Naruto wasn't entirely sure whether he should be thanking the fox, or cursing those who had withheld the information of his heritage from him for so long. Perhaps, he should be doing both._

_"You know…you know who my family was? I'm not going to ask how or anything but…please, just tell me!" Naruto was beside himself at this point. He didn't care about any of the consequences, he had to know, and he would give almost anything to know._

* * *

"...This author is right. I would give almost ANYTHING to know who my parents are... to at least know their names..." Naruto said, feeling a little sad. 

Everybody (even Sasuke), felt sad for Naruto. Tsunade felt bad the most, because she and Jiraiya KNEW who Naruto's real parents were. But they couldn't tell him. Not yet.

_'It's for your own good, Naruto...' _Tsunade thought.

* * *

_The fox merely smiled…not a tremendously evil smile either, but one that seemed at least somewhat genuine…as genuine as a smile from an evil fox demon can get, anyway. **"Oh, but how I know is as much a part of the story as the information itself is."** The fox seemed to contemplate his words again, and then faced Naruto again with his normal visage back in place._

_The next words out of the fox demon's mouth, however, were as unexpected as his actions. **"Understandably, this form I have right now is undoubtedly a hindrance to our continued conversation. Hold on for a few moments, while I slip into something more comfortable…"** The fox seemed to chuckle slightly at this, and Naruto saw the visage disappear, and for a few minutes, he simply sat there, his mind a comfortable blank, until something he certainly didn't expect to see, walked right back up to the bars of the cage, and sat down directly parallel to Naruto._

_**She** was gorgeous. By any standards of the word, the being that sat in front of Naruto was the very picture of beauty and grace. She had bright, dazzlingly red hair that flowed down to the middle of her back as a waterfall might cascade off of a mountain top. Her skin was a pale alabaster, and her face was a visage of femininity. It gently curved down the sides and sloped perfectly in all the right places. She had whisker marks, just as Naruto did, and her eyes were a burning red that reminded Naruto very much that this beauty sitting in front of him was the Kyuubi no Kitsune. She wore a dark maroon Kimono with pink sakura petals adorning it as if they were falling. The Kimono didn't show off much, however it served to accentuate her curves almost perfectly, almost as if it were a second skin. This was all accentuated by a bright red, flower patterned obi tied in a bow in the back around her midsection._

_What Naruto's eyes were inextricably drawn to, however, was what adorned her neck. What looked to be a jet black collar was around her neck, with blood red kanji written on it that Naruto couldn't quite discern from his vantage point. For whatever reason, it fascinated Naruto to look upon it, and only when Kyuubi cleared her throat, did Naruto return to his senses._

* * *

**"Oh KAMI. Every discriptive word, every adjective, every single WORD in discribing me is KILLING ME!"** Kyuubi whined. **"It should be HANDSOME, MUCSULAR and ROUGH! Not GORGEOUS, SLENDER and SOFT!-!-!"**

Naruto made a note in his mind that everytime Kyuubi acted up, he would show him some Fem-Kyuubi fics. THAT would teach him a lesson!

**"I CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS, BRAT!-!-!-!" **Kyuubi (who was most certainly NOT a woman) roared.

* * *

_Now that he had his senses about him once again, he noticed something else about the girl in front of him. She looked to be no older than Naruto. She was developed, yes, but not overly so, and she was only a few inches taller than Naruto. Her facial features as well as certain curves about her didn't really seem to make her look any older or any younger than Naruto himself. Naruto was now curious._

_"Ne, Kyuubi-chan, why is it that you don't look any older than me? I mean, you're like, thousands of years old right?" Naruto gave the Kyuubi a quizzical expression as he asked the question, but Kyuubi's eyes seemed to widen, and a barely perceptible blush adorned her cheek as he said her name._

_Kyuubi was at a loss. The brat who just minutes before was looking at her with barely repressed fear, was now looking at her with something akin to awe and appreciation. She literally had to clear her throat 3 times before he returned to his senses completely, and then when he'd finally said something…he'd called her 'Kyuubi-chan'…using the familiar suffix with her name. Unbidden, a blush formed on her cheeks. She hadn't been called that in ages._

* * *

Naruto, smirking wickedly, began to think, _'Hey, Kyuubi-ch-'_

**"Finish that sentence, brat, and I will MIND RAPE you SO BAD, that you won't even remember how to BLINK." **Kyuubi growled.

Naruto stayed quiet.

* * *

_When Kyuubi spoke, it was no longer than booming, ethereal voice that she held before, but rather a very feminine, alto pitched voice that sounded as though she could be any girl of 12 or 13. (A/N: For your sake and mine, I'm still going to put it in bold. Nyah.) **"I look this old, because this is how old I choose to make myself. I am after all, a pseudo immortal being, and I can choose to make myself look as old or as young as I need to be or want to be. It's one of the perks of being what I am."** At this, Naruto seemed to gain a look of almost understanding on his face, and adorned what could be construed as a smile on his face._

_"Amazing…who would ever think that the Kyuubi would be a chick! All that destruction and stuff, and the deep booming voice, coming from a girl!" At this, Naruto began laughing rather hard, and a vein on Kyuubi's forehead grew to epic proportions. **"Of course, society would think that it was a male causing all of this destruction…after all, that's pretty much all they're good for…aside from reproduction."**_

_Naruto stopped laughing and gave Kyuubi a puzzled expression. "Was that an insult?" **"Yes."** "Oh…you're not very good at those, are you?" **"You know, I could just boot you out of here, and never tell you what you want to know."** "WHAT?! No! No, no, no, keep going, please…I'll shut up…" **"Good. You're learning. Now, sit down, shut up, and listen well."**_

* * *

"Hey, Naruto. Does Kyuubi-CHAN really act like that?" Kiba said with a smirk. 

"Yeah, HE does. And HE's not very happy with you right now," Naruto replied.

**"LET ME AT HIM! I'LL SKIN THAT LITTLE (BEEPER) ALIVE, AND FEED THE REMAINS TO HIS (BEEPING) DOG! THEN I'LL (BEEPING) BRING HIM BACK TO (BEEPING) LIFE, AND DO IT A(BEEPING)GAIN! LET ME AT THAT (BEEPER)!-!-!-!" **Kyuubi roared with hate.

Naruto winced.

"Kiba, you better hope you NEVER meet the Kyuubi for real," Naruto said to the Dog-boy.

* * *

_Naruto did what he was told, and Kyuubi noted his facial expression, taking it as a cue to begin her explanation. **"As I said before, the reason behind me knowing who your parents…or rather, parent, as I've yet to figure out who one of them was, is just as important as the information itself. When I was first sealed into you, eventually, I noticed that there was a small, consistent chakra drain coming from me that never stopped, or even wavered, no matter what I, or you did. At first I thought it was some sort of function of the seal, trying to get you used to my chakra, but by then, I had noticed that my own chakra intermingled with yours on a regular basis. This smaller chakra drain was the function of something else entirely, and in time, I was able to figure out what it was.**_

_The Kyuubi paused only momentarily, to see that the expression on Naruto's face was one of concentration and deep thought. Frankly, the Kyuubi was impressed that he was capable of such feats. Undaunted, she continued. **"The chakra drain was…is…due to something known as an Impression Seal. It is a type of seal that has not been used in a very long time…almost 200 years if I remember correctly. To be perfectly honest, I have no clue why it was used on you, as it seems almost counter-intuitive to do so."**_

_"**Impression seals are used to bind characteristics of one person to another. For example, if Konohamaru's father were to use the impression seal on him, Konohamaru would gain almost exact genetic characteristics of his father…his appearance would change, his bone structure would change…all traces of his mother's side of DNA would be completely obliterated from him. In essence, he would become a pseudo-clone of his father. He would still retain some original genetic characteristics; however they would have to be of the anomalous sort to actually qualify not to be wiped from his genetic structure."**_

* * *

_'Hm. If that's true, then it would explain why Naruto doesn't look anything like Kushina,' _Tsunade thought. 

"...If that were true, then the reason that Naruto looks so much like the fourth is because..." Sasuke said, eyes wide.

All eyes turned back to Naruto, whose own eyes were just as wide as Sasuke's.

"Could...could it be...?"

* * *

_Here, Kyuubi paused again, to see a tremendously confused looking Naruto staring back at her. Barely repressing a sigh, she thought up a better paraphrasing than the long drawn out explanation she was going to give. **"Basically, Naruto, if…your father…lets say…were to use this seal on you, you would look almost exactly like him, and your body would be almost exactly like him, down to the basest functions of your brain and your organs, as well as your chakra. Your mother's traits would be purged from you."** At this, Naruto seemed to have comprehension dawn on him, and nodded his head, a bit too dumbstruck to say anything._

_"**The problem with impression seals, however, is multi-fold. Firstly, since impression seals have to interact with your own DNA, at least at the basest level, the person who used the impression seal, and the receiver of the seal, would have to be the closest of relatives. Father to son, brother to brother, mother to daughter, sister to sister, etc. If the person who used the impression seal is not sufficiently a match with your own DNA, then your own genetic structure will crumble, and you will die."** Naruto's expression paled somewhat at this revelation, and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Again, Kyuubi continued on before any questions could be asked._

_"**Another problem with the impression seal is that it takes a constant amount of chakra to maintain. This is due to the way the seal actually works. When a cell in the body divides, normally, it is an exact copy of the cell it just divided from. The Impression seal changes that. Whenever a cell divides in your body, the seal uses a small amount of chakra to force the genetic structure of that cell to change to fit the impression. Even though the original divided cell was already impressed, the impression seal cannot, no matter how much chakra you give it, influence the process by which new cells are made. In essence, the cell will always divide into a genuine and an impressed copy and the genuine copy will then become impressed, and so on. In this case, the seal is using my chakra to accomplish this. The problem stems from the fact that a small amount of chakra from me is a fairly large amount of chakra from you. If the impressed person were to run out of the necessary chakra, the seal would still keep trying to impress, and not only would this put you at risk of chakra exhaustion, but it would also fuck up your genetic structure tremendously, as cells would be being divided, and then only partially impressed, due to lack of chakra. You can also imagine placing the impression seal on someone who does not have a large enough chakra reserve to even operate the seal in the first place, such as babies, or civilians with no Shinobi background. It would be genetic pandemonium, not to mention that it completely messes up your chakra control. That is why the Impression Seal was actually able to be used on you. You have a source of almost never-ending chakra inside of you, so the chances of you suffering chakra exhaustion, or of having cells only partially impressed, is next to nil.**_

_"**In older days, the seal was used to bind bloodline limits, or 'Kekkai Genkai' to those children who failed to inherit their family's bloodline limit, and to those parents who gave birth to new bloodlines. The problem with this, is that unless the impression seal is put on someone at birth, that person will invariably…well, almost invariably, die. After a certain age, a person's body is set in its ways, so to speak. Any attempt to change that, and the impression seal will break down the genetic structure more quickly than the new genetic structure can be implemented. The only way that people found this out, was that it never worked to use the aforementioned seal on the aforementioned parents of new bloodlines. In every case, save for one that I can remember, and that was a fluke, the parent died."**_

_"**As you can imagine, it's near impossible most times to figure out if someone does or does not have a bloodline limit at birth, unless it's a doujutsu type such as the Byakugan or the Sharingan's trademarked pitch black eyes. As such, parents began impressing children at birth, regardless of if they thought the child had the bloodline limit or not. The problem with that is that an impressed person can not reproduce. I'll spare you the birds and the bees talk; suffice it to say that it simply doesn't work. If you try to unimpress someone, so they can properly reproduce, and it turns out that they don't have the bloodline limit naturally, then, well, you're fucked. In this, they also found out the hard way that a male cannot be impressed by a female, and vice versa. This meant that if the bloodline limit came from the female branch of a given family, then only females would be able to be impressed. Same with males. You can imagine the shit that caused."**_

By this time, Naruto looked as though he had a mix of confusion, understanding, concentration, and thoughtfulness on his face all at the same time. In all reality, it was quite humorous, and the Kyuubi let a small giggle spring forth at the look Naruto was giving her. Kyuubi figured that she should wrap up the explanation, and just cut to the chase…after all, Naruto wasn't _quite_ smart enough to truly comprehend what she was saying…yet.

* * *

"Heck, I don't blame her. I barely understood it, and I'm the SMART one!" Shikamaru said, awed at all the infomation that he just read. 

"You said that, 'And I'm the smart one' line two chapters ago, Shikamaru," Naruto pointed out.

"Sorry, but the author is running out of funny things for us to say this chapter!" Shikamaru said.

...Right before he got knocked over by a skillet, swung by Kurenai.

"Don't you remember what I said in 'There's a parody about us?!' That's enough Fourth Wall Raping!" Kurenai huffed.

"But in mentioning the 'There's a parody about us' fanfiction, especially when the author said that it WOULDN'T affect this story's plot, aren't YOU yourself 'raping' the Fourth wall?" Naruto asked.

Kurenai didn't know how to respond to that.

* * *

_"**Basically, Naruto, the seal was more trouble than it was worth. However, in your case, it was perfect, at least in pure usage. Your father was able to place the impression seal on you, to make you look his spitting image, although, I'm not entirely sure why. Nearest I can tell, your father did not have any bloodline limit, nor did he have anything to pass on to you that you could not have gained through regular means. In this case, the impression seal was placed on you just after birth, and considering that you had a multitude of seals placed upon you, the seal had to have been done literally within seconds of the actual seal holding me in, so that it could mesh with all of the other seals, without causing conflicts. Since the only person near you and me when I was sealed was the Yondaime, this means that only he could have done this seal. All of this means that the same person who sealed me into you, gave you your impression seal. Since that person had to have been close family, and male, that leaves the possible relations to a brother, or a father. Seeing as how the Yondaime at the time of sealing was roughly 30 years older than you are, it's safe to assume, that the Yondaime Hokage, is your father."** Kyuubi stopped her impromptu speech, and was somewhat miffed to see that the expression on Naruto's face was nigh deadpan. She figured that he was simply shocked at the moment, though. Hell, he had just found out who his biological father was after 12 years, anyone would be shocked speechless by such a revelation. _

_Naruto, true to the Kyuubi's estimates, sat there for what seemed like hours, shocked. Stunned. Completely knocked for a loop. The magnitude of what Kyuubi had said lay heavy on his shoulders, and his mind threatened to shut down. One thought was running through Naruto's mind at high speed. The Yondaime…was my father. I am the son of the Yondaime of Konohagakure. He was absolutely oblivious to Kyuubi who had a slightly concerned look on her face for the blonde container. He didn't notice himself exiting the Kyuubi's chamber, and blacking out, until unconsciousness claimed him._

_The Kyuubi simply sat back and let forth a bellowing chuckle within her cage, before stalking off back into the recesses of it. **"Well, he took that better than I thought. I'll explain the rest of it to him later."** Kyuubi simply let forth another chuckle and got to work on her project. When Naruto woke up, he'd be in for quite the surprise._

* * *

**"Why do I have the feeling that I'm not gonna like the meaning of that? Even if it DID sound evil..." **Kyuubi sulked. 

_'It just means that you care about me, Kyuubi-CHAN!'_ Naruto laughed in his mind.

**"...You are so (beeping) dead later, brat." **Kyuubi sighed.

* * *

_Naruto was floating. It seemed like it anyway. All around him were cogs and various forms of machinery, churning towards an unknown task that Naruto couldn't quite comprehend._

_One thing drew Naruto's attention. The cogs were beginning to disappear. One by one, the cogs and wheels of the machinery simply crumbled and fell away into nothingness, to be replaced only seconds later by another cog…except…the new cogs looked…they felt…they **were** better than the previous ones. They felt unencumbered somehow, and moved with a more precise rhythm than their predecessors. Slowly, every cog in sight had been replaced by one of the new cogs, and the cacophony of sound that greeted Naruto was deafening, yet comforting. It was a raging tumult of activity, yet it was calm at the same time. It seemed to…work…better than it had before._

_Suddenly, Naruto was transported away from the room of machines, and came upon a different place. He was in the middle of a crystal, it seemed, and the light filtering into it seemed to be…wrong. The frequency was wrong, discordant. Just as suddenly as he came upon the crystal, he heard a cracking sound…and saw part of the crystals imperfect exterior fall away, as so much unused trash. The crystal was being molded, cut, shaped, perfected…sharpened. The frequency slowly became a gentle hum, and the light focused. The crystal became beautiful, even from the inside, and it seemed to exude a blue…red…violet, almost…glow._

_Slowly, he found that the crystal was placed upon a pedestal in the same room that he had been in before. The cogs churned around him at an even more fevered pace, and with an even more calming and dulcet rhythm, and the crystal seemed to glow, giving power to these cogs as they never had before. They became one and the same, Crystal with Machine, the red and blue glow seeming to harmonize and flow, becoming as a river and a well might…parallel, yet different._

_Throughout it all, there had been a nagging…pain…almost as if parts of him were breaking free and another was crumbling. The pain had been…necessary…somehow…although he couldn't place the reason. He sat and listened to the hum of the crystal and the sound of meticulous machinery working perfectly within itself. It was comforting. The pain was gone now. He laid back and found himself given to a long and peaceful slumber._

_Kyuubi smiled. Mind and body, demonic chakra, and human chakra…without the seal, they flowed…they congealed. They worked together. And it was wondrous. Kyuubi felt the familiar calm of Naruto's deep slumber, and waited for the young blonde…prodigy…to realize the difference. Today would be a good day. Today would be the first day of the rest of Naruto's…the real Naruto's…long and prosperous life._

* * *

Whew! Here's the next chapter! Just a warning, some of the stuff might have been cut off when I posted this. If that's the case, then I'll go back and fix it as soon as I can. Hope you liked the reactions, and catch you next continue! 


	20. Special Intermission: Part 3

There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: Shikamaru _gets a Laptop and discovers our website. Major OOCness!_

Okay! Here's the long awaited Part three of the Special Intermission! Just two more parts after this, and Naruto, Shikamaru and anyone else who find out about this project that they're doing, will be ready to unleash their story on the fanfic world! Hope you look forward to it! On with the chapter!

* * *

Chapter 20

Special Intermission: Part 3

* * *

Naruto and Shikamaru had all gotten many ideas from reading all sorts of different Fanfiction. The only problem was that they didn't know what type of fanfic it should be. 

"I say it should be a coming of age tale, with a slacker that doesn't know his place in the world, but grows up with the help of his friends and family, and one day finds his true calling! So it would be in the General/Drama category!" Shikamaru insisted.

"But that's BORING!" Naruto whined. "It should be about a comedy Ninja, who uses obscure and funny tactics to always prevail over his enemies! And it would be labeled under the Adventure/Humor category!"

"You're BOTH wrong."

Both the boys turned to see none other than SASUKE heading their way.

"It should be about how the Rookie 11 (and myself) come together after many years of being apart, and how we each accept the differences of each other, and become stronger because of it," Sasuke said.

Shikamaru and Naruto looked at each other, and then back at Sasuke. "Wow, Sasuke. And here we thought that you would just demand that we make a story where Itachi gets killed in numerous, and embarrassing ways," Shikamaru and Naruto said at the same time.

"Oh, there's already a story like that," Sasuke said, waving his hand nonchalantly.

Naruto and Shikamaru sweat dropped. "Well, that explains it," Naruto muttered.

"And I've got the perfect name for it. …NINJA HEROES," Sasuke said, closing his eyes, crossing his arms, and nodding his head proudly.

The sweat drops and Shikamaru and Naruto's heads got even bigger.

"Sasuke, have you been playing too much Sonic Heroes again?" Naruto asked.

"I don't CARE what anyone says, that game ROCKS!" Sasuke roared.

"…Okay, just shut up, and look at this Fanfiction with us," Shikamaru said.

"'Kay." Sasuke said, sitting next to them as they read the next chapter.

_Chapter twenty-one: Fanfic summaries_

**_There are the ones written by people who have obviously never posted a fic before:_**

_1) Er, yeah, this is a fanfic … about Sasuke … and Naruto…. Oh, I dunno. I suck at summaries. Just read it!_

**_There are the ones where the author is basically just talking and talking and doesn't really give a lot of information about the fanfic:_**

_2) Hi, guys! This is my first EVER Naruto fic, so please don't be mad at me if it's bad! TT Okay, so basically, it's about Naruto living in the wild like he's some kind-of fox or something. Actually, isn't he a fox? XDDDDDD Oh wait, no, that's the demon inside of him, right? X(((((( I really don't get why the villagers hate him. It just doesn't make any sense! Just come and read my fic, all right? It's a great story, really! lolololololololol!_

**_There are the ones that are just plain trying too hard:_**

_3) The important thing is, the more reviews I get, the more I'll update…._

**_There are the ones where the person really doesn't know how to make a summary:_**

_4)……………… read._

**_There are the ones that are very vague (these are usually the good ones, actually):_**

_5) A blur of color. Two figures move. What? FIND OUT… yayyyyy!_

_-------------------_

"Okay, make sure to have a GOOD summary when you first create a story," Naruto said.

"And make sure that it's not TOO vague, or TOO descriptive. Too vague, and people will be hesitant to read it. Too descriptive, and it'll cause the people to lose interest if they can't be surprised," Sasuke added.

Shikamaru nodded, writing it all down in the Notepad.

_Chapter twenty-two: ABd GRammr-tiis_

_Natruo hiy tIachi onteh hed. Wat"yiu dp this tume/"_

_"i didnt dp Nythng1'_

_NAtruo roled ihs eyys. 'yeh,rite,tupiiidddd."_

_Irachi gkated. "I ahtey ou.'_

_"yeh, e 2."_

_"…"_

_"Eheres sAskeu/"_

_'light heer, dobaaaayyyyy.'''_

_Natruo gashpde. "omg, saskuu1 tis trriblee1 wats goinon wit r voices n wrdz/'_

_OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111onehunderedeleven TAICHI SED TIS SOOO WEOWWEDDD_

_YaL r Al DoRkKz. sAsKuE sCoCdCf._

_Ehhehh, naputo hihhled, '00c…………"_

_n t3h shitnoobiis wir d00md fo ;ife intil teh nect chapiie caimint oexistanec n heple us ut_

_------------_

"…ALWAYS use Spell Check. And if you don't HAVE Spell Check, then hire a Beta-reader. …Though you'll probably make an enemy for LIFE if you make them correct something like THIS," Naruto muttered.

"I can vouch for that!" Sasuke agreed as Shikamaru wrote it down.

_Chapter twenty-three: Bad Grammar-itis; where they post the fic/chapter a second time in an attempt to take out all the grammatical errors, yet somehow failed and still some things aren't very clear._

_Natuto hit ITachi on teh head. "Wat you do this time?"_

_"i didnt do anything!"_

_Naruto rolled his eyes. "yeh, right, stupid."_

_Irachi glared. "I hate you.'_

_"yeh, me too."_

_"…"_

_"Where's sasuke?"_

_"Right heer, dobe.'''_

_Natruo gasped. "Oh, my god, Sasuke! This is terrible! whats going on with our voices annd wordz?'_

_"OH, MY GOD! Itachi said, "THIS SOOO WEIRD!"_

_"Ya'll are all dorks." Sasuke scoffed._

_"heehee," Naruto giggled, "Out of character…"_

_And the shinobis were doomed for life. until teh next chapter came into existanec and helped us out._

_-----------------_

"…Make sure that you learn from your past mistakes. And that the Beta you hire is GOOD." Naruto said.

"Hn. This was only SLIGHTLY better than the last one," Sasuke said.

Shikamaru wrote it down as usual.

_Chapter twenty-four: The typical Naruto x Akamaru x Neji x Tsunade x Itachi x Konohamaru x Sasuke x Naruto_

_Er, this is never going to happen, therefore, no one wants to read these pairings, therefore, I am not even going to make a spoof out of this, since no one would know what I was talking about, anyway. I wouldn't even know what I was talking about, so if you want this, one word: Tough._

_---------------_

"NEVER make a story that would be impossible to carry out," Naruto said.

"OR a story that NO ONE would ever read. I mean, Naruto and Akamaru? SICK!" Sasuke said.

Naruto tried to ignore the fact that Sasuke didn't have any objections to the REST of the pairings, while Shikamaru wrote it down like normal.

_Chapter twenty-five: On second thought, let's try that last idea in a typical soap-opera fanfic that reminds me of Korean dramas._

_A loud bark echoed through the forest. All three boys paused and prepared themselves for whatever was going to pop out at them. But it was just a dog: Akamaru._

_"Akamaru, baby!" Naruto pounced on him and threw his arms around Akamaru's tiny body. Akamaru wriggled free and pounced on Neji, who came out of the shadows next (for some reason, he wasn't at the camp, Naruto guessed). Naruto glared at Neji, who chose to ignore Akamaru's tight clinging to his leg, and clocked Neji in the nose._

_"Neji, how dare you treat Akamaru like that?" Naruto shouted, stomping his foot._

_"Now is not the time to be arguing, brother." Neji muttered._

_Naruto froze. "B … brother? W … what are you talking about, N … Neji?"_

_But this was when Tsunade and Konohamaru entered. Everyone ran around in a circle, in a big Midsummer Night's Dream kind-of thing. And this is where you need to make a chart, which you may find in my profile._

_---------------------_

"…I repeat, NEVER make a story that would be hard or not possible to carry out," Naruto said.

"Ditto," Sasuke agreed.

Shikamaru…ah, you get the idea.

_Chapter twenty-six: The Alternate Universe with uniforms and tights_

_Naruto blinked. He took in the sudden change of scenery around him with hesitation. He was now inside, not outside, in a hallway, no less. The lighting was slightly dim, and the floors were polished. There were water fountains and fire extinguishers and doors all down the hall._

_"Okay, now where the heck am I?" Naruto wondered aloud._

_"Naruto!" Naruto heard a voice call behind him. "There you are!"_

_Naruto spun around and almost blanched at the sight of the redhead in front of him. "Gaara!" Then, raising his hands up in fear and turning his head away. "Don't eat me!"_

_Gaara blinked. "What are you talking about, Naruto? We have to get to Chemistry, quick!"_

_"Chemistry?" Naruto repeated, lowering his hands. "What's that?"_

_Gaara sighed and shook his head. "Ah, Naruto … have you been drinking? What do you remember?"_

_When Naruto said nothing, Gaara sighed again. "Okay, listen carefully. I'm your best friend; we're at Konoha High School, today's Tuesday, which means we have Chemistry. Now."_

_"Wait, hold up. You're my best friend?"_

_"Yes. Oooh, and there's Uchiha with his Fanclub."_

_"Sasuke has a Fanclub? Like, an official club and not just a bunch of crazy girls trampling him?"_

_"See for yourself."_

_Naruto turned and saw Sasuke in a uniform and tie (which, Naruto observed, he had on himself) desperately trying to get away from a stampede of girls, all screaming his name and adding a little suffix of 'kun' to the end. Ino was the leader of the pack and was informing Sasuke of their plans for their next meeting and what their club was doing lately. Almost all of them had dark blue shirts on to show their love for the, as they would say, 'ravenette'. All the girls were not normal girls and it was plainly obvious that every girl in that particular school could not be on the same Sanity Level as the typical girl in real life, as was usually the case in a school with Naruto and Sasuke in it._

_"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Gaara said sarcastically, as though Naruto already knew; Naruto seriously didn't know what in the world was going on, "You're British and Uchiha's Japanese."_

_"What?" Naruto blurted, tearing his eyes off the pack of girls. "How come I'm British?"_

_"Well, you see, your nationality changes every time. Sometimes you're British, sometimes you're German, and sometimes you're even American." Gaara explained. "It's because you don't have Asian eyes, so people know you're not Asian, but they also know that there might be a thousand different countries that you might be from, so they just pick one. By the way, Sasuke has Asian hair, so people know he's either Japanese (usually Japanese, anyway) or Chinese."_

_"Well, that's definitely fair." Naruto pouted as Sasuke glared at the girls, half of them fainting because they thought he was absolutely gorgeous. "Whatever the case, there's a chance we're both Nazi's." A second later, as if realizing what he had just suggested, "So not cool."_

_Naruto stepped towards Sasuke. "Yo! Sasuke!"_

_Sasuke took one glance at Naruto and made a run for it. Towards Naruto, of course. "DO SOMETHING!" He shouted, grabbing Naruto by the shoulders. Naruto guessed that, unlike Gaara, Sasuke had just been transported here as well and didn't know a thing about what was going on._

_Naruto scowled at Sasuke and the girls. "Me? How'm I gonna do something? They probably hate me!"_

_"Eww! It's that dork Uzumaki!" One of the girls screamed in an amazingly high-pitched voice. Half the girls ran away in disgust; The other half kept running for Sasuke._

_"Hey! They do hate you!" Sasuke exclaimed. "Can I use you as a shield?"_

_"You know, you're probably losing cool points because you're hanging out with a goddamn Scandinavian loser." Naruto mumbled before both of them disappeared._

_---------------_

"Never make a High School fic. They are overrated, and there are FAR too many already," Naruto said.

"I thought the tip was, always use a dumb blond best friend as a shield to block off rabid fan girls," Sasuke sneered towards Naruto.

Naruto glared at him.

_Chapter twenty-seven: The Alternate Universe with a cartoon that you have never heard of._

_"Oh geez, where are we now?" Naruto muttered, glancing around the desert. It was empty except for cacti and sand and dust and … the sun._

_Suddenly both boys heard a voice echoing around them, as if they were in a movie theater with surround sound. The voice was a twelve-year-old black boy, as you could tell by the vocabulary he used. "Dis is a story 'bout me and ma croo …"_

_"What the hell is this?" Sasuke snapped, scrunching up his nose in disgust._

_"… when all of a sudden, all four o' us got sucked into our video game!"_

_"This is strange." Naruto and Sasuke gasped when they heard the high voice and both swiveled around to see Konohamaru._

_"When'd you get here?" Naruto shrieked._

_"… collect dese cartridges wid every video game episode on dem… yo…"_

_"I dunno." Konohamaru shrugged. "I was just transported here when I was running away from Itachi. Where the hell are we?"_

_"… us, Da Boom Crew."_

_There was a moment where the theme music that had played in the background the whole time, kept playing. Naruto imagined this was where the actors froze in a martial arts pose to make things more dramatic. He also assumed that the episode of this "Da Boom Crew" would start in moment's time._

_And just as he thought, four nine-year-olds came charging in the desert with hovercrafts. They were all black except one huge nerdy-looking boy, who was white._

_"Wow," Sasuke muttered. "How racist is this show?"_

_"Do you imagine this is why they cancelled it after airing only four episodes?" Naruto said._

_The four kids stopped their hovercrafts in front of the ninjas and leaped off onto the sandy ground. They pointed weapons at the ninjas and a skinny black guy (probably the main character, Naruto guessed) spoke to them._

_"Are ya'll Zork?"_

_In one second, the ninjas all glanced at each other. In another, they were rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off. Who knew what a 'Zork' was? Naruto definitely didn't. Even if it meant something very important, the word was just too funny._

_"All right, we're out of here." Konohamaru said, still smiling from laughter. He lifted his hand in the air and snapped. They all waited for them to be transported into another world. They didn't._

_"It's not working." Naruto stated, glaring at Konohamaru._

_Sasuke said, "You know, it's probably gonna work in the middle of a sen--"_

_---------------------_

"Use more recent cartoons for Crossover ideas. Or people won't know what the HELL the story's about," Naruto said.

"Or at least make sure to describe the cartoon that they fell into," Sasuke added.

_Chapter twenty-eight: The Alternate Universe with the exact same plot and story as something else we're all familiar with, just with different characters. (It doesn't just have to be with this theme, too)_

_After several great flashes of light and scenery, the ninjas were in a giant castle with an illusion ceiling that showed the weather outside to be dark and full of stars. Kids in robes all around them were all eating deliciously displayed food on the tables, and the ninjas were all surprised to find that the ninjas themselves were wearing the same exact robes._

_"Uchiha Sasuke!" The three turned to see a seventeen-year-old standing just behind Sasuke. He grabbed the raven-haired boy's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "A most wondrous honor to meet you, sir."_

_"Uh, yeah." Sasuke stuttered, blinking. "You, too."_

_Naruto took one long, hard stare at the elder, then blurted to Sasuke, "What the hell's this guy talking 'bout?"_

_Before Sasuke could shrug, the seventh-year's eyes went wide and he shouted, "You don't know? This man killed Orochi-- I mean, He-who-must-not-be-named! He was chosen by the Fourth Hokage himself to be on the Hidden Leaf house. And you, Uzumaki Naruto, are a poor, red-haired loser with six siblings." Just as he said that, Naruto's sun-kissed locks transformed into a deep shade of red._

_Ignoring Naruto's cry of dismay, the teen turned to Konohamaru, who, in fact, was very frightened of the sudden change of plot. "And you, Konohamaru … are a girl."_

_Konohamaru's hair became long and … ugly. And he felt something go missing._

_Sasuke, glancing from the red-haired-Naruto to the girl-Konohamaru, smirked. "This is … flippin' awesome. Now, if only I could get Akamaru to turn into a half-eagle, half-horse, and Gaara into an annoying little eleven-year-old with an obsession for cameras, that'd be way cooler."_

_"Don't even think about it, Sasuke." Naruto demanded, glaring at Sasuke's now-green eyes._

_---------------------------_

"Be original. Don't just rip off another well known story," Naruto said.

"Especially one like Harry Potter," Sasuke added.

_Chapter twenty-nine: The Alternate Universe with the modern day computer_

_Naruto blinked. For the third time that day, he was transported by some unknown force. He was all alone in a room. A lone object was giving the room light and it was, on the stone floor, a laptop._

_He saw a thin window of names off to the side of the screen. Peering at the title, he found his own username, which happened to be Ramen12._

_"Well, d'uh." Naruto whispered, rolling his eyes, "What else would I expect?"_

_Suddenly the sound effect of a creaking door filled the room, and, glancing back to the screen, his brilliant blue eyes saw a single username appear on his buddy list: ChidoriAvenger. Naruto right-clicked his new friend's name and picked out the profile. A new window popped up, displaying information that would reveal this man's identity:_

**_Itachi, you bastard, I'm gonna get you. And nothing will stop me. Not even Naruto (that is, if he ever beats me in strength). I'll avenge my clan and kill you, you lazy son of a--_**

_"Yup, that's definitely Sasuke." Naruto decided, nodding proudly._

_But before he could even double-click Sasuke's username, another name came up on the list: iwillbeocmehokageMUAHAHAHA!1._

_"Oh, my god." Naruto sighed. "Newbies."_

_Changing his mind, the blonde double-clicked the new screen name and quickly typed in a message for his admirer:_

_**Ramen12: **konohamaru! hows it going man?_

_After awaiting ten seconds, he got an unexpected response:_

_**iwillbeocmehokageMUAHAHAHA!1**: shut up Naruto! Im cybering this chick!_

_And, with the sound effect of a door shutting, iwillbeocmehokageMUAHAHAHA!1 signed off. Naruto, sniffing, whimpered, "He blocked me."_

_Going back to his original plan, he talked to Sasuke._

_**Ramen12: **sasuke sup_

_**ChidoriAvenger: **Oh, hello, Naruto._

_**Ramen12: **my floor is stone_

_**ChidoriAvenger: **really? I've got carpet over here. Red carpet. In my living room mansion._

_**Ramen12: **i really hate you you know tat_

_**ChidoriAvenger: **I'm guessing you live in a box? A stone box?_

_Naruto chose not to answer to that one and was rewarded with a strange word._

_**ChidoriAvenger**: ROFLMFAO._

_He chose not to answer to that, either._

_**Ramen12: **how r we gonna get outta this one_

_**ChidoriAvenger: **we're not. I'm staying where I am._

_**Ramen12: **well Im not!_

_**ChidoriAvenger: **Oh, right. Box-liver._

_"Oh, shut up, you--!" Naruto screamed, but cut himself off once he saw that word again._

_**ChidoriAvenger**: roflmfao._

_**Ramen12: **wat exactly is that sposed to mean_

_**ChidoriAvenger: **I'll tell you once we get back home._

_**Ramen12: **oh, ou just wait sasuke. you aint seen nothin yet._

_-------------------_

"NEVER write stories where Sasuke gets the best of me," Naruto growled, glaring at the laughing Sasuke.

_Chapter thirty: So many swear/cuss/curse/whatever words, that it's almost impossible to read it. (every swear will be replaced with a friendly word with the exact same amount of letters and part of speech as the real word, placed in bold text)_

_With a twirl and a spin, Naruto was back at the lake, where he saw that the others who were chasing each other, had left. Not too long after he vaporized to the spot, Sasuke followed by Konohamaru came spinning in the scene._

_Naruto stormed up to Sasuke and shouted in his pale face, "You **worried** **tuesday**! I'm going to **worried** kill you!"_

_Sasuke gave Naruto his most powerful death glare. "What the **love** are you **worried** talking about?"_

_"**Love** you!" Naruto let his rage take control. "**Love** you, **like** you, and **walk** you, you little **october**!"_

_"'**Walk** you' doesn't make any sense," Konohamaru peeped._

_Naruto just stood and stared at Konohamaru for a minute, then, realizing what he had said, pouted. "**Walk**! You're **worried** right! '**Walk** you' doesn't make any sense! **Walk**!"_

_"**Like**, Naruto." Sasuke sighed, in an almost I'm-better-than-you way. "I **worried** can't **worried** believe **worried** you're **worried** such **worried** a **worried** stu-**worried**-pid**sun**."_

_"**Love** you!"_

"And finally, if you're going to add cussing, don't be a PUSSY, and just go through with it," Naruto said. "And that's that! Ramen, anyone? I'm buying!"

"YOU'RE buying? This, I've gotta see," Sasuke said.

Shikamaru, who didn't get many lines again despite him being a main character, just nodded. And the three comrades left.

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed! Catch you next continue! 


	21. Special Sneak Preview!

There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: Shikamaru gets a laptop, and discovers our website. Major OOCness!

Hey, all! I've decided to give you all a special sneak preview of the type of story that Naruto, Shikamaru, Sasuke, and two other people will be writing after all the intermissions are done with. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 21

Special Sneak Preview!

* * *

"Well, foolish little brother, it looks like you have improved, if only a little bit. I can see it in your stance, and feel it in your chakra."

Sasuke and Itachi were currently staring each other down in the Uchiha Estate. Each of them were tense for battle, Itachi with his Magenkyo Sharingan at full power, and Sasuke in his Curse Seal LV2 form.

"...But I can't say that I admire your choices for power. After all, that Curse Mark of yours will only get you so far, even with the Sharingan. No good will have come from you learning from that snake," Itachi went on saying, looking at Sasuke with something akin to disguest.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I wouldn't even be talking right now, Itachi. After all, I'M not the one who wants to put the whole world at risk by gathering all of the Biju in one place. I'm no expert, but puting all of that kind of energy in one place can't be good for ANYONE," Sasuke replied.

Itachi raised his eyebrows, "So, does this mean that my foolish little brother is feeling compasion for others?"

Sasuke simply smirked. "Yeah, right. What happens to the people of this world dosen't matter to me. All that matters is that I finally send you rotting into the grave that you've dug yourself into, once and for all," Sasuke said.

Meanwhile, as all of this was happening, a very familer Chuunin was hiding behind one of the pillers.

_'Mendoske... Of all the times Hokage-sama had me do patrol of the Uchiha Estate, THIS had to go and happen. Most likely the only reason they don't even notice me is because they're too foucsed on each other,_' Shikamaru thought to himself.

"Well, shall we get started, Sasuke?" Itachi said, getting into a stance.

"I thought you'd never ask," Sasuke growled, getting into his own stance.

"Sasuke!" A voice called out.

The two brothers turned to see Naruto facing them, breathing hard.

"...Dobe," Sasuke said.

"...Naruto," Itachi said as well.

_'Naruto?! What's he doing here?! I thought that he was away on a mission!' _Shikamaru thought.

* * *

Why is Naruto at the Uchiha Estate? What will be Sasuke's reaction? And will Shikamaru and Naruto make a difference in the fight between the Uchiha Brothers? You'll have to find out later! Anyway, I've put up a poll on my Profile, so you can choose what the name of the story will be. I hope you vote. And tell me what you think of the story so far! Catch you next continue! 


	22. Four Part YURI special!

There's Fanfiction about us!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: Shikamaru gets a laptop and discovers our website! Major OOCness!

Yo, everybody! I'm so happy that what I thought was A Heart Problem was just Chest Wall Strain, that I've decided to give you all a special treat! Enjoy the 4-Part Yuri Special! It's rated M, so Kiddies, make sure your parents don't see you reading this! Enjoy! Oh, and the story is called Pink, whose author is Fangz of Fire. All credit goes to her. (Yes, HER. Even girls can write Yuri fanfiction)

* * *

"Hey, I just thought of something," Kiba said.

"You can THINK? Color me impressed," Ino replied.

Kiba glared at Ino before continuing, "Since we had to see a story about Sasuke and Naruto together, why don't we see one about their two biggest admirers together?"

"But...aren't their two biggest admirers Sakura and Hinata?" Chouji said.

"Precisely! If we had to look at Yaoi, then it's only fair if we get to look at HOT YURI action as well!" Kiba cheered.

...Before he got smacked across the head by a fuming Sakura.

"You pervert! No one wants to see that!" Sakura roared. Hinata simply blushed.

"I beg to differ," Sasuke replied, shocking everyone in the room.

"S-Sasuke-kun...?!" Sakura said, not believing what her beloved Uchiha had said.

"The great Uchiha Sasuke has a Sex Drive?!" Kiba shouted.

"...Duh. I just never saw the use for it. Until now," Sasuke replied. He turned towards Shikamaru. "Find a story. NOW. And make sure it's rated M."

"...Troublesome," Shikamaru grumbled, searching for a story.

"Teme! Sakura and Hinata don't want this!" Naruto growled.

"Well I don't hear them protesting. And you can't HONSETLY say that you've never thought of Sakura and Hinata getting down and dirty," Sasuke replied cooly.

"...Even so, that's not the point!" Naruto said, blushing madly.

"Guys, Shikamaru found a story," Chouji said.

The story was called, "Pink." And the Summary went like this.

_Sakura and Hinata are sick of being thought of as weak and find this among other things to bond over. SakuHina, M rated for clear smut. Little plot, not often updated._

"SMUT! That's code for SEX!" Kiba howled like a dog in heat. "CLICK IT!"

"Yes, click it, Shikamaru. After all, you owe me for making me look at a fic with me and the dobe together," Sasuke said with a smirk.

"Whatever..." Shikamaru said, clicking it.

_Sakura stormed from Tsunade's office, muttering under her breath. "That…that old hag! She thinks she can push my medical training off one more day and I swear…I mean, I'm a Chuunin now, and if she puts me off one more time…" Sakura shoved through the front doors, unhinging them with her new monstrous strength. Her green eyes glimmered as she exited the bare doorframe._

"Well, looks like SOMEONE is PMSing..." Ino said with a sly smile.

It took all that Sakura had for her to not KILL Ino then and there.

"What's PMSing?" Naruto asked with a red question mark over his head.

"Some things are best left unknown, Naruto," Shino said.

_"H-hello…Sakura-san," came a quiet voice from a bench outside the entrance. Sakura whipped around and spotted Hinata, her purple hair up in an attractive bun. Her chest was wrapped in bandages, and there was a small cut on her cheek. "Hinata, what the hell happened to you?"_

_"I was t-training with Neji…you know how he gets," she laughed quietly, shy eyes focusing on her chakra-burnt fingertips._

_"Is there anything I can do?" Sakura asked, her previous anger evaporated at seeing her friend wounded._

_"Well…you're a healer, right, Sakura-san?" she asked, blushing unnecessarily and wringing her hands. She winced and tosses her hands back on her lap._

_"Yeah, I know everything Tsunade knows." She laughed. "Well, not everything."_

"Yeah. I'm still trying to learn that 'Milotic Ressurection' technique of hers. Speaking of which, when ARE you going to teach me that move, Tsunade-Saishou?" Sakura inquired.

"Sakura, you aren't anywhere NEAR learning that technique yet. And don't you remember what I said before? Use it, and it'll shorten your life-span," Tsunade reminded her.

"I know that! I just want to be sure that I...can help Sasuke-kun and Naruto more in the future..." Sakura replied, not seeing the smiles (or smirk in Sasuke's case) on the two boys.

_"Tsunade has been very busy lately…she said I could try to make an appointment to get some of my minor arteries healed, but nothing's really certain."_

_"Hinata, maybe you and I can help each other out!" Sakura sat down next to her, grinning. "That bitch has been blowing me off a lot recently, and I don't want to get out of practice. She says I'm not supposed to practice artery healing for a few weeks, but I've been studying behind her back." Sakura snickered. "So, I could heal you and that way we'll both get something."_

"Oh, I'll bet they'll GET something alright..." Kiba chuckled, rubbing his hands.

"You really like Yuri, don't you, Kiba-kun?" Lee questioned.

"DUH. Nothing better than two hot women going at it. ...Unless a man happens to be in between them...mouthwise..." Kiba trailed off, his thoughts getting the better of him.

"Close your mouth, dog-boy. You're drooling on the carpet," Shikamaru said.

_"A-are you sure about this, Sakura? It could be dangerous." Hinata tapped her fingers together, biting her lip._

_"Of course! I mean, if you're up to it." Hinata chewed a little on her bottom lip, blushing a little. "I…I guess, as long as you're sure."_

_"Alright!" Sakura smiled again, her face framed in soft pink hair. "Let's go back to my place so we can get you fixed up." She took Hinata's hand and lead her from the bench._

_"So, what exactly happened, anyway?" Sakura had dropped Hinata's hand and was leading the way to her apartment._

_"Well, N-Neji and I were practicing our Byakugan, and he got past my hand and…well, he says he didn't aim for a fatal place, and it doesn't hurt much, so we t-think…hope…it's minor."_

_"Well, I better check, just to make sure. And hey, I hope you don't mind that we have to go through my parents' apartment to get to mine. It's adjoining property."_

_"No, it's okay…" Hinata hid her hands in her sleeves, watching the ground pass under her. Sakura opened the door, holding it and standing aside. "Well, go in!"_

_"O-of course…" Hinata entered in small steps, pale eyes kept below Sakura's face. The medical expert shut the door behind them and directed Hinata up the stairs._

_"Sakura-chan! Where have you been!" came a voice from downstairs._

_"At Gondaime's place, Mom!"_

_"Who's with you?"_

_"My first patient!"_

_"Congratulations, sweetie! Just call down if you need anything."_

_"Okay, Mom, I will, thanks!" Sakura rolled her eyes and let Hinata enter her apartment._

"Hm. I know a way that Sakura's mom could help out..." Kiba snickered.

"...Okay, that's just WRONG, Kiba. Don't make me pound your perverted ass to the ground," Sakura said, eyes flashing as she cracked her knuckles.

"...Right..." Kiba (who knew when to quit) said.

_Sakura's room was clean, except for a small corner littered with papers and medical books. It smelled of lavender—a known aphrodisiac—and a pretty indigo color theme. "Sorry about the mess," Sakura apologized nonchalantly._

_"I-It's nothing…" Hinata whispered, her fingers clutching under her long traditional sleeves. Sakura swept out some wrinkles on her bed and suggested Hinata sit down. She did, still fidgeting and fingering her chest wrap._

_"So," Sakura said, digging out her aid kit, "where does it hurt?"_

_"It doesn't really h-hurt…but it's kind of…around…"_

_"Hinata, I'm going to need to know where you're injured." Sakura looked up, a serious expression on her face. The professional air of Sakura's solemness gave Hinata the comfort to point out the area. She blushed darkly and murmured, "It's around…here." Sakura's look of concern disappeared and was replaced by light shock as Hinata indicated her breasts. For the first time, Sakura noticed that she even had them…it had been awhile since they'd seen each other last, and it seemed Hinata had caught up, hormone-wise. No, more than caught up._

"Caught up? She's been in the lead for the whole time!" Ino said, making Hinata blush even more.

"I know! How do you do it, Hinata? How do you manage to have such big boobs?" Sakura asked bluntly.

Hinata, blushing madly at this point, said, "Um...Genetics...?"

"Well, Hanabi is starting to show promise as well...that might be the reason," Kiba said.

"...You've been checking out TEN-YEAR-OLD HANABI?" Sakura said, leering at Kiba with a sickened look on her face.

"Hey, it's hard NOT to look. Just think about how she'll look when she's Hinata's age!" Kiba replied.

_"Well…uh…I'm gonna hafta ask you to, um, remove your…" Sakura bashfully indicated the same area._

_Hinata's blush deepened, her cheeks turning almost red. "Oh…okay." She slid the shoulders of her robe down, exposing pale, fragile shoulders and a curvy collarbone. Sakura couldn't help but watch as her long fingers unclipped the bandages and slowly unwrapped them. Soon, soft, round breasts were revealed, with small pinkish nipples and a few bruises where Neji had struck._

_This is going to be really awkward…Sakura examined them carefully, making sure not to directly touch anywhere especially sensitive. "It's kinda cold in here…should I open a window?"_

_"N-no…it's okay." Hinata pulled at the shoulders of her robe, which were resting on her elbows. Sakura stood upright and stated professionally, "I'm going to have to ask you to lie down on your back…on the floor, just to be safe." Hinata complied wordlessly, laying down, her hair coming undone and strands of shiny purple scattered across the plush carpet. The way she did everything so quietly, and with such bashfulness…Sakura was surprised no boy in Konoha had taken advantage of her already. She was so timid and complied at a word…maybe everyone was afraid of getting caught hunting the Leaf's shy little bunny of a girl._

Hinata took a bit of offense at the 'Shy little bunny' line. She could be assertive when she wanted to be! ...Just not in front of people.

And she was capable of protecting herself, thank you very much! ...It's just that her father and Neji-nii-san always did it first.

Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself.

_Sakura pressed her fingers firmly just below Hinata's vocal cords. "Does this hurt?"_

_"N-no…" came a quiet response from below her. Sakura sought out a coffee-colored bruise on her and pressed again. She heard Hinata withdraw a breath sharply, and drew back her hand. "Did you get hit here?"_

_"Y-yes…"_

_"Okay, then." Sakura delayed a moment before drawing healing power into her hand and resting it tenderly on Hinata's breast. Green flames drew out from her palms and soaked slowly into soft, injured skin. The bruise began to shrink, and Sakura could feel Hinata's body working with her. She removed her hand, and asked quietly, "Does that feel better?"_

_"Y-yes, Sakura-san…"_

_Sakura bit her lip, damming strange but strong feelings. This innocent, shy girl, laying half-naked under her, gave her a desperate urge to…_

"Kiss her?" Shikamaru said.

"Caress her?" Sasuke said.

"Fuck her brains out?" Kiba put in.

...Right before he got his head driven through the ground by a chakra-enhanced fist.

"I warned you, mutt." Sakura said.

Shino, staring at the now Ostrich-like Kiba, said, "I've been wanting to say this. Open mouth, insert foot."

Kiba just gave a muffled grumble in reply.

_"Does this feel better?" Sakura asked again, pink hair falling across her face as she closed a small slice in a vein across Hinata's left breast. "Y-yes…thank you, Sakura…" Hinata smiled, looking for a second into Sakura's glimmering green eyes, before averting her gaze once again._

_Sakura bit down harder, feeling a drop of blood slither down into her mouth. She fought hopelessly against a growing lust, and delayed, hovering above Hinata with a pained expression. "Is e-everything alright, Sakura-san?" came the small voice from below her again. Sakura smiled and replied, "Yes, everything's going to be fine. It's just a few open veins; very little internal bleeding."_

_"Th-that's good to hear." Hinata smiled again, the small-lipped smile that reached her eyes. Sakura began to close the last bruise, her fingers skimming Hinata's skin and bringing a small shiver up her spine. She saw the last of the little blood spot disappear, and looked down sadly. Of course, Hinata didn't know where the bruises were or how many of them there had been…but should she…?_

"Yes. Yes, she should. And she WILL. Otherwise, this Laptop will meet a horrible, flaming DEATH," Sasuke said.

"You do realize that this Laptop is MINE, right?" Tsunade said, glaring at the Uchiha.

"Hey, I've been a missing-nin once already. Don't think I'll have any problem doing it again," Sasuke replied.

_Sakura smiled down at her and lit one finger with the green healing flame. She drew it cautiously down Hinata's cheek, watching the cut close. "You d-didn't have to do that, Sakura-san…it would have healed okay."_

_"I know I didn't have to…I wanted to." Sakura smiled, her pink lips drawing up in a fine curve. She leaned down closer, examining her adorable little patient with slightly sadistic eyes. Dark teenage lust took hold of her fingers, and she leaned down to part Hinata's lips and reach her tongue down into the wet depth of Hinata's mouth. She broke the kiss with a wet sound, and saw Hinata's eyes wide and shocked._

"Oh, baby, it's starting!" Kiba cheered, pulling his head out of the ground.

Hinata was as red as she could be. Without even realizing it, she shifted her gaze to Sakura, who was also blushing at the fact that SHE had made the first move in the fic (though not as much as Hinata).

If she had to be honest with herself, she had thought of what it would be like being with the one woman that her Naruto-kun seemed to love unconditionaly.

Unknown to her, Sakura had some-what the same thoughts as she.

_Sakura traced a rosy nipple with her index finger. "Does this hurt?"_

_"N-no…"_

_Sakura ran her fingers up and closed them around Hinata's breast firmly. "Does this hurt?"_

_"S-Sakura-san, I don't think this is…"_

_"Does this hurt?" Sakura let her hair fall over Hinata's skin as she licked the tip of Hinata's warm chest. She heard a gasp from Hinata and placed her mouth daintily around it, running her warm tongue over it. Hinata managed to catch her breath and murmured, "It d-doesn't hurt…" Sakura placed her teeth around it and suckled gently, running her fingers up to Hinata's collarbone and gently stroking. She lifted her head and asked again, "Does this hurt?"_

_"Oh…no…." Hinata closed her eyes and tilted her head back, submissive nature allowing Sakura to touch her with such intention. Sakura's tongue protruded from her wet mouth and ran up Hinata's skin. It left a small trail of saliva up her collarbone and along her neck. Sakura pushed Hinata's hair back, licked the corner of Hinata's jaw, and whispered into her ear, "Does this hurt?"_

"If this fic is referring to my throbbing erection, then yes, it does hurt. But in a good way," Kiba said, licking his lips as he read every line.

"...I didn't need to know that, Kiba. ...Even if I'm the same way right now," Sasuke replied.

Sakura didn't know wheather to be flattered or disturbed that her Sasuke-kun seemed to like the idea of her being with other women, much less Hinata.

Hinata herself looked to see what Naruto's reaction was. She wasn't dissapointed. Her blonde boy was apperently feeling a bit hot under the coller as he kept fiddling around with it as his eyes took in the words, and his head visioned them.

_Hinata allowed a moan to escape and answered, "It f-feels…"_

_"…Good?" Sakura finished, kissing down Hinata's neck. "Y-yes…it feels…" Sakura nibbled at the soft indentation where her neck met sloping shoulders. Her left hand pressed up against Hinata's other breast, gently pinching the hardening nipple between her fingers. She heard Hinata's fingernails scrape the carpet as her hands tensed into fists. Sakura smiled against Hinata's neck, and her lips barely touched it when she spoke. "Hinata, you don't have any pressing appointments, do you?" she asked, tightening her grip on Hinata's tit. "Oh!...No…not for this afternoon…"_

_"Good. I want to examine you." Sakura was surprised at her sadistic tone, but hormones allowed her to ignore it. She sucked on the nape of Hinata's neck, lashing her tongue against it and hearing Hinata make small, orgasmic noises._

"Hey, Tsunade-sama! Mind if I...barrow the Laptop for a while after we finish reading these fanfictions?" Kiba asked.

"Pfft. And let you spill 'Vanilla Ice Cream' all over it? Fat chance, Kiba," Tsunade scoffed.

"Wait, why would Kiba be eating Ice Cream while reading fanfiction?" Naruto questioned.

"...You CAN'T be serious," Sasuke said. "That's something I'd expect from Lee!"

"I too am wondering why Kiba would partake in the act of eating Ice Cream while reading," Lee put in.

"..." Sasuke went.

_Sakura's hand crept down to tug at Hinata's skirt. She began to pull it up, softly defined calves and supple thighs unconcealed. With a firm yank, Sakura used her strength to remove Hinata's panties, feeling a little moistness against her fingers. Her tongue slipped down onto Hinata's nipple again, and her hand slid under the skirt to trace around Hinata's slit. She felt muscles inside contract and cum begin to wetten her fingers. "S-s-Sakura-san!" Hinata murmured in surprise. "I-I didn't think…"_

_For one moment, a single second, Sakura's hormones receded. "It's okay, Hinata…"_

_"O-okay…" Hinata allowed herself to be taken advantage of, stretching out farther and arching her spine. Sakura's finger dawdled teasingly over Hinata's clit before moving in painfully slow circles. "Oh…S-Sakura…you…" Sakura slid her finger up and down, feeling Hinata succumb to perverse wanting. She slid herself down and pushed the skirt up the rest of the way. Hinata smelled sweet, like a summer flower, or sugar. Sakura slowly ran her long tongue up Hinata's pussy, feeling cum gush out._

"Oh sweet Kami-sama, there's ORAL too!" Kiba howled, excited beyond all belief.

Naruto, on the other hand, looked a little sick. "But isn't that where women-"

"Finish that sentence, dobe, and I will CASTRATE you where you SIT," Sasuke snarled at Naruto, who shrunk back in fear.

Sakura and Hinata were feeling a bit hot themselves. But they didn't want to admit it (Sakura in particular).

_"Oh! Sakura! Y-you…" Sakura ran her tongue up again and cast a glance upwards. Hinata began to pant, blushing furiously, and tightened her grip on the carpet. "Sakura! You're…"_

_"I'm…?" Sakura broke away once for the question before planting a strong kiss on the soft lips between Hinata's legs. She felt thigh muscles, sleek and strong, tense against her cheeks. She reached a hand up to run it along Hinata's side, feeling her rib cage expand and contract with quick breathing._

_"Sakura! You're…oh…" Sakura lapped at Hinata's clit, sweet cum seeping from the welcoming hole below it. She smiled and pushed the lips wider with two firm fingers. With another long lick, Hinata moaned loudly. Sakura pushed her tongue inside Hinata and moved it, enjoying the submissive sounds of moaning and soft cries of pleasure. "Sa…mmm…oh!" Hinata almost sat up, her pussy warm and pounding with concentrated blood. Sakura slid her tongue in and out, licking up into a pleasing spot. Her other hand groped Hinata's breast, rubbing her hot nipple with her thumb. Hinata opened her mouth wider, emitting an orgasmic cry. Sakura moved her tongue faster, pinching the erect nipple and swallowing cum as it came out. "Sakura! Saku…you…oh my…g—Sakura!" Hinata shouted as she reached her climax in a fit of tense muscles and warm cum. She collapsed onto her back, panting._

_Sakura sat up and slipped Hinata's skirt back down. She wiped the corners of her mouth with her hand and smiled. "There. All better."_

"Ahem. I'll be going to the washroom now," Kiba said, standing up to go.

"Why? You need to go on the can?" Naruto said bluntly.

"No. It's just that it's morally wrong to start tugging my rug in front of everyone, so I need to do it in private," Kiba replied, just as bluntly. He turned to Shikamaru. "Don't you DARE check out the other chapters until I get back, got it?" And he left.

Everyone had shocked looks on their faces. Except for Naruto and Sasuke.

"...You don't know what 'Tugging My Rug' even MEANS, do you?" Sasuke asked, eyes half-lidded.

"...Not a clue," Naruto admitted.

"...I swear, you learning the Sexy Jutsu must have been a fluke," Sasuke sighed.

* * *

And that's all for now. I hope you liked the reactions! Catch you next continue!


	23. Four Part YURI special! Part 2

There's Fanfiction about us!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: Shikamaru gets a laptop, and discovers our website. Major OOCness!

* * *

Okay, here is part two of the 4-Part Yuri Special! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Kiba finally came back into the room...after about 30 minutes.

"Man, Kiba, that must have been one LONG and HEAVY rug that you had to tug if it took you THAT LONG!" Naruto said.

Kiba smirked at the unintentional complement. "Oh, you BET your ramen eating ass it was! Anyway, I'm ready to see the next chapter!"

"About time, you mutt," Sasuke said, having wanted to see the next chapter for quite a while now.

Shikamaru just sighed, and clicked to the next chapter.

* * *

_Hinata, still trembling, sat up and wiped some saliva from her chin. "You…w-why did you do that?"  
_

_Sakura sat back abruptly, an ashamed look mixed with shock on her face. "I thought you enjoyed it…_

* * *

"Oh, I think the moaning that she was doing was proof enough for THAT!" Kiba snickered.

"Indeed," Sasuke agreed, nodding his head.

"...Of all the people that I would have thought were perverts, you were the LAST person I expected, teme," Naruto said to the Uchiha.

"I'm NOT perverted. ...I'm just rather lustful when it comes to yuri," Sasuke scoffed.

* * *

_"Oh no, it's not that, not at all!" Hinata drew the hand over her mouth. "I-I was just wondering, why you d-decided to…"  
_

_Sakura leaned back on one cum-covered hand and sighed, chewing her lip again. "…I don't know. I guess I like you, Hinata." She averted her gaze to the beautiful day flowing just outside the windowsill._

_I guess I like you, Hinata…Hinata…I like you…Hinata openly gaped from where she sat. She'd only felt this way when Naruto had said something similar a couple years ago.Like you, Hinata. Her blush grew deep into her pale cheeks, and her hand cupped over her mouth._

_Sakura turned and looked at Hinata, her chin over her sloping shoulder. "What's wrong Hinata?" Hinata dropped her hand from her mouth and fiddled with the gauze resting around her stomach. "N-nothing! I was just…"_

_"Caught off-guard, I know." Sakura sighed and returned her gaze to the outside world, where bees hummed over blossoms sprinkled across branches. "I'm sorry…for all of it."_

_"No, don't be!" Hinata tied her robe shut and slid over next to Sakura. Her cheeks turned the color of the cherry blossoms as she barely whispered above the bees, "I liked it."_

* * *

"KNEW IT!" Kiba said in Victory.

"My cousin would NEVER like something that involves...THAT!" Neji said, embarrassing poor Hinata.

"Then why does she dream about bedding the dobe every single night?" Sasuke retorted.

"I do not!" Hinata said in a tiny voice. _'...It's every OTHER night...'_

* * *

_"You did?" There was a curious mix of interest and surprise on Sakura's face. "I was worried I was...going against your will."  
_

_"W-well, I wasn't expecting it…but, I d-did enjoy it." Hinata gave Sakura a rare, long look, the lavender in her eyes contrasting beautifully with the pink and purple outside. "I….want to return the favor."_

* * *

"Oh FUCK yes! And I mean that quite well, thank you very much," Kiba smirked.

"It just wouldn't be kind of her if she didn't," Sasuke agreed, as the two hi-fived.

"When did Sasuke-kun get so perverted...?" Sakura said to herself.

"And since when did this become a Kiba and Sasuke friendship fic?" Shikamaru said to himself.

* * *

_Sakura looked straight into Hinata's face, her jaw slipping slightly. "You do?!"  
_

_Hinata nibbled her fingernails and looked away, her coy demeanor returning. "Y-yes…if you'd like me t-to…"_

* * *

"Of COURSE she wants you to! So do it!" Kiba panted, wanting to image Hinata doing that sort of thing.

Sakura and Hinata couldn't explain it. Before they read this fic, they had NEVER thought about the other in that way.

...But now that it came up, they couldn't help but be a bit...curious.

* * *

_"Uh, sure…I mean, of course!" Sakura leaned back from the windowsill and lay down on the soft carpet of her room. Hinata gulped and soon joined her. How are you supposed to do this…? Hinata leaned unsteadily over Sakura, balanced on one braced arm. "S-sorry if this isn't perfect, I-I've never…"_

_"It's okay, Hinata." Sakura loved the shyness of the pretty Hyuuga girl. She was so fragile and bashful, like a maiko. Her hands cupped Sakura's jaw gently, the long fingers brushing back glossy pink bangs. Hinata kissed her neck, the petal-like lips touching her skin with distant wanting. Her tongue protruded from her mouth, licking up and lashing on Sakura's jaw, warranting a low moan. The hand she wasn't braced on was traveling slowly across Sakura's chest, lead by a single finger along her collarbone. _

_Hinata slid her hand into Sakura's shirt, and her fingers soon reached an erect nipple. As her tongue ran over Sakura's waiting lips, an idea came to her. Under her closed eyelids, her eyes paled as chakra swam under her skin. She channeled a small amount of energy into Sakura's breast, and received a moan deep into her mouth. _

_Her tongue entered Sakura's parted lips, and she rubbed it slowly against her partner's. Sakura's spine arched a little from the ground, and Hinata took it as a sign to go farther._

* * *

"Heh...didn't know that you could use Chakra like THAT..." Kiba snickered.

"Kiba, stop being so perverted. It stopped being funny last chapter," Tenten said.

"Hey, you can never be TOO perverted!" Kiba replied.

"Trying telling that to Jiraiya after what I do to him whenever HE'S too perverted..." Tsunade grumbled.

* * *

_As Sakura moaned from Hinata's fingers tracing down her skin, Hinata nibbled on the tip of her ear and ran her tongue across Sakura's chest. Hinata found her balance at last and leaned over Sakura, both her hands now free. She planted a long kiss on open lips, her tongue curling against Sakura's lips. One hand rested, fingers rubbing lightly, on a smooth hipbone, and the other rubbed Sakura's nipple gently between fragile fingers. _

_Sakura broke the kiss as she started panting. Hinata moved her anxious hand into Sakura's shorts, and the elastic of her panties, wet with anticipating cum, was lifted. Hinata felt the warm liquid slippery on her fingers and dragged one finger tentatively over Sakura's clit, releasing chakra into her nervous system. _

_Sakura gasped, and almost sat up. Hinata rubbed it slowly, leaving a trail of wet kisses down Sakura's torso. She licked the erect nipple, feeling a shiver traveling along Sakura's back. She licked again, running her wet tongue over the sensitive nub and massaging her with an awkward willingness._

* * *

"Sweet KAMI this is hot..." Kiba panted, his hand slowly reaching for his pants.

"Keep your hand away from the pants, Kiba, or you will find yourself one rug SHORT," Kurenai said.

Kiba gluped, and brought his hand away from his pants. "Ah well, there's always the bathroom!"

* * *

_Hinata jumped unnoticeably as her finger slid into Sakura. She thrust slowly and felt muscles working inside. Sakura moaned audibly, her eyes closed and her head tilted back. Fingers worked faster, cum soaking Sakura's bikini-cuts as she panted heavily and let out small, vocal gasps. Hinata smiled against Sakura's breast and moved to the other one, shoving the shirt higher. "Mmm…Hinata…" _

_Hinata raised her eyebrows at hearing her name, but quickly returned to sucking on the soft area and pumping her finger in and out of Sakura. She quickened the pace, Sakura's cum slick in the small opening. The noises hidden in Sakura's gasps became loud, audible syllables. _

_"H-Hinata…oh my…god…" _

_Hinata, in a swift passing second of dominance, nibbled on the hot nipple before she leaned back to push deeper into Sakura. Sakura's arms twisted and moved over her head, and her sleek, revealed thighs lifted her legs into the air. Hinata's fingers rubbed against Sakura's clit as they went deeper into her, and her other hand slid up and down the side of Sakura's body, stretched and arched in impending orgasm across the floor. Hinata's hand blurred in a fit of cum and thrusts as Sakura began to cum onto her pushing fingers. _

_"H-Hina…!" With a last orgasmic syllable, Sakura's hips thrust up, her orgasm apparent in her climactic shout and cum pouring onto Hinata's hand._

* * *

"Man, nothing better than a squirter!" Kiba said, nodding his head.

"You got that right." Sasuke said, giving Kiba a low-five.

"Okay, STOP THAT! You guys are creeping me out with the whole buddy-buddy routine!" Naruto shouted.

"We know." Both Sasuke and Kiba said, smirking at the enraged Naruto.

* * *

_Sakura sat up, smearing Hinata's saliva as she rubbed the back of her neck. "Huh," she managed to say while sloppily fixing her panties._

_"I-I'm sorry…I know it wasn't good…b-but…" Sakura shook herself from the last of her powerful orgasm and said, "No, Hinata! It was…amazing," she finished dreamily._

_"Really?" Hinata looked at her and blushed faintly, wiping the cum off on her excess bandages._

_"Really really." Sakura smiled and swung her arms around her knees. "It was great."_

_Hinata took on her usual shocked and flattered look. "Th-thank you, Sakura-san."_

_"What're you thanking me for? I should thank you!...So, thanks." Sakura's playful grin was back on her face. She twiddled her fingers and sought a new subject as Hinata did the same. "So…you're not still hurting, right?"_

_Hinata contemplated this as a metaphoric question. Sakura looked genuine, but if something wasn't wrong when she got under the clothing, would she 'examine' her again? If Sakura did decide to, did she want her to?_

_Yes._

_"Yes…It hurts a l-little…right here," Hinata directed to her chest with her small, shining smile as she began to untie her robe._

* * *

"And the fun just keeps on coming!" Kiba howled. "...Though, I'm a bit disappointed that Hinata didn't go down on Sakura..."

"Speaking of which, where did those two go?" Kakashi questioned.

The rest of the gang looked around, and saw that the two WERE missing.

Then they looked at each other.

"...You don't think that..." Kiba began.

Silence

"...NAH!" They all went, going to the next chapter.

* * *

And that's all for now. Two more parts to go before we get back to the main fic! Catch you next continue!


	24. First Encounter With Bashing! Part 1

There's Fanfiction about Us!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

Sakura and Hinata came back into Shikamaru's living room, their clothes hanging various ways, and the both of them flushed bright red and breathing heavily.

Everyone else in the room just stared at them.

…For about five minutes.

"…WHAT?" Sakura said, catching her breath.

"…You lasted that long?" Sasuke asked, looking upon Sakura with new found respect.

"What are you talking about, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said, tilting her head to the side.

"…What he means is…we know what you and Hinata were doing back there," Shikamaru began.

"You do?" Sakura said.

"We do?" Naruto said.

"…Well, _most_ of us do," Shikamaru said, glaring at Naruto. "The point is…we know that you're young. And that reading something as…strong as that lemon, would cause you to be interested in…experimenting. But really…NEARLY THREE WHOLE YEARS? You were in there doing GOD knows what for NEARLY THREE WHOLE YEARS?"

"…There was a lot to explore," Sakura said simply.

"Enough that it took you NEARLY THREE YEARS?" Shikamaru roared.

"Now, Shikamaru, that's just a sign that their youth is at an all time high!" Gai (who was rather happy to have gotten a big role in the one of the late chapters of the manga) said. "Back when I was their age, I lasted MUCH longer than that!"

"…No. No you didn't. You had to have taken breaks in between. Otherwise, you'd have died."

"Let's just say that the 'Eight Inner Gates' have many, _many,_ uses," Gai replied.

"…You know what? Forget it. Let's just ignore the fact that Sakura and Hinata had a Three year sex fest that shouldn't be possible in any sense of the word. Hell, stranger things have happened in the manga," Shikamaru sighed.

"So…let's get back to the yuri fest!" Kiba cheered.

"Forget it. We've seen what happened when we did that. No, instead of wasting three more years of everyone's lives, we're just gonna move on to another fic. One that doesn't have any yuri," Shikamaru said. He held up a hand to stop Kiba from protesting. "And if you so much as grumble about this Kiba, then I'll tell everyone about the incident with Akamaru and the pudding."

Kiba went pale, as did his furry friend. "You swore you'd never speak of that again!"

"No, I swore that I'd store it away for future ammo," Shikamaru reminded him. "So, let's see if I can find a good _non-yuri_ fic."

After taking a look at the front page after reloading the site, Shikamaru found a fic that caught his eye.

* * *

_Naruto Chaos Mage_

_What if the Kyubi wasn't the only thing sealed inside Naruto? What if he finds out in his early childhood? Watch Naruto as he reveals his true self when he graduates from the Academy. NarutoxHarem. Sakura/Sasuke/Kiba bashing. M for violence/adult themes_

* * *

"Oh goody, another fic where Naruto gets a harem," Kiba deadpanned. "What's so different about this one?"

"I wonder...what does the word, 'bashing' mean? Like a Birthday Bash?" Naruto said, rubbing his chin in thought.

"And why do only Sasuke-kun, Kiba and I get a 'bashing'?" Sakura wondered.

"Well, this story has over One-Thousand reviews, so it must be good. Right?" Ino shrugged.

"We've got nothing better to do, anyway. Click on it, Shikamaru," Neji said.

"Fine," Shikamaru replied, doing so.

* * *

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I do not ow__n Negima or Naruto. Negima is the property of Ken Akamatsu, and Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto._

* * *

"Who the hell is Masashi Kishimoto, and why am I his property?" Naruto said.

"Hell if I know, dobe," Sasuke shrugged.

"And what the hell is 'Negima'?" Sakura asked.

"Apparently, it's another story that we've been connected to in this fic," Shikamaru replied.

* * *

_Italics text = character thinking to themselves._

_Underline+Italics = character communicating with telepathy_

**Bold text = shouting**

_**Bold+Italcs = C**__**asting Spell/Ability**_

* * *

"Huh. Guess this is a little Help Tab so that we know when someone does what," Kiba said.

"Okay, I'll remember it in case we need it," Shikamaru replied.

* * *

_It was a normal morning in Konaha, the Village hidden in the Leaves. The ninja we__re at their posts, the merchants were opening their shops, the Hokage Monument was vandalized…. __**Wha?**_

_"__**Get back here brat!"**__ an angry chunin yelled as he and another five, plus four ANBU were on the rooftops chasing an orange clad blond, with blue eyes and t__hree whisker marks on each cheek._

_"Ha! You're just jealous you didn't have the guts to do it yourself! I did 'cause my face will be on that mountain in the future!" the blond yelled back over his shoulder. Looking ahead again, he grinned and took a corner in an empty alleyway._

"...This guy spelled 'Konoha' wrong," Shino deadpanned.

"It was probably just a mistake. I'm sure that we won't be seeing too many of those in this fic!" Tenten assured.

"And besides that, they seem to really know Naruto well enough to get his habits right. I can just imagine him doing something like this," Sakura sighed.

* * *

_"__**We'll get you executed for this, demon!"**__ another yelled and the group rushed on his tail._

* * *

"Why are they calling Naruto a demon? Just because he pulled a prank?" Lee inquired.

"And that's hardly a cause for execution, wouldn't you say?" Gai agreed.

"Come to think of it, why are there ANBU chasing after Naruto, anyway? Wouldn't they have something better to do?" Sasuke said.

* * *

_That's what they thought anyway, because as soon as they were out of sight the blond removed the camouflage and stepped away from the wall._

_"Heh, amateurs!" the boy grinned._

_"Is that so?" said a calm voice from behind him, making him jump in surprise._

_"Iruka-sensei! What are you doing here?" the blond asked innocently. It was worth a try, right?_

_"Oh, just looking for the troublemaker that vandalized the Hokage Monument. About your age, blond, with blue eyes and wearing a "kill me" orange jumpsuit. You wouldn't happen to see him did you? Maybe in the mirror, eh Naruto?" Iruka asked ironically._

_"HEY! Orange is my favorite color! Leave my jumpsuit out of this!" Naruto replied a little angry._

* * *

"YEAH!" Naruto shouted, agreeing. "Why does everyone bag on the jumpsuit just because of its color? Sakura-chan wears red, Hinata-chan wears white, Sasuke-teme wears freaking _blue, _why doesn't anyone get on their case about it in these fics?"

"Not to mention that Joke could use a...little work," Neji said.

* * *

_"Cut the chitchat, you have to clean the monument by the end of the day. I already spoke to the Hokage about it." Iruka said handing him a bucket and a rag._

_"By the end of the day! It took me four hours to paint it!" Naruto said desperately._

_"Yep, plenty of time right?" Iruka gave him a slight grin._

_"You're evil." Naruto mumbled as he made his way towards the Monument with Iruka on his tail._

_"Comes with the job." Iruka replied._

_"With being a ninja?" Naruto asked surprised._

_"No, being an Academy teacher."_

_"Should have figured. Teachers are evil" Naruto mumbled._

* * *

"...I take it back. _This_ joke is the one that needs work," Neji said. "It wasn't funny, and I could see it coming from a mile away...and that's not just because it's in writing, either."

"Aren't you being a bit harsh, Neji? With how many reviews it's got, it must get better soon!" Naruto said.

"We'll see," Neji scoffed.

* * *

_During that evening at the Ichiraku ramen stand, Iruka and Naruto were enjoying a bowl of miso ramen. __Well, Iruka was enjoying a bowl… Naruto was at his eighth._

_"Remind me to treat you only on my payday." Iruka said to Naruto as he handed the money to Teuchi, the owner._

_"Cheapskate." Naruto smiled with content._

_"Anyway Naruto, make sure you're not late tomorrow at the Academy. Wouldn't want to miss the exams, right?" Iruka said._

_"You mean again, right?" Naruto glared at him._

_"No, I know it wasn't your fault last time. Just make sure to wake at least two hours early." "To have time to avoid those mobs" he added to himself. Before the last exam, a mob had cornered Naruto and put him in the Hospital for a week, not wanting the demon to get more powerful._

* * *

"Why do they keep using that word? Naruto-kun is not a demon!" Lee declared.

"And really, if they were powerful enough to send Naruto to the hospital, then why didn't they just finish the job if they're afraid of him that much?" Shikamaru said. "So far, I'm not really seeing how this fic was able to amass One-Thousand reviews."

"Tell me about it," Naruto muttered. _'I mean sure, the villagers did hate and ignore me, but they never called me a demon in b__road daylight, and they NEVER beat me up in mobs! Old Man Sarutobi would have kicked their asses if they even tried!'_

* * *

_"Sure thing, sensei." Naruto nodded in understanding._

_As he entered his house that night, Naruto stepped over several tripwires and ducked under the blade that was meant to decapitate him. Apparently, some villagers visited his apartment again. No mater, they just gave him more materials to work with. As he dissembled the traps he got two dozen high quality kunai and a very interesting sword. Whoever put it there really wanted him dead. The blade was made of a chakra absorbing metal that could permanently contain it until released on the enemy. This one in particular contained fire element chakra at the moment. Too bad for them, he was able to sense it since he left Ichiraku._

* * *

"...What. Since when was _this guy..._" Neji began, pointing at Naruto. "...an expert at disassembling traps? And why the hell would some random villagers waste their time doing all of this just because Naruto pulled a couple of pranks?"

"The writer of this fic must really have it out for Naruto," Chouji said, snacking on some chips.

"If that were the case, he wouldn't be getting a harem in this story," Kiba pointed out.

"…When the hell has Naruto been able to sense chakra?" Tsunade deadpanned.

* * *

_Yes, he could sense chakra from very far away and even differentiate chakra signatures. He could easily tell who the blade had belonged to, but he knew better then to try to make a complaint to the council._

_Even though he was attending the Academy, he was still technically a civilian, so the civilian council would be the ones giving the verdict: that he stole it. All those on the civilian council were bastards with him, they always found him guilty for everything. They even made stuff up occasionally, probably from boredom._

* * *

"Wow. This author is making pretty much making everyone act like dicks towards me," Naruto said. "…And since when did we have a Civilian Council?"

"Since never, Naruto," Tsunade replied. "Must have been something the writer made up.

* * *

_The ninja side of the council was usually on his side, when he wasn't doing pranks anyway. Everyone besides Hyuga Hiashi, of course. The Hyuga head was always trying to make his life hell. He hated the man and the feeling was obviously mutual._

* * *

"F-Father doesn't hate Naruto-kun. He's just annoyed by him because of all the pranks he does," Hinata said.

"And yet another thing made up," Shikamaru said.

"I wonder what else he comes up with," Ino said.

* * *

_The Hokage was his often his only ray of hope in getting out of all the crap the council was holding him responsible for._

_Well, he could have done it himself, but he decided not to the day he put on his mask._

_Yes, that fateful day over seven tears ago. It was October 10th, his birthday, but for the village it was the day of the Kyubi' attack and it' imprisonment in a human body. The Yondaime Hokage, gave his life and soul to the Shinigami in the process of sealing the Fox, asking for the child that now carried this burden to be seen as a hero. And the villagers did obviously the right thing in their opinion: they repeatedly tried to murder the demon boy in order to finish the Yondaime' work and avenge him._

* * *

"…It's not getting better, Tenten," Shino said.

"Come on, Shino, the 't' is right next to the 'y'. It's a simple mistake!" Tenten said.

"Doesn't change the fact that the author could have used spell check," Sasuke stated.

* * *

_"Morons…" Naruto mumbled, recalling how he woke up in the Hospital._

_Flashback_

_As he opened his eyes, he saw a white ceiling. Blinking to adjust his eyes, he felt something covering his mouth and air flowing from it._

_"Oxygen tube?... Damn, I'm in the Hospital again. At least I'm alive. That's good news at least. Probably…" he thought as he tilted his head to the side, noticing and old man sitting next to him._

_"How are you feeling Naruto?" Sarutobi asked concerned._

* * *

"Why doesn't the Hokage sound angry? If someone did that to Naruto in real life, heads would roll," Asuma said.

"Tell me about it," Shikamaru said. "Even more so since the Villagers in the real world _like _Naruto now."

"Still, this fic has One-Thousand reviews. It's gotta get better later!" Tenten, ever the optimist, assured.

* * *

_"As long as nobody tries to poison me while I'm here, I'll be fine." Naruto mumbled._

_"Well, considering that all your wounds are healed, you can leave in an hour. So I wouldn't be too concerned." Sarutobi said amused and depressed at the same time._

* * *

"What's so amusing about a five year old in the hospital?" Kakashi said, sweat dropping. "If Sarutobi knew that someone did that to Naruto, he would have skinned them alive.

"I agree. So far, the Former Hokage is acting pretty out of character," Gai said.

"If he was still alive, he would've been glaring at this story right now," Asuma said.

* * *

_"Wha? That means I've been out at least a week, in order for all that to heal!" he said surprised._

_"Actually, you've been here a night. You must have dreamed some more injuries in the meantime." the old man said, avoiding looking him in the eye. That immediately made Naruto suspicious. The old man was hiding something and it wasn't the first time. It usually happened when Naruto did something weird._

_And thinking about it, healing that level of injury definitely classified as weird. Just that chakra enhanced blade in the gut would have killed him… In the gut… "Hold on!" he suddenly remembered seeing something right before he lost consciousness. There was something on his belly where he was stabbed. "Hm, I'll check it out later, when I'm alone." he decided._

* * *

"…And he's not going to tell Sarutobi about this, why?" Kurenai said flatly.

"Apparently, it's because he wants to look cool, or because Sarutobi can't do anything about it. Sarutobi, one of the most powerful Ninjas in the world and current Hokage at this time in the story, can't do anything about a mob of regular civilians," Sakura deadpanned.

"Even if he couldn't kill them for some stupid reason, he could at least imprison them," Tsunade said, face palming.

* * *

_"Of course I did! I'm amazing!" he said loudly, making the old man chuckle._

_"You sure are, Naruto" he smiled "More then you know"._

_Later, after the Hokage and his ANBU guards have taken him home and got rid of the traps that 'mysteriously' appeared all over the place, Naruto found himself in the bathroom staring at the mirror._

_"Well, there's nothing there." he deadpanned after looking at his belly for a few minutes. "Still, those markings looked familiar. I'm sure I've seen something like that on those cool pieces of paper that go boom... That's it! Seals! Ninja stuff! The old man has to know!" Naruto said happily, before he remembered the Hokage' odd behavior. "Yeah, the old man probably doesn't want me to know... And I heard he has a lot of books on seals from the Yondai..." Naruto suddenly stopped and grinned mischievously._

_The next day, he barged in the Hokage' office and put his plan in motion._

_"Hey, old man. I need your help with something so I can become the best Hokage ever!" he said with his foxy grin._

_"Naruto, I already told you, you can join the Academy when you're seven. Until then, I can't train you in any way. It wouldn't be fair to everyone else." Sarutobi sighed._

* * *

"Who wants to bet that this'll be changed pretty quickly?" Neji said.

Tsunade opened her mouth…and noticed everyone else staring at her. She closed it with a frown.

"That's what I thought," Neji said with a smirk.

* * *

_"Who said anything about training?" Naruto' grin widened._

_"What do you have in mind then?" Sarutobi asked cautiously._

_"I heard the Yondaime was famous for his seals. So I figured I should surpass him in that first" the grin almost split his face._

_"Well, it's true that you don't need to know how to use chakra to draw seals... And I suppose I could test them occasionally. But Fuinjutsu is the most complex ninja art." he said thoughtfully._

* * *

"Okay, there is no way that Sarutobi would allow something like that to happen. In the flashback, Naruto is five years old. What self respecting man, let alone Saru-freaking-tobi would allow a five year old to practice such a dangerous art?" Kakashi fumed.

"Apparently this one would," Tsunade replied.

"Dad must be rolling over in his grave right now," Asuma sighed.

* * *

_"Like you said, I have two more years to waste." Naruto shrugged._

_"True." the Sandaime sighed. "Fine, I'll give you permission to look in my personal library. Don't tell anyone and focus only on the Fuinjutsu section" he agreed, knowing Naruto would be kicked out of the Public Library._

_"Thanks Oji-san!" Naruto smiled as he followed the aged Kage to the Hokage mansion._

* * *

"So much for the 'not giving Naruto an unfair advantage' spiel from earlier," Ino deadpanned.

"I called it! Who called it! **I** called it!" Neji cheered, doing a little jig.

"…That is so out of character for you, Neji," Tenten said.

"Remember the summary? Major OOCness? That means I can behave however I want." Neji replied with a grin.

* * *

_"Here we are" Sarutobi said as they reached the Fuinjutsu section of the library._

* * *

"Damn, that was quick!" Kiba whisled.

"I'm sure the author forgot to put a line break there. There's no way they could have gotten there that quickly from the hospital," Sakura replied.

* * *

_"Ne, Oji-san! How do I open these?" the blond asked pointing at some containment seals._

_"You can't at this point. You need to channel chakra into them." Sarutobi replied._

_"So... Where can I learn how to mold chakra?" Naruto asked excited._

_"I'm pretty sure there's a book on the lower shelves. Good luck." said the old man as he left._

* * *

"This is not Sarutobi. No way in HELL would he leave a five year old alone with so many dangerous seals," Tsunade growled.

"As cool as that would have been, even I have to agree. The old man had more sense than that!" Naruto said.

* * *

_From there on, Naruto spent almost two months learning how to channel chakra. It was hard, insanely hard actually, but maybe, just maybe, the seal on his belly would tell him something about his parents. That was his drive, what kept him going._

* * *

"Wait, when was anything said about his parents? I thought his main drive was to become Hokage," Shikamaru said, scratching his head.

* * *

_During this time, he had learned that the seal appeared whenever he used his chakra. Also, it was some sort of containment seal. A VERY complex containment seal. So complex it kinda scared him a little. But he had it for years, so it couldn't be that bad, right?_

* * *

"Something bad's gonna happen, just watch," Sasuke said.

"I don't doubt it," Shino replied.

* * *

_When the third month ended, he decided to finally focus on his seal. He had found some similarities of a section of his seal to a memory containment seal. And according to the scroll he read, he could access it by meditating while channeling chakra. That translated to him as falling asleep._

_So, he lied on his bed, took a sleeping pill that he 'acquired' during his last visit at the Hospital, and started molding chakra._

"I've never heard of anyone molding chakra in their sleep before," Sakura said with a flat voice.

"That's because no one can…at least, as far as I know," Kakashi shrugged.

_In a matter of seconds he fell asleep and found himself in..._

_"A sewer? __**What-The-Hell?**__" he yelled annoyed._

_As the echo faded, a red light began to glow the opposite end of the corridor. As it got more crimson, a low growl was heard._

_Curious, Naruto followed the sound and eventually arrived in a very large chamber. It was as tall as the Hokage Monument, but couldn't guess the length as it was covered in darkness and separated from him by what looked like the doors to an enormous cage. All he could make out in that darkness were two slit crimson orbs._

_As he got closer, he noticed a paper on the cage that had the kanji for seal on it. Gradually, he realized that those eyes belonged to a huge..._

_"Fox?" he asked confused._

* * *

'…_I have to say, I never thought that you were a fox the first time that I saw you, Kyuubi,' _Naruto thought in his mind.

'_**That's because it was too dark for you to see anything but my eyes and teeth, brat,'**_ Kyuubi replied.

'…_What happened to the kit part?'_ Naruto asked.

'_**During the three year delay, I remembered that I hate your fricken guts. I know that we're all out of character, but there is a limit!'**_ Kyuubi growled.

* * *

_At that word, the eyes focused on him._

_"Hm?"_

_"Who are you?" Naruto asked confused._

_"I am the almighty Kyubi!" he roared as he raised all his nine tails._

_"...Right" Naruto sweat dropped. "Any chance you'll tell me how you are alive and more importantly why are you here?"_

* * *

"…Why the hell is Naruto not frightened out of his mind right now? If I knew that it was the freaking Kyuubi that I was staring down, I'd be at least a bit nervous," Ino said.

"Not to mention that he's, you know, _five_." Kurenai said.

* * *

_"Your father, the Yondaime, knew I couldn't be killed so he sealed me in you. Though more stuff happened in the process." Kyubi finished with a mumble._

_"My... Father... is the Yondaime..." Naruto barely said before he fainted._

* * *

"So he faints at the news that the Forth is his daddy, and yet is able to stay standing while confronting the most powerful of the Nine Biju? Makes perfect sense," Kakashi said, slapping his forehead.

* * *

_At this, Kyubi rolled his eyes and used one of his tails to splash some water on Naruto._

_"Wake up kit" he said._

_"Huh? Where... uh, right" Naruto calmed down and looked depressed. "At least now I know why the villagers hate me..."_

_"Yeah, it's 'cause they're idiots, duh!" Kyubi rolled his eyes._

* * *

'…_**Am I supposed to come off as some sort of vapid valley girl?'**_ Kyuubi snarled.

* * *

_"Hehe, can't argue with you there." Naruto chuckled. "You know, for someone that killed half of our in one night, you're not that bad."_

* * *

'_**That is the stupidest line I've ever read. Even if it was because of Madara that I attacked the village, I probably would have come myself eventually,'**_ Kyuubi scoffed.

"Half of our…what? People? Kids? Livestock? Potatoes?" Shino said, eyebrow twitching. "I'm this close to just calling the Grammar Police."

* * *

_"Thanks, I've always had people to talk to, so I didn't go insane like other Biju. Until I got sealed at least." Kyubi replied a little sad._

_"I'm sorry. Maybe I can find them and give them a message for you" Naruto suggested._

_"Thanks kit, but you misunderstood. I just can't talk to them, but they're right behind you."_

_"Huh?" Naruto turned around and saw the wall._

_Unlike the others, this one was made of crystal and inside were..._

_"People?"_

_"Yep. Let me give you a history lesson. You see, originally there was only one Biju, the Juubi. And apparently these guys used themselves to seal it. To stop the end of the world or something. But a few hundred years ago the seal was broken and the Rikudo Sennin used his Rin'negan to seal it inside himself. And when he died, he chose to split it in nine, and since I was the most powerful one, these guys were placed in me." Kyubi finished his rant._

_"Okay... But I don't get why you attacked Konoha." Naruto asked._

_"I was under a genjutsu. One moment I lay down for a nap, next thing I know is seeing the Shinigami behind your father and getting sucked in the seal." Kyubi explained._

* * *

"Bull. I refuse to believe that the freaking Kyuubi just '_lay down for a nap'_ and was caught in a genjutsu that easily. It's the fucking Kyuubi!" Tsunade said, shaking her head in disbelief.

'_**I agree with the female. That swine Madara caught me in his control, but it wasn't easy in the slightest for him!' **_Kyuubi roared.

* * *

_"So these guys got caught in the seal." Naruto summarized._

_"Yeah, the only one who knows how to let them out is the Hokage. He probably has at least one of the two control scrolls your father used." the fox confirmed._

_"Maybe if I ask him..." Naruto began._

_"Yeah, right, give the key to release a demon to a five year old! He wouldn't even show it to his most powerful ninja, let alone some brat that could get influenced by me! He would trust you with his life, I'll give you that much credit, but a Kage can't risk his village on a whim."_

"That would be the case…if the Sarutobi in this fic had any brains at all," Neji deadpanned.

_"Then I'll become Hokage! That's what I'm aiming for anyway!" Naruto declared with a thumbs-up._

_"So I heard." the demon lord said amused. "If you're serious about it, I could train you."_

_"Really?"_

* * *

'_**Sure…for your mortal SOUL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'**_ Kyuubi cackled.

* * *

_"Sure, I've got nothing better to do. Besides, if I sleep too much my tails get stiff." he stretched said tails._

* * *

'…_**Oh, for hell's sake,'**_ Kyuubi growled, slapping his forehead with one of his tails.

* * *

_"Awesome! Can we start now?"_

_"Sure, let's start by reshaping this mindscape..."_

_End Flashback_

_That was how he found out about Kyubi and how his training began._

_He had spent over a month modifying his mindscape. And only then did he realize that Kyubi took the title 'demon trainer' to a whole new insane level. He had tried to argue that even if he did do 300 laps and 200 pushups it won't count for his real body, but Kyubi waved him of, saying that he'll take care of it._

_When he finally returned to the outside, he not only did he find out that an hour in his mindscape meant a minute outside, but more importantly that Kyubi' red youki enveloped him and put pressure on him to absorb the progress._

_Another use for the youki was bringing objects from the outside into the mindscape. If it weren't for the Kyubi' warning that it only worked one way, he would have absorbed the Hokage' entire library._

_He was kinda put out before the Kyubi showed him a jutsu that made a complete copy of a book, as long as he had the paper and ink._

* * *

"Okay, this is getting boring. Anyone else just want to skip to the end of the chapter?" Shikamaru asked.

Everyone else agreed, so the lazy genius skipped ahead to the last few paragraphs of the chapter.

* * *

_As he lay in his bed after putting away his new weapons, he sighed in relief that it was finally time to remove his mask. He had had enough beatings and insults to last several lifetimes and had had more then enough of the attitudes of some of his classmates._

_While the Uchiha was an asshole that thought he was better then anyone, he wasn't the only annoying one in the classroom. Haruno Sakura, his self proclaimed number one fan was a pink haired shrieking banshee that droved a lot of people up the walls. Naruto was still cursing the day he chose to pretend she was his crush. The girl was a brute that hit him on the head at every excuse, just as her mother who was on the civilian council instructed her to._

_Another figure on his black list was Inuzuka Kiba, the dog boy crossing the line on many occasions, regarding his advances to girls. He was, like Sasuke, stuck-up, and considered that the moment he saw a woman he owned her. Fortunately, the teachers kept a close eye on him and the girls were usually in groups to gossip, so he didn't have many occasions._

* * *

"…The Hell?" Sasuke, Kiba and Sakura growled.

"…I'm guessing that this is the bashing part," Shikamaru said, shrugging.

"I was never that bad!" Sakura said in anger. "And why the hell did the author even mention my mother? Naruto's never even met her before!"

"Hana and mom would beat the shit out of me if I was anything like this guy is portraying me as!" Kiba said, pissed.

"And when did I act stuck up? The only time I belittled Naruto is when he was asking for it, like getting in my face just before our graduation!" Sasuke snarled.

* * *

_One of the few girls that didn't gossip, or consider him trash for that matter, was Hyuga Hinata. She had kept him in her eyes from the moment he stepped inside the Academy for the first time, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that she had a crush on him. Well, anyone but Kiba, who usually chose her as his target, but Naruto had long ago reached the conclusion that the dog boy valued his nose more._

* * *

"That part is bullshit too! While I wouldn't mind having Hinata-chan as a girlfriend, I'd never force her into it!" Kiba said, not believing what he was reading.

Hinata blushed in response, also a bit angry that this fic was showing her friend in this negative a light.

* * *

_Naruto was initially surprised by her affection, but after a while he began to like her as well, as it was almost impossible to resist that cute blushing face accompanied her stutter every time he was nearby. It was high time to return her affections._

_With that last thought, he went to sleep, knowing that the next day would change his life forever._

* * *

"And, barring some paragraphs that we skipped altogether, that's all for Chapter one. And so far, I fail to see how this fic got even One-Hundred reviews, let alone One-Thousand," Shikamaru said.

"There must be some reason that it has that many, though. Maybe the author realized the error of his ways, and changed the story for the better?" Tenten said.

"Considering the fact that he says there is bashing of Sakura, Sasuke and Kiba right in the summary, and the fact that the story is currently at 32 chapters, I doubt it," Neji deadpanned. "But we'll humor you. Let's check out the next chapter and see if it's any better.

"…Fine," Sakura said, still a bit angry at how she was described. "How bad can it be?"

* * *

And that's it for my latest chapter! That's right, people, the Naruto crew have stumbled onto a BASH fic! I was gonna do this sooner or later, so why not now?

Sorry it took me so long to come out with the next chapter. Hopefully, if you're still reading this, the next chapter will come out MUCH sooner. Thanks for reading, and catch you next continue!


	25. First Encounter With Bashing! Part 2

There's Fanfiction about Us!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

**_Chapter Two_**

**_Sealed Power_**_ – **True Strength Unveiled**_

_"**Wake up kit! It's time to kick some ass!"** the Kyubi gave his vessel his usual wake-up call._

_And, as usual, Naruto bolted from his bed with a kunai in hand, looking around for any threats._

_"Dammit, how many times have I told you? **Don't do that!**" growled in frustration._

* * *

"Well, the grammar still isn't that good," Shino pointed out.

"…I can get the fact that Naruto would have a kunai under his bed if the villagers really were out to get him, but the way it showed it was kind of bad. I mean, what kind of assassin would scream out loud like that before they killed someone?" Chouji asked.

"A very stupid one," Tsunade replied.

* * *

_"Heh, I lost count long ago. Anyway, get ready, you need to make it to the Academy this time." the demon waved him of._

_Sighing, Naruto began to put his usual clothes on before he stopped._

_"Oh yeah, today's the day, huh?" he grinned._

_"Yep, you won't be needing this orange eyesore anymore" Kyubi agreed._

_"Yeah, as much as I like orange, I have to admit that this jumpsuit is ugly." Naruto said a little disgusted. "Well, no more!" he said as he took a scroll he had prepared a week ago._

* * *

"Does this author really have to bag on my outfit this much? I mean, it hasn't gotten me killed yet!" Naruto pouted.

"Look on the bright side, at least he's giving you nice new clothes," Kiba replied.

"That's true…" Naruto shrugged.

* * *

_As he channeled chakra into the seal, a black wooden box appeared. From it, he took what from today onwards would be his shinobi uniform: black ninja sandals, black ANBU pants, black sleeveless shirt with golden trimming and a grey-beige cloak with a hood. In addition, he had a weapon pouch on each leg and one at his waist, each containing numerous custom tags with seals in addition to the traditional kunai and shuriken; at his waist was a ninja-to maid of chakra manipulating metal; and finally, several black wristbands on each arm and black fingerless gloves._

* * *

"…Okay, does anyone else think that such an outfit would look ridiculous on someone like Naruto…especially if he's the same size that he was when I first met him?" Tsunade deadpanned.

"Why is everything black? If anything, it just makes me stand out more in the day time. Not to mention that if I was teaming up with someone during a night mission, they wouldn't know where the heck I was!" Naruto scoffed.

* * *

_Starting with his sandals and up to his hood, on the inside his clothes were covered in seals, from antigravity seals to elemental resistance seals. Each wristband had several containment seals on it, storing kunai, shuriken, explosive tags and ninja wire. His gloves however had a seal on each side. On his palm were containment seals for his two chakra absorbing swords, the swords themselves having chakra storage seals all over the length of the blade. On the other side of the gloves were orange swirls that held chakra absorbing seals. Up to this point, he had managed to make them absorb the chakra form jutsu up to C-rank._

* * *

"Come to think of it, where the hell did Naruto get the money for this stuff? And if the villagers hate him so much, then where did he buy it? Ichiraku Ramen?" Asuma said.

* * *

_As took a look at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but smile._

_"Damn, Kyubi, I don't know where you got the idea for this outfit, but I sure as hell like it!" Naruto grinned._

* * *

"That answers that. The Kyuubi made it for him," Kakashi replied.

"That's…illogical. If the Kyuubi could do something like that while sealed away in him, why wouldn't it do something towards _getting out of the seal?_" Neji asked.

"Kyuubi and Naruto are best friends in this fic, remember?" Sasuke said in monotone.

* * *

_"Yeah, makes you look mysterious, doesn't it?" Kyubi asked pleased._

_"Yeah, I can't wait for the genjutsu to drop" the blond nodded amused._

* * *

"Wait, Genjutsu? Since when the hell has Naruto been able to do Genjutsu?" Kurenai said, eye twitching.

"Well, according to the part of the first chapter that we just skipped over…" Shikamaru said, looking it over. "…Naruto apparently learned Ten Taijutsu styles, knows tons of Ninjutsu, has mastered Kenjustu and several different sword styles, is decent enough in Genjutsu to be able to make the statement that he did just now, has learned some Fuinjustu, and has ALL of the elemental affinities. And that's not going into the countless number of jutsu that Naruto has learned, some of them B-rank. And this is all through the span of six and a half years, in his mind. Let me repeat that. He learned all of that In. His. Mind.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Even I don't believe it," Naruto muttered.

"What, is the Naruto in that fic planning on taking over the world or something?" Sakura scoffed. "What could possibly happen to Naruto at such a young age that he would need all of THAT?"

"Not to mention that it takes years of intense training to even get a QUARTER of the strength that Naruto his acquired in this fic. And it's only the second chapter!" Gai said in disbelief.

* * *

_After a short breakfast, he headed for the Academy. However, he did so under a genjutsu that made his clothes look like the usual orange jumpsuit. What he really wanted to achieve was to shock his classmates. So he took a detour to the Academy, avoiding any potential mob._

* * *

"Goody. I can't wait to see them laughing at this idiot," Kiba said.

"I still can't get over the fact that there would be a mob stupid enough to attack Naruto in broad daylight," Kakashi said.

* * *

_When he arrived, he noticed that he wasn't the only one early. There were four others there, minding their own business. That business being to talk to his insects in Shino' case, brooding for Sasuke and staring hungrily at a nervous Hinata in Kiba' case._

* * *

"Oh, here we go…" Kiba growled. "What horrible thing am I gonna do now?"

* * *

_Hinata on the other hand blushed the moment Naruto stepped through the door, and it got even worse when he offered her one of his rare true smiles. As he took a seat next to Sasuke, he winked at her, almost making her faint and enraging Kiba who began to growl._

* * *

"This is stupid too. If the dobe in this fic doesn't like me, then why the hell would he sit right next to me?" Sasuke scoffed.

"And furthermore, if he's interested in Hinata, why didn't he just next to her and try to strike up a conversation?" Tsunade replied. "Even if she fainted, it would still make more sense!

* * *

_But before the Inuzuka could do anything, some screams and shrieks were heard from the corridor, approaching at a high speed. Cringing, Naruto quickly took out some earplugs and stuffed them in his ears right before Sakura and Ino crashed into the classroom, arguing who had arrived first. As they approached Sasuke, they noticed Naruto on the seat next to him and jumped at his neck._

_"**Get off that seat baka, Sasuke-kun is mine! Only I can sit next to him!**" Sakura screeched._

_"**No, he's mine!"** Ino yelled back._

_"**Naruto-baka! Move it!**" Sakura screeched again._

* * *

"I was NOT that bad!" Sakura snarled.

"Neither was I!" Ino growled.

"As much as I hate to admit it, you weren't," Sasuke said.

* * *

_At this, Naruto turned to her giving a surprised look._

_"Hm? You said something Haruno?'" he asked with obvious displeasure as he took out one of his earplugs._

* * *

"Oh great, now the author is making him sound like Kakashi," Neji said. "What's next? Sakura getting flames in her eyes and raving about how 'hip' Naruto is?"

"Hey!" Gai and Sakura said at once.

* * *

_"**I said move!"** Sakura screamed as she got closer, a little pissed off by those earplugs. "**You're not worthy of sitting next to him!**"_

_"Shut your mouth slut. You're not worthy of sitting anywhere in this class" Naruto spat out._

* * *

"…What the fuck?" Sakura said, eyes twitching at that sentence.

"I would never say anything like that to Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, horrified.

"Hn. Even I wouldn't go that far," Sasuke agreed.

* * *

_"Wha?" Sakura took a step back in surprise. It usually took just a sentence to make him do what she wanted. But as she considered the rest of the sentence she rushed at him in fury with her fist raised._

_Just before her fist connected to his head, he ducked leaving that 'honor' to the last Uchiha. Who, mind you, had just taken a sort break from brooding and had turned towards Naruto to drive him away. Thus, Sakura' fist got him right on his right eye and making him fall off his seat._

_A moment of silence followed as Sakura realized what she just did and gasped. Naruto on the other hand almost joined Sasuke on the floor, but in his case to roll in laugher._

* * *

"Sure. Naruto gets to laugh at another's misfortune when said person was minding his own business, right after he ducked a well deserved punch that happened to hit said person," Chouji deadpanned.

"Still think that this fic 'gets better', Tenten?" Shino asked.

Tenten didn't respond. She was too busy twitching.

* * *

_After a minute that looked like an eternity, Sasuke got up and began glaring at Naruto who was now laughing even harder as he saw his black eye. Even Ino and Hinata had to turn around to hide their amused faces._

* * *

"Hinata, would you find that amusing?" Kurenai asked.

"No…I'd be kind of worried that Sasuke-san would attack Naruto for laughing like that," Hinata replied.

"And there you go," Kurenai said.

* * *

_"**Why did you dodge dobe?**" Sasuke yelled enraged just as more students poured into the classroom and began to stare in amusement at the bruised Uchiha._

_"**Yeah, you should have taken the hit instead of Sasuke-kun! That's all you're worthy off anyway!**" Sakura screeched._

_"And why the hell should I get hit instead of the Uchiha fledgling?" Naruto asked as he gave Sasuke a disgusted look._

* * *

"Because you acted like a total dick towards Sakura-chan and called her a slut?" Naruto asked, glaring at the fic.

"For no good reason, I might add," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_"**How dare you lowly scum! You're not even worthy to know a damn thing about the greatness of the Uchiha!"** Sasuke yelled as he charged at Naruto, who casually dodged and tripped him._

_"Well" Naruto began with a smirk "I know for a fact that your brother has set a new record in killing emos a few years back" he finished shocking all those that didn't know the details of the massacre._

* * *

With that one line alone, Sasuke's Sharingan Eyes activated as he glared at that line with the same kind of hate he once felt for Itachi. "…Please tell me that this dobe dies in the next sentence…rather painfully too," The former Last Uchiha snarled.

"…I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with you, Sasuke-yarou," Naruto said looking at that line in disgust. "This…bastard isn't me."

* * *

_At that point, Sasuke saw red._

* * *

"For a damn good reason, too." Neji said.

* * *

_He took out a kunai and was about to charge at Naruto when someone grabbed his shirt._

_"What do you think you're doing?" an irate Iruka asked._

_"He hit me" Sasuke lied immediately._

* * *

"Why the hell would I say that? If I told Iruka that Naruto talked shit about my family, he would have smacked the hell out of him!" Sasuke shouted. "Why would I just say, 'He hit me,' like an idiot?"

* * *

_"Is that true?" Iruka frowned at Naruto._

_"No. Haruno-san hit him." Shino said, surprising those who thought him mute._

_"How did that happen?" Iruka asked confused. He knew Shino was the honest type, but for Sakura to hit the Uchiha…_

* * *

"I am indeed the honest type. But this author doesn't seem to understand that. I would have told Iruka-sensei the real reason why Sasuke attacked Naruto if he did," Shino fumed. "And the grammar is getting even worse."

* * *

_"A-Ano, N-Naruto-kun dodged" Hinata said timidly, but still a little amused as she recalled the event._

* * *

"…No matter how much I l…_like_ Naruto-kun, I would not be amused in the slightest. I would be horrified by Naruto-kun's inappropriate comments about Sasuke-san's family, and think that something was wrong with him," Hinata said, a little annoyed.

* * *

_"Oh" realization dawned at Iruka. But before he could punish Sasuke, Mizuki interrupted and told them to take their seats._

_"It would be best if we put a little distance between you two" Iruka said, looking from Sasuke to Naruto, who nodded and went to the back of the class and took a seat next to Hinata. Right before Kiba could do it._

* * *

"Why didn't Naruto do that in the first place? Did he just sit next to Sasuke, knowing that Sakura and Ino would begin screaming at him, just to hope that what happened would happen? If so, then this Naruto is most unyouthful!" Lee said.

"I was thinking more among the lines of, 'Massive Dick Douche bag', but that could work," Kiba agreed.

* * *

_"Move it, loser!" Kiba spat._

_"Get lost mut or I'll call the pound" Naruto spat back._

* * *

"…I'd take more offense to that if he spelled 'mutt' correctly," Kiba snickered. "What the hell is a 'mut'? I see what you mean about the grammar, Shino."

"Thank you!" Shino said, exasperated.

* * *

_Before Kiba could reply, Iruka told him to sit next to Sasuke, so he had no choice but to back down for now._

* * *

"Is this Iruka blind, or just an idiot? How the hell is he a teacher in this fic with the blatant favoritism he's giving Toolruto?" Tsunade said.

"…Toolruto?" Naruto said, eyebrow raised.

"That's my new name for this fic version of you," Tsunade replied.

Everyone agreed on this name. Except for Tenten, who was still twitching.

* * *

_"Well, that was fun" the blond whispered to Hinata with a smile, making her blush even more._

_As the written test began, Iruka and Mizuki distributed the test papers. The moment he touched the paper he got from Mizuki, Naruto knew there was something wrong. That feeling was confirmed when his tenant gave his input._

_"A genjutsu"_

_It seems that Hinata had noticed as well and was about to tell him, when he brought a finger to his lips and told her "Watch this"_

_Naruto knew he could dispel the genjutsu like it was nothing, but doing so he would had canceled his own disguise. So, he went for a more… pleasant approach. The only ones who could cast that level of genjutsu that were now in the classroom were Iruka and Mizuki. Iruka was a no from the get-go so that left Mizuki. With an evil smirk, Naruto focused his attention on the silver haired chunin and release a focused killing intent._

_Mizuki actually fell of his chair in the process and caused most of the class to laugh, but that was just the bonus, as the genjutsu got dispelled. With a pleased smile, he turned towards Hinata who was watching him in awe and gave her another wink before turning to his, now Academy-level, test. Hinata did the same, though she was as red as a tomato._

* * *

"Toolruto is really living up to his name, isn't he?" Kakashi said.

"Big time," Kurenai agreed. "Why didn't he just dispel it and move on?"

* * *

_Needless to say, the blond breezed through the test._

_The next test was on throwing kunai and Shuriken. As they took turns, Sasuke hit 7/10 targets with kunai and 9/10 with shuriken. It was the class record until Naruto took his turn._

_He had watched the was most of the other students took incommode stances as they threw their weapons, so he decided to show them a thing or two. And why not start with his new clothes?_

_"Uzumaki Naruto, you're up!" Iruka called out._

_"Sure thing Iruka-sensei, just give me a second to get rid of this thing" he grinned and held up a ram sign, much to the others' confusion. "Kai!" he said and in an instant his outfit was revealed._

* * *

"This should be good…or at least, that's what I'd say if I didn't see all of the other things before this," Kiba sighed.

"Who wants to bet that all of the girls will swoon over Toolruto, and treat Sasuke like a piece of shit from now on?" Neji asked.

* * *

_Gasps were heard all over the training field as they all gazed at him. He had his hood over his head and his cloak closed, so they couldn't see much, but the lack of orange was very shocking indeed._

_As he approached the target dummies, he pulled down his hood and revealed his face, earning quite a few blushes from the female gender._

_"Quit showing of, Naruto-baka. You can't be as cool as Sasuke-kun no matter what you do!" Sakura screeched._

* * *

"Sakura's the only person that has the right reaction. But it would have been better if she was laughing and pointing instead," Ino said. "Seriously, who would see what Toolruto is wearing as appealing?"

"And why are they blushing at his face? Didn't he just change his clothes only? Or did the Kyuubi do something to make him look more bishounen as well?" Lee asked.

* * *

_"Yeah, just miss already, dead-last!" Kiba added._

_"Hn, dobe, make sure you hold the right end of the kunai - actually, forget what I said, get killed." the Uchiha graced them with a word._

* * *

"I could only fucking hope," Sasuke growled.

"This whole bashing thing is getting pretty old pretty fast. And it goes on for god knows how many chapters?" Sakura said, looking sick.

"Why are we reading this again?" Shikamaru asked.

"…I don't even know anymore," Shino shrugged.

* * *

_To their ire, Naruto just smirked and took out ten kunai, five in each hand. Then, as casually as possible, he threw all of them at one of the dummies._

_Surprising most of those present, he his all the vital spot, but instead of being simply imbedded into the dummy, they kept advancing until the came out the other side and hit the wall behind it, finally stopping deep into it._

_The world stood still for a few moments before Kiba voice the thought on everyone' mid._

_"WHAT-THE_HELL?"_

_As the commotion started to increase, Iruka calmed them down and told Naruto to throw his shuriken at the other dummy._

_When Naruto took out ten shuriken, the chunin took a good look at them and gasped when he saw the blond channeling chakra into them. "And not just any chakra…" he thought amazed._

_When Naruto threw the weapons, they all seemed to miss and hit the wall behind the dummy._

_"Heh, nice try Uzumaki, next time remember to his the target, not the scenery." Mizuki mocked him_

_"No, all of them were perfect hits" Iruka said as he approached the dummy, to everyone' surprise._

_He merely gave a flick to the dummies' head and it collapsed, sliced in perfectly equal pieces._

_"He infused his shuriken with wind chakra, making their edge much sharper and the range as big as his reserves allow him. He got another perfect score." Iruka stated as he turned to Naruto who just nodded with a smile._

* * *

"…This is just about Toolruto showing off, isn't it?" Tsunade sighed.

"I know. Why the hell would he show off all these powerful attacks for no good reason otherwise?" Kurenai replied.

"And why isn't someone calling out the possibility that this Toolruto is a fake? I mean, that's what I'd do if the 'Dead-Last' was suddenly pulling all of this shit," Kiba said.

* * *

_Moving on to the ninjutsu section of the exam, the students finally began to show their true skills as many of them belonged to clans._

* * *

"Wait, when did we do this during the exam?" Chouji asked. "I don't remember it…"

"That's because we didn't. It's just something added on to show off Toolruto even more," Shikamaru replied.

* * *

_The most praised was Sasuke, of course, who made his fan-club cry with joy with a perfectly executed five feet tall **Katon: Goukakyuu**, enveloping the dummy in the fireball._

_Naruto was next to perform, and Sasuke took the opportunity to make fun of him._

_"Hey dobe, are you gonna show us you famous dieing clones" he smirked._

_"Sasgay, watch and learn" Naruto smirked back as he walked towards his dummy. "**Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!**" he called out as he blew a twenty feet tall white hot fireball at his target, turning it to ashes and scorching the ground. He then turned towards the stunned crowd and gave a final sentence._

_"As you can see, bigger IS better" he said with a foxy grin, making most of to females blush and the Uchiha the seethe in anger._

* * *

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tenten laughed suddenly, causing everyone else to nearly jump in surprise.

"Tenten? What's wrong, my youthful teammate?" Lee asked, a bit scared at the huge toothy grin on his friend's face.

"This fic is bloody hilarious!" Tenten said…without moving her mouth. "I mean really! Naruto learns all of those styles and Jutsu, despite the fact that there's really no need for it!" Then, he gets a badass black outfit, just because it makes him look cooler!

"…Tenten?" Neji tried.

"But it gets BETTER! Next, he acts like a complete ASSHOLE, calling Sakura a slut and pissing all over Sasuke's family getting killed! He even calls them 'Emos'!"

"Tenten, calm down!"

"And now…now…he reveals really powerful moves just for the sake of gloating! And he calls Sasuke GAY! And he makes a lame ass joke that is laden with innuendo just to make the reader think that Sasuke has a tiny as hell PENIS!"

"TENTEN!"

"What's next? Naruto stripping down to his underwear, snapping his fingers, and having every single girl, save Sakura, sucking his MASSIVE DICK? I CAN SEE HOW THIS FIC GOT OVER ONE-THOUSAND REVIEWS! IT'S BLOODY AMAZING! NO ONE CAN HOPE TO TOP THIS! NO ONE…"

Tenten trailed off as Lee delivered a strong slap to her face.

"…Thank you. I needed that."

"No problem, Tenten. Perhaps we should just skip move on to the next chapter?"

"…Good idea," Shikamaru said, still a bit stunned at Tenten's outburst.

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. I'll most likely get flamed by people who like the story that I'm having the Naruto crew look at, but that's fine. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and Catch you Next Continue!


	26. First Encounter With Bashing! Part 3

There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

"Okay, are you sure that you've calmed down, Tenten?" Neji asked.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine," Tenten replied, blushing a bit. "Sorry for going all crazy like that."

"I'm just surprised that you did it before me," Sasuke shrugged.

"Anyway...should we continue reading this? I mean, it looks like it might get even worse with each chapter that comes after the last one we read," Shikamaru said.

"Well, let's just skip ahead to some of the later chapters. The bashing has got to stop by then," Naruto suggested. "I mean, how many chapters can a guy write about people that he hates?"

"Good point. Best case, he just writes them out of the plot so that Toolruto can hog all of the spotlight. Worse case, he offs them in a bloody way to do just that," Ino replied, shrugging at the looks of horror on Sasuke, Sakura and Kiba's faces. "Maybe without all of the stupid bashing, the fic will become halfway decent."

"So...which chapter do you want to look at?" Shikamaru asked.

"Chapter Nine," Tsunade said. "And before you ask why...I have no clue either. It's just the first number that popped into my head."

"...Chapter Nine it is, then," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_**Chapter Nine**_

_**Bloodlines of the Beginning and the End**_

_It had been a week since the challenge and the demonstration was to place that evening in one of the ANBU training grounds._

_Most people would have thought that Naruto was training like a madman in order to be ready. That he would wear himself out completely doing so._

_And yet, here he was. Naruto was standing completely still on one of the larger terraces and it didn't look like he was going to move anytime soon._

_No, he wasn't meditating because nobody sane would do so in his current position: he was frozen stiff in one of Evangeline' icebergs._

* * *

"Who is this, 'Evangeline' that the story speaks off?" Neji asked.

"I have no clue. But if she did indeed freeze Toolruto into an Iceberg, then she is my new favorite character," Sasuke said.

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Alright Naruto, since you're going to rely on the Magic Cancel for part of the examination we're going to increase your skill with it" Asuna explained._

* * *

"…This is one of the problems with skipping ahead. You have no idea what the hell's going on," Kakashi said.

"Magic Cancel? I wonder what chapter they started adding Magic in," Kurenai said.

* * *

_"So, how exactly do we do that?" Naruto inquired._

_"Well, do you remember how you learnt it?" Kyubi asked._

_"Yeah, I had to cancel out some weak attacks… Oh, I see where this is going." Naruto said thoughtfully._

_"Yep, at this point we know you can only cancel weak spells. In order to be able to cancel the big ones, you must adjust you body with doing so. We're going to steadily increase the power of the spells we throw at you until you reach your current limit, and then we'll try to surpass it." Eva grinned._

_"Hm, it makes sense. There's just one problem, chakra is more potent then mana or ki, it's like a stable form of Kanka. In order to be able to cancel out Hiashi' Juken strikes, I'll have to be able to cancel the equivalent of B-rank spells." Naruto mussed._

* * *

"Why would Fic Naruto-kun need to cancel out my father's Juken Strikes?" Hinata asked, being too polite to use the 'Toolruto' name.

"My god, Sakura must have been right! Toolruto is going to take over the world, and he's gonna start by taking out all of Konoha's top players so that he can use it as his main base!" Gai shouted.

* * *

_"Exactly. And it so happens that I know a very good way to do so while training your body as well." Eva grinned evilly. "I have some experience in doing so."_

* * *

"…Wouldn't Fic Naruto-kun already be training his body during this?" Lee asked, also too polite to use 'Toolruto'.

"He trained and gained all of his other techniques in his mind in the first chapter, remember?" Shikamaru pointed out. "This is probably more of the same thing."

"Oh…great," Lee, always the fan of Hard Work, sulked.

* * *

_"Meaning?" Naruto asked, not liking the look in Eva's eyes._

_"She and Negi will pound you with spells until you either become fast enough or are able to cancel said spells." Asuna said with a frown._

* * *

"Or you die. Whichever comes first," Neji shrugged.

"COME ON, NUMBER 3!" Kiba whooped.

* * *

_"Oh, what's wrong Kagurazaka? Something wrong?" Eva smirked._

_"Just the fact that you did the same to me; without even telling me about it, I might add." Asuna sulked._

_"Well, it was a lot more fun that way. You know; the thrill of the hunt." Eva said with an evil smile._

_"And another thing" Asuna began. "Why exactly are both of you training him at the same time? With me, I had to fight you with Negi on MY side, not yours? Don't you think this is a bit too much?" she asked concerned._

* * *

"Shut UP, woman! The more chances he has to die, the better!" Kiba shouted. "You know the old phrase, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!'"

"And if he dies…meh, no great loss there," Tsunade said, shrugging.

* * *

_"Don't worry, Asuna-chan, I'll be fine. In here, I can recover from just about any injury and instantly recover my energy. What's the worst that could happen?" Naruto tried to reassure her._

* * *

"They're in his _mind_. What possible danger could he face in his mind? He could just visualize being safe, and he'll be safe!" Kurenai said.

"I gave up trying to put logic in this story after the last chapter," Chouji said.

* * *

_Flashback end_

_"How many times did he get frozen today?" Eva asked._

_"This is the third." Negi said as he landed._

_"Hm, that's quite impressive. From what I remember of the first day of training, I lost count at thirty times." Eva smirked._

_"Actually, you froze him forty times that day." Asuna deadpanned._

* * *

"I _Love _Evangeline," Sasuke said. "Now, if only she could do it to him in real life…"

"Amen to that!" Sakura and Kiba agreed.

* * *

_"Okay, I admit I overdid it." Eva sweatdropped. "I just wanted to get him ready faster."_

_"Ready for what, the morgue?" Kyubi asked in disbelief._

* * *

"_They're in his mind!_ How the hell would he die from something that happened in his mind, aside from being affected by Tsukiyomi?" Kurenai said, gritting her teeth.

"Calm down, Kurenai. We don't need another Tenten Episode," Asuma said.

"Hey!" Tenten shouted, glaring at the burly Jounin.

* * *

_"Not to mention that __**"Dios Tukos" – "Carceris Glacis"**__ combo that you keep using. You know that if even a bit__ of the lightning spell gets through, the ice spell will freeze him since he can't even move. Like now!" Asuna said annoyed just as the ice cracked and Naruto cam out gasping for breath._

_"I thought I was a goner." he said before adding "Again"_

* * *

Kurenai just face palmed, not even saying anything this time.

* * *

_"Hm, not bad. You reached the same level of mastery Asuna was at when we interrupted our training." Eva smiled. "Good job Naruto-kun"_

_"Yeah, well done Naruto-kun" Asuna said as she approached him._

_"Well, I believe we're done with the Magic Cancel training for now. And you have no trouble whatsoever with the Matter Creation so you can have a break until the evening. Go get something to eat and recover your energy, the objects you created this morning took a lot of power. From what I can see, you have your reserves at about 50%" Negi said._

* * *

"Wait, 'Matter Creation'? Does this mean that Toolruto can create anything that he wants?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, at least there's a limit to something like that, since he stated that in the last sentence," Tenten reasoned.

"And how long will it take for that 'limit' to vanish and never be mentioned again?" Sasuke scoffed.

* * *

_"Yes, sensei" Naruto smirked and rolled his eyes, making the three girls burst into laugher._

_"Get out of here before I give you detention" Negi grinned, making the girls laugh even harder._

* * *

"Why would that be considered funny?" Neji asked.

"Was it because Toolruto rolled his eyes?" Ino snarked.

"Isn't it obvious? It's because Toolruto is funny. ALWAYS," Tsunade said, nodding her head with her arms crossed and eyes closed.

* * *

_"Alright, see ya!" Naruto said and faded from his mindscape._

_As he opened his eyes, Naruto saw his two Kage Bunshin playing poker._

_"Didn't I tell you to stand guard?" Naruto raised an eyebrow annoyed._

_"You did, but with the amount of bloodlust you emitted before doing so there are no animals with enough guts to approach. As for humans, they rarely come here anyway." one of the clones shrugged before turning to the other clone and showing his hand. "Full House"_

_"Damn" the other clone managed to say before they were both dispelled by an annoyed Naruto._

_As he left the Forest of Death and headed towards the village, he kept muttering about irresponsible clones "not taking their job seriously". In fact, if he wasn't used to continuously sensing the surrounding chakra signatures he would have missed the two that began following him the moment he left the Forest of Death._

_As far as his vampire senses told him, the two ninja didn't have any bloodlines, so they weren't sent by the Hyuga. Also, it meant that they weren't sent by any other clan to keep him safe._

* * *

"Wait, Vampire senses?" Kakashi said. "What the hell is a vampire, and why would its senses help Toolruto sense bloodlines?"

"We'll just have to skim over the chapters before this one later, so we aren't totally lost," Ino shrugged.

* * *

_They could have been sent by the Hokage, but it wasn't Sarutobi' style to have him followed around when he knew he could defend himself._

_That only left one possibility: the two elders and their master Danzo. The man was desperate enough to send his men on an assassination in front of the Hokage, why wouldn't he do the same when the old man wasn't around? In other words, he had two ROOT ANBU on his trail._

* * *

"Danzo wouldn't be stupid enough to do something as blatant as that in broad daylight," Sasuke said. "Then again, since the Sarutobi in the fic is an idiot, I guess it doesn't matter. And since Danzo was stupid enough to let me kill him a few times just to show off his Izanagi jutsu…"

* * *

_Still, since they hadn't attack yet they were just keeping an eye on him, probably to see his bloodlines in action and find ways to counter them._

* * *

"…Bloodlines? As in, plural?" Tsunade asked.

"Something tells me that we might _not_ want to read the previous chapters," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_"Ain't gonna happen" Naruto grinned mentally. Whenever he sensed someone approaching him he had immediately stopped training and pretended to either take a break or finish up for the day. In other words, going back to his apartment and then entering his mindscape after taking the necessary precautions._

* * *

"Those precautions being making sure that nobody offed his body in real life while he was screwing around in his mind," Asuma said.

"Sadly." Sasuke added.

* * *

_As he was about to enter a restaurant he heard someone calling his name and smiled as he recognized the chakra signature._

_"Hello Hinata-chan, how are you?" Naruto asked the approaching Hyuga._

_"I'm fine, Na-Naruto-kun. We j-just got back from our first C-rank mission." Hinata smiled._

_"Hello Shino-san, Oshizu-san, Kurenai-san." Naruto greeted the rest of the team as they approached. "How was your mission? Actually, what was your mission?"_

* * *

"Who the fuck is this 'Oshizu' person? And why would Toolruto give a flying fuck about another team's mission?" Kiba said.

"Because he wants to get into Hinata's pants, remember?" Ino said, causing said girl to blush intensely.

* * *

_"Oh, we just had to guard a merchant on his way back home, near the border with Tea Country." Oshizu said._

_"Care to talk about it over lunch?" Naruto asked, tilting his head towards the restaurant._

_"Sure, we wanted a little celebration anyway." Kurenai said and led the genin inside._

_After the waiter took their orders they began to dwell in the details of the mission._

_"We left a week ago with the merchant and headed south using the main road." Oshizu began._

_"About half way there I saw a b-bandit ca-camp using my Byakugan. It was near the road and it would have seen us if we got any closer using it." Hinata said._

_"So we were forced to do a little detour for half-a-day before we could use the main road again. After that, the trip way without any complications." Kurenai continued._

* * *

"That sounds boring!" Naruto complained.

"Sometimes, boring could be a nice change of pace, Naruto," Kakashi said to him.

* * *

_"After we arrived, we contacted the local militia regarding the bandits." Shino said._

_"During the two days we stayed there, the bandits - who had been approaching the village as well - were arrested and after that we headed back to Konoha. We arrived about an hour ago and were just coming from the Hokage tower after turning in our mission." Oshizu finished. "We actually got a bonus for reporting those bandits" she grinned._

_Looking at her, Naruto smiled at her enthusiasm. Hiroko Oshizu had always been quite the lively one. She had long purple-black hair that reached her knees; usually she kept it lose but recently she had began to keep it in a pony tail during missions. She had a generous tan that surprised most people that didn't know her, mainly because people with her appearance were normally in Wind Country or Earth Country._

_Her eyes were an intriguing aspect of her appearance. While normally they were light purple, when in battle or doing something serious they became a metallic grey, slightly glowing. From what Naruto suspected, she unconsciously focused chakra into her eyes thus increasing the sharpness of her gaze. It was one of the fundamental skills in using a Doujutsu, but what she had was an affinity for the skill and not a bloodline in itself._

_Despite her attractive figure, she was quite the tomboy, often getting into arguments when she was pissed off. A big plus to her personality was that she wasn't a fan girl of Sasuke'._

_She wore black ANBU pants and a dark purple shirt, over which she had a very unusual armor. It was made of identical pieces of looked like large black scales. The material was an alloy used in most armors, but apparently she had made a custom order and she was very pleased of it._

_Her weapon of choice was a spear-like Dragon Crescent Blade. It looked like the head of a dragon holding a crescent blade in its mouth. The blade was made from a greenish crystal that was often used in Grass Country in the making of Chakra Fangs. What most people didn't know was that the crystal conducted the ki part of chakra in the Fang. And it so happened that whenever Oshizu' eyes glowed her blade did as well if she held it. At the back of the dragon' head was a long cylindrical handle that could be separated in three equal detachable parts. Both the dragon head and the handle were made from a grey-silver metal that conducted chakra towards the blade. The weapon could be used as either a spear or a sword by changing the length of the handle. The weapon was called Seiryuto._

_As far as Naruto knew, Oshizu was quite skilled with her weapon as well as taijutsu, but her genjutsu and ninjutsu were lacking, which he found surprising considering her chakra control and not-so-modest chakra levels. He guessed she simply liked weapons more._

* * *

"…Why the hell is this person a Genin? By her description, she sounds like she should be in the ANBU instead…even more so since she somehow got a hold of 'Black ANBU Pants', Tsunade said.

"I believe it's one of those 'Mary Sue' type characters that I've heard about. I've never heard of such a person in our graduating class…or at all, really," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_"I'm glad to hear that everything went so well. I heard that some C-rank missions get really annoying since some employers don't give all the necessary information." Naruto shrugged._

_"Yes, I'm afraid that it happens at least once-a-month." Kurenai sighed before giving the blond a curious look "So, how were things in the village while we were gone?" she asked as their food and drinks arrived._

_"Oh, things are going great, actually" Naruto said with a foxy grin, making Hinata blush. "I'm sure that you're worried about Anko. Don't be, she's feeling better then she has in over thirteen years. There were no negative after-effects from her procedure and all her formerly restrained chakra is accessible. Let's just say that her chakra levels would make even the Snake Sannin think twice." Naruto grinned._

* * *

"So what? Just because she has all of that chakra doesn't mean that her actual skills have gone up any," Kakashi said. "And just why did Toolruto go to all of that trouble to remove her Curse Seal?"

"So that he can get in her pants, duh!" Ino deadpanned, rolling her eyes.

* * *

_"Speaking of snakes..." Kurenai began._

_"Last time I saw it was with an unusually happy Ibiki and a laughing Anko." Naruto smirked._

_"Anything else we should know about?" Kurenai asked with a grin._

_"A couple of things, actually. Remember what happened with the clouds before the final phase of the procedure?" Naruto asked._

_"Yes, I wanted to ask you about that." Kurenai said as she looked at him curiously "How...?"_

_"Sorry Kurenai-san, that's a secret." Naruto cut her off._

* * *

"Then why the hell would you even bring it up?" Sakura said.

"Logic. This fic has none," Chouji said.

* * *

_"What kind of secret?" Oshizu asked curiously as both genin girls looked at him, even Shino looked a little intrigued._

_"One that, with a little luck, will become a clan secret by the end of the day" Naruto answered with a grin that split his face._

_"__**WHAT?"**__ the four yelled, attractin__g a few glares from the other customers._

_"How? When?" Kurenai asked astonished._

_"The decision will be made this evening, actually" Naruto said "As for how…" he trailed off, his grin widening._

_"Well?" Oshizu asked._

_"I'm going to do a demonstration of my bloodlines. And a certain Hyuga Head has offered to assist me" Naruto said evilly._

_"Lord Hiashi?" Kurenai asked surprised. "Why, couldn't he have asked someone else from his clan?"_

_"I guess he thinks he'll he able to make me fail." Naruto chuckled._

* * *

"Okay, I know I'm beating a dead horse here. And I know that my own grammar is not the best at times. But can this author learn how to at least use commas right?" Shino sighed.

* * *

_"Can he?" Hinata asked worried. She knew that he father was very strong, one of the strongest of the Clan Heads, and that he usually achieved what he wanted, no matter the cost._

_"Not a chance. The more he'll try, the more he'll make a fool out of himself." Naruto chuckled._

* * *

"Brace yourselves for Hiashi bashing, everyone," Kakashi said.

"And it's bashing that wasn't mentioned on the fic's summary. That makes it even worse," Tenten grumbled.

* * *

_"This I gotta see" Kurenai grinned like Christmas had come early. She had hated the man for several years; soon after Hinata' mother had died, Kurenai was assigned as Hinata' sensei since the girl was no longer deemed worthy by Hiashi of being the clan heir. Kurenai absolutely hated the way Hiashi belittled even his own daughter._

* * *

"Hiashi-san wasn't that bad," Kurenai scoffed. "He could have done things differently, sure, but he does treat Hinata better these days!"

* * *

_"Sure Kurenai-san, come by ANBU Training Ground 14 this afternoon at six, Anko will be there as well." Naruto said._

_"May we attend as well?" Shino asked._

_"Sorry Shino, the Hokage told me that only jounin and above may attend." Naruto said apologetically. "Maybe I'll give you a demonstration some other time."_

_"That would be acceptable" Shino nodded._

_"I would like to add that I made a little deal with Hiashi. If he succeeds I'll give up my clan status. If I win however..." Naruto trailed off with an evil smirk._

_"Yes?" Kurenai leaned forward._

_"Anything within his power to give." Naruto finished with a glance at Hinata._

* * *

"Wonderful. Toolruto's gonna try to win Hinata as a prize, instead of trying to prove to her father that he would be a good future husband for her," Tsunade said.

"…And how is that any different from how this fic has me acting towards Hinata?" Kiba growled.

* * *

_"Holy...! Does the idiot even know what he was saying?" Oshizu erupted._

_"No, he was probably too busy plotting my demise." Naruto shrugged._

* * *

"Why must everyone other than Toolruto be such MORONS in this fic?" Shikamaru groaned.

"So Toolruto can seem much smarter compared to them, duh!" Ino said.

* * *

_"Well, I honestly can't wait to see the outcome." Kurenai grinned._

_"Yeah me too. Anyway, I should be going. See ya later." Naruto said as he stood up and left._

_He still had a few hours left, but he needed to check on the preparations. So, he headed for the Hokage tower._

_As he got close enough, he __held his right hand in a half ram handsign and used the __**Konoha Leaf Shunshin**__. A few moments later he appeared in the Hokage' office in a swirl of leaves._

_"Hey old man, how are the preparations coming?" the whiskered blond asked._

_"Oh, hello Naruto-kun. Everything is ready. Though some of the things you asked for was a little hard to get at the area we'll be using." Sarutobi said._

_"Yeah, a blocks of stone that large and dense is kinda hard to find." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly._

_"More like impossible. I had to use one of my most powerful earth jutsu to make it." Sarutobi deadpanned._

_"Yeah... I guess I should go prepare." Naruto said and disappeared with another Leaf Shunshin._

* * *

"Why the hell is Sarutobi bending over backwards for this turd?" Kiba snorted.

"So that he can have a One-Man Bloodline Revolution in Toolruto. That, or he's fucking bored and wants to have something to do," Tsunade shrugged.

* * *

_A few hours later Naruto was walking towards the place he will earn his clan status at. In the shadows behind him were no less then eight ROOT ANBU, all of them getting ready to strike._

_On a roof nearby, an approaching Anko and Kurenai were about to warn the blond genin when they heard a familiar voice from behind them._

_"Don't worry; it's all part of the plan."_

* * *

"Yes. Plan: Make myself look like an even bigger ass! Which includes much more force than necessary!" Naruto said.

"I don't think that Toolruto could look like more of an ass if he tried," Asuma said.

"Don't say something like that so fast. Take a look at the next few sentences," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_As the two kunoichi turned around they saw none other then Naruto._

_"Hey, you're missing the good part" he motioned towards the Naruto that was about to impaled by eight swords._

_Just before the blades touc__hed him he called out with a grin: __**"Bunshin Daibakuha".**__ And just like that he exploded, the blast breaking the swords and impaling them in what was left of the eight bodies._

_"Wow, talk about brutal." Anko said casually._

_"Yeah, I had two of them tracking me the whole week. I was just waiting for the opportunity to take out more at once." Naruto shrugged._

* * *

"…This author knows how much noise such a jutsu makes, right? Where the hell are the rest of the ANBU?" Kakashi asked.

"And I love how causally he says that he was waiting for more victims to be caught in his jutsu. Toolruto is clearly a shining example for future Ninja worldwide," Tenten said in a dull tone.

* * *

_"Danzo isn't going to be happy about this." Kurenai said with a glance at the carnage, while Naruto and Anko looked at her in shock._

_"Danzo can be happy?" Naruto asked, honestly surprised._

_"Good one, Kurenai-chan, for a moment I thought you were serious." Anko burst laughing, followed by Naruto and eventually Kurenai. Now that she thought about it, it did seem impossible for the old war hawk to be happy about anything._

* * *

"Anyone else creeped out that Toolruto just killed eight human beings, human beings from _his own village _mind you, and just laughed about it?" Gai said, shaking his head.

"If he's as skilled as the author would have us believe, then couldn't he have made Toolruto take them down in a **non-lethal **way? This just makes him seem like a cold-blooded monster, even if Danzo's ANBU members were about to kill him," Sakura sighed.

* * *

_The three soon arrived at their destination and were greeted by Sarutobi, Kakashi, Ibiki and the clan heads. Well, except Hiashi who gave his best glare._

_"Ah, you're here Naruto. Well, let's get started. I can't wait to see what your bloodlines do." Sarutobi grinned._

_"Hold on, you mean even you haven't seen them before, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked surprised._

_"No, Naruto-kun has been very secretive concerning his abilities. Like a future clan head should, after all." Sarutobi replied._

* * *

"Right. That's why fic me decided to pull all of that shit at the Graduation in front of everyone for all to see," Naruto said.

* * *

_"Well, let's start with the amusing part first, shall we?" Naruto said as he took off his cloak, gloves, bracers and shirt and handed them to a blushing Anko._

* * *

"Why is Anko blushing at a midget 13 year old being shirtless? What the hell is she even doing there in the first place? WHAT THE HELL AM _I_ EVEN DOING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?-!" Kurenai shouted.

"So that Toolruto can get his ladies hot for him when he shows off for them, duh!" Ino said.

* * *

_"Naruto-kun, what are you doing?" Kakashi asked hesitantly._

_"Those clothes have numerous seals on them; I don't want to argue with any of you afterwards regarding the source of my abilities. I suggest you use your Sharingan to verify if I have any left on my skin. You should do the same, Hyuga-san." Naruto said._

_As the two doujutsu users did so, they found three gravity seals on his lower back that were swiftly removed, in addition to the one on his belly that they didn't even bother mentioning._

* * *

"Yet again, why does Toolruto even have all of these things? If he's this goddamn strong, then where will there be any conflict later in the story?" Sakura said.

"Conflict is for pussies! Overwhelming power that grants you everything you could ever want is the way to go!" Tenten declared, eye twitching rapidly.

* * *

_"Well, now what?" Kakashi asked._

_"Well, we can begin the demonstration. Hyuga-san, feel free to use on me any gentle fist attack you desire. Just don't poke my eyes." Naruto said._

_"Are you out of your mind, Uzumaki?" Ibiki asked._

_"Oh, I'm sure he has his reasons." Sarutobi said with contained amusement. "Go ahead Hiashi, try and close his tenketsu."_

_"Very well." Hiashi grinned evilly and dashed at the blond. "I would be stupid to turn down such a chance to slay the demon!"_

_"__**Hakke Rokujūyon Shō"**__ the Hyuga head called out and proceeded to close 64 of Naruto' tenketsu. When he was done, he took a step back and, with a spin of his body, he thrust his left h__and towards the blond releasing a wave of chakra aimed at his heart as he said __**"Hakke Kūshō"**_

_With that, he turned around and began walking back towards the group with a smug look on his face._

* * *

"Ding Dong, the Dick is dead!" Ino cheered.

"Break out the Tomatoes, it's time to celebrate!" Sasuke cheered as well, doing a little happy dance with Ino.

* * *

_"I don't remember telling you to stop, Hyuga-san." Naruto' voice was heard and Hiashi stopped in mid step. He turned around and saw Naruto just standing there like nothing had happened. And, as he looked at him with his Byakugan, he saw that all of his tenketsu were still open._

* * *

"BULLSHIT!" Ino and Sasuke shouted.

* * *

_"I must have missed somehow. No mater, I'__ll do it sight this time" he thought and charged at Naruto __**"Hakke Hyaku Nijūhachi Shō"**__ Hiashi called out and attacked 128 tenketsu. He then thrust his right hand at his target and released a powerful wave of chakra __**"Hakke Hasangeki"**__ he called out._

_This time, he waited for the dust created by the wave of chakra to dissipate. When it did, his jaw dropped. There stood Naruto Uzumaki, completely unharmed and YAWNING!_

* * *

"Oh, COME ON!" Ino and Sasuke screamed, sinking to the floor in despair.

"Did you really expect Toolruto to be taken down by such a weak attack?" Kiba scoffed.

"It will take nothing short of a _nuke_ to kill that bastard," Sakura said.

* * *

_Without another word, Hiashi charged at Naruto with rage._

_"__**Hakke Sanbyakurokujūichi Shiki"**__ he c__alled out, aiming for each and every one of Naruto' 361 tenketsu. When he was done, he took a few steps back. "Surely, that one got him!" the Hyuga thought. But, when he looked at Naruto carefully with his Byakugan…_

_"__**HOW? How are you keeping your tenketsu **__**open? Are you using the demon?"**__ Hiashi roared._

_"Keep your voice down if you want to live to see tomorrow" Sarutobi said coldly as he appeared with a kunai aimed at the Hyuga' neck. "If you break that law, you know the consequences."_

* * *

"Yes. Because mobs of random villagers screaming 'Kill the Demon! Kill the Demon!' weren't enough to enforce the rule, but fucking Hiashi screaming it was," Kakashi said, face palming.

"Either this Sarutobi…no. I refuse to call this sorry excuse for a man Sarutobi. From now on, his name is Naruslave!" Tsunade declared.

Everyone agreed, Asuma in particular.

* * *

_"If I did use it, you would be the first one to notice, with those eyes of yours. Kakashi can confirm it, since he has uncovered his Sharingan since we started. And without doubt, everyone in the vicinity would have sensed the youki." Naruto said in a bored voice as he motioned towards Kakashi' red eye with three tomoe._

_"Then how did you do it?" Hiashi demanded._

_"Go on, Naruto-kun. Explain." Sarutobi requested with a wide grin._

_"Just one demonstration. Hyuga-san, make a Kage Bunshin and had it observe along with the group. Then u__se the __**Kaiten**__."_

_"Go on Hiashi, do it." Sarutobi said as he went back to the others and was soon followed by Hiashi' clone._

_The Hyuga head gave the blond another death glare before he began to spin while expelling chakra._

_"__**Hakkeshō Kaiten"**__ he called out and__ was surrounded by a large blue dome of chakra._

_Naruto simply approached the dome and placed his right palm on it. The dome immediately began to disappear, starting from where Naruto touched it. Hiashi then stopped and dispelled his clone, receiving its memories._

_"I see. You have the ability to destroy chakra." Hiashi mumbled annoyed._

_"Yes, it's a very rare and powerful ability. It's called __**Magick Tekkai**__. There hasn't been a user for several thousand years, maybe more…" Naruto explained._

* * *

"Yay, more bullshit powers!" Tenten cheered. "The author does know that Toolruto can basically kill any ninja just by touching him now, right?"

"Most likely. And that is what scares me the most," Gai shivered.

* * *

_"And how exactly do you know that?" Shikaku inquired with a raised eyebrow. "There are few history recordings dating a few hundred years, but for thousands of years…" he trailed of before his eyes widened in realization. "Unless…"_

_"Exactly, I know from Kyubi." Naruto confirm__ed. __"Sorry Asuna-chan. I can't tell them yet"__ Naruto apologized mentally._

_"No problem, I'm sure you can make it up to me."__ Asuna answered suggestively__._

* * *

"Toolruto, Master of spilled secrets and magnet for sluts, Ladies and Gentlemen!" Naruto said, taking a bow.

"I'm surprised you even know what 'slut' means, dobe," Sasuke said.

"Since reading this fic, I think that my brain capacity has gone up quite a bit. Mostly because I want to separate myself from this _imposter_ as much as I can," Naruto replied with a shrug.

* * *

_"You can communicate with the Demon?" Ibiki asked a little tense. "How?"_

_"I believe I can explain that." Inoichi stepped forward. "You see, Naruto has a lot of control over his mind, to the point he can enter it like he would with a building, an redecorate it as well. And I have to say that the amount of control he has over it is beyond everything I've ever seen, even from my fellow clansmen who pride themselves with the power of their mind. In his mindscape, the Kyubi must represented in some sort of imprisonment, and Naruto-kun can communicate with it without approaching too much."_

* * *

Kurenai banged her head into the wall next to her. Repeatedly.

* * *

_"'Must be'? You mean you haven't seen it?" Shikaku asked._

_"No, I had the cage hidden under a mountain since I also allowed Ino to have a look and didn't want to show her too much." Naruto said._

_"Yes, Naruto-kun discretely showed me the mountain." Inoichi confirmed._

_"But if he's communicating with the Demon he must be losing control!" Hiashi hurried to say, receiving blank looks from everyone._

_"A Jinchūriki that can communicate with his or her tenant is the most stable one of them all. Without that, the Biju may drive the host mad and take control." Shikaku said._

_"I see…" Hiashi said._

* * *

"Damn, Hiashi changed his mind quick!" Tsunade said.

"He must not want to get in even deeper trouble. Ya know, because he just tried to _kill_ Toolruto in front of everyone," Kiba said.

"So? Toolruto left a huge bloody and gory mess behind when he killed all those ANBU from Danzo! If he can kill like that in the open, then why can't anyone else?" Ino sulked.

* * *

_"Anyway, I believe that you have proven your bloodline and thus deserve…" Inoichi began._

_"No, I have proven ONE of my bloodlines" Naruto corrected and was followed by silence._

_"A human being can't have more then one bloodline! You're a …" Hiashi began but stopped when he felt the Hokage' kunai at his throat._

_"Watch your wording." Sarutobi warned._

* * *

"So, trying to call Toolruto a Demon is bad, but trying to _kill him_ in plain sight is a-okay? Man, you've got some fucked up priorities, Naruslave," Tsunade said.

* * *

_"But there have been countless breeding experiments in mixing the Byakugan with the Sharingan and…" Hiashi began._

_"And they failed because it's nearly impossible to naturally mix bloodlines, especially of the same kind, doujutsu in your case." Naruto said._

_"By naturally you mean… "Shikaku began._

_"More of that a little later. For now, allow me to demonstrate my second bloodline." Naruto said and everyone took their distance. "Kakashi, watch carefully because you'll be doing part of the explaining." Naruto said as he raised his right hand above his head and closed his eyes in concentration. When he suddenly opened them, there was a small flash of golden light and huge lethal looking silver spear appeared in his right hand._

_"Where did that come from? Did he take it out of a containment seal?" Choza asked._

_"No, he has only one seal left and if holds the Kyubi." Aburame Shibi said._

_"That's correct; it didn't come from a seal. Care to explain for us, Kakashi-san?" Naruto said._

_"You made it from chakra. That flash of light was that chakra taking the form of the spear." Kakashi said shocked. "It happened so fast that I almost missed it even with my Sharingan."_

_"But that spear is clearly solid, with almost no traces of chakra in it!" Hiashi said with his Byakugan activated._

_"Yes. I converted energy, in this care chakra, into matter." Naruto explained. "I first picture it in m__y mindscape and then bring it outside. This bloodline is called __**Jishou Zousaku**__. Like the __**Magick Tekkai**__, it has been a very long time since the last user."_

* * *

"You just gotta love stories where people like Toolruto get such powerful techniques without any hard work or drawbacks whatsoever," Tenten said.

"Yeah, you gotta love these stories. …Love to burn them," Sasuke said.

* * *

_"So the objects you make are permanent?" Sarutobi asked, not knowing any details himself._

_"Well, norm__ally yes. However, I may leave a trace of chakra n it like in this one, making it vulnerable to my __**Magick Tekkai**__." Naruto said and activating his Magic Cancel and destroying the spear completely._

_"Very useful ability, not to mention powerful. You could create a serious blockade when retreating and if you have to go back you can easily make it disappear. Not to mention you would never run out of weapons." Shikaku mussed._

_"Or food" Naruto said, now eating an apple that had appeared in his hand._

_"You can make organic materials?" Inoichi asked in shock. "How about animals?"_

_"It might be possible… but I have yet to reach that level of mastery. I wouldn't want to summon a corpse." Naruto said hesitantly._

* * *

Everyone had a good chuckle at that. As if the 'Great and Almighty' Toolruto would ever have a single flaw within him.

* * *

_"Yes, a soul would be required for a conscious being. Tha__t's how the Lifemaker created the people of Mundus Magicus, he gradually gathered souls from Mundus Vetus and then gave them bodies in his new world."__ Negi confirmed._

_"I don't intend to steal any souls anytime soon, or ever if I can help it"__ Naruto told hi__m._

* * *

"Nice to see that Toolruto at least draws the line at soul stealing. It's good to know that even _evil_ has standards," Tsunade said.

"10,000 yen says that he makes an exception for Sasuke, Sakura or me," Kiba said.

* * *

_"I'm glad to hear that. I only did so once, but with that soul' permission"__ Negi said._

_"So, is there anything else you might want to show us, Naruto-kun?" Sarutobi asked._

_"Yes, there is. First, I will show you what that stone block over there is for." Naruto said as he walked towards said stone block. "You made it a few days ago, I believe, so all remaining chakra should be gone by now. Hyuga-san, care to check?"_

_"There is no chakra in it." Hiashi confirmed._

_"Good. Now it would be best if you and Kakashi stop using your doujutsu, or you might go blind." the blond warned and Kakashi immediately covered his eye while the veins around Hiashi' eyes disappeared._

_At that point, Naruto raised his arms at his sides and began channeling mana in his left hand and ki in his right. When the quantities were equal, he clasped his hands, combining the two energies. Immediately, he was covered in a huge golden aura._

_"That power! With energy like that I really could have gone blind." Kakashi exclaimed._

_"Yes, very nice light show. What does it do anyway?" Hiashi asked annoyed._

* * *

"It makes ladies with only half a brain cream themselves in his presence, and bow down before him, duh!" Ino said.

"That putting 'duh' at the end of nearly all of your sentences is getting old, Ino," Sakura told her.

* * *

_"Hokage-sama, do you remember the details of Lady Tsunade' superhuman strength?" Naruto asked sweetly._

_"Yes, she uses her perfect chakra control to channel chakra at the point of impact. But why…" he began before his eyes widened in realization and eyed the golden aura warily._

_"Yes, why waste my concentration on channeling each strike when I can keep the optimal level of chakra all over my body as long as this technique is active." Naruto said before turning towards the stone block and jumping to reach its middle level so fast that it could have rivaled the Hiraishin. As he reached that high, he punched the stone with all his might. The results were mind breaking. The fifty feet tall stone cube had been literally turned to dust, blown away by the powerful punch. Naruto landed a little winded and deactivated the technique._

_"It's called __**Kankahō**__. The details of this technique' activation will remained a clan secret, but the knowledge wouldn't be of much use __to you at an advanced age." Naruto said._

_"I-I see, a clan secret technique like my own." Inoichi observed, trying to get out of shock. "I suspect that this technique is also ancient?"_

* * *

"BOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!" Naruto shouted. "If this was a fight, I could pretend to be interested. But it's just heaping praise upon praise on Toolruto, and it gets real old real fast!"

"I agree. Let's just read a few more choice paragraphs, then skim over the chapters we skipped," Shikamaru replied.

* * *

_"Anyway, back to the bloodline, I believe it would be very useful once you begin having missions outside the village and meet enemy ninja. Even in the village, if one of out bloodlines dies out, with a little effort we can recover it." Sarutobi said._

* * *

"Power-hungry Naruslave for the win!" Tenten cheered.

* * *

_"Like the Sharingan." Shibi observed._

_"Yes. However, I'm only allowing Naruto to gain a bloodline this from an enemy ninja, or given willingly by someone, or to maintain one of Konoha' bloodlines." Sarutobi said firmly and all the others agreed, even Hiashi. "I would want you to take the Sharingan right now, but with the way Sasuke and the civilian council are…" Sarutobi trailed off and sighed._

* * *

"Yeah, with the way they are, and for damn good reason," Sasuke snarled. "After all, Naruslave, you are nothing better than an incompetent fuckwit who has no purpose other than being Toolruto's bitch."

"Someone has to inject _sense_ into the plot, since you sure as hell can't seem to do it," Tsunade said.

* * *

_"What if the blood came from another Uchiha, not Sasuke?" Naruto asked with a slight grin._

_"Well, all of us would accept it I believe" Sarutobi turned towards the ninja council and received confirmation before turning back to Naruto "But besides Sasuke the only person you may get blood from is Uchiha Itachi, and beating him is no small thing, if you could ever find him, that is."_

_"What if he gave me his blood willingly?" Naruto inquired, barely maintaining a straight face._

_"I would pay to see that happen." Hiashi laughed. "Such foolishness! An Uchiha to give his blood willingly!"_

_"Well, I'm afraid you can't see it happen because it already did, a long time ago in fact" Naruto said as he took a small containment scroll from an inner pocket of his coat and unsealed it, revealing a small vial half filled with a frozen red substance._

* * *

"THAT'S IT!" Tenten roared. "This is just crap of the highest order! I mean, why the HELL would ITACHI, of all people, just give a five year old Naruto some of his blood?-! He couldn't have POSSIBLY known that Naruto would use it like that! This is just a stupid plot device to give Toolruto even MORE underserved power! SENSE, THIS SHIT MAKES NONE!"

Lee smacked Tenten in the face again, to snap her out of it.

And Tenten responded with a right hook of her own, knocking Lee out.

"That hitting me thing was a 'one time deal' only!" Tenten said, shaking her fist to cool it off. "Oh well, at least it can't get any wors-

* * *

_"I will call it the __**Fuhen Clan**__." Naruto grinned._

* * *

"…"

Tenten didn't say a word. She just stood up, opened the door, and left.

"…Someone go make sure that she doesn't do something she'll regret," Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. By the way, for those wondering what 'Fuhen' means, it's translated as 'Eternal'.

Yeah.

Hope you enjoyed, and catch you next continue! Next chapter will be the final part of the Bashing Fic storyline.


	27. Final Bashing! Part 1

There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

"Thanks for stopping Tenten before she did something she would regret, Shizune-san!" Gai declared, giving the flustered Medic-Nin his Nice Guy pose.

"N-No problem, Gai-san," Shizune replied. Tenten lied before her, hogtied and knocked out thanks to a syringe that she had used on her. "May I ask what caused her to…act like that?"

"It's this fanfic that we're reading right now, Shizune," Sakura replied, happy to see her fellow Tsunade student. "Let's just say…that it's doing a real good job of pressing our buttons. I'm just surprised that Tenten was the first to snap, considering that the story hasn't even mentioned her once." Shizune tilted her head to the right a bit.

"…Fanfic? What is that. exactly?" Sakura shook her head.

"It'll take too long to explain it right now. Long story short, we stumbled upon this website that had stories written about us. The first few were pretty decent, but…well, the one we're reading right now has left a rather bitter taste in our mouths." Shizune raised an eyebrow.

"If that's the case, then why are you still reading it? Why not just move on?" Kakashi shrugged.

"We saw that it had over a thousand reviews, and thought that it may have been because it was really good. So far, that has not been the case." Ino nodded in agreement.

"We skipped ahead a bit to see if it got any better. It hasn't. So, we're skipping ahead four chapters to chapter thirteen, and giving it one last chance." Lee did a thumbs up.

"Indeed! And we plan to read the whole chapter through for once!" Shizune stared at him.

"You haven't gone through a whole chapter yet?" Sakura gave her a look.

"Pushes our buttons, remember? You wanna see why?" Shizune shrugged her shoulders before sitting on the floor

"Okay. It's not like there's much work to do at the hospital for the time being." Tsunade smirked.

"Glad to see we're on the same wavelength."

* * *

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

_**Of Youki and Exorcism**_

_It was finally the day of the confrontation with Zabuza and both Naruto and Kakashi were on the edge of their nerves._

* * *

"Huh. Wasn't that Zabuza guy the person that you fought in the Land of Waves?" Kiba asked.

"Correct. I remember it as though it was yesterday," Kakashi said.

"I wonder if the author is just going to have him waste both Sakura and I," Sasuke grumbled. I wouldn't put it past him."

* * *

_In spite of Naruto' confidence that the plan would work, he couldn't help but worry about Haku. No matter how many of the calming pills she ate, the desire to__ rip that bastard' heart out wouldn't disa__p__pear. At most, it would restrict her blood lust and keep her pulse moderate._

* * *

"Oh goody. Looks like I wasn't the only person to have his character raped, was I?" Naruto growled.

"Wasn't Haku a boy?" Sakura asked.

"I think the fact that Haku, _of all people_, wants to kill Zabuza is the main issue," Kakashi deadpanned.

* * *

_He couldn't describe how relieved he was when they saw the two figures that towered over the uncon__s__cious workers on the bridge._

_"You see Kakashi? I was right: he is too dumb to give up!" Naruto grinned._

_"Yeah. I guess I owe you a drink when we get back to Konoha." Kakashi replied, his mask hiding his smile._

* * *

"Great. Now I'm somehow all buddy-buddy with Toolruto," Kakashi groaned.

* * *

_"Confident, aren't you __gaki?" Zabuza growled out. "I'll make sure to use your bones to polish my blade. Haku! I want him dead. Take the four brats out!" he ordered._

_Haku immediately jumped away from the missing-nin, but not towards the Konoka ninja, but towards the edge of the bridge. She quickly made a few handsigns and soon enough Zabuza was surrounded by a dome of ice senbon. He had barely a split second to jump away; using his giant sword to block any needles that might have hit vital areas. As he landed, he channeled some chakra in is wounded muscles and expelled the needles._

_"Are you betraying me, Haku? After all I've done for you?" Zabuza called out angrily._

_"Like kill my parents and kidnap me?" she replied with hate._

* * *

"What the fuck? As someone who saw Zabuza forfeit his live to kill someone who kicked Haku when he was _already dead_, this **angers me**," Naruto snarled.

"I have to agree, Naruto. This author isn't doing ANY of us justice," Kakashi replied.

"I've never met Zabuza. But by the way you described him, he doesn't sound like the type of man to do something like that," Gai said.

* * *

_"How do you...? Impossible! The seal is still there! I checked before we came here!" the rogue jounin shouted in disbelief._

_"Actually, what you say was just the fake seal I put on her after I removed the real one." Naruto said as he took a step forward._

_"You dumb gaki! Do you know how much that seal cost me?" Zabuza shouted in rage._

_"Nope, I can't bring myself to care, either." the blond grinned and began to chant mentally__** "Dominus de Somnis Ille **__**Territus! Omne Flammans Flamma Purgatus, Domine Extinctionis et Signum Reg**__**e**__**nerationis, in Mea Manu Ens Inimicum Edat! Flagrantia Rubicans!"**__ and held his right hand out towards Zabuza._

* * *

"Only to find it severed and flying away in a shower of blood, because he was stupid enough to expect Zabuza to just _stand_ _there_ while he did his long ass chant," Kiba said.

"Wouldn't Kakashi or one of the others intercept?" Shizune questioned.

"No. They'd be too much in awe at Toolruto's greatness to do anything…except Sakura, Sasuke and Kiba, who would be laughing their asses off," Ino replied.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" All three of them shouted.

* * *

_A large blast of fiery red fire flew towards the former Kiri ninja. He once again used his sword to d__e__fend himself. Unfortunately for him, t__he fire was no ordinary fire jutsu, so it didn't disperse after i__m__pact, but kept pushing, going around the blade and burning Zabuza' right shoulder until the energy was spent._

_As Naruto was attempting to fry Zabuza, Sasuke was about to charge at Haku, with__ his loyal pink sid__e__kick after him of course. Kakashi saw this and called out to them._

_"The masked one is no longer our enemy. Don't attack her!" he ordered as Haku removed her mask in order to see well._

_"Why? She helped Zabuza last time!" Sakura asked confused._

_"She switched sides; she's with us now." Kakashi explained._

_"No! Once an enemy, always an enemy! She must die!" Sasuke said stubbornly and charged at Haku._

* * *

"This. Is. So. Stupid." Sasuke grit out, banging his head against the nearest wall.

"Sasuke would at least be smart enough to wait until Haku was worn out from the fight (or wait until Toolruto was fully distracted) before he went after him," Kakashi said.

* * *

_However, he had barely made three steps when Naruto appeared in front of him and backhanded him straight in Sakura' arms._

_"That was an order, Uchiha. Touch her and you'll find yourself in a world of pain for insubordination." the blond said coldly._

* * *

"Oh, fuck you. With all the shit you've pulled up to this chapter, you'd find yourself on DEATH ROW if these people had any common sense," Sasuke said, flipping off the Laptop.

"This story _must_ be bad to get that strong a reaction out of Sasuke-san," Shizune said in awe.

* * *

_"Trouble in paradise?" Zabuza asked as he appeared behind Naruto and swung his sword at him._

_As it hit, Naruto dispersed in an explosion of wind that gave Zabuza a few cuts on his arms._

_"Why worry about paradise when you're going to hell?" Naruto' voice was heard and Zabuza jumped away as a blast of cold energy landed at his feet._

* * *

"What a waste of a Joke. Why didn't he just fry him? It would have made much more sense," Shino said.

"Don't question the great Toolruto!" Asuma declared.

"Yeah! Do you _want_ to be his bitch?" Kurenai said.

* * *

_He wasn't fast enough though and the ice pillars caught one of his legs._

_While he was distracted, Naruto appeared at his side and kicked the sword out of his hand._

_"What was that?" Kakashi looked from the ice keeping Zabuza trapped to Naruto. Only he could have done it; Haku had been in front of him and hadn't done any handsigns._

_**"Crystallizatio Tellustris"**__ was the blond' reply as he threw two kunai in each of Zabuza' arms, thus stopping the handsigns he had begun to make._

_"Are you ready to die, Zabuza?" Haku asked coldly as she picked up Zabuza' sword._

* * *

"ZABUZA SWORD CAN'T BE BEAT!" Naruto shouted.

."…What on earth possessed you to shout that out?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm just as confused as you are," Naruto shrugged.

* * *

_**"You're **__**going to pay for this! I'm gonna gut you like I did to your mother!"**__ he yelled in unholy rage._

_At that comment, Haku' barely restrained killing intent spiked. Her blood lust washed over everyone one on the bridge, Kiba and Sakura actually wetting themselve__s. Tazuna and Sasuke were trembling like leaves and even Kakashi was slightly uncomfortable. The only one who looked completely una__f__fected was Naruto, who had felt worse from the villagers over the years._

* * *

"Yeah. That's really believable. A bunch of villagers had worse killing intent than a goddamn Rouge-Nin," Naruto deadpanned. "Of course, I guess I wouldn't really know, considering the fact that they all IGNORED ME for most of my childhood."

"Plus, the whole paragraph is just stupid. Sure, I can see Sakura and mutt-face pissing themselves at this point in time, but I had to deal with ITACHI KILLING MY PARENTS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. And I'm pretty sure that his Killing Intent would make Sheku's its little bitch," Sasuke scoffed.

"HEY!" Sakura and Kiba roared.

"…Sheku?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My new nickname for this girly Haku," Sasuke replied.

* * *

_Zabuza, being the target of it all had frozen stiff__, his eyes wide in fear. He had never even considered the possibility of this young girl, which he intended to sell to Kumo in a few months, to be able to r__e__lease so much killing intent._

* * *

"It's a wonder that the Ninja Police haven't been called, what with all the rape of character that's going on for no good reason," Kakashi said.

"That's probably because they're all _dead_, Kakashi," Sasuke said, glaring at his former sensei.

"…Sorry," Kakashi said.

* * *

_"Wait! Haku, you're not going to kill me, are you? You hate killing, you never killed before even!" he tried fruitlessly to persuade her._

_Without another word to the pathetic man before her, Haku swung the large blade and cut the famous swordsman' head clean of._

_Silently, Naruto approached her and grabbed her in a tight hug as she broke down in tears._

* * *

"Somebody's PMSingggg~" Ino sang.

"God. Makes me glad that I haven't been around you whenever you do that, Kurenai," Asuma sighed.

Kurenai glared at him. "Pray that you never are, Asuma. Pray _hard_."

* * *

_"It's alright, Haku-chan, it's over." he whispered to her._

_"I killed someone! And I enjoyed it! I'm just like him now, a..." she sobbed._

_"You're nothing like him, Haku-chan!" Naruto cut her off. "Avenging your family, putting t__hose mem__o__ries to rest... it's only natural to be a little pleased about it."_

* * *

"Ten to one says that Toolruto is gonna shit all over Sasuke when it comes to the same thing," Tsunade said.

"That's a fool's bet," Kakashi said.

* * *

_Haku looked at him and smiled. She was about to open her mouth and thank him when they all heard clapping._

_"How emotional! I could cry after I puke first!" a voice said as the clapping stopped._

* * *

"You and I both, pal. You and I both," Kiba agreed.

* * *

_Looking in the direction they heard it, a large group slowly became visible as it approached through the morning mist._

_When they were fifty feet away, the group was fully visible. Over two hundred bandits were before them, and leading them was a short business man with a cane._

_"Gato!" Haku spat._

_"So the mighty Demon of the Mist wasn't as tough as rumored. And the ice bitch switched sides, huh? No matter, I never intended to pay you two anyway." Gato smirked._

_"What do you mean by that?" Naruto asked coldly._

* * *

"GASP! The great Toolruto _doesn't_ know everything!" Ino said.

"The world must be coming to an end!" Kiba shouted, waving his arms in panic.

* * *

_"These missing-nin are so easy to handle! The famous ones in particular! I tell them that I'll pay them after they do the mission and then kill them instead. After that, I get the bounty on their heads. Besides, why should I pay a fortune for just two ninja when I can all these guys for the same price?" Gato laughed._

_"Well, I fell ready for a little action, what about you, Kakashi?" Naruto asked, his now elongated fangs drawing blood from his lower lip._

_"I'm at 100% since I haven't done anything yet." Kakashi replied, activating his Sharingan. "Sasuke, Sasuke, Kiba. Maintain your position around Tazuna." he ordered. The three didn't even bother to nod; they were slowly backing up from the crowd of bandits. Even Sasuke, as much as he wanted to show his superiority, wasn't willing to attack head-on those numbers._

* * *

"Yeah, because 1. I have a brain. And 2, I'm not ridiculously overpowered like Toolruto is," Sasuke said.

* * *

_"Ah, let's not get too excited. We wouldn't want something to happen to the hostages, now would we?" Gato grinned evilly._

_Before any of the Konoha ninja could ask what he was talking abo__ut, they sensed a small group behind them. When they looked towards it, their blood ran cold: Tsunami and Inari were being forced to walk towards them by two Kiri missing-nin; both had a kunai at their hostage' throat. Naruto quickly reco__g__nized the two as __Tamotsu Hiroshi and Gekoku Kaito, both chunin-level._

_"You heard what he said about paying missing-nin. Why are you still obeying him?" Haku asked them._

_"We already got paid. Gato even promised us a bonus." Tamotsu gave her a lustful look._

_"Now, how about we strike a little deal?" Gato grinned. "Drop the weapons and give us the women. Then you can leave." he smirked._

* * *

"This is the most in character that I've seen anyone be in this fic," Kakashi declared.

"Yeah, I wouldn't put it past a slimeball like Gato to pull something like this," Sakura said in disgust.

* * *

_Before Kakashi could either accept or refuse, the three genin of Team 7 dropped their weapons. At this, even the bandits stared at Sakura in disbelief._

_"I knew it!" Naruto said, pointing at Sakura. "She IS a guy!"_

_"__**I'm not! I'm a girl you moron!"**__ she roared in anger and embarrassment._

_"Then she's a masochist." Haku shrugged. "That's the only explanation left." she added, Naruto no__d__ding sagely._

* * *

"GOD, these jokes suck. Not to mention that they come at really stupid times. Who the hell would joke right when your client has been captured by the enemy?" Shino groaned.

"The same tool that laughed when he slaughtered a whole bunch of Root ANBU in broad daylight," Asuma shrugged.

"Plus, it's _Toolruto_. Who the hell is he gonna lose to?" Tsunade sneered.

* * *

_"Anyway" Gato turned back towards Kakashi "The brats did the smart thing. Why don't you do the same?" he grinned._

_Before Kakashi could reply, Naruto took out a card and said one word._

_"__**Adeat!"**_

_The card glowed a white light and turned into a black-sheathed katana._

_"Naruto…" Kakashi said warningly. He had seen the desperate look on Tazuna' face. The man was so afraid for his family that he wasn't even yelling at the rogue ninja to release them._

_"Don't worry Kakashi, Tazuna. I got this." Naruto said as he drew the sword from its sheath._

_"Confident, aren't ya brat?" Gekoku mocked him "Just because you managed to kill Zabuza when it was six against one, now you think you can take two chunin by yourself?"_

_"Gekoku Kaito AKA Shadow Thief of the Mist. Your bloodline is quite intriguing to me. Will you give me what I need, or shall I take it?" Naruto smirked. "Decisions, decisions…"_

* * *

"That Bloodline stealing little psychopath…" Sasuke snarled.

"Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen!" Kakashi said with a flourish.

* * *

That's it for the first part! Sorry for the wait, people. I've decided to put this last chapter for the bash fic in two parts, so I could get it out quicker.

And finally…the moment you've been waiting for!

The winner of the poll by 65 votes is…Time Travel Fic! Congrats to all the people that voted for that one.

I've already got some in mind, but I'd love to hear if you have any favorites that you'd like to see in the story (except for Chunin Exam Day. I'm not touching that fic with a Ten foot pole).

Anyway, the second part will hopefully be up soon. Catch you Next Continue!


	28. Final Bashing! Part 2

There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

_"Ya think you can just kill me and take my bloodline? You got some nerve, gaki!" Gekoku growled and partially removed the kunai from Tsunami' neck in his anger._

* * *

"This guy _sucks_ as a Ninja. He had the advantage with his Kunai near Tsunami's throat, and he lets a little punk like Toolruto make him let his guard down?" Asuma sighed.

"Who is this guy, anyway? I've never heard of him before," Gai asked.

"Someone to make Toolruto look good, what else?" Tsunade shrugged.

* * *

_"You're already dead. You just don't know it yet." Naruto said in a deathly cold voice as he raised his sword and then swung it towards the angry ninja calling out __**"Zanganken Ni-no-Tachi!"**_

_A slightly visible arc of energy was released from the blade and passed right through Tsunami, not leaving even a scratch on her. Gekoku however wasn't so lucky. As he opened his mouth to mock Nar__u__to because of the ineffective – in his opinion – attack, blood erupted from his throat and the cut became visible. Or rather slice, since he was literally cut in half horizontally right through his heart._

* * *

"…How the heck does _that_ work?" Kiba scratched his head.

"I've learned through the course of the story to just go with the flow. Trying to question something will just make you angry," Kurenai said.

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one having his character raped!" Sasuke growled.

* * *

_Seeing that holding a hostage was meaningless, Tamotsu quickly let go of Inari and began to back away warily._

_"Alright, I'll take you on fair and square." he said as he took out his sword._

_"What is Kiri teaching people these days?" Naruto shook his head disapprovingly. "Don't then know that dead men like you aren't supposed to talk?"_

_Before Tamotsu could retort a sword passed through his throat, edge upwards, before it spun upwards cutting his head in half. The 'Naruto' he was talking to burst into smoke._

* * *

"And this guy is the hero?" Naruto said in disbelief.

"Considering that he just slaughtered that Tamotsu guy like it was nothing, what do you think?" Kakashi deadpanned.

* * *

_At this point Gato was wetting his pants from seeing the gore made by the young blonde._

_"Kill them all! I'll pay you double! No, triple! Just kill them!" he yelled and began running through the bandits, away from the shinobi group._

_The bandits quickly did as ordered, figuring that what they lacked in power compensated in numbers._

_"Kakashi, you take the ones on the left. Haku, you take the right. I'll handle the middle." Naruto said as he raised his sword. "These idiots are still underestimating us. I'll show them what I can really do with my __**Tessaiga!**__" he shouted the name of his sword as swirling energy gathered around the blade, for__m__ing a larger shape. Just as it appeared, the swirling energy dispersed leaving a large curbed blade b__e__hind. The bandits hesitated for a moment as the saw this change, but quickly dismissed it as being just like Zabuza' sword, the one they were initially hired to kill. They couldn't have been more wrong._

* * *

"I hate not knowing where Toolruto gets all of these powerful swords and moves," Sakura griped.

"It would most likely help if we read all of the chapters that we skipped," Lee pointed out.

"And torture ourselves like that? No thanks!" Ino shook her head.

* * *

_When they were thirty feet away from Naruto, he closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. As he e__x__haled, he opened his now blood-red demonic eyes and slashed at them with his sword, calling out __**"Kaze no Kizu!"**__ The wind currents picked up around the massive wave of youki and ravaged through the bandits, killing over one hundred with that one strike._

* * *

"I feel sorry for Tazuna. It's gonna be a bitch to clean up all of that blood and gore and body parts," Chouji said.

"Yeah. It's troublesome for me to just clean my room! Can you imagine having to even _look_ at something like that?" Shikamaru shuddered.

* * *

_As he quickly scanned the bodies, he didn't see Gato anywhere. Making a few dozen Kage Bunshin to assist Kakashi and Haku, he ran towards the unfinished end of the bridge from where the bandits came. As he got to the edge, he saw Gato in a small boat with several bandits rowing towards the shore. He met the business man' gaze and saw his annoying smirk. The idiot actually thought he couldn't catch up?_

_As he looked from the blond towards the nearby shore, Gato couldn't help but gasp in horror. In the time it took him to turn his head, Naruto had arrived in front of the boat, walking on water towards them._

_"Hold on! Let's talk about this!" Gato pleaded as his guards fell dead with a kunai stuck between their eyes._

_"Oh, I'll talk about it when I will report to the Hokage how I killed you." Naruto said coldly._

* * *

"Seems that Toolruto regards _everything_ coldly that doesn't have breasts and a pussy, unless it's also named Sakura," Ino said.

"You're just _now_ figuring this out?" Kakashi replied.

* * *

_"Wait! I'll give you anything you want! Money, women, land… anything!" Gato begged as he backed away towards the other end of the boat._

_"You can't bring back all those you killed from the village" Naruto countered as he made a spear a__p__pear in his hand._

_"Even if you kill me, the reserve group will… GAH!" he didn't have time to finish as the spear pierced his chest and lungs. As he died, he gave Naruto an evil, revengeful smirk._

* * *

"That's surprising," Asuma said.

"What is?" Kurenai asked.

"I was sure that Toolruto would kill Gato in the most brutal, pants-messing way. He would have been one of the _few_ victims of Toolruto that _deserved_ it," Asuma replied.

* * *

_Pondering on the threat, Naruto hurried to assist at the bridge. Most of the bandits were dead, only a few remained and Kakashi and Haku didn't seem seriously injured as they mostly kept their distance and attacked with long range jutsu. Naruto made sure to copy Kakashi' __**"Suiton: Suiryūdan no jutsu"**__ and Haku' __**"Sensatsu Suishō"**__ since he was far enough for his brief activation of the Sharingan to go unnoticed. Because of this, he noticed that one of the bandits near the three genin that watched the ba__t__tle in fear was still alive and relatively uninjured._

* * *

"…Oh, FUCK ME," Sasuke groaned. "That little shit has the fucking SHARINGAN now?-!"

"Huh. I guess that's what he did with Itachi's blood from chapter nine," Kakashi shrugged.

"I wonder how long it will take for Toolruto to crap all over Sasuke for stealing techniques for his own ends when he in fact is doing the _same thing_?" Ino asked, tapping her chin.

* * *

_As the bandit got up from behind the group, Naruto prepared to do a Shundou to appear behind him. However, just as the bandit was about to strike Tazuna an arrow pierced his throat and he dropped dead._

_Looking towards the source of the arrow, Naruto' eyes widened when he saw a large group of villager armed with various weapons, from knives to forks and bows. Apparently, Inari and Tsunami had rushed back to the village to get help. And, most surprising, the one leading them was Inari who had a crossbow in his hands. Naruto noticed with relief that the crossbow was still loaded so the kid wasn't the one that killed the bandit._

_As he watched this little arrival, Haku and Kakashi killed the remaining bandits. The villagers offered to take care of the clean-up duty but Naruto declined._

_"My clones will be quicker." he said before making over a hundred Kage Bunshin._

_The clones quickly gathered the bodies and took all the weapons and valuables. The weapons were sealed in scrolls while the valuables were given to the villagers. He also sealed the heads of the three dead ninja in separate scrolls since there were bounties on them, as well as the Kubikiri Hōchō. Naruto personally took a large vial of Gekoku' blood to assimilate later. He had already discussed with his t__e__nants and they all agreed that this __**Pocket Dimension Creation**__ bloodline would be useful._

* * *

"Too bad he never had a chance to use it on Toolruto," Sasuke sighed.

"Yeah, that would have been the perfect fate for him, stuck in a different Dimension for all eternity," Sakura said, giddy at the thought.

* * *

_Once all the bodies were gathered in one place, Kakashi suggested that they should bring some wood to burn them. At this, Naruto smirked and told everyone to back away at least fifty feet._

_**"Dominus de Somnis Ille Territus! Agite Tenebrae Abyssi, Ensis Incendens! Et Incendium Caliginis Umbrae Inimicitiae Destructionis Ultionis! Incendant et Me et Eum, Sint Solum Incendentes! I**__**n**__**cendium Gehennae!"**__ he mentally chanted and released a huge wave of dark fire that quickly env__e__loped the assembled bodies. It took less then a minute for it to die down, leaving behind only ash in the surface of the stone bridge. The entire time it burned, everyone besides Naruto watched in horrified fascination. But, as quick as they snapped out of it…_

_"Uzumaki! I command you to teach me. A an Uchiha all fire jutsu are ours!" Sasuke said as he a__p__proached Naruto._

* * *

Sasuke said nothing. He just face palmed before banging his head against the floor and keeping it there.

"Tell me when the defilement of my character is over…for the time being," Sasuke said in a muffled voice.

"Now, I could go on about how stupid and Out of Character it would be for Sasuke to demand something from someone who he _knows_ could wipe the floor with him, and about how stupid doing this more than once is (unless the someone in question is Itachi). But I'd sound like a broken record at that point, so I'm just going to grimace and nod. Slowly," Kakashi said, doing just that.

* * *

_"You command ME?" Naruto said as he slowly walked towards the Uchiha, releasing a moderate amount of killing intent. "You, a lowly genin that wasn't paying attention to hi surroundings and almost got our client killed dares to make demands?" Naruto asked the slowly retreating avenger._

_"Yes! I need it to kill Itachi!" Sasuke played his usual trump card. The villagers always backed down at it, surely the dobe would…_

* * *

"Here we go…" Kiba sighed.

"Just tune your mind out of it. You'll be much happier," Kurenai suggested.

"Either that, or think of Toolruto as a Villain Protagonist," Shino added.

* * *

_"And why should I help you kill Itachi?" Naruto asked coldly. "Even after what he did, he's still a hu__n__dred times the man you or your father ever were."_

* * *

"And just how the hell would Toolruto know anything about Sasuke-kun's father?" Sakura said.

"What did I say about tuning out your mind?" Kurenai said a bit testily.

* * *

_At that comment Sasuke took a kunai and threw it at Naruto. Before it got even close to him, it was de__f__lected by an ice senbon from Haku._

_Kakashi immediately got next to Sasuke and grabbed him by the collar._

_"Listen carefully Sasuke, because I'm only going to say this once: attack a non-enemy again and I'll have you restrained for the rest of this mission. Remember it well." the jounin growled, letting the Uchiha fall on his ass._

* * *

"…Okay, I've seen enough," Kakashi said, casually readying a Lightning Blade in his hand. "The only merciful thing left to do is put this Laptop out of its misery."

"I'll be putting _you_ out of your misery if you damage that computer, Hatake," Tsunade growled.

"Don't care. Nothing you could put me through could compare to letting this poor Laptop live on with the memory of having this 'story' on it," Kakashi replied.

"Nothing, huh? Not even burning all of your Icha-Icha Paradise books slowly, while you watch?"

"…You win this round."

* * *

_Sasuke quickly got up and walked away fuming while Sakura went after him. As he got near the clones that were guarding the containment scrolls, he punched the nearest one and attempted to pick up the scroll it dropped when it dispelled. However, before he could touch it his stretched hand was grabbed by Kakashi'._

_"What? I'm just taking a damn scroll!" Sasuke erupted._

_"One you have no right to, since you didn't earn it." Kakashi countered._

_"He can have mine, sensei!" Sakura said._

_"You're not getting anything either, nor is Kiba." Kakashi wiped the smirk of the dog user' face. "I didn't ask you to attack the enemy; all I ordered you to do was to guard Tazuna. Task you obviously failed at, since he almost got killed while you three weren't paying attention."_

_"You should consider yourselves lucky that the bandit didn't consider you three a threat." Haku said as she accepted two scrolls that contained senbon._

_"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that the three geniuses dropped their weapons when the enemy told them to." Naruto quipped._

_"Oh, that reminds me..." Kakashi turned to glare at the three "do something as reckless as that again and I'll have you removed from the ninja ranks."_

* * *

"It's not like we had much choice. Tazuna's family was being held at Kunai-point, goddamnit!" Sasuke snarled.

"Yeah, just because Toolruto was so fucking overpowered that _he_ didn't have anything to worry about, doesn't mean that he can talk down to us like that!" Sakura growled.

"And _fuck _that Haku chick! She gets two scrolls just because she turned on her master and defected? Who's to say that she won't do the same damn thing later on to Toolruto?" Kiba shouted.

"That would be a blessing, come to think of it," Naruto replied. "Then she can kill this imposter and rescue the real me!"

* * *

_"You can't do that to Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cried in horror._

_"Yeah, the council..." Sasuke began with a smirk._

* * *

"Hates my fucking guts and would have rather had me die during the massacre, so this sentence makes no sense in anyway whatsoever," Sasuke finished.

* * *

_"Would rather have a civilian Uchiha then a dead one. I can make sure of that." Naruto cut him off._

_"Now, go back to Tazuna' house and stand guard until we return. And I WILL know if you don't." K__a__kashi ordered and watched the trio silently walk away, glaring all the while at the blond._

_"Are those three really ninja?" Haku asked in disbelief._

_"Yeah. The council forced me to pass them." Kakashi mumbled._

* * *

"…Didn't I just say that the council hates me? It would make more sense for them to make sure I fail every chance they get, just so I wouldn't become a threat," Sasuke said, eyebrow twitching.

* * *

_Shaking her head, Haku turned towards Naruto and eyed the two scrolls he was holding for her to take with a grim expression. They contained Zabuza' head, respectively his sword. With a short nod, she a__c__cepted them._

_"Kakashi, when we get back to Tazuna' house we need to talk." Naruto told the jounin in a serious voice, earning a curios nod._

* * *

"Great. Does everyone who isn't named Sasuke, Sakura and Kiba bend over backwards for this guy so they can kiss his ass?" Tsunade groaned.

"You forgot about Zabuza. _He_ certainty didn't kiss Toolruto's ass," Asuma pointed out.

"Yeah, and look where that got him," Shikamaru deadpanned.

* * *

_Half hour later, the Konoha ninja, Haku and Tazuna were gathered around the kitchen table, all wea__r__ing worried looks. Naruto had just told them Gato' last words._

_"Well, the best we can do is to keep constant watch in the village and the surrounding forest. When we'll find them, then we'll decide what to do." Kakashi said._

_"Way ahead of you, Kakashi. I dispatched over a hundred Kage Bunshin for this task. I even sent some at Gato' hideout, where Zabuza and Haku had been staying. Considering how far from here it is, I'll get the information in an hour or so." Naruto informed._

_"Good idea, he's most likely keeping a lot of his 'taxes' there. With any luck, the villagers will get some of their money and possessions back." Kakashi nodded in agreement._

_"Thank you." Tazuna said, bowing his head in gratitude._

_"Hmph, about time I'm shown some gratitude." Sasuke said smugly._

* * *

Sasuke began to cry.

"Oh my GOD. Why is this…this…this IDIOT of an author making me act so _stupid_?-!" The once proud Uchiha sobbed.

"I gotta agree. You aren't anywhere _near_ this conceited in real life," Chouji said, nodding his head.

"The power of hate is something indeed, eh Sasuke?" Tsunade said in pity.

* * *

_"Kakashi, you need to have Sasuke' head checked as well when we get back to Konoha; he's delirious." Naruto shook his head._

_"__**Dobe! I'm gonna ki…"**__ the avenger began yelling, but he was rather quickly silenced by the killing intent coming from Haku and Kakashi. Naruto on the other hand had an amused look on his face, a__l__most taunting the Uchiha to try._

* * *

"ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! **YOU SMUG LITTLE SHIT! IF YOU WERE REAL, I'D SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU'D BE PUKING SHIT AND BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMOR…"**

Sasuke was cut off when he felt a prickling sensation in his arm. He looked towards where it came from, and saw Shizune with a shot in her hand. Before he could say anything, he felt the shot take effect and went off into blissful sleep.

Shizune said nothing as she tied him up as well, placing him next to Tenten.

"Thanks for that, Shizune-san," Kakashi said.

Shizune gave a small smile. "No Problem."

* * *

Phew! This chapter is much harder to get out than I thought! Sorry to have kept all of you waiting!

Anyway, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that there's going to be one more chapter of the bash fic. I underestimated how long it would be, and have to do this so that it won't take me forever to update.

But the good news is that I've chosen the fic to be used for the Time Travel story! That fic is the one that most of you asked for; 'It's For a Good Cause, I Swear!'. I got the okay from Sarah1281, so you'll see the Naruto group reading that fic on the chapter after the next! Hope you look forward to it!

Catch you Next Continue!


	29. Final Bashing! Part: Screw This!

There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

_"At any rate, we should use this time to recover the chakra we used on the bridge. Tazuna already agreed to let Haku stay here until this mission is over, so she and Naruto will be sharing a room with me." Kakashi said, giving Naruto a look that told him it was not debatable and he WILL be sleeping inside for once._

* * *

"You gotta love how 'trusting' Tazuna is," Asuma said. "I mean, letting someone who once tried to kill him stay in his house? Genius."

"To be fair, she did slay her former master right in front of him, so she might have switched sides for real," Lee pointed out.

"I'd rather it be that she and Zabuza were tricking Toolruto into letting his guard down. Then she kills Tazuna in the dead of night, slips away with Zabuza undetected, and Toolruto feels like a fucking idiot for trusting her so damn quickly," Tsunade said, then sighed afterwards. "But then, this story might start to become _good_."

* * *

_"Alright, if that is all I think I'm going to take a nap." Haku announced as she got up and Tazuna o__f__fered to show her Kakashi' room._

_The group quickly broke up; Sasuke left mumbling something about getting stronger and was obviously followed by the pink lovesick puppy, while Kiba went to play with Akamaru in the woods. Apparently, the smell of blood on Naruto and Kakashi wasn't their favorite odor._

* * *

"Gee, ya think?" Kiba snarked. "Take a damn shower, ya tools!"

Akamaru yipped in agreement.

* * *

_"Kakashi, I need to talk to you about … a personal problem. Care to take a walk?" Naruto asked._

_"Um? Sure. But if it's about Haku, I need to warn you that I'm not the best person to talk to regarding relationships." Kakashi said as he followed the blond out of the house._

* * *

"You got that right, asshole," Ino quipped.

"Hell, even the _real_ Kakashi kinda sucks at relationships," Asuma said.

The Copy-Nin shrugged. "It's true."

* * *

_"Don't worry; I'm not going to ask you questions you can't answer." Naruto assured him._

_"__Questions I can't answer, huh?"__ Kakashi thought with a sigh as he followed Naruto into the woods. __"If only I was allowed to tell who your parents were… but I promised the Sandaime not to until he said you're ready…"_

* * *

"What was that, Kakashi?" Naruto asked.

"…Crap, I didn't say that in my mind, did I?" Kakashi replied, playing along.

* * *

_"So, what do you want to ask me about, Naruto?" Kakashi asked as they stopped._

_"Well, I'm pretty sure you know already, considering who your sensei was." Naruto smiled._

_"You want to ask me about the Yondaime?" Kakashi inquired cautiously._

_"Yes, I would like to know more about my father." Naruto grinned at the silver-haired jounin' reaction._

* * *

"Well, for one thing, he wasn't a condescending piece of shit like _you_," Kakashi said.

"I thought that it was just because of his genes!" Naruto protested, also playing along.

* * *

_"You knew? How? Since when?" Kakashi asked; he certainly didn't see this coming._

_"Yes, I was told by a talkative fox" Naruto smirked at both Kakashi' and Kyubi' reaction. "As for when, I was five years old, Inu-san"_

_"How did you know my former ANBU codename?" the jounin asked even more amazed. "Did the H__o__kage tell you?"_

_"No, I'm just good at picking up scents. That and your unique chakra signature" Naruto replied._

* * *

"ALL HAIL TOOLRUTO! ALL HAIL HIS 'AMAZING' DEDUCTION SKILLS!" Kiba shouted.

"Even though he would be NOTHING without the Kyuubi! HAIL TOOLRUTO! **HAIL HIM!**" Tsunade roared.

* * *

_"Well, since you already know who he is, I'm sure Hokage-sama won't mind if I tell you more about him. Though it would be better to do this after this mission." Kakashi agreed._

_"Yes, I know just the compound with the right atmosphere and privacy" Naruto grinned._

_"Then it's settled." Kakashi smiled._

_"Yep, we'll…" he suddenly stopped as he received information from some of his clones. "Hm, they found the hideout, but it has some sort of barrier around it. Nothing we can't get rid of, but it would be better to keep it until we've dealt with the bandits. It seems to be empty, too." Naruto informed._

_"Alright, let's go inform the others" Kakashi said and began to walk back until he heard Naruto swea__r__ing. "What?"_

_"Hurry, the teme is back early and I don't like the look on his face!" Naruto exclaimed as he ran past Kakashi, Shundou-ing as soon as he had enough space._

_When he landed in from to of the door de hurried inside, looking for Sasuke and Sakura. Not seeing the, he tried to sense them and Shundou-ed to the bottom of the stairs when he realized they were ente__r__ing Haku' room._

* * *

"Sigh…well, strap yourselves in, boys and girls. It's time for your daily helping of retarded bashing!" Ino said.

"It's not even worth getting angry about anymore, really," Sakura shrugged. "If the author had any common sense, he would have had the characters he's bashing get the hint by now. In fact…"

She abruptly stood up. "Fuck this fic. Both this fic, and the author. I'm gonna go for a walk around the village; maybe get some training in on the side. Come and get me when a GOOD story is on that laptop." With that, the Kunoichi walked out of the house, washing her hands of the whole thing.

* * *

_As he got in the doorway he paled seeing the two with their kunai in hand about to strike the girl. Without a second thought he thrust his left hand forward and called out __**"Emitam!"**__ releasing the do__z__en arrows of lightning he kept sealed in his left hand for emergencies._

_The small orbs of lightning slammed into the two offenders and pushed them away from Haku, who had woken up at his shout. The girl quickly backed away from the now paralyzed duo just as Kakashi a__p__peared in the room besides Naruto._

_"What do you think you're doing, teme?" Naruto growled out._

* * *

"Fuck if I know. I was just suddenly overcome with the urge to kill this girl, even though Kakashi made it _perfectly clear_ that there would be consequences if I did such a thing," Shikamaru said in an uncanny impression of Sasuke's voice.

"And I'm just along for the chance to get into Sasuke-kun's pants! I would NEVER question something like killing a new ally or anything!" Ino said, sounding like Sakura.

* * *

_"What does it look like?" Sasuke spat, trying to get his face off the wooden floor. "I'm killing the en__e__my!"_

_"You stupid, arrogant, useless bastard! How many times do we need to tell you in order to get it through your thick head? Haku is NOT our enemy!" Naruto growled as he picked the Uchiha by the collar and slammed him into the nearest wall._

_"Naruto!" Kakashi called out._

_"What?" he replied, looking over his shoulder._

* * *

"And then Kakashi ran him through with a Lightning Blade, ending the world's greatest threat before it could grow its influence to other nations," Asuma said.

"That's what I would've done," Tsunade said, nodding in approval.

* * *

_"Tie him up and follow me. We're not letting them cause any more trouble." Kakashi said as he picked up a tied-up Sakura. Fortunately, one of the lightning arrows had hit her in the face, thus resulting the current silence. "I'm sorry, Haku, I should have kept an eye on them..." Kakashi began._

_"That's nice and all, but can you get out so I can put some clothes on?" Haku interrupted with an edge in her voice._

_Both Kakashi and Naruto blinked and looked at Haku who was covering herself with one of the bed sheets. Looking towards her bed-roll they saw most of her clothes next to it. Without another word, the two took their prisoner and left, all the while avoiding looking at a now smirking Haku._

* * *

"And what, pray tell, does this bitch have to be smirking about?" Kiba said.

"Maybe she's smirking because she can't believe how STUPID these people are for trusting her so quickly, and that she's glad that Toolruto kept Sasuke and Sakura from killing her before she could pull off her plan," Shikamaru suggested.

* * *

_They took Sasuke and Sakura to an empty room and tied them to a support beam made of metal. They also made sure they were far enough from each other and had their hands apart so they wouldn't pe__r__form the escape jutsu. Still, one problem remained..._

_**"I'm an Uchiha! An elite! How dare you lowly bastards treat me like this? I'm gonna..."**__ he never got to continue as a small orb of lightning hit him in the face, knocking him out._

* * *

"Shizune, you did a great service by knocking out Sasuke before we went further," Ino said.

"Why are we still reading this in the first place? I mean, seriously," Chouji asked. "We know it's just gonna get worse and worse as we go on."

"You know what…you're right. Tell you what, everyone who wants to keep reading, raise your hand," Shikamaru said.

No one made a move.

"Everyone who wants to stop reading and delete this fic from the Laptop's history, raise your hand."

_Everyone_ raised _both_ of their hands. Including Shikamaru himself, and Sasuke and Tenten, _who were still knocked out._

"That settles it, then. Chaos Mage, farewell. You shall _not_ be missed," Shikamaru declared, going back to the Naruto section of the Fanfiction page, and deleting any history of the fic ever being read.

Everyone _cheered. For five minutes._

"Now that that nightmare is over, which fic should we look at now?" Kakashi inquired after the cheering died down.

"I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for a fic where people head back in time so they could set right what once went wrong," Neji said.

"Any particular reason for that, Neji?" Lee asked.

"Just that I was thinking about how much _I _want to go back in time so that I could spare you all of the horror that was Chaos Mage," Neji said.

"…You are a good friend, Neji," Naruto said. Everyone else agreed, regarding Neji with even more respect than ever before.

"In that case, how about this one?" Shikamaru asked, showing everyone a fic he stumbled upon.

* * *

_It's For a Good Cause, I Swear!__»__reviews_

_After receiving a time travel jutsu as payment for a mission, the original four members of Team 7 each get a chance to go back to one event in their life and change it. Surely they will use such an awesome power responsibly...right? Don't count on it. _

_Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 36 - Words: 120,535 - Reviews: 4377 - U__p__dated: 3-5-10 - Published: 9-28-09 - Team Seven - Complete_

* * *

"I have to say, with the lack of any bashing in the description, this fic already beats Chaos Mage by a mile," Shino said. Everyone agreed.

"It even has more reviews than…The Fic That Must Not Be Named," Chouji said.

"Though, if it truly _earns_ those reviews has yet to be seen," Ino pointed out.

"I haven't lost faith yet," Hinata said in a tiny voice. "Hopefully, it'll wash the taste of Not-Naruto-Kun out of our mouths…"

"Okay, here we go," Shikamaru said, clicking the link.

* * *

_It's For a Good Cause, I Swear!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto._

_Kakashi looked at the scroll in his hands with great interest. The man who had hired them for the e__x__ceedingly dangerous but rather tedious A-Rank mission hadn't had enough money to cover the fee, but had promised them some valuable scrolls in to make up the difference. Most of that had gone to G__o__daime to do with what she would, but this…well, this was a little too interesting to pass up._

_"What is it?" Naruto demanded impatiently. "You've been staring at that thing for the past hour!"_

_"I have not," Kakashi lied._

_"Kakashi-Sensei's right," Sakura sided with her teacher. Kakashi shot her a grateful look, but she wasn't finished. "He's been staring at it for the past hour and three minutes," she finished with a smirk._

_"Is it a powerful jutsu?" Sasuke asked. "Because if it's not, I've got better ways of wasting my time."_

* * *

"Not bad. Everyone's in character, for one thing," Tsunade said.

"Yeah. Naruto isn't a jackass, Sakura isn't a brain dead fangirl, Kakashi isn't playing favorites, and Sasuke doesn't think that Uchiha are Kami's gift to earth," Shino replied.

* * *

_"At least it's not porn this time," Sakura tried to be positive._

_Sasuke snorted. "I wouldn't be too sure…"_

_Kakashi ignored his three students, trying to decide whether or not he should share this with them. It was highly irresponsible, of course, and if anyone had thought to do so, it would be highly illegal as well. The man who had hired them clearly had no idea what he was parting with._

* * *

"Sucks to be him," Kiba shrugged. "Besides, it's not like _he _could have used it."

"Makes you wonder why he had it in the first place…not that I'm complaining," Shikamaru said.

* * *

_"This scroll contains a time travel jutsu," Kakashi said gravely, deciding that since Naruto had finally made good on his age-old promise to kick Sasuke's ass and bring him back home – stopping Madara and saving the world in the process – none of them were really the world-conquering types and as N__a__ruto didn't believe in revenge, Sasuke had already gotten his, and Sakura really hadn't had anything __too__ horrible by ninja standards happen to her, it was reasonably safe to share._

* * *

"Awesome! I managed to bring Sasuke-yarou back in this story, just like in real life!" Naruto cheered.

"That's good. I bet the Naruto in The-Fic-That-Must-Not-Be-Named would have danced on Sasuke's entrails and laughed during it," Kakashi said.

* * *

_"A time travel jutsu?" Sakura repeated skeptically. "I've never heard of anything like that. Even if it were possible, the energy required to use it would just be…" she trailed off, unable to think of a way to describe it._

_Kakashi shrugged. "That's the other reason I'm telling you. If the four of us do it at the same time, it should be powerful enough. Assuming, of course, Naruto uses the Kyuubi."_

_"When would we go back to?" Naruto asked._

_"Whenever," Kakashi replied. "We each have to pick a point in our lives that we'd like to relive and start over from there. I should warn you not to go back TOO far, because then you're stuck reliving your entire childhood as an adult and that would get very old, very fast. There's no way to get back to now, though, so think carefully before you decide: Do you want to use this?"_

_"Hell yeah!" Naruto shouted, pumping his fists in the air excitedly. "Just think of all the people I could help! I could save Haku, and old man Hokage, and Asuma! And I could help Gaara, and Neji, and…well, pretty much all my other friends with their various issues that much sooner! And I could kill Orochimaru!"_

* * *

Hinata smiled at that. Now _this_ is the Naruto-kun that she fell in love with. She could feel the grip of Not-Naruto-kun releasing himself from her brain.

"Thank god! Looks like fic me is back to his old self!" Naruto said.

"Good to have him back," Kiba stated. Akamaru barked in agreement, licking Naruto on the cheek much to Naruto's protest.

* * *

…_Well, it's nice to know you have a plan," Kakashi said, feeling that Naruto was probably getting a little ahead of himself. And who was Haku again?_

_"I __guess__ it would be nice to see if I could make a difference by not being useless at the beginning when everything started going to hell," Sakura mused._

_"Sasuke?" Kakashi questioned the last member of his initial team._

_Sasuke smirked. "I'm sure I could think of some way to occupy myself."_

* * *

"Insert evil laughter here," Ino deadpanned.

"I'm sure you're thinking about…never mind. We're reading a different fic right now. We should just stop mentioning…_that fic_ from now on," Asuma said.

"…Part of the reason I hate it so much is because it _won't leave my head__,_" Ino snarled.

* * *

_Choosing not to press for answers lest he hear something that would make him reconsider, Kakashi smiled brightly – not that anyone could tell beneath the mask, of course, but it was really the thought that counted – and said cheerfully, "Let's do it, then."_

_Kakashi knew EXACTLY where he'd wanted to be. The minute he saw the words 'Time Travel' he knew. And he'd had so many flashbacks back to this day over the years that he was certain he could get it right. If not….well, he was a good twenty years older and more experienced since then, and hadn't he and Rin always agreed that had Minato-Sensei been there, things wouldn't have ended so tragically? Sure he'd miss his trademark Sharingan eye – and if he lost his left eye AGAIN then there would be some real hell to pay, regardless of how everything else worked out – but Obito's life would be worth the inconvenience. And it's not like there wouldn't be plenty of unused Sharingan eyes a few years down the road if he was really desperate anyway…_

* * *

"…That's rather…morbid," Kakashi sweatdropped. "True, but morbid."

"Ain't that the truth," Gai agreed.

"…I just said that was true," Kakashi said, looking at Gai with half-lidded eyes.

* * *

_"Are you even listening to me?" Obito demanded angrily._

_"Not even slightly," Kakashi confessed, a smile crossing his face despite himself as he climbed to his feet. Obito had apparently knocked him to the ground. Not surprising, if this was the infamous Rescue Rin conversation._

_"I definitely can't stand you!" Obito yelled, furious that his heartfelt pleas to go and rescue Rin didn't even seem to merit the 'commander's' attention._

* * *

"I should probably say something along the lines of, 'How does this person know so much about my past," Kakashi said. He shrugged. "But that would be pointless considering how many stories we've read up to this point."

"Ain't that the truth," Gai said.

"…" Kakashi went, still staring at Gai.

* * *

_"That hurts, really," Kakashi said, half-serious._

_"You know what else hurts?" Obito asked rhetorically. "The thought of us abandoning Rin to her fate!"_

_"Of course we're not going to abandon Rin!" Kakashi said, shocked._

_"You can't expect these guards to work out the logical reasons to keep her alive and do so!" Obito told him. "They could kill her at any time! We don't have __time__ to finish the mission and come back and hope she's there!"_

_"I absolutely agree," Kakashi said solemnly._

_Poor Obito was so surprised he practically fell over. "…You do?" he asked finally, wondering what the trick is._

_Kakashi nodded eagerly. "Oh, definitely."_

_"What happened to 'in the ninja world, those who do not obey the rules and regulations are trash'?" Obito asked suspiciously._

_"That's true," Kakashi allowed. "But on the other hand…those who do not care about their companions are worse than trash." His grin grew as he quoted the words Obito had not yet spoken but had changed his life back to him._

_If Obito was surprised before… "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Kakashi?"_

* * *

"I would _so_ mess with Obito just for the shits and giggles," Kakashi snickered.

"I'm sure that if someone could go back in time, they'd mess with _someone_ for the shits and giggles," Neji said. "It's practically a rule."

* * *

_"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi said airily._

_"You JUST said that we should leave Rin. Just two minutes ago," Obito pointed out. "That's why I punched you."_

_"That I did," Kakashi agreed. "I changed my mind."_

_"Clearly," Obito muttered. "WHY? Not that I'm not in support of this change of opinion, because I de__f__initely am but…I don't get it."_

_"It occurred to me that my father was, in fact, a true hero after all," Kakashi explained. "And it wouldn't do very well to shame his memory by leaving Rin to die, now would it?"_

_Obito stared at him. "You…__**just**__ decided that? In the time it took you to get up after I punched you?"_

* * *

"To be honest, it took your rather traumatizing death trying to save a comrade. But the details aren't that important," Kakashi said.

"Ain't that the…"

"If you say 'Ain't that the truth' one more time, I swear I will dropkick you," Kakashi stated.

Gai just smirked. "So there _are_ things that can get on your nerves!"

* * *

_Kakashi nodded. "Yes. Maybe you too have Therapy Jutsu. In fact, I'm nearly positive that you do."_

_"Therapy Jutsu?" Obito repeated, still rather unbalanced from this recent turn of events._

_"Therapy Jutsu," Kakashi confirmed. "It's where your fighting someone, they suddenly flash back to their tragic childhood, realize that they were being an idiot and why, and change the course of their life."_

_"That…sounds kind of unlikely," Obito confessed._

* * *

"Try telling that to Sasuke or Gaara," Naruto said, proud smile on his face.

* * *

_Kakashi shrugged. "I've seen it happen." Practically every time Naruto got within two feet of a fight, really._

_"Well…okay, then. This is unexpected. Good, but unexpected. Let's go after Rin, then!" Obito declared._

_"You know, I had an entire speech planned, too," Obito complained as they approached their destin__a__tion. "It was a good speech, too! But it's like you took the words right out of my mouth!"_

_"You're imagining things," Kakashi lied, wondering vaguely if he should be concerned how well he r__e__membered what was going on. He wasn't __that__ obsessive, was he? Oh, who was he trying to kid? He r__e__lived this day at the memorial every time he went…which was every day. It would actually be kind of weird if he __didn't __remember it this well._

_"Found them," Obito breathed as they spotted the cave the Rin was being kept in. "What's the plan?"_

* * *

"Simple. Blow shit up, snatch Rin in the confusion, blow _more_ shit up, save the day and look _awesome_ while doing it," Naruto said, sagely nodding his head.

Kakashi gave Naruto a droll look. He didn't even bother responding.

* * *

_Kakashi thought for a moment, then figured that since it had worked last time, they might as well try it again. The less variables the better chance he had of controlling the outcome. "You go ahead a little. Act like you're trying to be stealthy but failing. There are two of them, so since they think we're just a bunch of kids one of them will come out while the other stays with Rin. I can kill whoever comes out from behind."_

_"Alright…Commander," Obito agreed._

_It was silly, of course, and he had had his authority acknowledged many, many times over the years, but hearing it from Obito was…nice. He hoped he'd earn that respect in the next few minutes because he really wasn't sure he could handle losing him all over again. They weren't even that close back when Obito was alive – something he was determined to rectify the minute this hostage crisis was over – but he'd made such an big impact on his life posthumously. Not to mention that while he still felt guilty that his hesitance to go after Rin the first time might have played a role in Obito's death, that was nothing compared to how hard it would hit him if he KNEW it was coming but failed to prevent it._

* * *

"I concur. There is nothing worse than being unable to prevent something that you _know_ you can prevent," Kakashi solemnly agreed.

"Kinda like when I fought Sasuke at the Valley of the End…" Naruto said, nostalgic for a second.

* * *

_"Alright, let's go…" Obito said, moving close._

_"To where?" Taiseki asked, materializing right behind Obito as Kakashi knew he would._

_Quickly, the 'newly minted' Jounin Body Flickered over to them and held a kunai to Taiseki's throat. "To rescue our teammate," he answered as he slit the enemy ninja's throat, feeling rather pleased that he'd managed to avenge his eye all these years later. Better watch that talk of vengeance, though. He didn't want to be Sasuke, after all._

* * *

"That was awesome, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto gushed.

"Humph. My fic self may be back in his child body, but the knowledge of the future made all the difference," Kakashi said.

* * *

_"Wow," Obito said, his eyes wide. "He didn't even have a chance to react!"_

_"That was the idea," Kakashi said dryly. "Now when we go in there, I need you to free Rin and get out. Watch out for falling rocks and leave Kakko to me."_

_"Who?" Obito asked, confused._

_"The enemy ninja," Kakashi explained._

_"…Why do you know his name?" Obito still didn't get it._

* * *

"Because I'm secretly one of them, and I'm gonna stab you in the back the second you take your eyes off of me," Kakashi said in an evil tone.

"…Wow. And you were talking about morbid earlier…" Shikamaru said.

* * *

_"Because I'm amazing, obviously," Kakashi said coolly. Or rather, because he'd obsessively pieced t__o__gether what he could about that day in the weeks to follow. That didn't make him sound nearly as cool, though. God, he'd really been spending too much time with Gai, hadn't he? Speaking of, since he wasn't planning on receiving his signature Sharingan this time around…he might actually have to start training with him. Not as compulsively, obviously, but he needed an edge somehow, right?_

* * *

"Great! I can't wait to have you join Lee and I in our training!" Gai said, teeth sparkling in his big grin.

"Indeed, Gai-sensei!" Lee cheered, pulling a bright red spandex suit out of nowhere. "We've been looking for someone to become Red Rampaging Rhino for quite awhile now!"

"…I'll have to take a rain check on that," Kakashi said, eye twitching.

* * *

_"Not the word I would use, but…let's go," Obito said, running towards the mouth of the cave and i__m__mediately engaging Kakko._

_Kakashi groaned. "What did I tell him? He's as bad as Naruto, I swear!" As Obito was apparently busy, Kakashi hurried to Rin's side and quickly dispelled the illusion and untied her._

_Rin blinked blurrily. "Kakashi? I-what? Oh!" Her eyes went wide as they found her other teammate. "Obito! His eyes!"_

_A quick glance confirmed for him that Obito had just awakened his Sharingan. Good. He'd completely forgotten about that in his effort to shut Taiseki down quickly and not lose his precious eye. Still, he'd better lend a hand._

_"Are you okay to walk?" Kakashi asked._

_"Yes," Rin nodded, getting shakily to her feet._

_"Wait near the exit for us," Kakashi instructed. "It shouldn't take long." Without waiting to see if she'd listen – he knew she would, of course – he turned towards the battle and through a shuriken at Kakko. He dodged it easily, but that gave Obito an opportunity to knock him down._

_"We did it!" Obito beamed when he didn't get up after several moments._

_Knowing that Kakko was either faking or would be regaining consciousness shortly, Kakashi shook his head grimly. "Not. Yet. Chidori!" he cried as he killed Obito's would-be murderer._

* * *

"Victory!" Naruto shouted, holding up the V sign.

"How does it feel to have changed history, Kakashi?" Asuma asked.

"Pretty damn good," Kakashi said with a small smile, making a mental note to read this fic on his own if given the chance.

* * *

_"Minato-Sensei said not to use that," Obito pointed out._

_"I've completed it," Kakashi replied._

_"…In __one day__?" Obito couldn't believe it._

* * *

"I'm just awesome like that," Kakashi said modestly.

"There was nothing modest about that sentence in the least," Tsunade said.

"Hey! No Leaning on the Forth Wall!" Kiba said.

"What does that even mean?" Shizune asked.

"Hell if I know," Kiba shrugged.

* * *

_"Is that any harder to believe than me changing my entire belief system in the course of one punch?" Kakashi asked rhetorically as he and the very much alive Uchiha made their way out of the very much not collapsing cave._

_"Hey, don't diss the Therapy Jutsu!" Obito laughed._

_"Wouldn't dream of it," Kakashi promised._

* * *

"Well, all's well that ends well!" Naruto said.

"Not so fast, Naruto. Look at the next sentence," Ino replied.

* * *

_"Uh, guys?" Rin piped up. "Much as I hate to interrupt now that you two are actually getting along but…reinforcements showed up."_

_"Doton Retsudo Tenshou!" Several of the many reinforcements said, putting his hands to the ground. Recognizing that jutsu as the one that had lead to Obito's death, Kakashi quickly grabbed BOTH of his teammates and hightailed it out of the path of the collapsing cave. Once he was clear, he grabbed M__i__nato's special kunai and threw it. With any luck, his Sensei would soon appear and…there he was. He had a really fast response time, didn't he? But then, since he wasn't supposed to know what the kunai did and it was shaped weird, he probably assumed Kakashi wouldn't use it if he wasn't out of options._

* * *

"All right! My Pa is gonna kick ass and take names!" Naruto said with a grin on his face.

"Huh. Guess you were right earlier, Naruto," Ino said with a shrug.

* * *

_"Wow…Sensei is awesome," Rin said, watching Minato take down opponent after opponent and showed them exactly why he was known as Konoha's Yellow Flash._

_"You think that's cool?" Obito asked. "You should try watching it with the Sharingan. Now THAT'S cool."_

_"I know," Kakashi agreed, remembering several times when he'd done just that._

_"What?" Obito asked._

* * *

"I said, 'I KNOW'," Kakashi shouted. "Did the Sharingan mess with your hearing, pal?"

* * *

_"I said 'I'm still waiting for that 'You Made Jounin' present'..."_

_"I'm very proud of all of you," Minato told them as they made camp for the night. "Rin, even though you were captured and tortured under genjutsu, you did not reveal anything to the enemy. Obito, you found your courage, awoke your Sharingan, and proved yourself as a truly capable Shinobi of Konoha. And Kakashi…I honestly never thought I'd say this, but you have learned the true meaning of tea__m__work."_

_"What about our mission?" Rin asked. "We kind of forgot about that…"_

_Minato smiled warmly at them. "Unexpected delays happen all the time on missions. I took down the Shinobi I needed to, so I can join you on your part tomorrow."_

_"The Kanabi Bridge is SO going down," Obito declared boldly._

_"I bet I'll destroy it first," Kakashi challenged impulsively._

_"Oh, you are __so__ on," Obito said heatedly._

* * *

"So this is who Sasuke-kun and Naruto used to be in a past life!" Ino said. "I know that that makes no sense. This fic is just going so good so far that I can't really come up with any good quips at the moment."

* * *

_"Oh, that reminds me," Kakashi said suddenly, turning to his female teammate. "Rin, Obito's totally in love with you." It wouldn't do to let Obito die without telling her how he felt AGAIN, now would it? R__e__ally, he was d__oing Obito a favor._

* * *

"That, and for the shits and giggles. Mostly the shits and giggles. But if it helps, then all the better," Kakashi said.

"Ain't that the…"

Kakashi moved faster than Gai could track, and dropkicked him through the (thankfully) open door.

"I warned you," Kakashi said.

* * *

_"What?" Rin asked, surprised._

_"KAKASHI!" Obito shouted and lunged at his friend._

_Kakashi smiled to himself as he ran from the enraged Uchiha. That had worked out very well. Better than he'd hoped, even. Not only was Obito alive, but they were well on their way to becoming friends and were reminding him so much of Naruto and Sasuke's rivalry that it was ridiculous. With Obito not having died for Rin's sake, she wouldn't be all depressed and go off and get herself killed. If Obito could be convinced to leave the Uchiha Compound before the massacre – he knew the date, having dealt with Sasuke for years and was not above resorting to kidnapping to keep Obito safe that night. Maybe Obito could even take in Sasuke, so he'd stop brooding so much about having no family. He wasn't quite sure what to do about Minato, but since he knew about Madara and that was the only re__a__son the Kyuubi attacked…well, he had a few years to figure something out. If nothing else, he could always take Naruto in if there was nothing to be done for Minato or Kushina. Hm, speaking of his fo__r__mer/future students (for he would, of course, have to take them if only for old time's sake), he wondered what they had used their chance to time travel for._

_Surely they were using it for a noble purpose like he was…right?_

_On the other hand, perhaps it was for the best that he'd never know._

* * *

"I have to say, I like this story so far," Tsunade said.

"Ditto. I can't wait to see what Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura will do in the next chapters!" Lee said, before rushing off to help his fallen sensei.

"Someone should go and get Sakura, don't you think," Chouji asked.

"I'll do it. Maybe I'll see some interesting cloud formations outside," Shikamaru said, leaving the room.

"Once he gets back, wake up Tenten and Sasuke, Shizune," Tsunade said.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama!" Shizune replied.

* * *

Well, here's the next chapter! As you can see, we've left the bashing scene, and gone straight into the Time Travel story! Hope you enjoy the time travel fic, and thanks to Sarah1282 for letting me use it in this fic. Catch you next Continue!


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